Losing a part of me

Category: Certifications

  • Day 22… Week Four begins!

    While I wish I had stepped onto the bathroom scale the morning of Day 1, that does not even crack the top 100 things I would change if I had a time machine. That afternoon I know what I weighed because I checked at 1:30pm, and that will be my ‘official starting weight.’ I might one day, but I am certainly not ready today to share what that was. What I am ready to share is that this morning I weigh 31.2 lbs. less than I did on that day, and by no means am I upset with that progress!

    Yesterday morning I did not sit down to write as I usually do. After I came in from walking Her Floofness I fed her, made coffee and my morning shake, and I had two more hours to study before my exam. I do not know if those two hours made the difference or not, but I passed and was elated – if surprised – by that. I have another exam to take today, but I am not nearly as stressed about this exam than yesterday’s. For one thing, it was a much higher level exam. More pressing than that though is the fact that I am teaching the class for yesterday’s exam starting tomorrow, and while I have certainly taught classes for which I was not certified before, I was told in no uncertain terms by the training provider that I should have this certification prior to the class starting. Mission accomplished.

    Today’s exam is for a new certification and the exam is still in the beta stages, which means that I will not get a score result when I walk out of the exam. Yes, I said walk out of… because it is a beta exam, I cannot sit the exam remotely from home. The testing centre is a twenty minute drive from me, but I will leave very early in case of traffic.

    It seems like I am not the only one who had a nice time Friday night; we have a second date scheduled for Wednesday, and I am looking forward to it. This time I am leaving the restaurant choice up to her, and I will either eat something that is not too bad… or I will not eat. Hopefully I can just order a salad wherever she opts to go. As I have lamented before, both in these pages and to the few friends with whom I share my thoughts and emotions of my weight loss journey… dating and extreme dieting can make for a difficult tightrope to walk.

    I did have cheese and crackers at the lounge yesterday… and a handful of nuts. That I still dropped half a pound this morning is a good sign that I can eat occasionally… but I am going to try to not make a habit of it. I suspect I would have done slightly better had I had the cheese without the crackers. Yes, probably; but I still did better than I would have had I had one of the doughnuts or cookies that was offered. I might be able to do better, but I could definitely have done much worse.

    It’s another lovely autumn day here in Addison and I am going to enjoy my drive to the testing centre. I will take my cigar kit with me so that when I finish the exam I can go to the lounge directly from there. Oh, and I will pack my miniature cooler with some ice and a couple of meal replacements… so I don’t have to change my plans to come home early.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1319

    Sunday of the long weekend, and the last day of August. Tomorrow is Labour Day, and the unofficial end of the summer. What a season it has been.

    My summer has been far more productive than I thought it would be. For one thing, I did a lot more teaching than I had expected. Yes, most of my classes are booked within a week or two before the start date, but summers are usually slow. The fact that I taught three complete week-long classes and had five more days of 1- and 3-day classes since June 30 means that it was a very productive summer. However, if we add to that the fact that I have passed four certification exams since June 15 (including three major ones) and this summer vaults to the high end of productive and successful.

    While I consider my weight loss a complete shambles, I still weigh 22 lbs. less than I did on July 1… had my supplier not run out of meal replacements I know that I would be much further ahead… but here I am. I would rather be 22 lbs. less than two months ago than exactly where I was… or worse.

    In some respects the summer was a resounding success. Do I wish my life had not fallen apart? Yes… but that had nothing to do with the summer. Life is what it is… and I am going to continue to slog along. The last three certifications that I earned – SecurityX (Advanced Security Practitioner), Microsoft Cybersecurity Architect (Expert), and Certified Information Systems Security Professional (CISSP) – are going to mean a huge boost to my career; the classes that I can teach are more in demand at the higher level, and the daily rate is much higher, and when I do decide to take a job (when my whole situation starts to stabilize) I will be worth a lot (with a much higher demand). At least there’s that.

