Losing a part of me

I was terrible yesterday… or at least I cheated and had to pay the price for it this morning. I could not ignore my hunger in the late afternoon, and I went down to my car to get the rest of the peanuts I had purchased the previous day. I left them in the car for precisely the reason that I did not want them around me; they may have been out of sight, but they were not out of mind. They did not satisfy me, so I prepared for myself another omelette.

I told Leslie later on that I was disgusted with myself. How is it that I can have such utter lack of discipline and control? Yes, there are a number of things in the house that would have been worse for me, but I have to be able to focus and stay on course. She did her best to cheer me up, but I went to bed angry with myself.

I woke up this morning another .4 lbs. heavier than I was yesterday morning.

I am going the wrong way. I need to focus, stay mindful, and fight these cravings! I need to remember that the brief satisfaction will lead to emotional distress, not to mention the fact that it is no way to lose weight.

I will try to do better today. I will do better today.