Losing a part of me

Category: Accomplishments

  • Day 874

    The combination of (mostly) sticking to the program and the addition of fibre to three meal replacements yesterday paid off this morning. I had a very productive (and comfortable) bowel movement, and the bathroom scale showed me down three pounds from yesterday morning. Woohoo! Of course, I should not discount the fact that I also exercised yesterday – forty-five minutes on the treadmill would have contributed to that. It also justified (read: gave me an excuse) to eat a protein bar (before) and some almonds (after). Hopefully in a few days I will be able to get through the day with the exercise, and without eating. I should also mention that I had the rest of my chicken for lunch… but of course, that was planned.

    On June 1 I was down to 276.6 lbs., and then (after a day of gaining weight for no reason) I had that scary day of lethargy which prompted me to step back from the program for the week that I was working… followed by a few other excuses to extend that ‘step back.’ Gaining eight pounds in nine days felt horrible, but I was never going to let it continue. Today I am five pounds up from that weight, and by this time next week I will be under that weight. I know I can do it, as long as I stay true to the program.

    My diet buddy texted me this morning. We are going to have a call in a few minutes.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 730–Two Years In

    It was two years ago today that I started on this journey. I have had a lot of ups and downs, both in my weight and in life. In a couple of hours I will be meeting with my weight loss pal with whom I started the journey. In the meantime, I am preparing lunch and catching up on my email.

    My weight was down significantly this morning. It was nice to see. I am at a three-week low, but that means I am still 23.5 pounds heavier than my best weight ever. I have had a lot of very stressful issues these past ten weeks, most of which I am not going into here. Suffice it to say that my life has not been great; I am aware from the readers who have reached out to me that this has been clear in my writings. I hope they will get better, but I have no idea what my life will look like when the smoke has cleared.

    I have a lot of preparation to do for work today and tomorrow, and will be teaching days this week. I…

    …The phone rang, my lunch was ready, and then I had my meeting with my diet buddy. We celebrated our two-year anniversary, and we talked about all manner of things. I spoke with her as I enjoyed a cigar on the balcony, and told her that when we were done, I was finally going to get back onto the treadmill… and that is exactly what I did. I jogged half a kilometre and then walked (at a very brisk pace) for the next 4.5km. I felt great and got into the shower to clean off. It is now 6:30pm, and I am going to get dressed and go out to run a quick errand – I do not know how much propane is left in the tank that I am using, and I want to exchange the empty one so that I am not at risk of running out. When I get back home I will have dinner, take Her Floofness for her walk, and will then settle down to do some reading that I need to prepare for my class this week. I would like to go to see friends tomorrow afternoon. If I do not get my work done then that will not be possible.

    I’ll see you tomorrow. 

  • Day 633

    There is an episode of The West Wing in which Toby Ziegler (brilliantly portrayed by Richard Schiff) discusses with Tabitha Fortis (the U.S. Poet Laureate, portrayed by guest star Laura Dern) the satisfaction of crossing things off lists. In actuality it is she who discusses it with him; either way it is an episode worth watching not only for this interaction (which we are called back to at the end of the episode) but simply for the pure genius of the writing and the acting.

    TOBY: What are you doing?

    TABITHA: Crossing off the FDR Memorial, the Atrium, and the Folger Library. I like crossing off lists. It’s very satisfying. You like lists?

    TOBY: Yes.

    TABITHA: You like crossing things off?

    TOBY: I’ll let you know if it happens.

    To know the character of Toby is to understand that he is almost always fighting for the losing cause. His dry wit, along with his beard, smoking cigars, and his love of writing and the English language are just some of his qualities that I see in myself. (The Season 6-7 storyline in which his betrays his country by leaking state secrets to the press is where I get off)

    As does Tabitha, I too enjoy crossing things off. This morning, after a lot of failures that resulted in an extreme and disgusting seven-pound weight gain over Thanksgiving weekend, I was able to cross off another number on the list on my fridge. This morning’s weight not only takes me solidly into Best-Weight-Everland (as well as crossing off the next two-pound marker on my list), but it also allowed me to cross off another decade milestone… I am under 240 lbs. for the first time. I will keep going!

    The weather yesterday cleared up a little bit earlier than expected. When the forecast predicts a 40-50% chance of rain, especially in mid-October, we plan for rain. The rains that were predicted to stop around 5:00pm actually stopped much earlier, and it made for a lovely afternoon. I was hungry earlier than usual, so I prepared my lunch for noon instead of my usual 1:00-2:30pm. Following my lunch (the usual chicken with salad) I had a cigar date with my wife. After that my friend Eduardo came over and we enjoyed another cigar together. When he left, I took Her Floofness out for a walk. When I brought her home, I suited up for my walk. I knew it was going to be chilly, so a long shirt (and layers) and long training pants were the uniform of the day. I was sure that the extra weight and bulkiness of them would slow my stride somewhat.

