Losing a part of me

Category: Eating

  • Day 34… a little more

    I was shocked this morning when the bathroom scale reported that I only gained .4 lb. overnight. I did not stick to my plan. I overate. Perhaps it was divine intervention that kept my gain to within half a pound. After all, it was a Shabbat dinner! Perhaps it was the fact that HRF Princess Sophie let me sleep in, and I actually did not weigh myself until 10:15am. I will likely be up at my regular time tomorrow morning and will brace myself for impact.

    While I was happy to be able to sleep in, I was rushed because I had an 11:30 appointment to get to. I shortened my morning ritual because the most important task was taking Her Floofness out, and by the time we got back home I had fifteen minutes to get to my barber. I threw the ingredients for a meal replacement shake into a shaker cup (I usually blend them) and shook it well as I walked to my car. I made it on time… no coffee was in the plans for the day.

    I have been good so far today. It is time to head out to my local bar to watch my hockey game. I will probably order a salad to tide me over.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 33

    I am not in a great mood today. Yes, I ate more than I should have at Lodge last night… but I neither gained nor lost weight this morning. My Montreal Canadiens won. I had a good time at Lodge. It’s just that something happened later – in which I did absolutely nothing wrong – which was incorrectly perceived and probably put a kibosh on a good thing. I wish people would communicate rather than assume. Life goes on.

    I am going to my Friendsgiving dinner this evening, and I will again try to be good. I have not been doing well on that these last few days. I am still hoping that by Monday morning, which is the ‘end of ‘official weigh-in’ day, I will be able to get back down to what I weighed last Monday.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 32 – Who knew?

    I ate a lot of leftover turkey yesterday. Because of that I was not surprised when I stepped onto the bathroom scale yesterday evening to see that I was four pounds heavier than I was in the morning. I woke up this morning and did my bathroom ritual, and before I stepped onto the scale I hoped that I would not be more than two pounds heavier than yesterday. It was the salt that worried me more than the quantity – although they were really neck and neck concerns.

    My weight dropped 1.2 lbs. from yesterday. While I am still 1.2 lbs. heavier than I was two days ago, I dropped fully half of what I gained during the Tuesday binge night. I will take that as a win. This evening will not be another binge night, although I will eat at Lodge and I will try to do so much more carefully than I did Tuesday.

    Yes, I have another Lodge to visit this evening, and I am torn about it. On the one hand, I am always happy visiting different lodges – this will be my second visit to this particular one. On the other hand, Montreal is playing Boston this evening, and that is a very important hockey game! I will keep my phone on the seat next to me… as I have these last few games for which I had Lodge conflicts.

    I plan to spend the afternoon at my cigar lounge studying again today. Hopefully by the end of next week I will be ready to sit the exam.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 31 Oopsies

    I gained two pounds this morning. Part of it is because of the turkey, most of it is probably because I had the stuffing and the sweet potatoes… and the apple pie. Stupid.

    I brought some turkey home with me… none of the rest.

  • Another Day 30

    I do not know how many times I have started over again since I started this blog and journal. I know that I have restarted several times and not gotten through the first month, but I have also gotten through the first thirty days several times before. The hard part of this attempt is behind me; the real work is ahead of me and has no end date.

    As of this morning I am down thirty-five pounds!!! You better believe that I am happy with that. I am especially happy knowing that I had dinner at a restaurant last night with my date, and while I ordered healthy, I did take one piece of garlic bread from her. I should not have done that.

    This evening I am having a turkey dinner at a Lodge, and I have to be aware of myself and careful of what (and how much) I put in my mouth. I was not careful last night, not because of the bread but because I accidentally broke my religious dietary laws. I have to atone for that, which I will do by giving to charity.

    I thought I had a good night sleep, but I would not have minded an extra hour. Every pet parent knows that when doggie asks to go out, you listen. She made it up to me a bit later though… we lay down for a nap later in the morning.

    By the way: after writing about certification exams yesterday, I decided to sit an exam right then. I was not sure what the exam would entail because while it is a topic I am pretty knowledgeable on, I had not looked at the study material; not one bit. The questions were asked in a convoluted manner – the grammar was terrible! I was worried, especially knowing that the passing score was 80%. When I pressed the Submit Answers button I was relieved that I passed. I got the minimum passing score, but that is as good as a perfect score. I have now passed 8 exams this calendar year… and probably 9 but I will only get the results of my beta exam in January. I am hoping to knock out two or three more exams this year, but we will see.

    Okay, I have to get things done. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 27: Back on track (ish…)

    As I wrote in this journal yesterday, it was my intention to eat a slice of pizza at Lodge. That did not happen as all of the pizza had meat on it, primarily pork I would assume. My diet is a convenient with myself which I can break and only break my word to myself. Breaking my word with G-d is another story. When the Lodge sat down to eat I took my leave and went home to enjoy a bowl of soup. It worked out.

