Losing a part of me

Tag: Nutrition

  • 2026 Day 17

    I woke up today a whole new man. What a difference a good night sleep makes! According to Garmin:

    • Sleep score: 91 (Excellent)
    • Duration: 8h57m (Excellent)
    • Stress: 15 avg (Good)
    • Deep: 1h21m (Fair)
    • Light: 5h41m (Good)
    • REM: 1h55m (Good)
    • Awake/Restlessness: 4m, 37 Restless Moments (Excellent)

    I suspect that I was probably asleep earlier than that, but I am not going to complain. I woke up at 7:00am to pee, and then rather than staying up (as I usually would at 7:00am) I got back into bed and slept another 95 minutes. Princess Sophie did not mind at all… and after the week I had, I really needed it!

    I did not eat well this week, which started with my Day 13 Chinese Food debacle. The following day I ordered Shawarma… a better choice than General Tao Chicken to be sure, but still a terrible aberration from what anyone who is trying to lose weight should be eating. I weighed myself that afternoon and was five pounds up from the previous day! I thought that with eating the rest of the week (including that shawarma dinner later that evening) my weight would be a little bit up from there this morning, but in fact it was down… albeit by just over one pound. Progress is progress, and what is important is that I get back on track. I have enough chicken left to make one more meal which will be this afternoon, and as of tomorrow I will be back on my meal replacements only for the foreseeable future. I have to continue to lose.

    The one upside to eating this week is that I have had a number of healthy bowel movements. As much of a relief as those may be, I would rather see my relief on the bathroom scale… and eventually in how my clothes fit me.

    Have a great weekend folks!

  • 2026 Day 3

    Irrelevant to my progress, I realized yesterday after I published my daily entry that I had already used the title Day 1, Day 2, etc… and so in order to make things clear, I am changing the titles. Today’s year-Day is not set in stone, but it’s what I came up with for now.

    I cheated yesterday. It took me less than 48 hours to fall off the wagon. Fortunately, it was not a terrible fall. After my third meal replacement I went out to visit with friends. On my way there I realized I was very hungry, and I did not want to arrive at their place and see temptations on the table. I stopped off and bought a handful of peanuts, which I ate in the car as I drove down there.

    When I arrived I realized that I had absolutely made the right decision. Before I even sat down, I was told that there were delicious fried chicken wings over here, and sour gummies over there. Less than an hour earlier I was speaking with my new diet buddy and she told me that a cup of celery per day was allowed on the program. With that knowledge, I took two spears of celery from the bowl of crudités before sitting down to light my cigar. Despite the temptations that were everywhere, I did not indulge.

    I had told my diet buddy that I was not going to start integrating celery into my program, but I am beginning to rethink that decision. I am going to reevaluate that decision. I have not made a decision yet, but I will think about it. I do have to go to the supermarket today to pick up a quart of milk for my coffee, and depending on how I feel (and how they look in the produce section) I might pick up a celery. We shall see.

    It is important to point out that while other vegetables might be healthy, celery is probably the lowest calorie vegetable per volume, with a medium stalk containing six (6) calories. There is a myth that we burn more calories than that when eating it which is untrue, but it is still a very healthy way to get full (and get more dietary fibre) without any of the negative contents (carbohydrates, starches, sugars) that I am trying to avoid.

    Aside from milk and celery, I also need to fill my propane tanks if I have any plans to smoke on the balcony this week. While the forecast high temperatures will be above zero through Thursday, there might be wind which would make that uncomfortable… but in case it is not, I would like to have the option. I am seldom tempted to snack when I am smoking a cigar.

    I remembered yesterday that one of the most important things to remember when dieting is to drink a lot of water. I was negligent on that on Thursday, but yesterday I refilled my 30oz bottle at least three times throughout the day. It might have been four. I do know that I spent a lot more time running to the latrine than I usually do. I will try to keep that up. The weekend might be more challenging because I do not think about it, but during the week while I am teaching it will be easier. I will make a point of trying to drink at least two litres every day, which is a little more than sixty-five ounces. During the week when I am teaching that will be easier, but I am already at least a third of my way there this Saturday afternoon. Not too bad!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1306

    I need to get back on track. This morning I was disgusted by the ground lost on the bathroom scale… or I supposed I should say last night. I was in bed by 5:30pm but never fell asleep. I might have gotten 20-30 minutes of sleep at some point, but I forced myself to stay in bed with my eyes closed until 11pm or so, at which point I got up and showered and shaved and got ready for the day. My very unpleasant encounter with the bathroom scale was therefore around 11:30pm.

    I do not know how long it will take for my new meal replacements to arrive, and I do not know what to expect when it does. My daily caloric intake on my usual ones is 900 calories spread across four 225 calorie shakes. These products are, as memory serves, 150 calories each, which means that to keep cadence I will be on six products per day until the other ones are available again. I can live with that. I am excited and reticent at the same time knowing that these are not all the same old shakes… which I do actually like and do not find boring. These are different types of chips and cookies and things like that. If they are really good then I will have to remember to maintain my self-control and not over-indulge.

