Losing a part of me

Category: goals

  • Day 14 – Achievement unlocked

    The achievement that I unlocked is not a weight loss milestone… although I probably hit a couple of those in the last days. I am proud of myself that I got through yesterday on five meal replacements – 800 calories on the day – and nothing more.

    I had a shake for breakfast, and then did a whole lot of organization in my bedroom, finally making real progress (I’ve only lived here three months!) to it being liveable and presentable. It was 2:30pm before I realized it, and I had a bowl of stew (which was better than I’d expected) and then a smores bar for a dessert.

    I went to the cigar lounge for a couple of hours and chatted with some of the guys there. I knew I was going to go to the bar in the evening, but I wanted to go home to see the new shelving unit that my son picked up and put together for me – it is an Ikea unit so there were no surprises, and of course he did a fine job of assembling it. I had a bowl of tortilla soup, and as I was getting ready to leave the house I decided to grab another meal replacement bar; I would not eat it right away, but I felt that it was smart to have in the car in case I got peckish before it was time to come home.

    My friend Al joined me at the bar after the cigar lounge closed, We smoked another cigar, and then as we left the bar I told him that I was looking forward to devouring the bar that was in my car, which is exactly what I did. It was delicious, or maybe just seemed so because I was so hungry.

    I got into bed at around midnight, I watched a little bit of television, and then I turned out the lights around 1am… without eating anything more.

    I was not sure how difficult the transition was going to be from 900 calories to 800 calories, and especially knowing that I had not been following the original program very well. Yesterday I proved to myself that I can do it… and I will continue to try to do the program without incorporating peanuts or almonds… and especially without plates of pasta from my favourite Italian restaurant.

    Today is the last day of my second week on the program. My weight is down about twenty pounds in that time which means that I am about thirty pounds from achieving my goal of fifty pounds by New Years Day. I know of course that the pace of weight loss will abate greatly now – otherwise I would be on track to lose more than sixty pounds in that time – but it should still be doable. If previous attempts at this program are an indication then I can still expect to lose 6-7 pounds per week for the next couple of months. That would get me to exactly my goal by December 31st.

    What angers me is that I regained all of the weight I lost the last time… and the time before that. I have to find a way to meet my weight loss goals, and then to stay there permanently. It will involve serious lifestyle changes that will have to incorporate both diet and exercise. It will be a challenge. I have never shied away from a challenge.

    Have a great Sunday folks.

  • Day 1050

    For a few months I was one of those people who had a piece of exercise equipment that was used mostly for hanging clothes on. I never wanted to be one of those people. When I first bought the treadmill (which I brought home January 1 of this year) I used it quite a bit… and then stopped. For part of the time that I was not using it I was walking outside because the weather was warmer, but for a lot of the time I was just not walking. While I do miss the warmer weather, I am glad that I am back on track with my treadmill. I will continue to walk until I feel that I am able to jog, and then I will continue to jog. I suspect that by that point the winter will be ebbing, but we shall see. It will be nice to be able to walk or even jog outside. I have currently logged about 145km on the treadmill and have found it to be a good way to stay on track when it would be so easy to fall off. Yes, I have plenty of ways to fall without the treadmill… I took advantage (sic!) of several of those ways yesterday.

    (By the way… welcome to Page 1000 of my journal! It took nearly three years to do, and I am not nearly at my goal… but I will keep at it until I am.)

    I am not sure what put the idea of canned salmon into my head, but I had it for a few days. I had told Leslie that while I might do it, I would rather do it for lunch so that I would have the opportunity to burn it off before bed. Yesterday I made the salmon salad that I had been craving. It was delicious, but I vowed that I would not eat anything else (except meal replacements) for the rest of the day. I then went to meet my friend and her girlfriend for dinner… and how much harm could a poke bowl do, right? Of course, while we are sitting to watch her show, I would never buy a bag of chips… but when the girlfriend offers me some of hers, well that’s not such a bad thing, right?

    Everything I did in that previous paragraph was wrong.

    I had done a very short treadmill walk yesterday. I did not have the energy, but I still did a 2km quick walk in the afternoon. I knew when I got home in the evening that I was still short of my steps-goal for the day. I had to take The Floof out for her walk, but that still left me about 1500 steps short of the daily goal. I had failed in so many other things yesterday, but I wanted to at least accomplish that. I got onto the treadmill at 10:00pm and walked the 1300 steps that I was still short… and then called it a night. My streak is up to 5 days. I will extend that today.

