Losing a part of me

Category: Exam

  • Another Day 30

    I do not know how many times I have started over again since I started this blog and journal. I know that I have restarted several times and not gotten through the first month, but I have also gotten through the first thirty days several times before. The hard part of this attempt is behind me; the real work is ahead of me and has no end date.

    As of this morning I am down thirty-five pounds!!! You better believe that I am happy with that. I am especially happy knowing that I had dinner at a restaurant last night with my date, and while I ordered healthy, I did take one piece of garlic bread from her. I should not have done that.

    This evening I am having a turkey dinner at a Lodge, and I have to be aware of myself and careful of what (and how much) I put in my mouth. I was not careful last night, not because of the bread but because I accidentally broke my religious dietary laws. I have to atone for that, which I will do by giving to charity.

    I thought I had a good night sleep, but I would not have minded an extra hour. Every pet parent knows that when doggie asks to go out, you listen. She made it up to me a bit later though… we lay down for a nap later in the morning.

    By the way: after writing about certification exams yesterday, I decided to sit an exam right then. I was not sure what the exam would entail because while it is a topic I am pretty knowledgeable on, I had not looked at the study material; not one bit. The questions were asked in a convoluted manner – the grammar was terrible! I was worried, especially knowing that the passing score was 80%. When I pressed the Submit Answers button I was relieved that I passed. I got the minimum passing score, but that is as good as a perfect score. I have now passed 8 exams this calendar year… and probably 9 but I will only get the results of my beta exam in January. I am hoping to knock out two or three more exams this year, but we will see.

    Okay, I have to get things done. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 29: Week 5 Begins!

    I am not sure if the term ‘hit on’ is entirely correct, but it is fair to say that four women expressed possible interest in me over the last week! Of the three, one was extremely intoxicated and another was just batshit crazy. The other two seemed reasonable, sane, and attractive. This is a huge leap from where I was at a month ago. I am a gentleman, and because I am still seeing where things are going with the woman I have now been on two dates with I did not even exchange contact information with these women… but it is nice to know that they were interested.

    The beginning of Week 5 has me down 34.6 lbs. from my starting weight, and that makes me happy. I also notice that my clothes are fitting better.

    This week is going to be harder for me, and I will be satisfied with a one- or two-pound drop because I know that the two turkey dinners I will enjoy will take their toll. Realistically, even sticking with my meal replacements during the day, I might just break even on the week. I would like to do better than that.

    After my lunch (a meal replacement beef stew) I am going to run a couple of errands in the afternoon, and then I plan to study for an exam that I want to take in the next few weeks. Aside from the fact that the company I do most of my business with has asked me to get this certification, there is another reason:

    Last year (2025) I sat eleven exams and passed then of them. While that is by far the best year I have had for exams so far, I have an opportunity to beat it in 2026. If I do not take another exam then the seven that I have passed so far (probably eight, but I will not get the results of the last one until January) then I will have a 100% pass rate for the year, it will still be for fewer exams. If, on the other hand, I can get that number up to ten or eleven, then I can have a perfect year and meet or even beat the numbers from last year. Yes, I compete with myself and with nobody else. I have actually had eight years with 100% pass rates… but the most exams I took per perfect year was seven, and the next highest count was four. There were four years when I sat and passed a single exam. So far this year I am reasonably sure I have passed eight… but if I could get that number up to ten or eleven I will be thrilled 🙂

    Okay, my plans changed a bit. After I run my errands, I am going to meet a friend at the lounge for a cigar. Also, I have a date this evening. Wish me luck!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 22… Week Four begins!

    While I wish I had stepped onto the bathroom scale the morning of Day 1, that does not even crack the top 100 things I would change if I had a time machine. That afternoon I know what I weighed because I checked at 1:30pm, and that will be my ‘official starting weight.’ I might one day, but I am certainly not ready today to share what that was. What I am ready to share is that this morning I weigh 31.2 lbs. less than I did on that day, and by no means am I upset with that progress!

    Yesterday morning I did not sit down to write as I usually do. After I came in from walking Her Floofness I fed her, made coffee and my morning shake, and I had two more hours to study before my exam. I do not know if those two hours made the difference or not, but I passed and was elated – if surprised – by that. I have another exam to take today, but I am not nearly as stressed about this exam than yesterday’s. For one thing, it was a much higher level exam. More pressing than that though is the fact that I am teaching the class for yesterday’s exam starting tomorrow, and while I have certainly taught classes for which I was not certified before, I was told in no uncertain terms by the training provider that I should have this certification prior to the class starting. Mission accomplished.