    Boy was I wrong.

    I do not know if it was because of the chill in the air, or because I had pre-set expectations that the outfit might slow me down, or if I was just in better form than usual… but my pace (walking the whole way) was 8m37s per kilometre over the entire 12.65km of my outing! It is by far the best pace that I have ever recorded for a walk. There have been a few others under 9min/km, but those all involved at least some jogging along the way. I am chalking this up as a huge win, as well as a contributing factor to my remarkable two-pound drop from yesterday.

    This afternoon I am taking my son for lunch, and I have been on the fence about whether I will eat or not. I have asked my ex-wife to try to convince him that we should go for Greek food instead of his usual favourite, but I have not heard back yet. If he does agree to that then I can order a salad and be comfortable with it. If not, then I will not eat anything, and will come home to have a meal replacement afterwards.

    In the late afternoon and evening I am meeting with some people in Toronto, and I suspect there will be food involved. I will do my best to eat well and in moderation, but what will be available is an unknown to me. I will bring a meal replacement with me in the event that there is nothing that I can eat, but if there is something then I will stick to the moderation plan. At least I know that any food offered will be kosher.

    When Eduardo was here yesterday, I put on my Army uniform so that he could take a picture for me. It amazes me that not only does it fit, but it probably fits slightly better than it did the day I last took it off… nearly twenty-seven years ago. My last few months in the Army I let myself go a little, and was probably already starting to get pudgy. Aside from that, the only think that I noticed was that the buttons needed reinforcing… and that the IDF uniform (at least those from my era) were nowhere near the high quality cloth that the US uniforms are.

    As I have dropped below 240 lbs., my goal for this week is to drop a few more pounds to get below 235 lbs., so that when I fly to Dallas a week from today my wife will be able to see me at my absolute best. Of course, if I do not drop another ounce from right now then she will still see me at that – I have no recollection of weighing anything close to this low in the last twenty-five years. Nonetheless I still want to drop another few pounds for her.

    Okay, I am going to call my wife. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 615

    Mission accomplished. In the lead-up to my weeklong trip to California I stated at different times that I was hoping to return to Canada having gained less than five pounds, and that I was hoping that my first weigh-in after returning to Canada I would still weigh under 250 pounds. This morning, after a long day of travel followed by a very bad night of tossing and turning in bed, I stepped onto the bathroom scale and weighed 246.4 lbs., a scant two pounds heavier than my last weigh-in the morning I left! (It is also worth noting that I had always said weigh-in did not really count, as it was done at 3:20am; in fact I am only one pound heavier than I was the previous day)

    I did not sleep well at all last night. If I did not have such a busy morning, I would likely have gone right back to bed following my morning rituals and then Her Royal Floofness’ walk. That is not possible as I have a 9:00am appointment with my doctor, followed by an 11:00am appointment with my tailor. Between those two I will return home to prepare my breakfast (the only meal I will have today as I return to my weight loss program). After the second appointment I will likely come home and try to sleep for a couple of hours. I will be teaching from 6-9pm this evening and I do not want to fall asleep in class.

    I will be back in a little under two hours (although for you the reader it will seem much quicker!) to report my official doctor’s weigh-in. I am 6.2 lbs. down on my bathroom scale from the morning of my last weigh-in; hopefully the scale at the doctor’s office will reflect a similar drop!

    —

    I am not in the least disappointed to have only dropped 3.1 kg since my last weigh-in at the doctor’s office. Had I not taken the break from my regimen during the last week it likely would have been closer to 5kg, but I have no regrets. I said in advance that I would not, and I am not going back on my word. Two of the nurses told me how fabulous I look!

    I came home for a quick breakfast before heading into Hamilton to meet my clothier. I picked out four shirts and one sports jacket, and when he asked me if I my measurements would be the same as they were in March, I was very happy to say that they were not. I am a full four inches smaller around the chest and around my waist… from March! That feels amazing. I would love to be able to see another similar drop over the next six months… if not even more.

    I decided to spend a couple of hours chatting with my buddy on his patio before coming home. My intention was to come home and take a two-hour nap. What I ended up doing was going out for a (nearly) two-hour walk… and seven of the 11.25kms were under 9 min/km! My average pace was an amazing 8m47s per kilometre, making this the second outing that I can claim that in the last few. It felt great… even though I probably should have been resting. Yes, I started my class a few minutes ago (we started with a lab activity) and I am tired… but I am not sleepy. I know I will get a good night sleep tonight, but today was essentially a ‘recover from travel, a week of vacation… and all the bad habits I tried to not fall fully back into’ day.

    Will my weight on the bathroom scale tomorrow morning be back in the best weight ever territory? I do not know. What I am pretty sure of is that the next time I go to see the doctor I want to weigh under 110kg. I have to remember to call to make an appointment though, which I forgot to do when I was leaving. I will call tomorrow before I head to my dentist appointment.

    Have a great day folks!