Losing a part of me

Category: Fitness

  • Day 1060

    I was not nearly as disciplined as I needed to be last night, and because of that I am much closer to that horrible mark than I should be. Why is it that after doing well for just a few days I fall off the cliff and cannot stay disciplined?

    Tomorrow is the first day of the week-long class that I am sitting for my next certification that I hope to earn. I will have to be at my computer from 8:30-5:30 every day, so if I do not go shopping and buy any cheats then the only opportunity I will have to cheat badly is at the Lodge’s holiday party Tuesday evening. I will get through it. In the meantime, today’s challenge will begin with taking my son the younger for lunch… most likely to his favourite Lone Star Texas Grill, which means that I will either not eat, or I will be very careful. It is easy to do there because I know that the slightest misstep will cost me. After that, I am going back to their house to work on his computer. It is amusing for me to see my fourteen-year-old son hacking his way through a computer that I am monitoring.

    (Six hours later)

    I am back from lunch, and a lengthy conversation with my ex-wife. We had some issues regarding both of our sons to discuss. Additionally, it seems that some time ago she had DNA profiling done on her and our son the younger. I assume she had it done for our son the elder as well, but as he and I do not share DNA it was not discussed. It came as no surprise that Gilad was just short of 50% Ashkenazi Jew… although there was also a trace (on his father’s side) of Mizrachi, Sephardi, and Georgian Jewish as well. While I cannot say for certain that this is proof that my ancestors were all faithful, it shows that if they did stray then they did so with other Jews.

    The conversation about our son’s computer was interesting. I let her know that children are able to circumvent just about any security that we put on their computers. Knowing that, it is no different than the adversarial side: if the easiest way to hack a system is through social engineering, then that can also be the best way to defend against misuse. During our lunch I let my son know that I can see everything that he does on the computer, and his level of embarrassment shot up to a nine. He promised that he would stop doing what he had been doing while he is supposed to be studying (or when he is in class). As for my ex-wife’s concerns about ‘what is becoming of our little boy’ I reassured her that everything he is doing is perfectly normal and is the 2024 equivalent of when we would sneak out as teens. At least with what he is doing online I can monitor it and keep him safe.

    I may have gotten out of Lone Star Texas Grill without cheating, but when my ex offered me a cookie that she and our son the elder made (and was quite insistent) I could hardly say no. Fortunately I was able to stick to a single cookie. I came home and prepared chicken and salad for lunch. I am letting it digest for a bit, but in the next thirty-minutes (or so) I will be getting onto the treadmill. My current step-count is just shy of 4,000, and yes today is Day 16… I need to hit 11,140 steps before midnight to extend my steps-goal streak to sixteen days which will tie my streak from April last year. If I tie it today, then I can beat it tomorrow… but if I do not then I would have to start over at the beginning.

    On the subject of the steps-goal, I cheated yesterday. No, I did not put my fitness watch into the clothes dryer. What I did was this: I hit my steps-goal before going to the party… and I took my fitness watch off for the evening. I did not want to record 15,000 steps yesterday… that would have adjusted my steps-goal for today way up. As it stands, my daily goal is 11,140 steps, and that is doable… but not easy. I have been having trouble keeping my pace these last few days, so I have slowed to a walk. I do not want to do that today… but I am currently a bit over 7,000 steps from hitting my goal (about 7km) and I would rather reach that goal at a slower pace than miss it at a faster one.

    My body battery was up to a 75 this morning after a sleep score of 83. Neither of those is bad, but I wish I could consistently do better. I might have to research how to do that.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 863

    I admit I was hoping to drop below 276 lbs. this morning, but it was not to be. My weight stayed exactly where it was yesterday… and I have to wait at least another day before I can cross off another number on the fridge chart. I should mention that while my caloric intake and activities were about right yesterday, I was not able to move my bowels this morning. Hopefully that will happen later in the day.

