Losing a part of me

Things are not getting better; it is quite the opposite in fact. I will continue to push through and try to get back on track, but the emotional turmoil of my life is absolutely crushing. I cannot focus on my diet right now. The fact that I am getting through my classes without breaking down is completely shocking to me. I do not know how I will get through. I am not able to sleep so I am not even getting part way through the day before falling apart. It is truly a herculean task. I am nearly through Thursday and then there is one more day until I can rest.

My weight yesterday was just barely below 250. This morning it dropped (shockingly) nearly two pounds. I am now back to 9 lbs. from my best weight ever… but that is not nearly something I am concerned with right now. I am just trying to get through the day without wanting to harm myself.

It’s not easy.