    I got hungry later in the evening while I was at the bar, and I did not think I had another meal replacement in the car. I decided to order a salad which grilled chicken, and asked them to go light on the dressing. I think I did pretty well, considering it was absolutely a cheat.

    My weight this morning dropped back to where it was Thursday. I am relieved that additional salad did not hurt my progress. In order to hit my goal of fifty pounds by the end of November, I have to drop another seventeen pounds, and I have twenty-three days to achieve it. Unfortunately, there are two turkey dinners in there – one for a Lodge that I am visiting on Tuesday, another for a Friendsgiving dinner for my Jewish group. I will do my absolute best to eat in moderation, but assuming that I gain three pounds (combined) from those two cheat days, I have 23 days to lose 20 lbs. which is not going to be easy… but as I said, I set lofty goals, and if I lose 47 and not 50 then I will absolutely consider it a success.

    I have a few things going on today, but nothing that should involve eating. If I decide to have another salad for dinner this evening then I will not feel guilty about it. We will see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • 2026 Day 32

    My fitness watch is completely wrong this morning. It claims I got 4h00m of sleep from 1:35am to 4:35am, with only 7m of deep sleep. In fact, I was asleep at 9:15pm, and slept at least 3.5 hours very well and quite deep, until Her Floofness told me she needed to go out. That does NOT happen very often… in fact, I would bet that it has been at least two or maybe three years since she has asked to go out in the middle of the night. When she does… I listen. I got out of bed at 12:45am, got bundled up (the mercury read an even -20°) and took her out. She did her business quite quickly and efficiently, and we came back into the apartment to get back into bed. It must have taken me a few minutes to nod off again because I seriously doubt I was awake more than 30 minutes. In any even, the fitness watch only registered my sleep after the walk, and not before.

    That does not mean that I feel at all well-rested this morning. I have felt sleepy since I got up (before 6:00am), and know that I will be needing a nap (if not a full night sleep) before my class begins – yes, I start teaching (remotely) in Europe tomorrow morning, and I have to be online at 1:00am. I would be looking forward to the class, but only on the condition that I can get a few hours of sleep today.

    I fell right off the wagon yesterday. It was terrible, and I paid for it this morning. I will not go into the details of how badly I faltered except to say that my weight was up five pounds from yesterday. F&ck.

    My plans for today are to get a little work done, try to get a few hours of sleep, and do not go to the store where I am always tempted to buy things that are horrible for my weight loss.

    Have a great day folks.

  • 2026 Day 31

    What a relief it is to get a good night sleep… especially after the previous night of lousy and short sleep. Yesterday morning my sleep score was an abysmal 50 (based on 3h59m of sleep). Despite my best efforts I was unable to nap in the afternoon. This morning my sleep score was a delightful 94, based on 7h41m of optimally balanced sleep.

    • Sleep score: 94 (Excellent)
    • Duration: 7h41m (Excellent)
    • Stress: 15 avg (Good)
    • Deep: 3h02m (Excellent)
    • Light: 2h29m (Good)
    • REM: 2h10m (Excellent)
    • Awake/Restlessness: 6m, 26 Restless Moments (Excellent)

    I woke up refreshed and ready to take on the day… until I looked at the temperatures outside and saw that the mercury reading was -20°. For those who are unclear on this, let me give you a very brief synopsis. The mercury reading is the actual temperature. The Wind Chill factor will take that temperature down, either slightly or severely based on the wind, to what it feels like on our skin and in our bones. This morning’s wind chill was -28° when I took Her Floofness out for a blessedly short walk. She quickly and efficiently took care of the business that she needed to do, and then looked at me and said ‘Pick me up right now Daddy!‘ I feel terrible for her, knowing how cold her bare paws are on the snow and ice and concrete… but she has always refused to wear boots, so I take her out and let her walk until she asks me to pick her up… and then while I walk her into the building I try to wipe the snow and salt off of her tootsies.

    I was not expecting to be happy with the reading on my bathroom scale this morning… certainly not after two days of eating pretty badly. To be fair, yesterday I ate a lot of chicken, but that was the extent of it. Thursday, in anticipation of the extremely tough exam I was preparing to sit Friday morning I was much worse. As I prepared to step onto the scale I said to myself that I would be satisfied (or maybe relieved is a better word) with a weight gain of no more than three pounds or so from two days ago (I did not weigh myself yesterday morning before my early morning exam). I was certainly relieved if not elated to see a weight loss of one pound. Sometimes weight loss can be hard to predict.

    When I do eat during my program, I try to not consume anything after 6:00pm. Despite being hungry last night after my class was over, I knew that I had eaten a lot of chicken throughout the day, but at least I had two things in my favour. Firstly I had not had any carbs, and secondly I had finished the chicken at 5:45pm or so. I could have prepared a meal replacement shake, but decided against it. Going to bed slightly hungry is not the worst thing in the world for me. Waking up fatter may not be… but it is pretty bad.