    I knew when I stepped onto the treadmill yesterday that I likely would not be able to jog as far as I had the previous day. I set my goal to jog at least 4km (at a slightly quicker pace), but then to walk another 3km if I could. That would match the distance for the previous day, and almost guarantee that my steps goal streak would be extended. Indeed, it was extended to twelve days, and with the progressive scale of my fitness watch, today’s goal is 15.400 to extend that streak. I would really like to extend it today and tomorrow, giving me a 14-day streak (possibly my best since switching from Fitbit to Garmin nearly five years ago. Of course, knowing what my work schedule looks like next week, that is the extent of what is possible. Monday I am working from 8:30am until 9:15pm, and while it is theoretically possible for me to fit in a workout, it is unlikely. With that, my goal is to hit my 14-day goal streak. I will try to do that by actually going out for a jog this afternoon, but I am not sure yet. It is a beautiful day out, and I think I am caught up on my shows… but I am really enjoying the audio book that I am listening to (Mario Puzo’s The Godfather).

    I stand corrected. My longest goal streak was actually sixteen days… from April 10-25, 2023. That is probably at the peak of my jogging – looking at the record, I see eight workouts of over 10km, and one two-hour jog of 15km! Wow, I would love to be able to get back to that in the next few months. I have my work cut out for me… but in the meantime, I see that my weight in that period fluctuated between 264 lbs. and 253 lbs. … and when I was jogging 15km I weighed about 23 lbs. less than I did this morning. I will get there; I am sure of it!

    My eating yesterday was not great, but I think I did okay with regard to mitigating my lapse. After my post-workout shower, I ate a protein bar, as I said I would. My energy level was still bordering on zero, so I decided to go to the car and eat the break-glass almonds that were there. I did that prior to my class at about 5:15pm. I then prepared my third meal replacement at around 7:45pm. After my class I debated whether or not to prepare the last one and decided that I should not. I was a bit hungry for my last couple of awake hours, but I made it through to bedtime.

    I have a Zoom call in a few minutes with an old friend and colleague who now lives in Prince Edward Island, and then an hour after that I will have a video date with my wife. At 2:00pm my buddy Eduardo is coming over. When he leaves, I will try to go out for my jog. All in all, I have a relaxing but very busy day ahead of me. I guess I should get on with it.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 746

    I am usually very good at doing quick calculations such as miles to kilometres in my head, so I am not sure why I thought that when I hit three miles on the treadmill that would be 5km, but that is when I stopped my run yesterday. It was silly because I then had to calculate that 3mi is 4.83km so that I could properly calibrate my fitness watch. I will do another jog today to confirm that it worked – which would mean that if I ran 3.11mi I would hit my 5km. It is worth noting that according to my Garmin Connect page on my computer, despite my effort to calibrate the watch, yesterday’s treadmill run is still marked as a 5.83km run. I suppose maybe the calibration only takes effect after that run? It does not make any sense, but okay… I’ll see what it records today.

    I ate well yesterday, and my weight dropped nearly another half-pound this morning. While I am disappointed that it was not more of a drop, I should not be surprised. Yes, my horrible cheat-day a few days ago resulted in a nearly three-pound jump. No, I should not expect a couple of good days to reverse that completely. Yes, that has happened often enough… but I am a fifty-one-year-old man and I have to be realistic that my body will not always rebound as I would like it to.

    Speaking of my body rebounding: I was walking with Her Floofness this morning and felt an almost unnoticeable something in my knees. I should not be surprised… or maybe I should be surprised that it was so small. I will keep an eye on them over the next little while; I assume it is just my body reminding me that I am exercising again, and that it is normal to feel aches when working out.

    I have to go to have a test done today. I am going to do it after lunch but before I pick my housekeeper up from the train station. After that, she will be here for a few hours… and then the apartment will be tidy again.

    I guess that means I should think about eating an early lunch… or at least, early enough so that I can be at the clinic by 1pm. I made an appointment to see my doctor on Wednesday, and I should have had this test done last week. Hopefully she will get the results in time. If not? Well, that’s life.

    I am trying to decide if You should bring my bathroom scale to Cuba or not. I will make that decision later… depending on how heavy my suitcase already is. I will not need as much space for my clothes as I once would have, but I am taking a lot of clothes to give to friends, and that will likely completely cram my suitcase. We’ll see when I am packed.