    It is 8:45am and yes, I am exhausted, but the hardest part of my class is over. I have no more lecturing to do today – they are doing practice exams all afternoon. In just over two hours the class will be over for the day. I have to run to the post office, but other than that I can come home and relax. Hopefully with my current level of exhaustion I will get to sleep for real this afternoon.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1299

    As I lay in bed unable to sleep from 5:30pm until I did something about it around 8:00pm, I believe I learned an important lesson. While it is not good for my weight loss progress to overeat, it is also bad for me to undereat. Yesterday I was thinking about other things, and by the time I got into bed I had only eaten two meal replacements. For all of the people who have told me that my usual 900 calories per day is unhealthy (despite what the medical professionals have told me), I know that 450 calories is a bad idea. I tell my student all the time that good and bad are subjective. Objectively, without judgement, undereating prevents me from falling asleep. Last night was the second night in the last week that I consumed significantly fewer than my normal 900 calories, and it was the second time that I could not fall asleep. Eventually I got out of bed and had another meal replacement, bringing my daily total to 675 calories. I still had difficulties falling asleep, but I got back into bed and rested until I did. I might have gotten two hours of sleep… but I doubt it. I will take a nap this afternoon.

    I am back to teaching ridiculous hours, which means that my weigh-ins are going to be at crazy hours. Well, that is not fair… I will be working from 1:30am until noon, which means that I will be weighing myself around 1:00am every weekday for the next two weeks. That began this morning, and my weight was exactly what it was yesterday morning at my regular time. Considering the lack of sleep and no bowel movements, I am not displeased with that. For the next ten weekdays I will weigh myself at the same time, and will hopefully continue to see my weight drop.

    I have written about this before, but I was reminded of it today. I hate food commercials. When I am trying to lose weight and to maintain my discipline it is just evil to show me wonderful tasty and extremely unhealthy foods which I love, crave, and absolutely cannot eat. It is not only TV commercials, it is also billboards, TV shows and movies, TikTok and Facebook reels… you get the picture. I want it all! I am also aware just how guilty I felt yesterday morning when I realized that the ground I had lost was because of those stupid onion rings. However tempting it is, it is a temporary satisfaction followed by days of guilt and self-loathing. That does not mean that I like the temptation. Seeing those ads is not easier for knowing that I would hate myself if I succumbed to temptation. I am not saying that anyone is guilty – freedom of expression extends to ads – I am just saying that when I am trying to lose weight I hate it.

    So far I have stuck to the plan for the day… at 1:00am I had my first meal replacement, and while I am starting to feel hungry (itis currently 5:15am) I will be able to make it through to my lunchtime – after I walk Princess Sophie. By my calculations that should have me enjoying that second shake in 90 minutes. I am drooling with anticipation!

    Okay, it is time for me to get back to work. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1298

    I wrote yesterday that when I fell off the wagon on Friday, I bought enough chicken and vegetables for two days, in addition to a challah. What I forgot to mention (and this was a complete blank on my part – that’s what sleep deprivation can do) is that I also bought from the prepared food counter (never a good destination for a dieter) a container of onion rings. It was because I had forgotten about this major transgression that I had a bit of trouble accepting that my weight jumped two pounds day-over-day. Worse, I had gained 3.6 lbs. in four days. As soon as I remembered that, it all made sense.

    I weighed myself twice this morning – once before taking Princess Sophie for her walk, and once after we got home; I had made coffee, I had prepared my meal replacement shake, I had sat down at the computer, and I had even typed in the first couple of sentences of this article before the urge hit. A productive bowel movement was just what the doctor ordered. Not only do I feel better, but instead of the .2 lb. drop from my first encounter with the bathroom scale, the drop from yesterday is now 1.4 lbs.; that is a good start, but I still have 2.2 lbs. from what I weighed five days ago.

    Yesterday was the first day in a month that I did not have a single meal replacement. For breakfast, I had challah with margarine. When I was finished eating, I removed the remaining challah from the bag… and threw it in the garbage. Just having it around would be too tempting. Around 2:30 I prepared the remaining chicken and salad. After running an errand, I picked up a handful of peanuts, and four dried peaches. That was it. I am done.

    This morning is not a new Day 1. Rather, it is Day 32… knowing that I fell off for two of those days.

    In addition to being able to void my system, I can also brag this morning of a wonderful night sleep. According to my fitness watch, my sleep score of 92 is the result of 8h55m of balanced and optimal sleep stages. After the last week, as well as knowing what is ahead of me, I am relieved. It was very much needed!