    Let’s take an inventory here. I hit my steps-goal, but in a pretty lackluster fashion. I ate horribly. I slept very well (my Sleep Score was 86, and my body battery actually hit 90 this morning). Some good, some bad. The number that matters – that on the bathroom scale – was very bad. I gained three pounds. Ouch. I have to do better today… and tomorrow, and the following day as well.

    As of this moment I am 1.7km short of reaching the 2024 goal for the MapMyFitness challenge. Had I logged my walk with Her Floofness this morning (as I usually do) then I would have surpassed that goal already. It was not really a decision to hit the goal with exercise as much as it was that I forgot to end the walk, which meant that by the time I realized it, the 1.5km walk was in its third hour. I decided to just discard it and will reach the goal on the treadmill this afternoon.

    Speaking of this afternoon… I will do at least 5km on the treadmill, and then after I am cleaned up, I have an appointment for a haircut. Once that is done, I am heading down to Grimsby where I will meet up with a buddy for a cigar. There is a Lodge meeting this evening, and a bunch of guys wanted to meet for dinner. I am not joining them because I really want to stick to my program… especially after the disaster that was yesterday.

    I fell. I am getting back up.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1016

    My weight was up this morning, but only a couple of ounces. I do not think it is because of my food intake versus energy expended yesterday, rather because my system is backed up again this morning. I hope that sometime today that will clear out.

    A longer than expected walk helped me to reach the goal of 24km earlier than expected. Yesterday I walked 9.25km, bringing my total since Monday to 24.42km. I was quite pleased with myself… if somewhat tired. There are two ways to look at things… I could say that I have done it, and relax today… but I know that tomorrow I will not be able to exercise, and Sunday is a travel day, so I likely will not be able to get out again for a few days. Instead I think I will look at it as a way to smash that previous goal and not just edge past it. I am now setting a new goal: Since Sunday I have power-walked 32.83km. Today I will try to hit 7.2km, bringing my total for the week to 40km.

    Yesterday I was not particularly good or bad with regard to food. For lunch I picked up Falafel plates with salad for Leslie and I. For dinner we ordered curry udon which I had never tried before but really enjoyed. We took her son trick-or-treating and were out for about an hour. He offered me a few bits along the way which I graciously accepted and enjoyed… a piece of licorice and two miniature chocolates. I do not think any of that would have killed my progress. A few of the houses offered the adults more, but we politely declined.

    The weather yesterday was not as hot as it had been, but the entirety of my walk was done in the bright sun. Today will be another cooler day (all things are relative) and the forecast looks cloudy all day. That might make walking a little easier. We’ll see!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 943

    I was saying to myself (and possibly to Leslie) last night that sometime in the next few days my weight will finally drop below 290 lbs. Today was not that day, even though it did drop a little from yesterday.  

    My alarm either did not go off or it did but it did not wake me up, and so I was rushing in the morning. I suspect that had I had the time to sit and relax, then I might have been able to successfully move my bowels, thus my weight might have dropped more than the 0.6 lbs. That it did. As it stands, I hope that I will be successful either later today, or else tomorrow morning.  

    I took Princess Sophie out for our walk later than I usually do, and she seemed happy to stay in bed for the extra hour. I would have been too, had I not had work to get to. With that said, my sleep score and body battery both benefited from the extra hour. 

    While I am deliberately not focusing on a comparison to it, my weight yesterday morning dropped below what it was on May 22, when I last tried to restart my weight loss. I remember being disgusted with myself then for having gained 53.2 lbs. Since my best weight; imagine how I felt a little over a week ago when three months on that number had risen to 62.8 lbs.? I have a lot of reasons for having gotten back on track, but first and foremost of those is how terrible I felt about myself. This morning I am 51.8 lbs. From that best weight ever, and I know that I need to continue to work toward it. I still have that goal set for myself to shave my goattee when my weight drops to 240 lbs., and I intend to reach it. I do not know how long it will take… but I will get there. 

    In the meantime, I have other short-term goals to strive for. This morning, I tried to wear a shirt that was a bit tight, and two of my sport coats as well. I want to be able to comfortably wear any outfit in my closet without discomfort… or worry that something might rip. 

    It is another beautiful day in southwest Ontario, and I am stuck inside teaching. No matter, I might take my lunch on the balcony with a meal replacement and a cigar. I know that is what I will be doing after I am finished for the day… and once Her Floofness has been out for her walk. I hope to get through the day without cheating, and if I can do that for a couple more days then I know that before long my weight will drop below 290 lbs… and then hopefully to 285. 