    I certainly do not have all of my ducks in a row… but at least I have a lot of them lined up. What is next? I don’t know… but one thing I can say is that my life is never boring. Just once I wish it were.

    Have a great long weekend folks.

  • Day 1317

    If you are wondering why I have been so distracted these last few days, let me assure you that it was not because I was being lazy. The following came up (one externally, one internally) since Tuesday:

    • Because I am teaching the Microsoft Cybersecurity Architect course next week, I decided that I wanted the certification. A brief explanation: The course is Microsoft’s SC-100, which corresponds directly to the exam of the same number. This will be the second time that I am teaching the class, and I passed the exam a few months ago in advance of teaching it. However, after I passed the exam, I realized that I had not earned the certification – I had only passed the exam. The certification requires one of three or four other exams. Okay, that’s fine… I’d get around to it. Well, Tuesday I decided to book one of the other exams for today at noon. That exam is SC-300: Microsoft Identity and Access Administrator. I spent most of the last three days studying for that exam.
    • In the meantime, one of the training companies that I do a lot of work for called me sometime over the last couple of days and asked if I would be willing to learn another course (Cloud Security Alliance’s Certificate of Competence in Zero Trust) so that I could take the exam sometime in advance of teaching it the week after next. The courseware is only 340 pages.

    So yes, I have been working my furry little tail off. This afternoon I passed the exam (yay). One of the training brokers that I do a lot of work for had asked me five minutes before I sat down for the exam if I would send my latest curriculum vitae, and so before I did… I edited it to add this new certification, as well as the one that I earned a few weeks ago, to it.

    I had just pressed Send on the email when I saw another email come into my box. I immediately re-emailed him to tell him to delete it. After five weeks of waiting, I received at that very moment the confirmation of my ISC2 Certified Information Security Professional (CISSP) credential. I had been waiting eagerly for that, and I re-did my CV and resent the email.

    I have neither gained nor lost significant weight this week. The status quo is better than regression; next week I need to start losing weight again.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1290

    I was in bed and asleep at a reasonable hour last night… but when I woke up to pee around 1:10am I got into my head. My worries over both of my children (who are of very different ages and who have very different problems right now) kept me awake for a couple of hours. My sleep before and after that was good, which is how I ended up with a sleep score of 67… but yeah, I had it pretty accurate – looking at the data from my fitness watch, I was awake from 1:06am to 3:06am. I likely would have slept another 30-60 minutes were it not from a phone call from my son the elder at 8:30am. I have heard from him more this past week than likely any time in the past decade, and I am so grateful for it! I will also not be upset with him for a phone call at 8:30am, even if it did wake me up. Sorry society, but that is not an unreasonable hour for a call!

    My weight dropped a full pound from yesterday! That brings my current weight loss to 28.2 lbs. in 24 days. That is certainly nothing to sneeze at! I did cheat with peanuts again yesterday, but I find that if I replace one meal replacement with a reasonable amount of unsalted peanuts then it does not harm my progress. It is when I have the peanuts in addition to my complement of meal replacements that I get into trouble. That, and the day of my exam when I ate salted peanuts (because that was what was available).

    Today will be a challenge because I am taking my son the younger for lunch. I know that I will be tempted, but I will do my best to stay strong. I cannot give in to temptation! I will also then take him grocery shopping, and the instructions from his mother are to let him buy what he wants. The only item I need for myself is coffee, and I hope I do not forget. If I do, then I will be scrambling tomorrow morning!

    It is another beautiful day, and my friend Eduardo is coming over this afternoon. He needs help with his computer, and I am always happy to see him. I doubt that his issues will take me more than a few minutes to solve, after which we will sit and enjoy a cigar on the balcony.

