Losing a part of me

I am doing terrible in life, but my weight loss is not so bad. After the terrible numbers yesterday morning, this morning they were almost back to where they had been Thursday. This, despite my eating the challah yesterday evening.

I am intentionally not writing about some of the worst trauma and anxiety I am suffering these past few weeks. The probably diagnosis from my new therapist gives me hope that I can get better, but it might be too late to save me. I am going to try my best, but I cannot lie… last night as I sat smoking my cigars, I had a bottle of scotch on the table. I spent the evening trying to remember that getting drunk will not only not solve my problems, but will also hinder my weight loss.

I don’t want to go on but I cannot give up. It is a terrible feeling. This Sabbath has brought me no peace, no joy… only misery and anxiety. Tomorrow evening we light the Chanukah candles for the first night, but I don’t see it being any better.

Have a great day folks.