Losing a part of me

I have been fooling myself to think that I have not been in a funk. The stress over waiting for that piece of paper to come in, and then of having to reschedule the appointment (as I wrote about recently) have masked the fact that, now that I have the paper, and now that I have been able to reschedule the appointment, the same stresses and anxieties that crippled me leading up to the original appointment (a month ago) are now once again very real. They were, and are again, debilitating. I am going to figure a way to work through them, but the bottom line is that the next three weeks will not be that different from the month of January and the first week of February.

Sigh. And through this I need to lose weight. I’ll be happy if I keep my weight steady where it is.