Losing a part of me

Tag: Food

  • Day 27: Back on track (ish…)

    As I wrote in this journal yesterday, it was my intention to eat a slice of pizza at Lodge. That did not happen as all of the pizza had meat on it, primarily pork I would assume. My diet is a convenient with myself which I can break and only break my word to myself. Breaking my word with G-d is another story. When the Lodge sat down to eat I took my leave and went home to enjoy a bowl of soup. It worked out.

    I got hungry later in the evening while I was at the bar, and I did not think I had another meal replacement in the car. I decided to order a salad which grilled chicken, and asked them to go light on the dressing. I think I did pretty well, considering it was absolutely a cheat.

    My weight this morning dropped back to where it was Thursday. I am relieved that additional salad did not hurt my progress. In order to hit my goal of fifty pounds by the end of November, I have to drop another seventeen pounds, and I have twenty-three days to achieve it. Unfortunately, there are two turkey dinners in there – one for a Lodge that I am visiting on Tuesday, another for a Friendsgiving dinner for my Jewish group. I will do my absolute best to eat in moderation, but assuming that I gain three pounds (combined) from those two cheat days, I have 23 days to lose 20 lbs. which is not going to be easy… but as I said, I set lofty goals, and if I lose 47 and not 50 then I will absolutely consider it a success.

    I have a few things going on today, but nothing that should involve eating. If I decide to have another salad for dinner this evening then I will not feel guilty about it. We will see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 25 – Lucky or not?

    I picked up my date last night and we drove to the restaurant which had me worried because of my diet. I am glad that I planned ahead, but in fact there were not a lot of opportunities for me to fall off my diet.

    We had dinner at a seafood restaurant. To be clear, this was not surf and turf… this was sink or swim. My date ordered something very not kosher, with an appetizer of something else VERY not kosher. Nothing to tempt me. I ordered the salad with grilled salmon with balsamic vinaigrette. Perhaps they were a bit heavy on the dressing, but it was fine.

    After dinner we went to another spot to enjoy a cigar, and she had another drink. At some point she ordered a piece of pecan pie. I was not at all tempted by it, even though she bragged about how delicious it was.

    On my way home I was hungry so I decided to stop in at the supermarket to get some almonds. My hand slipped and instead of dispensing a handful of nuts, I got something like two pounds worth in the bag. I picked up a different bag and dispensed the right amount. I tried to give the huge bag to the cashier, but she told me that they couldn’t resell them, so I was free to take them. I now have a huge bag of almonds in the pantry… which I do not particularly want. I’ll rephrase: I want… but shouldn’t have. Almonds in moderation are a good occasional snack, but they should not be a regular part of my diet.

    My weight was still down this morning… but only by a couple of ounces.

    This evening I am going to a Lodge meeting and will try to not eat.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 23… Yawn

    I had what I thought of as an attempted cheat yesterday. I was sitting at my cigar lounge and got peckish. I went to the fridge to grab a couple of pieces of cheese that I’d been snacking on the previous days and was denied! The tray from Friday evening’s event was gone. While that may have been disappointing in the moment, it worked out well for my program.

    As I sat in the bar with my friends, they ordered chicken wings which was not a great temptation for me. I did, however, gratefully accept the celery (including the extra celery) that they got with their order, as well as one carrot stick. They were tasty, they were crunchy, and as far as satiety they were almost but not quite entirely useless. Fortunately, I had a meal replacement bar in my car which I got, and had my fifth and final meal replacement of the day.

    I should mention that as I was lying in bed late last night, I was quite hungry. I thought about doing something about it… I did not. I tossed and turned for a couple of hours before finally getting up and taking a shower and a melatonin gummy. I watched television for an hour, and then I finally nodded off. I slept well for the four hours I had left before my alarm kicked me out of bed. Yes, I am tired today. No, I am not falling asleep.

    I will not consider the celery and the one carrot stick as a cheat. I got lucky with the cheese. All in all, yesterday was a successful day. My weight did drop this morning, albeit not very much… a couple of ounces at best. a little drop is better no drop. I’ll take it!