    Have a great day folks! 

  • Day 937

    I was weak last evening. I felt weak, and I gave in to a little temptation. I did not go overboard, but I did break from the program; I made myself a small (2-egg) omelette, and then I ate a protein bar (which is equivalent to drinking an extra meal replacement). I told my wife about the omelette but I think that by the time we spoke, I had forgotten about the protein bar. It was not meant to be dishonest. In any event, I was worried that I would gain weight from these. Fortunately, I did not. Indeed, my weight dropped again this morning. According to the bathroom scale, I dropped another 1.2 lbs., which brings me below the 295 mark for the first time since July 30. I have to keep going though… two days of progress does not a success make. 

    I told Leslie last night that my next goal is to drop to 280 lbs. By the time she visits. That means I have to stay true to the program for the next 3.5 weeks. It means that I am going to have to decline a number of social invitations over the weekend which will be sad, but necessary. I want to get back on track, and the last few weeks have proven to me that I cannot do that if I am going to make an exception for every occasion. 

    We also discussed my failure to maintain a reasonable weight. I have not even been able to type into this journal that horrible number that my weight exceeded four times over the past few weeks. I must be strong and get back on track, which means getting my weight as far below that number as I can. I know that she will love me whatever my weight, but it is not so easy to love myself when I am that morbidly obese. Without going into detail, there was a marked improvement to certain parts of our relationship as I dropped the weight… and if for no other reason than that, then being back above that number is somewhere I never want to be again! Of course, there are also all of the nice clothes that I have that I want to be able to continue to wear more comfortably, and those that I have that do not currently fit at all. Two of my suits fit and two of my sports jackets fit (but tightly), and the rest do not. As for shirts… I know that some of them are tight, and others are not wearable. I will get back into all of them… and soon. 

    It is a beautiful day in the neighbourhood, but I will be teaching until nearly 5:00pm. No problem… once I am off I will shed my jacket and tie, and I will put on a pair of shorts and a golf shirt. After I have my second meal replacement of the day I will go shopping for coffee and eggs and the vegetables I need for my omelettes, and then I will take Princess Sophie for a nice walk. I will follow that up with a cigar on the balcony. Leslie’s son is coming home to her this afternoon, so I do not know if we will be able to have a video date. If we can, then yay! If not, then I will read. 

    Yesterday after class I took Her Floofness for her walk, and then I took a nap. That allowed me to have a cigar date with my wife in the evening. Monday evening, I was so tired that I could not, and I thought I might be sick until Leslie reminded me that my body was rebelling against the severely reduced caloric intake. I am hoping that either today or tomorrow my body will be in ketosis and that will be behind me. If not, then I will take more naps. I will not sabotage my progress by eating (as I did yesterday). At least when I ate yesterday, was not carbs or starches, so I did mostly stay with the program. Hopefully today I can do better. 

    Can I get down under 290 lbs. By the weekend? That would be great. I will not veer from my program which would sabotage myself. Let’s see if I can do it. 

    Have a great day folks! 

  • Day 936

    I am not going to lie and say that yesterday was easy… but it was worth it. I found myself without energy much earlier than I normally would. Of course I got through my class without any issues, but by the time I signed off I was quite hungry for that second meal replacement. I then sat on the balcony with a cigar and relaxed. Around 8:30pm I took Her Floofness out for a walk, again realizing that I was quite hungry. We got home around 9:15pm and I immediately prepared my final meal replacement of the day. My plan was to finish that, and then pick another cigar and sit out on the balcony and wait for Leslie to come home from her evening activity and join me on a video call. Realizing how tired I was, I decided instead to get ready for bed. Leslie and I did have our video date, but it was not a cigar on the balcony date. 

    It was hard to get through yesterday, but when I got onto the bathroom scale this morning I was glad the effort had paid off. My weight dropped a full three pounds, bringing me back down to 295 lbs. Even. It is the first time this month that I have dropped to that number. Now I want to try to keep the streak going and lose more weight every day this week. 

    I hate the fact that so many of my clothes do not fit, and I hate the fact that I have to plan my daily wardrobe based on what will and what will not. My first major goal is to get back down to 265 lbs. Which is what I weighed the last time my tailor was in town. I do not know if I will be going back to him when he is here at the end of September, but whether or not I do, I still want to make sure that my clothes from my last fitting fit and fit well. 

    My next major goal after that remains to get my weight back to 240 lbs., which is when I will shave my beard for Leslie. It also means that I will be back to within a couple of pounds of my best weight ever. 

