Losing a part of me

Category: Regret

  • Day 872

    I have not gained seven pounds in the last ten days because I completely fell off the wagon. It has been a combination of many factors that include stress, long work days with no ability to exercise, constipation, not drinking enough water, and yes… eating more than I should. I took a break from the program for the past week because my energy levels were completely tapped, and I needed to be able to get through very long work days successfully. Now is the question of starting back on it. I had a Lodge event on Saturday that had a lot of food involvement, and it would have been difficult for me to stick to the program. At the event I spoke with my mentor (who is on the same program as I am) and he recommended that I hold off resuming the program until Tuesday, knowing that I am getting promoted Monday night. As such, that is my plan. I am hoping that I can succeed.

    I did not blog Saturday or Sunday, but neither was because I was gorging myself. I had a lot of things going on, and it slipped my mind. I am glad to be back at it this morning, and will try to continue to use it as a tool to remember to stay true to the program starting tomorrow. I did get back on the treadmill yesterday to exercise for the first time since last Saturday, and while I was worn out after 2km jogging and 2km walking, I felt better for having done it. I will resume my cadence of daily workouts, but I will not push myself quite so hard the first week of my program.

    I have a doctor’s appointment at noon today. I have to discuss my medications with her, as well as a couple of other things. I also suspect that I am due for a complete physical, but I will ask her about that.

    When I am home from that appointment I will have lunch, then I will hit the treadmill for an hour. I will shower then I will do some work before heading to the Lodge. My promotion is actually being held at another lodge, which means that this evening will also be my first ever visit to another lodge. At least twenty of my Lodge brethren have reached out to tell me they will be there to support me, which is really heartwarming. Of course, there are two of us from our lodge who are doing it together, so there’s twice the reason to come out to support us!

    It is a cloudy day and a bit chilly for the second week of June, but at least it is not cold, rainy, or wintery. I’ll take it.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 145

    I am not sure why I have been putting off writing this morning. I sat down at my computer over an hour ago, and it took me this long to get through my first sentences. Sigh.

    Yesterday morning I took my boys for breakfast at the same place we usually go. I sent our favourite waitress an email letting her know we would be coming, but she replied that she had been fired for no reason. Boo. The waitress makes little difference to the quality of the food (which is always good) or the coffee (which is always terrible), but a good server can make a meal more enjoyable. The woman serving us yesterday did not do that. Oh well. I had my usual healthy breakfast, and we had a nice time together.

    When we arrived at the restaurant, we were told there would be a 30–45-minute wait for a table, and that they would send me a text message when it was ready. We decided to walk across the street. The bookstore was closed, but the art supplies store was not. We walked around, and it turned out they sell STEM toys. My son the elder encouraged my son the younger to pick a couple out (as they were on a buy one, get 50% off the second sale), and while it was not his money to spend, I know that Gilad had never chosen a replacement STEM toy for the one that had not been delivered for his birthday. He was happy, and I never have an issue buying educational toys for my son.

    I had a headache from the moment I woke up, so after breakfast I came home and took a nap. HRF Princess Sophie was only too happy to keep me company. After a couple of hours, we got up and I went shopping… despite saying that I was going to, I did not go to the supermarket Saturday, and now I was completely out of veggies. When I came home, I made my chicken for dinner, and then sat outside with a cigar.

    I have a friend Josh who I have known for years, and a few years ago he and his wife invited me to celebrate Thanksgiving with them. Never one to turn down a turkey dinner, I was happy to bring a bottle of wine and cigars for after dinner. As we were smoking outside, he asked me: “Mitch, why is it that when I smoke any other cigar, I am left with a lousy taste in my mouth both that evening and the following morning… but when I smoke one of your cigars, I don’t get that?” The simple answer is that I only share very good cigars. Last night I smoked a cigar that was gifted to me by a friend, and let me tell you… I had to brush my teeth and gargle extra hard last night… and this morning. It was a very well-appointed cigar, with a double band that as embossed with the logo and fine print. The phrase ‘lipstick on a pig’ comes to mind. Still and all, when that friend asks me how it was, I will be nice about it.

    I mentioned yesterday that the previous day I had a very unpleasant encounter with someone. That person had told an extremely offensive anti-Semitic joke about gassing Jews, and as a result I will not hang out with or around that person again. It turns out though that I had inadvertently hurt Ryan’s sister’s feelings, and I felt terrible about that. I sent her an apology this morning, and hope that she will forgive me. I cannot help though but to wonder if her level of offense (the day after the fact) might not be somehow tied to the fact that her boyfriend is an anti-Semite, and she might be trying to create an equality that ‘Well yes, he said something that offended you… but you said something that offended me too, so it’s all good.’ I made sure that my apology did not try to excuse my words as anything other than stupid comments… but still I wonder.

    It is a beautiful day out, and I am looking forward to doing something I have not done in over a year. This afternoon I have a massage appointment booked, and I look forward to hopefully relieving some of the tension that is in my back and shoulders. I might take the opportunity to turn my mattress before I go, so that I will be sleeping on a fresh side. If I was smart, I would also go to buy new pillows… but knowing that in the next few months I will be moving in with Leslie, I do not want to rush to do that now. I am trying to keep my buying to a minimum… I already have too much stuff.

    Have a great day folks, and enjoy the weather… wherever you are!