Losing a part of me

Blog

  • Day 615

    Mission accomplished. In the lead-up to my weeklong trip to California I stated at different times that I was hoping to return to Canada having gained less than five pounds, and that I was hoping that my first weigh-in after returning to Canada I would still weigh under 250 pounds. This morning, after a long day of travel followed by a very bad night of tossing and turning in bed, I stepped onto the bathroom scale and weighed 246.4 lbs., a scant two pounds heavier than my last weigh-in the morning I left! (It is also worth noting that I had always said weigh-in did not really count, as it was done at 3:20am; in fact I am only one pound heavier than I was the previous day)

    I did not sleep well at all last night. If I did not have such a busy morning, I would likely have gone right back to bed following my morning rituals and then Her Royal Floofness’ walk. That is not possible as I have a 9:00am appointment with my doctor, followed by an 11:00am appointment with my tailor. Between those two I will return home to prepare my breakfast (the only meal I will have today as I return to my weight loss program). After the second appointment I will likely come home and try to sleep for a couple of hours. I will be teaching from 6-9pm this evening and I do not want to fall asleep in class.

    I will be back in a little under two hours (although for you the reader it will seem much quicker!) to report my official doctor’s weigh-in. I am 6.2 lbs. down on my bathroom scale from the morning of my last weigh-in; hopefully the scale at the doctor’s office will reflect a similar drop!

    —

    I am not in the least disappointed to have only dropped 3.1 kg since my last weigh-in at the doctor’s office. Had I not taken the break from my regimen during the last week it likely would have been closer to 5kg, but I have no regrets. I said in advance that I would not, and I am not going back on my word. Two of the nurses told me how fabulous I look!

    I came home for a quick breakfast before heading into Hamilton to meet my clothier. I picked out four shirts and one sports jacket, and when he asked me if I my measurements would be the same as they were in March, I was very happy to say that they were not. I am a full four inches smaller around the chest and around my waist… from March! That feels amazing. I would love to be able to see another similar drop over the next six months… if not even more.

    I decided to spend a couple of hours chatting with my buddy on his patio before coming home. My intention was to come home and take a two-hour nap. What I ended up doing was going out for a (nearly) two-hour walk… and seven of the 11.25kms were under 9 min/km! My average pace was an amazing 8m47s per kilometre, making this the second outing that I can claim that in the last few. It felt great… even though I probably should have been resting. Yes, I started my class a few minutes ago (we started with a lab activity) and I am tired… but I am not sleepy. I know I will get a good night sleep tonight, but today was essentially a ‘recover from travel, a week of vacation… and all the bad habits I tried to not fall fully back into’ day.

    Will my weight on the bathroom scale tomorrow morning be back in the best weight ever territory? I do not know. What I am pretty sure of is that the next time I go to see the doctor I want to weigh under 110kg. I have to remember to call to make an appointment though, which I forgot to do when I was leaving. I will call tomorrow before I head to my dentist appointment.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 614

    As Leslie and I filed out of synagogue at the end of Sunday evening services the Rabbi told us that we, as newlyweds, are not permitted to fast for the first year of our marriage. That was certainly enlightening, and something we would keep in our back pockets. What it meant more than anything was that we could shower and brush our teeth the next morning. There are some prohibitions in my religion that I am not quite fond of; I have no problem fasting for twenty-six hours, and I do not mind the prohibition against smoking cigars. I really do not enjoy going through the day without brushing my teeth. Thank you, Rabbi! What about next year? We will jump off that bridge when we come to it. I have fasted on Yom Kippur for many years, and I will have no problem fasting again next year. Whether I will commit the forgivable sin of brushing my teeth is the question… but if history tells us anything it is that I will indeed.

    I stepped onto the bathroom scale yesterday morning and was relieved to see that my weight was down over a pound. This was less because I was really good on Sunday, and more because I had been really bad on Saturday, and my body was simply righting itself. I stepped back onto the scale this morning and was down another .2 lb., which means that as of this morning I have gained three pounds on this trip. This bodes well for my hopes to stay under 250 lbs. for tomorrow morning (when I will be back in Canada). I am extremely pleased with that for many reasons, some of which I will go into later on when I continue writing (I expect to shut my laptop down in a few moments and will resume writing from the airplane).

    It is always sad to leave Westlake Village, but it is even sadder to be parting with my wife for the next few weeks. It had been my intention to sit down at the airport and book that next flight, but airport aggravation prevented that. I was finally seated comfortably in the terminal when the airline announced a gate change… to a completely different terminal. The downside was that I had to pack everything up and get from the original terminal to the changed terminal. The upside was that Leslie was in that terminal so I got to spend another half hour with her.