    In the meantime, I am renewing my minor goals of the five- and ten-pound milestones and am going to resume tracking my progress on the chart on my fridge door. I hate the fact that nearly three months later, I weigh more today than I did when I first drew up that chart (on May 22). I am a few days away from getting back down to that weight (291.8 lbs.) and will use the same chart to track it. My goal is to get myself back in shape. It was only ten months ago that I was at my best weight of this millenium and I want to get back to that… And I do not want to take ten months to do it. I am hoping that before the spring of 2025 I will be able to shave my beard at 240 lbs. 

    I should mention that my knee is not yet completely healed, but it is feeling better than it was. I hope that by the weekend I can get out for a nice long walk without aggravating it any further. I am still taking the anti-inflammatory meds, but I am down to a single pill, three times per day. I expect that by the end of the week I will not need them at all.

    Okay, I’m going to go back to my class now… we are on a break, but I also want to check my email. 

    Have a great day folks! 

  • Day 858

    I had a feeling yesterday that I couldn’t shake that I would not be losing weight this morning. I had four great days of weight loss, and my body was going to steady or correct its trajectory and slow things down. This despite knowing that I had jogged 5km and had not veered from the weight loss program. Leslie reminded me that whether or not I lose weight on one given day should not be taken as an omen, but also that I might lose weight, but not as much as I had the previous four days. She was right of course… on both parts. I dropped a little over a pound this morning. I am going to keep doing what I am doing… even on days when I do not like what the bathroom scale tells me.

    Something else that I admitted to Leslie yesterday is that I am angry with myself for having thrown away so much of my weight loss progress over these last seven months. I was doing so well, and then I pissed it away (or rather ate it away). When I felt that my weight was safely below 250 lbs. I vowed that I would never let it go above that number again. I dropped below 250 ‘for the final time’ on September 17, and was going to keep at it… and yet it happened: on November 24 my weight peeked above that ugly number, and then ten days later it would jump above it and stay there… and there it is today. It only took 15 days to jump above 260 (which I had dropped below on August 21, vowing never again…) and yes, I was going through a rough spot… but suck it up Mitch! Don’t eat your feelings! It would take nearly three months for my weight to peek above 270 (March 4 for the first time, and then permanently on March 10). I had dropped ‘forever’ below that number on July 13, after a long diet break. I had not weight more than 280 since February 18 (first hit March 21), and my last weigh-in over 290 lbs. was January 31, 2023 (where I spent two days May 21-22).

    It took me 68 days to drop from 250 lbs. to 238.6 (Oct. 18 – 31 days), and then back up to 250 (Nov. 24 – 37 days). It took me 119 days to drop from 260 to that best weight, and then back up to 260 (December 19). It took 223 days to drop from 270 to by best weight and then gain it all back. The numbers for 280 lbs is a staggering 382 days… and for 290 lbs. it is 417. It took me 201 days to drop from 290 lbs. to my best weight ever… it took me 216 days to gain it back.

    What a fucking waste of energy.

    Leslie reminded me that we cannot change the past, we can only focus on now and the future. While this is true, I hope that tracking the past and studying it may help me to not repeat it.

    I am essentially starting the program anew with a fresh head, so it should not take me 200+ days to drop 42 lbs. … but just knowing that I wasted so much of it – I essentially threw away a year – upsets me. Getting back on track is hugely important, and I will do it. As of this morning’s reading on the bathroom scale, I am 41.6 lbs. from my best weight ever.

    Assuming there is no way that I will continue to lose over a pound per day, I would be happy if by the time Leslie arrives (in 38 days) I could lose another 15-20 lbs. I had originally told her than my goal was to drop to 270 by then, but I am amending that because I know that for that week I will not be on the program. If I could stay below 270 (or even 265) by the time she leaves the next week then I would consider that a huge success, and I will at that point get back onto the program.

    How long will it take for me to get back to my best weight ever? In other words: from today, how long will it take for me to lose 42 lbs.? I don’t know… but I would like to set a goal for the end of the September. That gives me 126 days to lose 40 pounds, or a little under 2.5 lbs. per week. It is an ambitious goal, but hopefully an achievable one.

    For the short term, I would really like for my pants to fit better… and for my sports jackets to start fitting again. I would like to be able to comfortably wear my guayaberas this summer, which I was able to do when I was last in Cuba (I have another 5 lbs. to lose until I weigh what I weighed on my last trip, but I am still 16 lbs. bigger than I was the previous month). I need patience.