    I scheduled another certification exam for Wednesday because I have been asked to teach the class the following week. While it is certainly a topic I will not have any issues with, they want me to be certified so I will take the exam. I will also spend some time studying over the next few days – while I am not worried, I still want to be prepared. I spent more time studying for the CISSP exam than for any I have ever taken… and it felt good to know that pass or fail, I gave it my all. Seeing as I have work I need to do on Monday and Tuesday, I will spend some time this afternoon (after Eduardo leaves) and tomorrow with my head in the books.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1286

    My weight was up this morning. I was about to start writing this journal entry when I felt the urge, but the drop in weight was not like yesterday – I only dropped 2/10 of a pound from my morning weigh-in, which means that I am up about half a pound from yesterday. I deserve it – I left the house at 2:30pm and would not return until 8:30pm, and I knew that would be the plan. So why did I not prepare and bring at least one meal replacement with me? Because I was forgetful. I stopped and picked up the unsalted peanuts that I like, and the $2 worth of peanuts that I ate filled me up. That took the place of two meal replacements, and I am glad that I did not prepare one when I got home. I will do better today.

    My sleep was a bit better last night… with a sleep score of 79. I’ll take it.

    I have a lot of work to get done but this afternoon around 3:15pm I’ll leave to head to Grimsby. I am getting my hair cut at 4:00pm, then from 4-7 I have a series of meetings and appointments. I’ll make sure to bring a meal replacement with me this time.

    I have been checking my email every six minutes to see if my new certification has been approved, which is silly because it could take as long as 4-6 weeks. I am excited for it though and am really hoping it happens sooner. I have to practice patience!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 674

    It is much later in the day than I would normally sit down to write my daily entry. Here I am.

    I got a much later start than I normally would this morning. I did not get out of bed until 9:00am or so, which means that by the time I got home from taking her Floofness out it was closer to 10:00am. I made breakfast (as normal, if later). I then studied for thirty minutes before running out to have my haircut. When I came back home, I studied for another hour before deciding that I did not have any more time to get any smarter before I needed to sign in for my exam.

    I have been trying to study all week, but my mind has just not been in it. I have really just been staring at words on the page; My mind was absorbing nothing. The only thing I had going for me was that I do know the field. Cybersecurity is not exactly unknown territory for me, although oftentimes the exam questions are written in a way that make really intelligent people scratch their heads. However much last-minute cramming I might get in, I was resigned to the fact that I was going to fail this exam.

    I was not at all prepared for the exam, and as I sat looking at the screen, I was doing my best to just pick the answers that made me look least clueless. That was not an easy task. By the halfway mark, I was just hoping that my final score would not be too embarrassing. I was encouraged toward the end of the exam when the last ten or so questions seemed easier… not easy per se, but more straightforward; the answers were obvious if you understood the material. There was suddenly a chance that I would pull this off, but I was still doubtful.

    I pressed the ‘Review’ button after I answered the last question. At this point I had the opportunity to review any questions I might have marked, but this is not something I normally do when sitting for certification exams. I clicked ‘End Review.’ At this point I just wanted to know if I passed… or how badly I failed. No! before that, there is a short survey they would like me to complete… not so much a survey as a questionnaire, and not so much short as… something like twenty questions. I answer them honestly, partly in protest but partly because I know soon enough, I will know for sure that I failed the exam. There is also a small part of me that is convinced that if you do not answer all of their questions honestly, they will dock you ten points from your final score. I know, that is not how it works… but maybe it is!?

    Okay, it’s done. Now I will know for sure how badly I failed. The screen comes up telling me that the passing score is 750 (of a possible 900). My score is… 753. I let out the breath I had not realized I was holding in. I actually passed. I did not expect to pass. Monday or Tuesday I will receive an email from CompTIA congratulating me on my new certification. I called my buddy Jay who knows more about cybersecurity than I ever could, just so I could share the news with him. I did not make any more calls, although I did message one friend – a reader of the blog, who was chatting with me yesterday about it. I told her I was not likely to pass, and she told me she believed in me. I am happy to say that she was right. Funny… I don’t feel happy. It’s just a saying.

    Alright, so where are we on the weight loss front? After the tremendous jump yesterday, I was relieved to see a slight drop on the bathroom scale this morning… although not as much as I would have liked. I had gained a full five pounds the previous day, so dropping only 1.4 lbs. this morning was a bit of a letdown… although an expected one. That kind of weight is not likely to shed off in one or two days. Yes, I am still above that dreaded 250 lbs. mark. I hope that tomorrow I can drop below it again. We’ll see.