    Speaking of suitcases and Cuba… I remember the last time I left Cuba that one of my cigar tools was confiscated ‘for security reasons.’ In truth, it was because the kid scanning my carryon luggage wanted it for himself. (look up ‘Xikar 011 Twist Punch’ and you’ll see why I am so sure) In any event, I had best remember that when leaving the country, I pack anything even remotely possibly interesting in my checked luggage. I do not want a repeat performance!

    Okay, my lunch is in the air fryer. I would never eat this early, but when there are timing factors as there are today, I do what needs to be done. I do not want to eat later because I want my cleaning lady to completely clean the kitchen.

    Oh wow… it just occurred to me that I won’t have time to get on the treadmill until after she is gone. I guess I could do it while she is here, but then I will have to make sure I am decent both on my way to and from the shower. I’ll think about it.

    That is another thing I have been thinking about… I want to run when I am in Havana. I don’t know how much or how far, and I also know I plan to do a lot of walking while I am there. With that said, if I can do 5-10km jogging a couple of times then I will be a very happy man. We’ll see…

    See you tomorrow folks.

  • Day 429

    After serious thinking and discussion with the woman I love I decided this afternoon that I was going to defrost and prepare a steak. I told Leslie that I wanted to do a really good jog first, but I have been tempted too much these last few days, and I was going to eat smart. I tried to do a 10km jog, but that proved too much. I jogged 7.25km and walked the remaining 3km to get home, which did give me the 10km that I was hoping to achieve. Before I even showered, I jumped into the car to go to the supermarket to pick up some vegetables to make a salad. I came home, showered, got dressed, and prepared my meal. It was delicious! My housekeeper had unearthed a bag of pop chips, and I devoured those as well. That was a terrible decision, but much better to do it with pop chips than with potato chips. Knowing that I had the remaining vegetables in the fridge, I weighed the options of having another cheat day today, or just making another salad in the evening. I opted for the second choice, which I prepared with the last package of smoked salmon that Leslie had given me for my birthday. It was delicious! I hope now that the temptations of fast-food restaurants and deep-fried chicken wings will be behind me. In other words: sorry, not sorry.

    Jogging

    • Distance: 7.25 km (6.02 km)
    • Duration: 57:03 (33:05)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 7m53s (5m29s)
    • Steps: 8,850 (5,065)
    • Calories burned: 754 (720)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 155 (153)

    I am back on track today, but I am starting to realign my thinking. With the tremendous progress that I have made, especially in these last two months of being on the full-fast program (excepting for my trips to Dallas), it might be time for me to start looking at an endgame… a time to start weening myself off the full-fast program, and in fact working toward being off any programs. I have said recently that my intention is to get through two more months on the full-fast (excepting, of course, another trip to Dallas), and then to begin transitioning off the program. That transition might take many forms, and it would not be a quick process, but it is something to start thinking about. I am also thinking, after yesterday’s multi-meal indulgence, that over my last couple of months – that is, between now and when I start transitioning – it might not be so horrible to have a healthy planned cheat meal every two weeks, or every week, or whatever that might end up looking like. I will give it some thought over the next few days.

    I stepped onto the bathroom scale with the full expectation that I would have gained two pounds, taking me back over the 260 lbs. mark. In fact, I gained only .6 lb. which was a much more reasonable result from the decisions I made yesterday. In truth, had I stopped with the steak and salad, I likely would have lost an ounce or two this morning; also, I know the evils of eating late at night, and preparing my fish and salad at 9:30pm was counterintuitive. I am back on track today, and I will recover what little ground I lost in my journey over the next couple of days.

    Today is Friday, March 24th. I am planning to go to the gym today, seeing as the weather will be cloudy and cool. In fact, looking at the ten-day forecast, there will not be too many days that promise enjoyable outdoor running conditions, so I will likely be spending quite a bit of time on the treadmill. As long as I go today, I will be continuing my streak – I have jogged every day since Monday, for a total of 31km jogging. Today will be Day 5 of that streak, and I am planning for at least 10km today. There is a Garmin Connect badge that I would collect if I can do one fifteen-kilometre jog during the month of March, and I might try for that… but I also will not push myself too hard. I have to listen to my body and let pain be my guide.