    While my weight did drop again today, it is the first day since I started that I could not cross off a goal on my fridge tracker. To quote Maxwell Smart: Missed it by that much. Hopefully I’ll be there tomorrow.

    I should mention that I did two things worth mentioning yesterday: I did indeed jog my 5km (although I did not walk the rest of the hour, so my workout ended up as 5.23km in 49m51s). I also got through the day sans almonds, which means that I was probably at 940 calories on the day. I’ll call those both huge successes, as I had not previously been able to hit the 5km mark, and it was only the second day that I was able to get through the program without the added help.

    It is a wet and rainy morning in Burlington, and I am glad for the treadmill. I think I’m going to publish this entry and then change into my kit. Owing to the weather, Princess Sophie did not want to go for her usual 1.5-2km walk this morning, and so I am still under 1000 steps. My next jogging goal is 6km, followed closely by jogging for a full hour. Will I make it? We’ll see… but as I have said before, I may be tracking my workouts, but I am not competing with myself. My goal is to get into shape, and not to hurt myself.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 854

    My wife has been joking, in our week leading up to restarting our diet together, that I lose weight if I even look at a meal replacement shake. While I wish that were true, I would be lying if I did not say that when I am on the program (and faithful to it) I tend to lose weight faster than others might. That is especially true on the first few days of my returning to the program, when I have been known to lose over ten (and once over fifteen) pounds in a week.

    I have been told often that it is easier for men to lose weight than it is for women, but never having been a woman I cannot attest to that. I am neither a scientist nor a medical professional of any kind, so I can only speak to my own experience. When I am able to stick to this program – a grueling one that many people would never want to try – I am able to lose weight. With that said, I think I tend to unintentionally stack the deck in my favour at the beginning. I know that if I were to have a lot of bread today then tomorrow my weight would be way up… but if I then ate sensibly and stayed away from all starches and carbohydrates tomorrow then I would shed much of that gained weight the following day. Tuesday I did not go nuts, but I did buy two rolls that I enjoyed with lunch and dinner… in addition to an apple. On Monday I had my cheat meal of the shawarma platter, as well as a bag of chips. Owing to that, my weight was up 3.4 lbs. over those two days. Yesterday I was mostly good… but I was really hungry, and so I bought a small bag of roasted and unsalted almonds, and I probably ate the equivalent of two servings of them (between 40-50 almonds). Other than that, I drank my four shakes and a pot of coffee. Not bad for a first day on the program.

    I was worried that the almonds would have impeded my success, but Leslie reassured me last night that I still consumed far fewer calories than I would on a normal non-program day. Of course she was right, and I was probably worried for nothing. When I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning I was extremely pleased to see that I had indeed dropped four pounds in one day. How amazing would it be if I could do that on a regular basis? I would only need to diet for three weeks and I would be at my ultimate goal weight! Of course that is not going to happen, and I am under no delusions that I should expect anything like that going forward. With that said, it is a good way to start, and will encourage me to keep at it… especially on those days when I do not see any drop.

    I have written before about the importance of setting short-term goals. Leslie reminded me of that last night as we were talking, and I set one on the spot. I would love to get back down to under 270 lbs. in time for her visit. From yesterday that would mean a drop of 20 lbs. in about six weeks. While that is certainly achievable, I would not have a lot of room for error in that. I will try for it though.

    Of course, that is more of a challenge and a deadline than it is a goal… so I’ve given a little thought to some other short-term goals:

    • I want to fit into all of my clothes again… especially the custom-tailored shirts and sports jackets that I vowed would never be tight on me again.
    • I want to look at my face and see the slimmer face that seemed to appear out of nowhere. As I was losing weight the last time, there seemed to be a tipping point at which my face looked slimmer and less round. I do not remember when it happened, nor when it reverted to the rounder face that I see in the mirror (and in pictures) today… but I want to get back there.
    • I want to be able to adjust my tuxedo pants to the smaller waist… and then eventually change down to the smaller pair that I bought that turned out to be too tight.

    I do not think that any of these are unreasonable… although the second goal is more subjective and difficult to quantify. I do not see why I couldn’t do all of this by my birthday… so when my wife takes me out I can look good once again.

    I marked off my progress on the fridge chart this morning and it felt good. It is a full page chart that counts down in the left-hand column from yesterday’s weight by twos. The last row at the bottom reads 240 lbs. and in the right it reads ‘Shave to Baby Face!’ in red. Giving that a little thought, knowing that I will be doing this primarily for Leslie, I will either not shave it until we are together, or else I will shave it and not start growing it back until we are. I will discuss this with her but I am sure we will figure that out.

