Losing a part of me

Category: Girlfriend

  • Day 53

    Saturday was another good day, if not a great diet day. When Ryan called and asked if I wanted to drive out to Cambridge for a cigar, I packed Her Floofness into the car and we drove out there. Three cigars were no problem; the peanuts were not a good choice, but I forgot to bring meal replacements. Glen (Ryan’s dad) insisted I stay for dinner, and as they were having a chicken Caesar salad, I did not see the harm. There was way more dressing on the salad than was strictly necessary, and I was surprised that the lettuce maintained its structural integrity. I also could not resist the homemade garlic bread. All in all, not the worst cheat day… but I have to remember to bring my meal replacements with me when I go out for more than a couple of hours.

    The bathroom scale was once again generous this morning; if it can be trusted, I have lost ten pounds since last Saturday… although how accurate that is I do not know. Still and all, I am feeling a little better than I was. There is one last pair of pants that I have not fit into yet; I think I will try them on this afternoon to see if I am any closer to success with them. They are the last pair in Size 44 that did not fit; once they do, my next goal will be the Size 42 bin! Both of those will be tremendous non-scale victories.

    My sons asked me to take them for brunch today, and so in a few minutes they will arrive here, and we will head out to the restaurant. They generally like a particular chain that is originally from Quebec, but I have grown tired of it over the years. I recommended my regular (pre-diet) breakfast establishment, and after they perused the menu, they both agreed that it would do. I only hope the wait is not too long. The weather is supposed to warm up today, but as we are now (10:00am Sunday morning) my face felt like it was freezing off on the last few minutes of the walk with HRF. Because of the pandemic, when you arrive at the restaurant you give your name, and then you wait outside for them to call you. We would obviously wait in the car, but I am hoping we don’t have to that for too long.

    Leslie and I had another conversation about Cuba last night. She told me originally that she was not going to get too excited about the trip; I suspect she is losing that fight with herself. It probably does not hurt that I keep talking to her about how relaxing the trip will be!

    I am hoping that the weather will warm up enough so that this afternoon I will be able to comfortably sit outside with a cigar, and if it is I have some reading to do to prepare for a conversation I have to have this week. If not, then I will sit inside and do the same reading… it just won’t be quite as enjoyable.

    The kids just walked in so we are heading out. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 52

    Yesterday was a day of positives all around. As expected, I worked for a few hours before starting my weekend a bit early. I had a nice salad, and then I went to pick up a couple of boxes of shakes from someone in Hamilton who was selling them off. I then stopped into Costco to pick up some cans of salmon… and ended up with $200 worth of stuff that I mostly need but some that I do not… I am not sure, for example, what I will ever do with 1000 packets of sweetener. I did buy chicken thighs, and when I returned home, I immediately separated the 27 thighs into Ziplock bags (3 per bag) and put them into the freezer. I bought some vegetables (onions, cucumbers, and tomatoes… and yes, I know they are actually a fruit but shaddup), and a few other things. While the quantities are a bit silly, I won’t have to worry about not being able to sweeten my coffee through the year 2025.

    When I got home, I realized that the two boxes of shakes that I bought (at a slightly inflated price) were actually four boxes of shakes. I texted the woman I bought them from and told her it was an honest mistake, and that I would transfer her the money immediately. She thanked me and refused and told me they were a gift. That was very sweet of her! We had a great conversation while I was there, and it was never my intention to short her. What was originally an inflated price turned out to be a bargain! Suddenly the drive was really worth it, despite the stupid price of gasoline.

    It was a beautiful afternoon. While it snowed all day, it was still reasonably mild. I sat out on the patio and enjoyed two cigars – one in the afternoon (a Partagas Serie D No. 4 from 2019) which was fabulous, and one later in the evening (a Davidoff Robusto Supremo that Leslie brought me in November). I do not remember the order, but during that time I had great video conversations with a couple of friends, with my girlfriend, and with my cousins in Florida. It was mostly positive, except to find out that my buddy and his wife will not be joining Leslie and me on vacation in May.

    Speaking of which, the trip is booked! We are flying out of Toronto the afternoon of May 10, and under four hours later we will be in sunny Varadero, Cuba. Leslie has never been on a truly relaxing, no-obligations, no-stress vacation before, and as I told her last night, I am on a mission from G-d to ensure that she has the greatest week of her life. We will take a daytrip into Habana to see friends and whatnot, but aside from that we will have no obligations beyond relaxation, enjoyment, and fun in the sun. fifty-nine days and counting!