    I find it hilarious that my gluteus maximus muscles are aching these last couple of weeks; Until a few months ago, my posterior would hurt most often from sitting on it for long stretches of time. Knowing that it is aching because of the tremendous amount of jogging I have been doing makes me want to make them ache more! That is not to say that I have not thought about finding a decent massage place that might be able to make those muscles (and the rest of them) ache less, but that is not my number one priority right now. I am a strange bird in a lot of respects. I consider the aches that I am feeling my body’s penance for neglecting it for so long. While there are days when I take a couple of aspirin (I think I did that one day this week), that has been the extent of my need to deal with any discomfort. Well… that and readjusting how I am sitting a few times!

    There is a song that I remember learning from a buddy who was a sergeant on a base that I served on for a couple of months. Funny, I do not remember his name, but I remember him walking up to where I was standing post and singing ‘Today is Friday… and tomorrow is the Sabbath, the Sabbath for us to rest.’ The thing was that he was singing it to me on a Tuesday, and I kept yelling (in jest) ‘LIAR!’ Well, today really is Friday, and while I do have to teach this evening, tomorrow really is the Sabbath. I will remember the Sabbath as holy as I always do… observing the Fourth Commandment (as it is written in Exodus 20:8. I am afraid that I do not observe the Sabbath Day as holy as the Commandment decrees in Deuteronomy 5:12) by lighting the candles this evening and reciting the blessings and praying for the health of my family and friends. The list of my friends for whom I pray continues to grow, which is sad. I do not mean prayers for general well-being, of course. I mean the list of my friends who are sick. A number of them have cancer and are undergoing treatment for that. Two were in terrible automobile accidents and continue to recover. So many others are going through so many different health-related issues that I sometimes feel guilty that I am, for the most part, in perfect health. I am still obese, but I am not morbidly so as I was. My gout has not bothered me in months (thanks to a pill that I remember to take every morning). My ADHD is under control (thanks to the other pill that I remember to take every morning). When I pray for Sophie and Marty and Sean and so many other friends who are hopefully going to get better I also thank Hashem that I am not in their place. I am truly blessed to be in good health, and I hope going forward to never take that for granted… as I did for so many years by ignoring the importance of a healthy body weight.

    My plans for today are to stay mindful, to stay on track, and to stay focused. A ten (or more) kilometre jog on the treadmill will be nice, but it will not be an excuse to have a second consecutive cheat day. I do have some work to do on my teaching workstation today – I noticed a lot of slowdowns on it recently and decided that refreshing the operating system was just what the doctor ordered. Of course, that also means that I have to reinstall a lot of my applications, and that I have to log on to my class a few minutes earlier than I normally would, just to make sure that all of the tools I need to teach have been reinstalled. While I am on the treadmill I might try to calibrate my fitness watch because I am pretty sure that while it does great when running on the street (it has a great GPS in it), it is not properly calibrated for my pace on the treadmill. I will set a lower pace on the machine, and then try to get it properly calibrated so that my future measurements – as I get more into shape and more into running – will be more accurate. While I do plan to finish my pot of coffee today (and hopefully I will remember to buy more fake milk), I have no plans to consume anything else beyond my meal replacements. If needed, I will also pop a throat lozenge during class. I do not know if the bathroom scale will reflect it tomorrow morning or the next, but my weight loss progress will resume, and I know that what I have been doing is working. I will keep that up!

    I have reached out to my diet buddy who will likely be coming over tomorrow or Sunday for a cup of coffee. Once she confirms which day works better for her I will reach out to my son the younger and I will take him out for lunch the other day of the weekend. I will not be eating with him though… and if he insists on going back to Lone Star Texas Grill then I am going to use it as an opportunity to prove that my resolve is stronger than my desires, and that I do not have to succumb to every temptation. I hope he picks somewhere else though… but I have not seen him in a month, and ultimately it will be his choice. Feigning a stomach virus so that I do not have to order food is not a bad idea, but not eating those chips is more important. I am going to start thinking about that now and will go into whatever restaurant he chooses with the resolve to stay on track.

    Have a great day folks!