    I exercised yesterday! As I wrote in my entry, I cleared off the treadmill and walked for nearly an hour at a pretty good pace. Once again there is a disparity between the measurements on the panel and that on my fitness watch, but I am not concerned about that. Right now I am not exercising to compete with myself, only to get back into it. At some point in the next few weeks I will calibrate them, but for the time being I am just happy that I did what I said… and will do so again today. Yes, it is a beautiful day out again… but I am still not sure how far I can go before I hit that wall… and it is safer on the treadmill. Additionally, I can watch TV on the treadmill, and I have a few shows I am catching up on.

    As I wrote yesterday and then followed up on earlier in this piece, I am trying to figure out how to comfortably space out my shakes so that I do not get too hungry throughout the day. I do not know how much more weight I might have lost had I not eaten those almonds, but I am not concerned with that. What I am aiming for is to be on the program where I can be on the program… without needing to supplement it with anything but water. Yes, I drank a lot of water yesterday, and will do so today as well.

    Dieting is never easy, and a program like the one I am on is probably more grueling than most. There may be no thought required with regard to what I eat, but I do have to figure out how to get through the day without suffering too badly. It is something I will continue to watch for. I know how my body reacted to the program starting from zero; I do not know how it will react this time around, and each time can be very different. I know that of course because this is not my first time rebooting… and each time has been different.

    I mentioned to Leslie last night that there are some things that I had forgotten from my previous attempts. She mentioned one that I had forgotten, and so thanks to her I will be adding fibre to my shakes a couple of times per day.

    When her meeting is over Leslie and I will be having a video date, but until then I guess I should try to be at least somewhat productive. I’ll write more tomorrow.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 731

    I suppose working out yesterday was a big factor for my fourth weight-loss day in a row this morning. I have to keep at it despite all of the emotional garbage that I am going through. I will eat carefully and mindfully, and I will work out as many days as I can. I know there will be times when that will be impossible, but I am going to keep trying to get back to where I was when I was under 240 lbs. (around the middle of October).

    My plans for today include working out, then working for a few hours (Okay, for a few more hours, as I have already spent an hour writing emails and fighting with labs). After that, I am going to head to my buddy’s place in Cambridge. His football team is in the playoffs, and while I don’t care who wins or loses, I still enjoy watching the games. I also enjoy being able to smoke a cigar in the warmth from time to time!

    I’ll see you tomorrow.

  • Day 704

    Merry Christmas to all of my friends who celebrate it, and to those who do not, I wish you a wonderful day – many of us are off work, which means that I will be sitting and relaxing for much of the day. I started by sleeping in, and then took Her Royal Floofness for a walk. I did not even sit down for breakfast until nearly 11:00am!

    After going overboard for a few days (up to and including Saturday) I settled down with my eating yesterday. I thought I might be having breakfast with my friends but ended up dropping off the presents and enjoying a cup of coffee with them. I came home and prepared a couple of eggs on a toasted roll. It was quite nice. I met Rami at the pub for lunch and had fish and chips – not healthy, but still not as bad as so many other things I have eaten in the last few weeks. My dinner was mostly in line with what I would have eaten when I was losing weight steadily. I did not eat anything after 6:30pm, which is something I try to do.

    The result of that, and another very generous bowel movement this morning, resulted in a significant drop in weight on the bathroom scale. It is disheartening to think that nearly two months ago my weight dropped below 240 lbs. for a few days, and then at the beginning of the month I was trying to get back down below the 250 lbs. mark… and today I was relieved to drop below 265 lbs. again. I cannot let this throw me though. I have had a terrible setback, and it is time to pick myself back up. Tomorrow will be the last of the bad temptation days – I’ll be at Cam and Amanda’s place, and they always put out so many tempting treats (even before the delicious dinner). I have to do my best to not give in to too much temptation there. After that it will be mostly smooth sailing for the next few weeks – right up to the day I fly down to Dallas. That’s a little under three weeks away, and I would really like to get back below 250 lbs. by then. I am not sure I’ll be able to, but I will do my best. The morning after I returned from my last trip (November 6) I weighed 246.6 lbs. which is 15.6 lbs. lower than I did this morning. If I can get to within a couple of pounds of that I will be thrilled. I fly in nineteen days… that is an optimistic goal, but an achievable one if I stay focused.

    Okay, it is time for a cigar. See you tomorrow.