    I am now on the airplane and the masses are boarding. It feels like every second person passing my seat goes out of their way to smash their carryon luggage into my shoulder. Grrr.

    I mentioned several hours (and two paragraphs) ago that I wanted to arrive back in Canada weighing under 250 lbs. and I was going to enumerate the reasons. Firstly and foremost I did not want to lose control during the trip – a very real possibility when I travel. The other two reasons were:

    · I am seeing my doctor tomorrow which means an official weigh-in. I would love to see a drop from last month – even if it is just a small one. If today goes well then I will probably remain under 248 lbs. tomorrow morning which will mean about a 5 lbs. drop from last month. I will be very happy with that!

    · After my doctor’s appointment I have my appointment with my tailor, and I will be measured for shirts and a sports jacket. The smaller I am the better I will look in new clothes… even though I will not have them for another two months.

    I had thought about cheating at the airport in Los Angeles but then decided against it… even before I realized I had to change terminals and would be with my wife. I am hoping that at least one of these flights has snacks for sale because although I do have some almonds that Leslie gave me, I forgot to bring a shake with me. If I am in the terminal in Dallas, then I do not think there is anything smart to eat there… especially with my short layover.

    Okay, it is time for me to get on with it. The doors are about to close so it is time for me to turn off.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 613

    May you have an easy fast.

  • Day 612

    The vacation continues and my plans to stay good have not gone well. Leslie and I will have dinner this evening and then the fast begins. We will spend 26 hours reflecting and disconnecting. We will break the fast tomorrow evening and I suspect that with that my hopes to stay under 250 lbs. on this trip will be realized. Wish me luck!

    For those of you who are of the faith, may you have an easy fast and be inscribed in the Book of Life.

  • Day 611

    Today was another great day, but not for the weight management program. I am not completely off the rails, but I could do better. I am still hoping to weigh under 250 lbs. when I get back to Canada.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 610

    It has been a wonderful day but not one conducive to writing. See you all tomorrow!

  • Day 609

    My weight was up again this morning. I did not eat anything too off the program yesterday and I suspect it was due to the over-cheats from Tuesday. I am not terribly concerned.

    It was great to see my wife again. The airport was a shit show, and her flight was delayed by two hours, and with all of that I was thrilled to be with her again.

    Short but sweet. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 608

    Aside from the debacle with the car rental agency, yesterday was a good day in all respects save one. I did not stick to my program. Here is the Cliff’s Notes version: I had my breakfast at the airport (never a good start, although I did not do too badly). On the plane I had a couple of the mini protein bars that are on offer. At the airport in Dallas I tried to buy a sandwich but failed, owing to the abject stupidity of the young lady behind the counter, and knowing that if I had not walked away I would have offended her. I planned to buy the fruit and cheese plate on the second aircraft, but it turns out they do not sell food on shorter flights. It should be noted here that their in-seat guide claims that to be under 1,100 miles, while this flight was 1,235 miles. That changes not the fact that there was no fruit and cheese platter to be had on this flight. In place of same I opted for another of the mini-protein bars. I arrived at my destination hungry, and the 90 minutes I spent fighting with Avis Rent-A-Car (who for this trip can be referred to as the ‘We have your money because you pre-paid so go fuck yourself, Inc.’) did not help. When I pulled into Robert and Cecelia’s driveway at 2:15pm I was hungry, and when they offered me a sandwich I accepted. In the evening I met my buddy David at The Stonehaus and we decided to share a pizza. We then met other friends, and before he dropped me back at the hotel we stopped at CVS and I bought late-night snacks.

    If everything else I did yesterday can be excused, the late-night snacks was a boneheaded decision on my part. I should never have done that, but it is done.

    Result: This morning my weight crept back above 245 lbs. this morning. There can be no doubt as to why, nor that I deserved it.

    I woke up this morning and went for breakfast. I had a bagel with lox and cream cheese (not a smart move, but it was also not the worst I could have done), and three cups of coffee. As I sat there watching my movie it occurred to me that just two years ago I would come to this same restaurant and order two breakfasts… and not the reasonable bagel with lox and cream cheese. This is a huge improvement to be sure.

    I returned to the hotel and changed into my exercise kit. I went out for a 12.5km walk around my old neighbourhood as well as around the lake. It felt good, and it felt great to see that my average per-kilometre pace throughout was under 9:00/km. On my last few walks I have been happy to see a couple of split kilometres under that pace, but for the entire duration? It has never been close.