    Tomorrow evening is going to be another date night, and I will have to be careful about what I order. She is picking the restaurant, and I will have to stay adamant on my ordering. As for this evening, there is a Montreal Canadiens hockey game, so you know I’ll be watching that.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 16 Challenges

    I did not manage my caloric intake very well yesterday, and I paid the price. I know what I did… I had my lunch meal replacement at the normal hour, and then because I had been doing so on previous days, I doubled up and had a second meal replacement. The only problem with that is on the previous days, my lunch meal replacement was at least two hours late, and so by having two packages at 2:30pm, I could then have my fourth at 6:00pm, and a fifth and final mean replacement at 9:30 or 10:00pm. Instead, I ended up having my lunch meal replacements (plural) around 12:00pm, and then the fourth at 3:30pm and the fifth around 6:30pm; as I sat outside on the balcony chatting with my son, I realized I was hungry. I did not do anything about it – I maintained my streak of not cheating at all – and lived with the slight hunger until I went to bed.

    I have a lot of studying to do today and tomorrow – I have an exam that I need to take in order to be certified in time to teach the class Tuesday morning, and then I have another exam to sit Monday. Some of that work will be done from home, some from my cigar lounge. My evening will be spent at my local bar watching my hockey game (Montreal is playing in St. Louis). I am not sure if it will be on the big screen, or if I will have to watch it on my iPad… but I will be watching the game.

    I think today I am going to try to stick to a normal schedule of spreading out the meal replacements, rather than having two in the early afternoon. I suspect that is a smarter way to do things. I’ll have my lunch (the second MR of the day) at noon, then I can have another at 3pm, 6pm, and 9pm. Hopefully that will regulate my cravings.

    Have a great day folks!

  • 2026 Day 24

    One day I will be able to write about what stress and anxiety I have been going through, and how yesterday played a part. I will be able to explain why I had to make the 90 minute drive into Toronto, and after twelve minutes I turned around and drove home… having accomplished my goal. I will be able to explain why I lay in bed last night realizing that my stress was not over because of that, but it had shifted to the next phase of it. That will not be today.

    It was because of so much of what happened yesterday that I had a meal… but even knowing that I was going to cheat, I was good. I did not order Chinese food; I did not go to the pub and order Buffalo wings. I went to the supermarket, I picked up chicken and challah rolls, and I had an early afternoon Shabbat dinner. I added to the chicken and challah a side of rice which I had in the house.

    It is because of that meal – a cheat to be sure, but worse for the carbohydrate and starch-heavy side dishes – that my weight was up this morning. I gained two full pounds from yesterday.

    This morning is my Lodge monthly breakfast for men’s mental health, and I will go after I press Publish on this journal entry. I will not order my usual French toast, rather I will order an omelette. It is still not on my program, but it is healthier than so many things I might do.

    After breakfast, I am meeting with my old diet buddy. We have not seen each other in over a year, but as we are both getting back on track we decided to support each other. I am not dropping my new diet buddy, I have the cycles for two. I am looking forward to seeing my old friend.

    Have a great day folks.

  • 2026 Day 3

    Irrelevant to my progress, I realized yesterday after I published my daily entry that I had already used the title Day 1, Day 2, etc… and so in order to make things clear, I am changing the titles. Today’s year-Day is not set in stone, but it’s what I came up with for now.

    I cheated yesterday. It took me less than 48 hours to fall off the wagon. Fortunately, it was not a terrible fall. After my third meal replacement I went out to visit with friends. On my way there I realized I was very hungry, and I did not want to arrive at their place and see temptations on the table. I stopped off and bought a handful of peanuts, which I ate in the car as I drove down there.

    When I arrived I realized that I had absolutely made the right decision. Before I even sat down, I was told that there were delicious fried chicken wings over here, and sour gummies over there. Less than an hour earlier I was speaking with my new diet buddy and she told me that a cup of celery per day was allowed on the program. With that knowledge, I took two spears of celery from the bowl of crudités before sitting down to light my cigar. Despite the temptations that were everywhere, I did not indulge.

    I had told my diet buddy that I was not going to start integrating celery into my program, but I am beginning to rethink that decision. I am going to reevaluate that decision. I have not made a decision yet, but I will think about it. I do have to go to the supermarket today to pick up a quart of milk for my coffee, and depending on how I feel (and how they look in the produce section) I might pick up a celery. We shall see.

    It is important to point out that while other vegetables might be healthy, celery is probably the lowest calorie vegetable per volume, with a medium stalk containing six (6) calories. There is a myth that we burn more calories than that when eating it which is untrue, but it is still a very healthy way to get full (and get more dietary fibre) without any of the negative contents (carbohydrates, starches, sugars) that I am trying to avoid.

