Losing a part of me

Category: Sick

  • Day 3 Drama

    Yesterday I was strict on the program during the day, but not in the evening. If I am going to cheat, I know it should be during the day, and not at night. I didn’t have a lot of choice. I didn’t even cheat too bad… a friend brought Vietnamese pho for dinner. Yes, the noodles are bad for the diet, but that is the only ‘permanent’ bad of it. The reason my weight was up an astonishing 3.5 lbs. this morning was more for the ridiculously high sodium content, which is bad for the water retention issue, but will likely be reversed within a day or two.

    I was not feeling well yesterday evening. I felt a cold coming on starting mid-afternoon, and it continued to worsen throughout the day. I told my friend, who understood and went home after dinner so I could get into bed quickly. I may have been in bed by 8:15pm, but I did not fall asleep until 10:45. I still slept quite soundly, and am (so far) feeling better today.

    I am enjoying the class that I am teaching this week. It is way outside my usual comfort zone, but I spent the requisite time preparing, I sat (and passed) the exam over the weekend, and two days into it my students seem to think that I am doing well. Phew! Occasionally there is a class that I am forced to teach which I really have to ‘fake my way’ through. This week is not one of them. I have been using Microsoft Windows since 1985 and very deeply since Windows 2000 and am considered one of the top guys in it; with that said, I have used Linux quite a bit, especially for my cybersecurity work, and while I never considered myself an expert in it, the week I spent preparing for the exam (and this class) solidified a few concepts for me that were probably the difference between ‘user’ and ‘expert’ levels. I plan to keep working with Linux, and hope that I can continue to get more comfortable with it.

    In the opening paragraph of this journal entry I mentioned that if I am going to cheat, it should be earlier in the day; this is so that my body can process the bad before I go to sleep. I also said I often will not have a choice in the timing, especially when there is an evening meal involved. Today I do have the choice! There is leftover pho which I will enjoy for lunch. Not only can I eat it earlier, but because it was my friend’s leftover portion (they ordered the same as I did, but because of a weight loss surgery their stomach is much smaller, hence so is their appetite) so it is a much more reasonable portion than what I ate last night. I trust that since I will be eating smaller and earlier, I will still see a drop in my weight tomorrow morning. Even if I do not, I still feel that I am getting back on track.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1333

    Yesterday was not as relaxing a day as it might have been, but it was a good day. I spent it with a friend and we had a great time. I was in bed and asleep by midnight (if not slightly earlier), and my fitness watch registered 8h20m of sleep, which should be amazing, right? So why, I ask, did it decide that my sleep score was a ‘fair’ 66? The portal reads: “You slept long enough, but not well enough to bring your stress levels down overnight. You might feel higher stress or fatigue today.” I am not going to lie, I have felt exhausted all day so it might just know of what it speaks. While I went out for a couple of errands, I spent most of the day relaxing at home. I should also mention that I woke up sneezing and couldn’t stop for a couple of hours (likely until the cocktail of allergy and cold meds kicked in) so while I had planned to take my son the younger for lunch, my ex-wife and I agreed that would be a bad idea.

    I am going to have dinner and then a cigar before trying to get a good night sleep. Tomorrow I begin teaching again, and I want to be refreshed for it. Tomorrow I am also planning to begin cutting down my food intake and substituting meal-substitutes. I will play it by ear, but I am thinking for a few days I will have an omelette for breakfast followed by meal replacement snacks spread throughout the day as needed. I am trying these new ones and we will see how it goes.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1134

    I am down three pounds in the last couple of days, and if I can find the energy to not be sick today, I will try to dust off the treadmill. I slept terribly last night though and am going to go back to bed for a little while.

    To be clear: Yes, my weight is down again this morning… that does not mean that I am happy with where it is. Two days ago I looked at the numbers on the bathroom scale and wanted to vomit… or worse.