    Today’s exam is for a new certification and the exam is still in the beta stages, which means that I will not get a score result when I walk out of the exam. Yes, I said walk out of… because it is a beta exam, I cannot sit the exam remotely from home. The testing centre is a twenty minute drive from me, but I will leave very early in case of traffic.

    It seems like I am not the only one who had a nice time Friday night; we have a second date scheduled for Wednesday, and I am looking forward to it. This time I am leaving the restaurant choice up to her, and I will either eat something that is not too bad… or I will not eat. Hopefully I can just order a salad wherever she opts to go. As I have lamented before, both in these pages and to the few friends with whom I share my thoughts and emotions of my weight loss journey… dating and extreme dieting can make for a difficult tightrope to walk.

    I did have cheese and crackers at the lounge yesterday… and a handful of nuts. That I still dropped half a pound this morning is a good sign that I can eat occasionally… but I am going to try to not make a habit of it. I suspect I would have done slightly better had I had the cheese without the crackers. Yes, probably; but I still did better than I would have had I had one of the doughnuts or cookies that was offered. I might be able to do better, but I could definitely have done much worse.

    It’s another lovely autumn day here in Addison and I am going to enjoy my drive to the testing centre. I will take my cigar kit with me so that when I finish the exam I can go to the lounge directly from there. Oh, and I will pack my miniature cooler with some ice and a couple of meal replacements… so I don’t have to change my plans to come home early.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 21… Phew!

    Let me put a few ideas down here before I lose them. It will be a short entry.

    I noticed that I have been able to run up the stairs to my third floor apartment. That is an improvement!

    Despite cheating yesterday with some cheese and crackers that were out at the cigar lounge, my weight dropped nevertheless… to below Friday’s weight, which means that both yesterday’s cheat and Friday’s date night are now out of my system as it were. My total weight loss is back at thirty pounds. Yay!

    I was extremely nervous about the exam I had to take this morning, and was thoroughly relieved when, after clicking past the post-exam questionnaire they ask you, the results page showed that I passed. Yay!

    I don’t think I slept very well last night, but since I have not been wearing my fitness watch, I have no confirmation of that. Yes, that is facetious.

    I spent much of the afternoon at my cigar lounge studying, and most of the evening at my bar last night watching my Montreal Canadiens beat Pittsburgh (in a bit of a nail-biter). I was ready to come home after the game when a buddy texted and told me he was on his way to meet me. I still managed to get home by 11:15pm.

    I might see my friend (from Friday evening) again this afternoon if she decides she wants to have a cigar with me, but that is up in the air. We shall see.

    It is now 1:20pm. and my body is a little confused because we set the clocks back last night. I’ll have my lunch meal replacement shortly, and then I’ll head to the cigar lounge. If she and I do not get together this afternoon then I will be studying for another exam that I am writing tomorrow.

    Have a great day folks!

  • 2026 Day 29

    I stuck to the plan yesterday. I ate chicken for lunch, but nothing else that was not covered on my program. I lost about half a pound overnight.

    I slept pretty well, with a sleep score of 82 (Good). I slept just short of 7 hours, and it was not because I had an alarm set for 7:15am… my eyes popped open at 6:50am. Tomorrow is going to be a whole different story. I have to write an exam, and I have to do it before the end of the week. I logged on to schedule it yesterday, only to discover that I could either write it anytime tomorrow morning before 6:00am, or I could write it tomorrow night (after I finish teaching) from 10pm until midnight. Aside from the fact that I would not want to take the exam so late into the night, especially after having taught a completely different class just prior, I also know that if I pass it in the morning, then the people who are waiting on my results to take certain actions will have the entire day Friday… rather than losing the entire weekend. As it stands, I have serious doubts that I am going to pass this exam… but I will give it my best shot.

    While I was unsuccessful in the early morning, I just now was able to move my bowels. What a relief. If that sounds crude, then you likely will not remember when, a few months ago, I was completely stopped up and in agony from it. I am making sure to add a good helping of fibre to my morning shake every day in hopes of avoiding a recurrence of that. I do not remember exactly when it was – probably last summer or early autumn – but I remember being unable to sit or lie down comfortably, and how I resolved it. While I have proactively purchased the cleansing solution that I would need for that eventuality, I hope that the fibre prevents my needing to use it.

    As I mentioned a minute ago, I am not confident about tomorrow’s exam, so I will spend the entire day studying for it. I have already set my alarm for a ridiculously early hour, and I have arranged for Princess Sophie to have a sleepover with our neighbour so that I will not have to deal with her in the morning. Now it is time for me to get to work, and hopefully get in enough to actually pass.