    I came back from my walk and showered, and before heading out to see my friend at the Stonehaus I made a meal replacement for myself. I would rather go there on a reasonably full stomach than be tempted by… well, there are myriad temptations there.

    At 3:00pm I teach and then I will drive south toward LAX. Leslie will be here in nine hours!!!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 608

    Aside from the debacle with the car rental agency, yesterday was a good day in all respects save one. I did not stick to my program. Here is the Cliff’s Notes version: I had my breakfast at the airport (never a good start, although I did not do too badly). On the plane I had a couple of the mini protein bars that are on offer. At the airport in Dallas I tried to buy a sandwich but failed, owing to the abject stupidity of the young lady behind the counter, and knowing that if I had not walked away I would have offended her. I planned to buy the fruit and cheese plate on the second aircraft, but it turns out they do not sell food on shorter flights. It should be noted here that their in-seat guide claims that to be under 1,100 miles, while this flight was 1,235 miles. That changes not the fact that there was no fruit and cheese platter to be had on this flight. In place of same I opted for another of the mini-protein bars. I arrived at my destination hungry, and the 90 minutes I spent fighting with Avis Rent-A-Car (who for this trip can be referred to as the ‘We have your money because you pre-paid so go fuck yourself, Inc.’) did not help. When I pulled into Robert and Cecelia’s driveway at 2:15pm I was hungry, and when they offered me a sandwich I accepted. In the evening I met my buddy David at The Stonehaus and we decided to share a pizza. We then met other friends, and before he dropped me back at the hotel we stopped at CVS and I bought late-night snacks.

    If everything else I did yesterday can be excused, the late-night snacks was a boneheaded decision on my part. I should never have done that, but it is done.

    Result: This morning my weight crept back above 245 lbs. this morning. There can be no doubt as to why, nor that I deserved it.

    I woke up this morning and went for breakfast. I had a bagel with lox and cream cheese (not a smart move, but it was also not the worst I could have done), and three cups of coffee. As I sat there watching my movie it occurred to me that just two years ago I would come to this same restaurant and order two breakfasts… and not the reasonable bagel with lox and cream cheese. This is a huge improvement to be sure.

    I returned to the hotel and changed into my exercise kit. I went out for a 12.5km walk around my old neighbourhood as well as around the lake. It felt good, and it felt great to see that my average per-kilometre pace throughout was under 9:00/km. On my last few walks I have been happy to see a couple of split kilometres under that pace, but for the entire duration? It has never been close.

    I came back from my walk and showered, and before heading out to see my friend at the Stonehaus I made a meal replacement for myself. I would rather go there on a reasonably full stomach than be tempted by… well, there are myriad temptations there.

    At 3:00pm I teach and then I will drive south toward LAX. Leslie will be here in nine hours!!!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 607

    I cannot decide if it means anything or not. After all, I know that when I weigh myself at 3:15am the readout will be completely different from when I weigh myself when I normally wake up. I was absolutely not planning to even step onto the bathroom scale this morning… I packed my suitcase last night and the scale was in it. As fate would have it I packed all of my golf shirts, so I needed to take one out to wear today. I opened it up and decided to see what the dreaded machine would say… even though I was sure to be disappointed.

    244.4 lbs.

    Two hundred and forty-four pounds.

    I did not see any chance that it would happen after the crap I had gone through these last ten days or so, but I achieved that goal. This morning, in time to fly to California, I have lost 150 lbs. 150.6, to be specific.

    For the first time since I set the goal in that app that came with my bathroom scale, I have less than fifty pounds to go to to my ultimate (and unrealistic) weight goal!

    I am currently on the plane on the first leg of my flight to LAX. I drove to the airport (a first – when the trip is short enough it is cheaper to pay for off-airport parking than it is to pay for the Uber to and from), I got through Security and Customs and I had my breakfast wrap (minus the bacon). As I promised myself I would, I swapped out the potatoes for slices of tomato. All in all I am not disappointed by what I ate. I did not bring snacks for the airplane but I will likely try to buy some nuts at the connecting airport. I do not want to be stuck on the second airplane hungry.

    Speaking of food and planning: I brought two meal replacements for every day I will be in California. I will still be eating smart, but I am not going to go completely off the program… just a little off the program. I will not be disappointed if I come back to Canada 2-3 lbs. heavier than I was this morning. I will be extremely upset with myself if it is worse than that. I brought the bathroom scale with me to try to keep me honest… to remind me every morning that I am not going to let myself go.

    It was a brisk morning in the Greater Toronto Area but the forecast for Los Angeles is sunny and mid-70s. It will be a lovely week, and I am looking forward to seeing my wife tomorrow… and all of my friends while I am there.

    Have a great day folks!