  • Day 1121

    I could not believe how thirsty I was last night! We had shawarma for dinner which was probably way too salty and a contributing factor, but there was more to it than that. I drained four litres of water between the time Leslie and I started watching our first movie and when we got up in the morning. My output was not even close to keeping up with my intake. This would be one of the reasons my weight ballooned up this morning. I hated seeing that number.

    Today will be a bit more reasonable. While yes, we are having fried chicken for lunch, it will be a much more reasonable portion size than the shawarma plate that I ate last night. It will also be earlier in the day. We will then have dinner around 5:30pm so that I can be online and ready to teach my class.

    My cold seems to be getting a little better over time, which is the usually and expected progression of a head cold. It was really bad for a couple of days, then yesterday it was a little better, and today it is a little better again. I do not know how much of my thirst and dry mouth/nose were from the cold, but I have set up a humidifier in the bedroom in case that happens again.

    Have a great day.

  • Day 1119

    My cold keeps getting worse. I was really hoping that yesterday would have been the worst of it, but no such luck. I will spend most of the day resting, and then will wake up to shower, then teach for four hours before heading to the airport. There will be plenty of fluids and vitamins in me today!

    I neither lost nor gained weight this morning… and while I slept over eight hours, my fitness watch gave me a lousy sleep score. Boo. Fortunately my anxiety did have some relief yesterday. Thanks goodness for friends… and my father z”l.

  • Day 1118

    My head cold is worse today than it was yesterday. At least I dropped a pound. I am heading to see a friend who might be able to help me with one of my most pressing stressors right now. I am hoping it works.

    While I have my day to get through and I’ll do what needs to get done, I am quite relieved that I do not have to lecture this evening. I do not know if my head would get through it.

    Have a great day.

  • Day 1117

    I wonder if there is a better indication of how difficult weight loss is than the fact that over the past 1,117 days my weight started at 395, dropped down to under 240, and is back up hovering above 300. I want to get back down there, but man is it a challenge.

    With all of the stress and anxiety I was not surprised that my weight did jump up this morning… not to where it was on Friday, but it is still 2 lbs. up from yesterday. I am still under 309, but f.u.c.k.

    To make things so much more pleasant, I started feeling a cold coming on yesterday. I am glad that I went to the store to pick up meds because today it is full-on in my head, nose, and throat. It’s a good thing the class I am teaching is an entry-level one… and that I proactively assigned the students labs for the first hour. Yes, I will have to lecture… but not as much as I might have.

    I am meeting with someone tomorrow that might help relieve some of my other stresses and anxieties. I am crossing my fingers but not getting my hopes too high.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 1105

    My weight is not cooperating, but it seldom does when I am under the weather. At least I got a good night sleep at last. I woke up in the middle of the night once or twice and was afraid I would not be able to fall back asleep, but I did. Here’s hoping that I can stay reasonably true to my game plan today.

    Whatever I may be sick with is still with me, but it is neither better nor worse than it was the last couple of days. If it does not get worse then I’m not worried about getting through the day.

    The weather is not pretty. While the temperature is reasonable, the wind is wild so the windchill is not pleasant. Princess Sophie and I made it almost to the end of the block before turning back. She does not like the howling winds. She hates wet and precipitation as well, so combining the two meant it was going to be a short walk. At least she did all of her business before we turned back.

    Today is Day 3 of my class. I am pretty much on schedule, and I hope the students are enjoying it. I did get a bit of good news from a student I taught last year – he passed one of his exams yesterday and thanked me for the class. That always makes me feel good.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1104

    I was relieved to get to sleep before 10pm last night. I slept right through… until 1:15am, at which point I was awake until 3:30am when finally got back to sleep. I suppose I have too much on my mind to expect more. My throat is no better this morning than it was yesterday, but at least it is no worse. Let’s hope it stays that way.

  • Day 1103

    Had I written this entry earlier in the day I am sure I would have been down on myself about my weight rebounding back to where it was Saturday. After a long day of lecturing with a sore throat I am just glad I made it through the day. I really hope I am not coming down with anything. See you all tomorrow.