    Have a great day folks!

  • 2026 Day 5

    After reading my journal entry yesterday, my diet buddy told me that I should trust my scale, and that I should accept the tremendous weight loss as to be expected in the first week – especially for men. When we spoke later in the day, I explained to her that the reason I did not trust it was not because I did not think it possible that I have lost so much weight in four days, but rather because my floor is not as solid as it could be, coupled with the fact that the bathroom scale (which don’t get me wrong, I have been using since 2020 and I love it) is a cheap one. I have noticed over my weight loss ups and downs that when I weigh over a certain weight (not an exact measure, but a general area) it is less consistent than it will be when I am… say, below 280 lbs.

    As if the scale wanted to prove my point this morning: At 8:01:09 this morning I stepped onto it and it registered my weight at .4 lb. heavier than it was yesterday morning. I stepped off, waited for it to clear, and stepped back onto it. At 8:01:39 it registered my weight at 1.4 lbs. lighter than it was yesterday. I did not move it, I did not nudge it, I did not even stand on it any differently. Two measurements thirty seconds apart were nearly two pounds off. For good measure, I did take a third reading, and that one was consistent with the second (the one that was down). Hence the reason I do not trust my bathroom scale. I will be seeing a doctor next week, and I am sure he will weigh me. Whether he does or does not, the following week I will be seeing my regular doctor, and I know that she will be doing so. Their scales should be much more accurate.

    With that said: down is good!

    Yesterday was the first day since I started the program that I consumed my four meal replacements. The only ‘cheating’ that I did was the two stalks of celery that I ate to abate my hunger throughout the day. If that sounds non-specific, it is because yes… I ate two stalks of celery. However, you may recall that I wrote yesterday that I had cut them up and put them into a not-really-Tupperware container. I cut them into thirds; I ate two pieces three times, totaling two stalks.

    I did not end up using the treadmill yesterday, but I did sit my exam (which I passed). I then decided that maybe it was not quite as windy as the forecast had predicted, so I prepared myself to sit outside with a cigar. I cut it but had not even picked up my torch when a gust blew cold, and I realized that sitting outside was not a good idea. I have always said that I do not mind the cold, but the wind makes it unpleasant. That is true in the summer, but that truth is amplified when the wind chill brings the temperatures down to minus double-digits.

    I have noticed (and not only recently) that despite my old habits of staying up late, my sleep score is consistently higher when I go to sleep earlier. It took me a bit of time to fall asleep last night, but according to the fitness watch, I was asleep at 11:07pm. These nights when I teach until 9:00pm will be difficult, but I am going to endeavour to be ready for sleep earlier than my usual. I would like to get into that habit if indeed I sleep better if I go to sleep earlier.

    My sleep score last night was identical to the previous night, which is not a bad thing. I slept 30 minutes less than the previous night, but most of the measurements were similar – some a bit up, some a bit down.

    • Duration: 7h15m (Excellent)
    • Stress: 20 avg (Fair)
    • Deep: 1h17m (Good)
    • Light: 5h08m (Fair)
    • REM: 51m (Fair)
    • Awake/Restlessness: 13m, 34 Restless Moments (Good)

    Two of the ‘good’ measurements from the previous night were now only fair, and one of the ‘fair’ measurements was now good. Hey, as long as I am able to get through the day without falling asleep in class I will be happy.

    Speaking of class, I got my evaluations from last week’s class this morning. The Overall Instructor score was perfect. Yay! I always strive for this, but there is usually one or two students who give me a 4 out of 5. Not last week. Phew! This week I am teaching two classes… one during the day (advanced cybersecurity), and my evening cohort for basic IT skills begins today as well. I will be delivering that over the next four months every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evening. It is the fifth such cohort that I will have delivered to the same company’s employees since 2023, and while it makes for a lot of long days when I also teach during the day, it is a nice infusion of extra income that will really help.

    Princess Sophie and I went out for our usual walk this morning, and I will not lie… that wind makes it really cold! Someone asked me recently why I would ever have moved back from sunny California to live in this climate. That is a story for another day.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1319

    Sunday of the long weekend, and the last day of August. Tomorrow is Labour Day, and the unofficial end of the summer. What a season it has been.

    My summer has been far more productive than I thought it would be. For one thing, I did a lot more teaching than I had expected. Yes, most of my classes are booked within a week or two before the start date, but summers are usually slow. The fact that I taught three complete week-long classes and had five more days of 1- and 3-day classes since June 30 means that it was a very productive summer. However, if we add to that the fact that I have passed four certification exams since June 15 (including three major ones) and this summer vaults to the high end of productive and successful.