    I got to speak with a buddy in Havana last night, which was also very nice. We will spend a day with him and his girlfriend. He told me that we can send the girlfriends off to shop while we go hunting for cigars. I laughed and told him that if he thinks that then he does not know my girlfriend, who will be every bit as excited hunting cigars as I will be; more, in fact… I’ve done the rounds of Habana cigar shops myriad times, and this will be her first time! You never forget your first time…

    The weather today is not as nice as yesterday, so I do not expect to spend much time on the patio. I might see if a friend wants to smoke in his garage, just to give me something to do today. Otherwise, I will be sitting at home and watching TV on my iPad, which still does not sound like a bad way to spend a lazy day!

    On the weight loss front, I am down a couple of pounds from yesterday! I am excited about that. A buddy asked if I wanted to drive to Niagara for Brazilian Rodizio or Buffalo wings, and I told him that they are both against my diet, and that I need to preserve my figure to fit into my bikini in Cuba. Good for a laugh, but in all seriousness, be mentioned two of my favourite food groups and I turned him down flat. I must be serious about this weight loss thing.

    Tomorrow I am taking my kids for brunch, and I will be eating. I plan to be good – breakfast and brunch are very dangerous meals because of all of the carbs and starches… I will have something good (maybe an omelet or a salad) while my kids eat their hearts out. It is not often that my older son calls me and wants to get together, so I am excited about that.

    There isn’t much else to say… I’m going to take it easy, catch up on my TV, and enjoy the day. I hope you enjoy it too!

  • Day 51

    Despite whatever fears I might have had last night, the bathroom scale was friendly this morning. If I had just weighed myself the once, I had lost four pounds from yesterday. However, knowing that I do not trust my bathroom, I got onto the scale three more times before getting a steady reading of just about half a pound down, which is certainly more reasonable.

    I always feel better after a haircut, but the next morning, after I have washed and shampooed, I feel even better. I know she prefers my hair slightly longer, but Leslie was quite taken by this haircut. Perhaps it was because the barber trimmed and tidied my beard as well… I do it on my own when needed, but I know I am not very good at it. When he does it, I know that the beard looks nice and even.

    I am going to work toward a reasonably easy and relaxing day today. I have a client meeting this morning and will likely have 2-3 hours of work from that. By midday the temperature will be around 0°c, which is about where it is now. The snow is expected to last all day, but that has never stopped me from sitting on my covered balcony with a cigar… or two. I might try to get together with friends over the weekend, but for today I want to just stay home and stay put. I know that Princess Sophie will be delighted if I take a nap with her at some point. It is just going to be one of those days.

    With regard to food, I am defrosting chicken for dinner. I have had a lot of fish over the last few days (including a lovely salmon steak last night, prepared with a dash of salt, a bit too much pepper, and fresh dill), and for the Sabbath meal I will switch back to my old favourite.

    If I can get a definitive answer from my friend T, I will also be booking our trip today. I am crossing my fingers that he takes his fingers out and makes up his mind!

    Have a great day everyone!

  • Day 49 Part 2

    I am up from two weeks ago. Only one pound, but I have to get back on track. I hope I have my head on straight now, and I can refocus my energy on the weight loss plan.

    My doctor asked me what exercises I have been doing, and I told him that because of my feet and my knees I have not been doing anything. He prescribed the colchicine, and hopefully over the next day or two things will start feeling better. As directed, I took two pills immediately, and will start taking one pill every evening before bed. The scrip reads twice daily, but I am going to start slow and see if I actually need two. I will say that it has been only a few hours, and my feet are already feeling much better. Hopefully that is just what the doctor ordered… no pun intended.

    I miss my Leslie, but we were able to chat for an hour as I sat on the patio with a cigar (okay, two of them). My doctor told me that smoking can be bad for your health, but I told him that they save lives. He asked what I meant, and I told him there are several people who I have not punched in the face because of cigars. He laughed, and agrees that if I am not inhaling, and if I need them to stay on track losing weight, then I should not stop. He also suggested that swimming is good exercise… I asked him where he would recommend going with all the pools closed. I think the simple answer to that has been staring me in the face… and tomorrow morning I am going to finally book our trip to Cuba!

    Have a great evening folks!

  • Day 47

    I did not have a good day yesterday either, but I vowed that today would be better. So far, it has been. I know that there was a terrible hit to my mood over the weekend, and I am hoping that it is over. I really want to be back on track, and to be a happy person in general.