    I have to go run a couple of errands today so I will bundle up and try to be back home as quickly as possible. I have some work that I want to get done this weekend, and with the weather being what it is I do not see myself being tempted by anything that involves my leaving the house, so this might just end up being a productive day! I have a few follow-up items to deliver based on a meeting I had with someone from one of the training organizations with; I have two upcoming classes to prepare for (although the course I am delivering this week requires no real prep, I will still spend a few minutes reviewing the material and labs; the class I am scheduled to deliver at the end of the month… that’s a whole different story, and I need to do a lot of preparation for that one). I am also hoping to do some work on the course that I am writing; while really I am waiting for feedback on the work I have already submitted, that should not stop me from doing more writing.

    All in all, this could be a pretty productive weekend… but if I do not remember to buy more coffee then I will be shooting myself in the foot!

    Have a great day folks… and try to stay warm!

  • 2026 Day 28

    I was weak yesterday and paid for it today. I do not think I was weak because I was feeling extremely weak and hungry, so I decided to buy chicken. I probably should do that less than I do, but all in all it is not a bad way to combat the hunger. Frankly, I might do much better on my program if I adjust it to include one solid meal per day. No, I was weak because when I was at the supermarket I decided to buy a couple of challah rolls to enjoy with my chicken. That was a bad idea… and why the bathroom scale showed my weight up 1.6 lbs. this morning.

    My plan for today: Eat the remaining chicken, but do not buy any more carbs!

  • 2026 Day 26

    I am going to blame my weight this morning on my neighbour. No, I am not up… but I am not down either. And no, I never actually blame anyone else for anything that goes into my mouth. When my downstairs neighbor offered me some of her homemade cauliflower soup yesterday I accepted. When she told me she was giving me a couple of slices of fresh bread I could have said no… in fact I did, but then I said ‘Okay, okay… one slice won’t hurt.’ When she gave me four slices I could have refused, of I could have politely accepted them and then thrown them out when I got home. I did dispose of them… but not in any way that I should have. They were delicious with the soup. I hate myself for having done it, but I did it.

    Owing to that, this morning my weight was exactly where it was yesterday morning. While there is still a chance that my weight will measure 10kg less than my last visit to the doctor, that will depend more on the time of day than my actual success. I fell slightly short of my promise.

    For those avid readers who obsess over these things, I mentioned in yesterday’s entry that following the first part of the entry I finally had a successful bowel movement. This morning I actually had two – one before stepping onto the bathroom scale, and one more productive one later on in the morning. By later, it would still have been early enough to get back onto the scale… but I decided not to. In truth, the only weight reading that matters today will come in about ninety minutes when I step onto the scale at my doctor’s office. As we say in French, on vera.

    My sleep would have been excellent across the board last night… had my eyes not popped open at 1:35 and stayed open for an hour. Yes, right in the middle of a great night sleep there was an hour that I was awake and could not for the life of me close my eyes. While I try to avoid screens when this happens, I knew that doing some reading on my phone would at least tire my eyes. When I finally felt the fatigue come on I embraced it immediately, throwing the phone to the side and it happened. My overall sleep score, even with the hour awake, was a 78 (fair). Three of the six other readings were in the Excellent range. I’ll take it after the previous night’s abysmal score of 37.

    I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel on a project that I took on nearly two years ago, and on which I am now sixteen months late on completion. I have put a lot of work into it these last three weeks or so, and I am satisfied that the end is near. Of course, I have to wait for approval on everything that I have written so far before I can do any more recording (it is a course that requires both content creation and video delivery). With that said, the project is one that has had me lying awake in bed many nights. For over a year it was the stress of having to sit down and do the work. Last night it was not what popped my eyes open, but as I lay awake I did give some thought to some improvements I could make to what I wrote… and how to better go forward.

    While my appointment is not until 9:15am, I am glad I set my alarm for 6:15am… and was not displeased that my eyes popped open a few minutes before it sounded. I have gotten a few things done already, and will be ready to leave home in plenty of time to get there early.

    Over the last few minutes I stepped away from the computer once again for another bowel movement. This third BM of the morning was by far the most productive of them, and I feel a relief I have not felt in a few days. It is almost as if my insides know that when I was at the pharmacy a few days ago I purchased the powder that I used last year to flush out my colon when I was in so much agony from being stopped up. Yes, I am back on the fibre… but this was a bit more than I expected!

    Okay, now I am off to the doctor’s office. I will leave this entry open so that when I get back I can write about the results.

    Okay, I am back. My doctor was pleased by my 9kg drop, and the improvement to my blood pressure. I promised I would continue to stay on track. I did admit to her that the entire weight drop is the result of of these last nearly four weeks of effort, with a big fall in the middle of that. As long as I can keep showing improvement she is happy. I will see her again in six weeks.

    After a couple of weeks of absolute bitter cold, this afternoon the temperature is set to rise to an almost bearable -5°. What a relief!

    I have a lot to get done before I head out for my afternoon in Grimsby and Beamsville, so I will close out here.

    Have a great day folks!