Losing a part of me

Author: Mitch Garvis

  • Day 1040

    I was a bit surprised to see that my weight was up slightly this morning, but not terribly so. Today I will be eating the last of the chicken that I have in the house, and starting tomorrow I will be eating breakfast and then only meal replacements for the rest of the day. If my knee holds out I will also start walking. In fact, It looks to be a pretty nice day out today (albeit chilly), so I may go for a walk after my appointment.

    I do not know if this is the time that I will start and get all the way to my goal weight, but I am going to try. To that end, I printed a new fridge chart to encourage me. I have to do more than print papers though; I need to redouble my efforts and make it happen. I have to stop eating but more than that I need to stop cheating. I need to change my attitude toward food, and I need to once and for all break the unhealthy relationship that I have with food.

    While I am planning to walk outside today (with high temperatures of 7°C (41°F), I just went into my bedroom and cleaned everything off the treadmill. If it is my intention to use it this winter to keep active, then I have to as of right now stop using it to hang clothes. Yes, that stereotype is real… except in my case it will be temporary.

    Yes, I went to the supermarket yesterday. Knowing that I have a meal or two left, I purchased vegetables so that I can have a salad with them. I also bought a handful of trail mix which I should not have done… but I also thought about buying breakfast cereal and stopped myself. A smaller transgression is better than a larger one.

    I finally got a good night’s sleep. I woke up feeling refreshed, and while my body battery was low from the time I woke up, the 80 on my sleep score was a relief to see. I will try to sleep well again tonight and am hoping that if I do exercise then it will contribute to that.

    When I picked up my prescription meds yesterday, I also took the opportunity to get my Covid-19 and Flu vaccines. I have still had no ill effects and hope this proactive measure will help to keep me healthy.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1039

    I am two pounds closer to the terrible mark this morning than I was yesterday. I was disgusted with myself that I weighed over 305 the last three days, and am really glad that starting tomorrow I am going back to eating breakfast and then meal replacements only.

    I am still not sleeping very well… I took the pill last night but it still took a while to fall asleep. Once I did, I had very weird and disturbing dreams. I will likely be tired today, but I will do my best to not nap so that I will be able to fall asleep at night without medicinal help.

  • Day 1038

    I took a nap yesterday afternoon, and paid for it at night… I could not fall asleep. So this afternoon, after I came back from my busy morning, I did the same thing. I know… that was stupid. I told Leslie that I will probably take a sleeping pill this evening (despite how much I hate doing that) in order to try to get back on track.

    I did not write much yesterday, so I did not write about the previous day; on Thursday when I brought my car in to change my tyres I went for a walk. I walked 5km, thinking I was not making very good time. In fact, I was making very good time, despite the lack of athletic shoes. I am not unhappy that I was doing about 9.5 minutes per kilometre wearing my Blundstones!

    I am still not back on track… but I am working on it. Hopefully today was better than the previous few days, and the numbers on the bathroom scale will reflect as much tomorrow. I also mentioned to Leslie earlier today that for the first time in my memory I am getting bored with chicken. While there are a lot of ways I could address that, I decided that once the chicken I have in my fridge is done, I will go back to two meal replacements per day (plus my usual breakfast). I would like to get down not only under the terrible mark, but much lower. I may not be able to do it over the holidays, but if I can get down to 280 lbs. before Hanukkah they I will be quite happy with myself.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1037

    I do not remember a night when I got worse sleep than I did last night. My sleep score was an abysmal 30, and when I got up to pee at 4:15am I was not able to get back to sleep. I have been dragging arse all day but that is to be expected.

    My weight did not improve from yesterday. It did not move at all. Hopefully tomorrow.

    Have a great day.

  • Day 1036

    Okay, I can try to get back on track now…

  • Dqy 1035

    I did not do very well yesterday again. I just need to get through today and then try to get back on track. In the meantime, I twisted my ankle as Princess and Sophie and I were out this morning. I do not think it is bad, but it is something I need to pay attention to.

  • Day 1034

    Did terrible yesterday. Emotional pain. Paid for it on the scale this morning.

  • Day 1033

    I was disappointed this morning when there was no drop on the bathroom scale. I suppose that when I cannot move my bowels that is more likely to happen. As usual, I took Princess Sophie for her walk, then as I was preparing breakfast I felt the need to go. I had not eaten yet so I was still within my own self-set guidelines, so I stripped down and weighed myself again. I did not recover all of the weight I had gained yesterday morning, but at least I was down half a pound.

    I did not sleep very well and have a packed day today. I will at least try to eat well.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1032

    The bathroom scale can go pound rocks this morning. There is no reason that I can think of why my weight should have been up by two pounds from yesterday. Argh!

    I did a great deal of studying yesterday, and I am confident that I will pass the certification exam I have scheduled for Thursday. In fact, I might try to schedule it for earlier in the week. We’ll see if I can.

    Today was the second day on my full meds, and I am hoping that my knee will not be in pain this week so that I can get some walking in.

    My plans for today are breakfast with a friend, then a cigar with another friend. Later in the afternoon I hope to see my kids and deliver the laptop that I have been preparing for my younger. I will put it in the car so that if I can, I will go straight from Grimsby.

    Have a great day.

  • Day 1031

    Okay… yesterday I was disappointed that I had gained nearly two pounds from the previous day. It was actually a bit over 1.5 lbs., but it is what it is. This morning, I had shed exactly what I had gained. I was relieved that the gain was not permanent. Hopefully I will stay on track today.

    It is already 6:00pm on Saturday and I have had a very productive day. I did several hours of billable work, which will help pay my own bills. Princess Sophie spent several hours with her boyfriend Charlie at the neighbour’s house, and she is now back home resting. I picked up my meds yesterday, and this morning was the first day that I took all three of my pills. Hopefully by tomorrow I will be able to get a good walk in.

    Have a great day folks!