Losing a part of me

My weight did not drop below the terrible mark this morning, but it is closer than it has been since before Christmas. Another really good day and I just might hit it. More likely, if I am good for another couple of days, then I should drop below the mark.

I have been in a rut these last few days. I wouldn’t say that I am actually depressed, but I am certainly feeling the blues. I don’t know what is causing it, but it could be in part due to my finances… and of course in part because of the fact that my wife and I live in different countries and sometimes it makes me feel like I am a terrible husband. I am really hoping that I get my visa soon because this is really hurting me. I know that work is picking up – not this week but the following I teach my first class in nearly two months – and that my finances will pick up. As for the visa issue… It has been a very long time and while there are days that I am optimistic, there are also days (like the last few) when I wonder if it might never happen, and I am doomed to never live with my wife. It is disheartening and it really brings me down. How I have managed to not binge-eat all week and gain ten pounds… I just don’t know.

My sleep score last night was lousy again… or at least it was below 65. I really do need to try to get more consistent sleep. Sigh.

My knee seems to be better today. I am going to take a slow turn on the treadmill and see how it feels. I am not going to overdo it… Maybe I will walk 2-3 kilometres. We will see. Today is the last reasonably warm day before the temperatures drop to the minus double-digits for the week. That means the following:

• Walking with Princess Sophie twice a day will not be fun
• It will be too cold to sit on the balcony with a cigar (although I might still go to friends’ houses to smoke)
• The change in weather will likely not be great for my of late ache-prone body.

With that said… how amazing would it be to drop back below the terrible mark in the next few days?

I am going to try to relax this weekend. I was asked to go to a Lodge event (for another lodge) but decided to stay home. We will see about this evening.

Have a great day folks.