    It is now 7:15pm, and I reached out to my weight loss buddy to see if she is free for a call later tonight. If she is, then I will light up the balcony heater and pick a cigar. If not, then I will likely just stay inside and watch TV. I don’t know… we’ll see.

    That’s all for today. See you tomorrow.

  • Day 281

    Yesterday was one of those days that had the potential for me to go off the rails on my program. I got some very disturbing news, and it really upset me. If it was not for the unwavering love and support of my wife, I do not know what would have happened. I am relieved that the only transgression from the program yesterday was a bag of popcorn… and it was the last bag that I had in the house, so that should not be happening again.

    The results of staying on track? My weight dropped 2.4lbs, which is exactly how much I gained two days ago from my post-vaccination cheat splurge. I am still .2lbs from my lowest weight (which I recorded Monday morning, before that splurge), but if I stay on course today, I will hopefully be back into the best-weight-ever territory either tomorrow or latest by Saturday.

    I did not join the gym yesterday as I said I might. That is still in the plans, but yesterday was not a good day… it was a day to sit on the balcony and smoke a cigar and to reflect on what happened. It was also a day to renew my Microsoft ‘Expert’ certification, which was set to expire November 8. My certifications are part of my professional credibility, and I do need to maintain them to stay relevant. The renewals are not nearly as difficult (nor as regimented) as the actual certifications are, and I was able to finish it in less than thirty minutes. It is the second renewal that I did this week – the other being for my ‘Associate’ certification, which would have expired October 30. Getting these out of the way took a bit of a load off my mind indeed. I expect that in the next week or two, I will probably try to earn a couple more certifications… but that will depend on a lot of factors.

    Charlie came over for a visit today, which means that I will not be going out until it is time to pick my cleaning lady up from the train station. The weather might or might not be conducive to a cigar on the balcony – we will see how I feel – but I do know from last night that it is time to start using the patio heater. I also invoked (for the second time in a week) my mantra that if I am not enjoying a cigar, I should not be smoking the cigar. I threw out the cigar I was smoking a little past the halfway point. I should have lit another one, but I decided to step inside to warm up. It was only then that Princess Sophie told me that she wanted to go out for another walk, and so we went… we would have spent longer outside, but we saw the massive skunk (it must be the same one from the other night… unless there is a family of gigantic skunks living around here) so we both decided to come inside.

    I really miss my wife. The other day I was sitting on the porch with Lyle, and he told me that he understands why… that when he drops Dorothy off at the train station in the morning, he misses her terribly, and that is knowing that she will be back in the evening. How much worse must it be, he asked, knowing that when Leslie and I part, we will be apart for a month every time. He is right, it is agony. I miss her, and she misses me. We can only hope that the US State Department does not take too long processing our visa application. The sooner we can be together, the better.

    I joined the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) last night. I am far from retired of course, but my wife was making fun of my age (she is nearly a decade my junior), and I realized that if I joined, she would automatically become a member as well. There are discounts associated with the membership, so I figured ‘why not?’ It was just something to do… and I suppose it is just one more card that someone wants me to carry around in my wallet.

    I am not sure if today might be my last regularly scheduled meeting with my diet buddy before she goes for her surgery. We might have a couple more weeks, but I will have to ask her about that today. I am really hoping that things go well for her. I am also hoping that I do not fail yet again and find myself wanting to follow in her footsteps. I really want to lose all the weight I have to lose in a healthy manner, and a non-surgical one. I know that my prolonged obesity will have made lasting changes to my aging body, but I want that to be the extent of it; I do not want to make any surgical changes to my body. As I might have mentioned the other day, my ex-wife seems to have overtaken me in the number of scars, and I do not want to try to catch up again.

    It is time for me to get on with my day, so I will close here… have a great day folks!