    Leslie got her confirmed start date at her new job! I am thrilled about this. She was worried that two discrepancies on her background check might be an issue. I assured her that the two issues were not going to be factors, and the confirmation came today. Unfortunately, the new start date interferes with her next trip here, and the countdown jumps from 14 days to 30 days. We are both up disappointed by that, but the job is a good opportunity, and I do not want her to do anything to jeopardize it.

    It is nearly 1pm, and I have had only my coffee and my morning shake. When I finish writing I will make a salad for lunch, and I should be good for the day – chicken is defrosting for dinner, and I went shopping for more vegetables. No more cheating, as I did so badly over the weekend.

    Yes, I know the weekend was horrible. I promised Leslie yesterday afternoon – and I promised myself – that I would be back on track today. Yes, I slipped. Now it is time to get back to business.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 46

    While today has not been a perfect start to the day, I am going to make it better than yesterday. That is my only goal. It is windy out, but unseasonably warm. I am going to drive over to Lyle and Dorothy’s house for a cigar or two, and probably dinner. It will be good to see my friends. Yes, I was with friends yesterday, but you can never have enough time with friends.

    I only wish my girlfriend could be here too. I am counting down the days!

    As expected, my bathroom scale was up a terrible number this morning. I could not have imagined it would be otherwise; honestly, before I stepped onto it, I predicted the number. I was off by .2 of a pound. It is time to reset. Today, better… tomorrow, better than today. That is the only way to move forward.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 39

    I had another great day with Leslie yesterday, despite her taking a pretty nasty fall. She keeps telling me she is super clumsy, but I don’t know if I believed it… until now. Fortunately, she is okay, and was saved from grievous and possibly catastrophic harm by a teddy bear. There are some things that you just cannot make up.

    While I am only taking very small bites of her omelets in the mornings, I will tell you that both yesterdays and todays came out better than usual. I am not sure what I am doing to make them so much fluffier than they were before, but man they are good. The dill (I have discovered that adding dill to things makes most things better) is an improvement, and she really loves the broccoli that I have started adding, but I added those on Thursday too, and they were nowhere near as fluffy as they were yesterday and today. Since today is the last day that I will be preparing an omelet until she returns in a little over three weeks, we can only hope that whatever it is that I have been doing does not get lost.

    I took Leslie to Costco yesterday. I was a little surprised that she reached her current age (no, I am not going to disclose it… suffice it to say she is much younger than I am) without ever having set foot into a Costco. You would have thought from the lineups that World War Three was starting… and judging from what is going on in Ukraine, it might be. I did not take her there to stock up on toilet paper or bottled water or gumballs. A few months ago, I bought her a pair of garnet and diamond earrings from Costco, and she absolutely loved them. She did not know this when we walked into the store, but I was hoping that they would have a matching pendant and chain. They did, and I bought it for her. She was emotional on a level that I am not sure I expected. It seems her ex-husband felt she was so difficult to shop for that he simply didn’t buy her presents. I find her singularly easy to shop for, and her new pendant matches her favourite earrings perfectly.

    After and before Costco, I took her to get her Covid test. I do not like that she is going home today but knowing that she has a return date in a few weeks makes it a bit better. I love having her here, and even when we have minor disagreements, we are always able to resolve them. She and I sit on the balcony enjoying a cigar and talking about… everything. I love my time with her.

    As planned, we collaborated on dinner last night. I prepared the fish: salmon tails marinated in lemon juice, air-fried at 375° for 10 minutes, then liberally coated with black sesame seeds. Leslie prepared the rice, which was also liberally seasoned with black sesame seeds. They were both served on a plate with a helping of gari (Japanese pickled ginger), and it was absolutely scrumptious. That meal is definitely going into the ‘make it again’ file.

    For this evening, I defrosted chicken. I will be eating alone, but because I was not paying attention, I froze the entire pack of chicken together, which means that it had to be defrosted as one. I will prepare them all this evening, but I will eat them over the next few evenings.

    In a few minutes I have to take Leslie to the airport, and I am not happy about that. She will be back in three weeks is what I have to keep telling myself.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 38

    Last night was an incredible night, but yesterday was a very emotionally difficult day.