    While I consider my weight loss a complete shambles, I still weigh 22 lbs. less than I did on July 1… had my supplier not run out of meal replacements I know that I would be much further ahead… but here I am. I would rather be 22 lbs. less than two months ago than exactly where I was… or worse.

    In some respects the summer was a resounding success. Do I wish my life had not fallen apart? Yes… but that had nothing to do with the summer. Life is what it is… and I am going to continue to slog along. The last three certifications that I earned – SecurityX (Advanced Security Practitioner), Microsoft Cybersecurity Architect (Expert), and Certified Information Systems Security Professional (CISSP) – are going to mean a huge boost to my career; the classes that I can teach are more in demand at the higher level, and the daily rate is much higher, and when I do decide to take a job (when my whole situation starts to stabilize) I will be worth a lot (with a much higher demand). At least there’s that.

    I certainly do not have all of my ducks in a row… but at least I have a lot of them lined up. What is next? I don’t know… but one thing I can say is that my life is never boring. Just once I wish it were.

    Have a great long weekend folks.

  • Day 1317

    If you are wondering why I have been so distracted these last few days, let me assure you that it was not because I was being lazy. The following came up (one externally, one internally) since Tuesday:

    • Because I am teaching the Microsoft Cybersecurity Architect course next week, I decided that I wanted the certification. A brief explanation: The course is Microsoft’s SC-100, which corresponds directly to the exam of the same number. This will be the second time that I am teaching the class, and I passed the exam a few months ago in advance of teaching it. However, after I passed the exam, I realized that I had not earned the certification – I had only passed the exam. The certification requires one of three or four other exams. Okay, that’s fine… I’d get around to it. Well, Tuesday I decided to book one of the other exams for today at noon. That exam is SC-300: Microsoft Identity and Access Administrator. I spent most of the last three days studying for that exam.
    • In the meantime, one of the training companies that I do a lot of work for called me sometime over the last couple of days and asked if I would be willing to learn another course (Cloud Security Alliance’s Certificate of Competence in Zero Trust) so that I could take the exam sometime in advance of teaching it the week after next. The courseware is only 340 pages.

    So yes, I have been working my furry little tail off. This afternoon I passed the exam (yay). One of the training brokers that I do a lot of work for had asked me five minutes before I sat down for the exam if I would send my latest curriculum vitae, and so before I did… I edited it to add this new certification, as well as the one that I earned a few weeks ago, to it.

    I had just pressed Send on the email when I saw another email come into my box. I immediately re-emailed him to tell him to delete it. After five weeks of waiting, I received at that very moment the confirmation of my ISC2 Certified Information Security Professional (CISSP) credential. I had been waiting eagerly for that, and I re-did my CV and resent the email.

    I have neither gained nor lost significant weight this week. The status quo is better than regression; next week I need to start losing weight again.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1294

    **NOTE: This post was written August 6, 2025… I just noticed that it did not publish. I am backdating it for that reason. -MDG

    I was shocked when I saw the numbers on the bathroom scale this morning. Remember that nearly-1.5lbs. drop from yesterday? I put back 1.6 lbs. this morning. I was furious… until I realized two things: Firstly, it was 1:30am. I am teaching in Europe for the rest of the week, and I had to be at the computer and online for 3am. Secondly, I had not slept a wink. Try as I might, I did not fall asleep for even a minute. My alarm was set for 2:15am but I turned it off and got out of bed and showered long before that. Those two factors make this morning’s (sic) weigh-in completely meaningless.

    I passed my exam! For the second time in two weeks, I passed a very high-level cybersecurity exam. I was comfortable with most of it… until they gave me a Linux virtual machine and told me to do something that I have not done in a very long time. For the life of me I could not remember any of the necessary commands, and eventually I did what I could and then closed the VM. I was convinced that would have ended my chances of passing. Nope! I then took care of a bit of work, and then enjoyed a fine celebratory cigar on the balcony.

    I am sure there is more to write, but I am looking at the clock and my class break is nearly over. I will try to do as well with my eating today as I did yesterday… which will be more of a challenge because I will be taking my son the younger for lunch again. I am looking forward to spending time with him… but not to sitting in a restaurant and not eating.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1283

    I did not expect to see another huge drop this morning, so imagine my surprise when the numbers on the bathroom scale were another 1.4 lbs. down from yesterday!? That puts my loss-to-date at 31.8 lbs. on Day 27 of my latest attempt. I am thrilled with that! As well, after dropping only 3.2 lbs. last week, So far this week I have dropped 5 lbs.! What I am not thrilled with is that I am still well above the terrible mark. I hate that I let myself get so out of hand this calendar year.

