Losing a part of me

Yesterday was not an easy day for me. It was the thirty-year anniversary of the day I was conscripted into the Army. There are so many memories, so many friends, so many regrets. Everything came right into my consciousness shortly after I woke up, and there I was right until I fell asleep.

I actually tried to sleep a few times yesterday. I lay down for a nap at 10:45am, but did not manage to get to sleep. I rested for a while but eventually decided to get up and try to go about my day. I tried a few hours later, once again abandoning hope because sleep just would not come. I did get some rest, as well as cuddle time with a doggie… but no sleep. My sleep last night, following the new element that I added to my evening routine, was a little better… I slept a bit over seven hours, and my sleep score was 78. My body battery was up to 73 this morning, and a few hours after waking up it is back down to 58. Reasonable considering the walk with my dog.

I am going to spend an hour on the treadmill once this article goes live, and then I have to head out to Grimsby for a meeting. Without traffic that will be about a 30-minute drive. I am excited about what I will be doing, but it is not for publication. My only goal with regard to my plan is to stick with it… I have been doing pretty well this week, and I need to stick to it.

I told Leslie last night that I had decided that this morning my weight would drop below the terrible mark. Of course, this is a silly thing to say; even when I do everything right in a day, it is impossible to be sure that my weight would drop… let alone so significantly (my weight yesterday morning was 301.4). As I got ready to step onto the bathroom scale, I was silently hoping to see a success… and I did. Of course, the fact that my weight had dropped below the horrible mark does not mean that it will stay there… I have to stay on track today, and even if I do that does not mean that the fluctuations will not bring the numbers up again. I have to remember that weight loss has to be about the downward trend, and not about the individual points on the graph.

Today is the first cold day. When I was getting dressed to take HRF Princess Sophie out this morning, the weather app on my phone read -3° (Feels like: -13°). Knowing that such a difference between actual temperature and ‘feels like’ means that it is very windy, I eschewed my regular sleeveless vest in lieu of my actual winter jacket. I was pleased that it kept me warm… although my extremities (mostly my hands) were still feeling it; yes, I have a great pair of gloves… but I have to remove them to pick up after doggie, as well as to pause my audio book every time another dog-parent approaches. As for the Princess, she still looks at me some days as if to say ‘Yeah, when we met in California and I agreed to be your doggie… this is not what I signed up for!’ Of course, she still does not like wearing her coat. It is interesting that none of my kids particularly like coats either.

Have a great day folks!