    The story:

    When I was in Montreal a couple of weeks ago, Esti (my father’s widow) gave me a DVD to borrow of a presentation that my father did. Dad grew up in a poor, very Jewish immigrant neighbourhood of Montreal (that has since been gentrified and populated by Yuppies). Eighty-some years later, there is a group “from the old hood” that is called The Boys/Girls of Esplanade, and they get together every so often to reminisce about the past. At a certain point, they started a tradition that at every meeting one member would get up and give a speech about his or her memories of the old neighbourhood, and how their lives evolved after leaving it. In October of 2017 it was Arthur’s turn, and it was recorded and put onto a DVD. I think he might have told me about it then, but I forgot. Esti was sure he had gotten copies to give to my sister and me, but I know I never got one.

    For the first time since my father died, I heard his voice. I heard him speaking, telling so many stories that I had heard before… and a few that I had never heard. For over an hour, my father told stories about his life, and I was in tears from nearly the first minute. Leslie held me throughout, and when there was something that she couldn’t understand (as Montreal Jews, we often throw in French, Hebrew, and Yiddish words into everyday conversation). At the end of the speech, I called Esti to tell her I had watched it, and then Leslie and I went to sit outside, and I smoked a very high-end cigar in my father’s memory. My father never smoked cigars – he smoked one in law school and got so sick that he never tried another – but he did not mind if I smoked them around him, as we sat on his back patio.

    In the evening, Leslie and I had a date night. I had a very high-end cigar, and I also had a glass of scotch whisky. It was the second dram that I enjoyed this week, and I know that it is completely not on the weight-loss program. The first one that I had was to calm me down during a very unpleasant disagreement between Leslie and me. It was a good dram, but I did not enjoy it because it was just to calm my nerves. The one I had last night was different. Leslie (at my request) brought me a bottle of Glenrothes 18-year-old Speyside whisky, and it was just heavenly. In fact, our entire date night was perfect. I prepared dinner as I usually do, and then I sat outside listening to music while Leslie got ready… and wow, did she doll herself up! My girlfriend is always pretty and sexy, but when she stepped out onto the balcony my jaw dropped. We had a fabulous time, and throughout the evening I think, if it is at all possible, we grew even closer together.

    I think the only cheat from yesterday was the whisky, but it was worth it! We went shopping yesterday afternoon, and I purchased two gorgeous salmon tails that I will prepare for dinner this evening. I also purchased sesame seeds, soy sauce, and ginger. Because of my diet, I cannot take Leslie out for Japanese food… but I can do my best to recreate at least some of that culinary experience for her (and for myself). She is a master of preparing rice, and she will be in charge of that… and yes, despite rice not being part of my plan, I will have a little bit… not a lot though.

    We got up a little later than usual this morning, but we stayed in bed and talked for a long time, so her omelet was a brunch omelet, and she will likely not need to eat before dinner. I had my breakfast shake and will have a salad mid-afternoon. Around 4:00pm she is scheduled for her Covid-19 test (she is flying home tomorrow afternoon) so we have to drive out to the area around the airport to do that, but we will then come home and have dinner.

    It is a nice day outside, and we took HRF Princess Sophie for a nice walk this morning. We will repeat that process this evening. It is our last evening together for this trip, which is sad, but knowing that she will be back in less than a month makes it a little easier.

    Have a great day folks, and enjoy the weekend, wherever you are!

  • Day 37

    There are going to be good days, there are going to be bad days. Then there are the days that are going to start out really well, go really bad in a hurry, and then end up well again. This is the sort of day yesterday was. It had nothing to do with dieting. Suffice it to say that all’s well that ends well.

    While my weight loss is not going as fast as I would like, I am also not starving myself. I might be consuming as many as 1400 calories in a day, instead of the prescribed 900 calories. Knowing (or at least suspecting) how many calories I used to have in a day, there is no way I can eat 1200-1400 calories and not lose weight. The only differences are that a) I will not see dramatic weight loss every day, and b) I will not be depriving myself, and I will hopefully adjust to eating like this, rather than how I used to eat (and what I was used to eating).

    Leslie has a couple of meetings today, and the weather is pretty ugly outside. It is currently -10° outside, with a windchill of -20°, and with blowing snow. By early afternoon it is supposed to go up to -4°, at which point I hope the wind will have died down, and I can enjoy a cigar. For now, the balcony is quite inhospitable, even with the heater.

    I have one piece of work to do today, and it starts late in the evening. I essentially have the day off, which means I can relax and spend time with my girlfriend… in between her meetings, and her preparing for meetings. I also plan to look at the labs and courseware for my class that starts next week… oh, and I will review the evals for the class that finished last night. I suppose I do have some work to do… but it will still be a relaxing day.