    It is going to be a beautiful day today… hot and sunny, with a high of 32°. I will spend most of the day at my computer preparing for my class which starts tomorrow… or should I say because of the time zone shift… at 2:00am tonight. That means that for Day 1 (which is tonight) I need to be online at 1:00am. Yes, I have now set my alarm for 12:30am for tomorrow, and 1:00am for the rest of the week… and the next week. Oh what fun we will have! I have friends who work the night shift on a regular basis, so I have nothing to complain about. I actually enjoy it to a degree… but the transition can be less than fun.

    The course that I am teaching is a very advanced cybersecurity class, and I am really looking forward to it. This will be the first time I have taught the course, thus why I will spend the day going over the material and the labs. It will be exhilarating to be sure… but every time I teach a new course – especially one at this level – I get a bit nervous. Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance, right? That’s my plan.

    My plan for the week is to stay on my program… and to try to shift my circadian rhythm for the fortnight. In other words: When I wake up at 12:30am it will be my early morning. After getting dressed I will have my breakfast shake… let’s call that 1:15am. When my class breaks for lunch I will take Princess Sophie for her walk, and on my return I will have my midday meal replacement… we should get back from that walk at around 6:45am. Class ends at 11:00am, and I will spend the next 30 minutes reading and answering emails. I will probably need until noon to deal with everything else that is on my plate. At that point I will have meal replacement number three. I have a few things to deal with in the afternoon, but by 4:30pm I should be able to have my fourth and final meal replacement. I will take Princess Sophie out for our second walk of the day, and when we get home it will be time to go to sleep so that I can hopefully get seven good hours of it.

    That is the goal. Will I be able to stick to it? I do not know. I always underestimate the challenges posed by the transition from a diurnal to a nocturnal lifestyle. All I know is that I will do my best.

    Speaking of doing my best… it’s time to hit the books. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1285

    I hate these days when my weight creeps up a few ounces. I know that I should not, and that it is about the trend and not lines on the graph, but please…

    For the second time in a week I started my article in frustration, and then before finishing a paragraph I felt the urge, and was able to void my bowels and then re-weigh myself. Rather than being up by .6 lbs., my weight is now .2 lbs. down from yesterday. Phew! Rather than falling back to less than that 25 lbs., I crept a couple of ounces down.

    My sleep score dropped to a 72 last night. It is not because I was up too late (I was in bed by 11:30pm). I remember lying in bed worrying about all sorts of things that I am dealing with. It is not always about my weight loss… or even always about personal problems!

    It is interesting that when I am not on the program, my bowels are almost scarily predictable… nine days out of ten I have a successful bowel movement as part of my morning routine before I walk Princess Sophie. Since I have been on the program (and each of the previous times as well) it has been much less predictable – sometimes it is in the same morning routine, sometimes later in the day, and of course, sometimes it just does not happen in a day. That is not surprising since I am simply not eating any solid food. Days like today, however, throw things off a bit because normally I would be weighing myself once in a day, and that is usually before 8:00am, but certainly within thirty minutes of waking up. This morning I stepped onto the scale at 7:49am… and then again at 9:04am, definitely not within that half hour.

    My son the elder came over yesterday afternoon. It is likely the last time that I will see him before he drives down to the USA to begin his Master program. It was wonderful to see him, and while I do not see him nearly as often as I would like, at least he has been a quick twenty-minute drive from me. Now he will be 1,200km from here… with an international border to contend with along the way. When he called me a few days ago, he thought we might go for dinner. Once I told him that I was on my diet, he was satisfied coming over for a drink. The only violation of my program was a dram of whisky, which was quite tasty. I know that alcohol is not good for any diet – both because of nutritional values, but also because they lower your inhibitions, and you are more likely to eat. I did none of that.

    I have a lot to do but my mind is all over the place. I am going to take a breath and hopefully get some work done before I have to leave around 2:30pm.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1155

    I briefly considered reweighing myself after I had a second (and more productive) bowel movement after Princess Sophie and I came in from our walk. I decided not to simply because I had a large glass of water, and I am trying to stay focused on the downward trend and not the individual plots on the weight loss graph. As such, we weight this morning remained constant with what it was yesterday. Tomorrow morning it will be lower than it is today… as long as I stay true to my program.

    I have been feeling hunger in the afternoon and evening, and am trying to remind myself that there is a difference between actual hunger and my stomach reminding me that I am not giving it as much food as it is accustomed to. I am having a small plate of pasta with olive oil and some cheese at lunch, but in the morning, and then after my class I am only having shakes. I knew yesterday that if I did not prepare a meal replacement shake during my mid-evening break I would likely not have been able to make it through the class, and that would not be good for anyone.

    I know I am impatient and that the weight will continue to come off, but I am really hoping it happens sooner rather than later. I am sick of wearing the one vest that fits me and I am tired of having to select the shirts that are not too tight. I realize that if I am going to continue eating pasta in the afternoon I will not experience extreme drops every day, but I need to make it through this week and next… and the boxes of spaghetti that were in my pantry are not cheating on the no groceries plan. I remember every truism that I have told myself over the last three years and am going to continue to try… and I will get there. Eventually.

    Have a great day folks.