    Analyzing the past data, while my weight first crept above the terrible mark at the end of September, in October it was higher than that for fifteen days, and then November it was fourteen days. In December I was doing better for a while… only seven days above that terrible mark. And then there was January… where I dropped below the terrible mark only once – and not since that day have I been there.

    If all goes well then by the middle to end of August I should drop below it once more. I will breathe a sigh of relief when I do.

    As it stands, the clothes that I ordered in June are a bit loose on me. I am wearing them comfortably, but you can tell I have lost a pound or two… or rather 18.4 lbs. to be precise! I am still disgusted that I cannot even button up the biggest of my sports jackets (although I am more comfortably able to wear my suits), and have reluctantly made a decision. Each time I have lost all of the weight, I have said ‘I will never gain it back again!’ and I have given away all of my fat clothes… which is why I had to get a new sports jacket and three new shirts made for me in June. When I can finally wear my slimmer clothes again I am going to take these new shirts and jacket and put them in a garment bag marked ‘If I am ever Fat and Ashamed again.’ I will not throw them out… but I will put them away in my storage locker.

    (I should mention that while I gave away the largest of my sports jackets, I am currently wearing a shirt that I had made in 2022, when I was first losing the weight. I have several shirts that do not fit yet, but I now have several from the down swing that do. They did not fit a month ago.)

    I mentioned yesterday that I had not moved my bowels in the morning… well in the afternoon I had what was probably the best movement since I stopped eating solid foods. I would not be surprised if that was a big contributing factor to this morning’s significant weight loss. What a relief! This morning I have thus far been unsuccessful, but there is still hope for the afternoon.

    My sleep score was up to an 87! I was surprised because of a number of factors:

    1. Even though I was in bed at a reasonable hour, I had a lot of trouble falling asleep.
    2. There was an Amazon delivery driver who decided to phone me at 6:30am to let me know he was leaving a package at my door. That is really my fault for disabling Sleep Mode on my phone… but I did not think I was going to get back to sleep after that. I did (phew!)

    I cannot think of the last time I had three nights in a row with a sleep score in excess of 80… Saturday night through Tuesday morning I registered 86-84-87. Woohoo! This, in addition to the nap I took yesterday afternoon.

    Yes, I took a nap. I spent most of the day trying to record a video for the course I am writing, and there was not one minute when I was not holding back a yawn. I could not figure it out, and finally I decided to walk away from the computer. I took Her Floofness out for a walk (she did not really feel like being out, so we only walked the perimeter of the building before coming back inside). She ran to Sue’s (the neighbour) for a visit, and I sat on the balcony with a cigar and a book. I thought that just maybe a break from not only sitting at my computer but also from studying computers would be beneficial. After my cigar was done I was feeling no more awake, and gave in to the temptation. I slept for an hour.

    While the nap certainly did my body good, I was still yawning all evening. On something like take 87 I was finally able to submit my video. (There was one take, maybe twenty or so takes earlier, that was definitely good enough… only for me to realize that while the screen and the mic were working, my camera was not. ARGH!) Video work is a lot more frustrating than teaching a live class… when I stumble over my words in class I can make light of it. That would not work for a recorded class.

    I did have a handful of peanuts yesterday…and I will again today. I am, as I said a few days ago, eating them in lieu of my fourth meal replacement. Three shakes and a handful of peanuts is not a bad compromise. I also suspect (with no scientific basis for it) that the peanut oil is helping the fibre in easing that last part of the digestive process. Maybe yes, maybe no… but I had the peanuts yesterday and recorded a huge weight drop, so maybe in moderation even if it doesn’t help… it doesn’t hurt.

    I do have some more video work to do today, but I also have an exam to prepare for this afternoon. As such, my plan is:

    • Head out after publishing this journal entry to visit with my son, stopping for a handful of peanuts along the way.
    • Come home, study for my exam for a few hours.
    • Clean off my kitchen table so that it will be completely clear for my exam.
    • Set up the exam computer.
    • At 4:45 I will either drop Her Floofness at Sue’s, or if she is not home I will put her in my bedroom so that I can take my exam.
    • After the exam, I will try to record the next video in the series.
    • After the sun goes down I will sit on the balcony with a cigar… if I pass my exam it will be a celebratory cigar (yes, it is a pretty advanced certification); if I do not pass then it will be an everyday pedestrian cigar. Let’s hope!

    Okay, it’s time to get moving. Have a great day folks!