    I was showing Leslie some of the custom-tailored shirts that I have, and then I realized that if I am going to do this slowly, I am going to get a few shirts for the next few months. I have them made by a tailor in Hong Kong who comes to Canada twice per year to measure people and to sell. We looked on their site, and it turns out they will be in town during her next visit! She has excellent fashion sense, and we will pick out a few shirts, maybe a couple of pair of pants, and a sports jacket. I do not think I am going to get a new suit, but I still have a month to decide about that. In the meantime, I have to spend the next month losing weight, so that when the time comes, I will be hopefully 15-20 lbs smaller than I am now.

    This is yet another difference between this time and the previous diet attempts. I had vowed to get a custom-tailored suit when I lost 100 lbs in 2017… and I did. In fact, I got two of them. Neither of them currently fit, but they will when I am at that weight. This time around, I want to start dressing snazzy sooner. I hope that by the time I have a wedding to go to (mid-July) I will fit into my 2017 suits, but in the event that I don’t, at least I will have something nice to wear.

    I had my meeting with my diet-buddy last night. I was worried about her because she had missed the previous meeting, so I reached out to her, and she told me what had happened. Neither one of us is on the pace we want to be, but we are both losing weight, which is just fine.

    I see the weather is getting a little better, and in an hour or so I might be able to wipe down the chairs on the balcony and light a cigar. In the meantime, I want to wish you all a great day, and a wonderful weekend!

  • Day 32

    It truly feels wonderful having Leslie here. I was so happy that she decided to come, and when her plane arrived nearly 30 minutes early, I was elated! Five minutes after her plane was scheduled to land, she messaged me to say that she had her suitcase and was coming out to the kerb. I was only halfway through the cigar that I had been smoking, which is fine because Leslie loves when I smoke cigars. I finished that cigar on the drive home, rather than lighting a fresh one (which had been the plan).

    I was mostly good on the diet yesterday. I did have a bag of almonds on the way to the airport, but it was a small bag, not the big size I would have bought before the diet. I had my piece of chicken and a bog salad, and then I polished off Leslie’s chicken when she said she was done. None of that is really more than I have been doing on the accepted hybrid program I’ve been on. One last shake in the evening, and I estimate that I might have had 1300 calories yesterday, all healthy ones.

    This morning, I prepared a very nice omelet for Leslie, with all-beef salami, onion, and mushrooms. She loved it, but I did help her to finish it. I did not even have a quarter of it, and with the exception of the salami, it was all very healthy. I do not feel bad about it.

    The plan for today: As long as it is warm enough, Leslie and I are going to spend the evening with our friends Lyle and Dorothy. Lyle will be preparing dinner (he is an award-winning gourmet chef), and I expect that he will make something for me that is within the guidelines of my program. In case he does not, I will have a shake and a shaker bottle with me… just in case. Knowing my friend, I will not need it. He has promised Leslie a gastronomical masterpiece heavy on the mushrooms (Leslie is a fiend for fungi!) and served over a bed of his homemade pasta. While I am sure I will eat well as well, I suspect I might be just a little jealous of what they will be eating!

    The cigars that Leslie brought me were… well, there is no other word for them – spectacular. She brought me two limited edition boxes of Davidoff cigars, plus ten Padron 1964 Anniversary (the Cigars International Cigar of the Year). They are absolutely drool-worthy! We took the pictures, and then we put them nicely into the humidor. We then affixed the new LED light strips that I bought into the door of the humidor. The result is amazing… unless you press the flashing button, at which point it feels like a 70s discotheque (minus the LSD).

    I will stick to the plan today! Again, the plan does not have to be as strictly regimented as I once thought… I can replace a meal-replacement shake with a piece of chicken, and I can have a few bites of Leslie’s scramble (I called it an omelet before; in truth, when I tried to flip it and failed, it transformed into a scramble) without beating myself up over it. The spirit of the program is more important than the rules… no starches, very minimal carbs, and smaller portions. I failed on the portions a couple of times this week, but not today. I’ll stick to it today as well.

    Tomorrow is a holiday in both Ontario (Family Day) and the USA (Presidents’ Day), although I will be teaching my group in the USA from Ontario in the evenings. No matter, I love what I do… and I certainly love knowing I am earning a full salary while on shortened hours at my day job!

    Have a great day, and enjoy your day off tomorrow!