    Aside from milk and celery, I also need to fill my propane tanks if I have any plans to smoke on the balcony this week. While the forecast high temperatures will be above zero through Thursday, there might be wind which would make that uncomfortable… but in case it is not, I would like to have the option. I am seldom tempted to snack when I am smoking a cigar.

    I remembered yesterday that one of the most important things to remember when dieting is to drink a lot of water. I was negligent on that on Thursday, but yesterday I refilled my 30oz bottle at least three times throughout the day. It might have been four. I do know that I spent a lot more time running to the latrine than I usually do. I will try to keep that up. The weekend might be more challenging because I do not think about it, but during the week while I am teaching it will be easier. I will make a point of trying to drink at least two litres every day, which is a little more than sixty-five ounces. During the week when I am teaching that will be easier, but I am already at least a third of my way there this Saturday afternoon. Not too bad!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1287

    Phew! My weight dropped this morning… even though my bowels did not. Okay scratch that – for the third day in a row, I was able to move my bowels… but only after starting this paragraph. My weight dropped from yesterday, but it did not change pre- to post-movement. Nonetheless, it is down this morning… and down is good. I am now only three pounds heavier than I was the day my world started to fall apart. That was April 1.

    My sleep score last night was way down – a 67, which is still classified as Fair by my fitness watch. I suppose my 5:45am alarm clock had something to do with that. I am glad that I got an early start, and hope to sleep better tonight.

    When I got into the car to drive down to Grimsby yesterday, I realized I still had some peanuts left from the previous day. It was not a lot, and I nibbled on them as I drove. My other cheat for the day was as good a cheat as I can think of… after our meeting at the café (where I had a cup of decaf coffee and a glass of water), the guys insisted we go to the pub – we were not quite done speaking, and the café was closing. As everyone else was ordering their food, I had what I think was a funny dialogue with the waitress. I asked her if they served chicken wings. They do. I asked if they served them with crudités (celery and carrots) on the side. They do. I asked for a plate of that… hold the chicken. She laughed, asked if I wanted the ranch dressing, and then when she brought the food she brought me a plate of celery and carrots. Perfect. drizzled some white vinegar on them and munched down as my table mates ate French fries and whatever other wonderful yet forbidden foods they ordered.

    Today is the first day of a three day class that I am sitting through so that I can teach it starting next week. It should be three easy days for me, as I am intimately familiar with the subject matter. Nonetheless, I am going to pay attention and do my best! 🙂 I believe the last classes I sat through as a student were for two of the three ISC2 certifications – one of which I have, the other I am still waiting for final approval… but I passed the exam, and that was the hard part.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 993

    I know that when I step onto the bathroom scale tomorrow morning it is going to be bad. I am dreading what the number says, but all I can do is plan to eat better and smarter once I am home. In the meantime I have one more day on the road to face, and I will do my best to eat better.

    I already wrote that I ate bagels and cream cheese for breakfast yesterday. For lunch I ate a small hamburger with some nachos and guacamole. Throughout the afternoon I snacked on an assortment of nuts and dried fruits from a melange that my client and her daughter were having, but I do not think I did too badly with those.

    Dinner. Sigh. I ate better than I had the previous evening, but that is not difficult. My host wanted to eat at Olive Garden. I ordered the soup and salad and breadsticks. I ate an entire bowl of the salad (huge bowl, but not awful), two bowls of minestrone soup, and two breadsticks. I suppose I did not actually do too bad, but I made the mistake of not asking for them to go light on the dressing.

    This morning my host went out to get bagels again. had they not got them with lox (smoked salmon) and cream cheese then I could have resisted. As it stands I am pleased with myself for not eating more than one of them… and for eating slightly less cheese for having shared it with the dog.

    This morning I have a couple of hours of work to do before heading to the airport. The airport in Portland is not huge, but as with every other North American airport will have myriad ways for me to falter in my eating. I just have to be careful. My connection in Philadelphia is extremely short and I am not going to have the time to eat anything… unless I miss the connection which is a real possibility. I am crossing my fingers that I do not.

    Dinner will be at home! I am not picking HRF Princess Sophie up until tomorrow evening so I will not be forced to walk. I will try to get some walking in at the airport once I am through the security checkpoint.

    Tomorrow things will be back to normal! Phew. I used to love traveling for work. Now? Well, maybe less so.

    Have a great day folks!