Losing a part of me

Category: Teaching

  • Day 3 Drama

    Yesterday I was strict on the program during the day, but not in the evening. If I am going to cheat, I know it should be during the day, and not at night. I didn’t have a lot of choice. I didn’t even cheat too bad… a friend brought Vietnamese pho for dinner. Yes, the noodles are bad for the diet, but that is the only ‘permanent’ bad of it. The reason my weight was up an astonishing 3.5 lbs. this morning was more for the ridiculously high sodium content, which is bad for the water retention issue, but will likely be reversed within a day or two.

    I was not feeling well yesterday evening. I felt a cold coming on starting mid-afternoon, and it continued to worsen throughout the day. I told my friend, who understood and went home after dinner so I could get into bed quickly. I may have been in bed by 8:15pm, but I did not fall asleep until 10:45. I still slept quite soundly, and am (so far) feeling better today.

    I am enjoying the class that I am teaching this week. It is way outside my usual comfort zone, but I spent the requisite time preparing, I sat (and passed) the exam over the weekend, and two days into it my students seem to think that I am doing well. Phew! Occasionally there is a class that I am forced to teach which I really have to ‘fake my way’ through. This week is not one of them. I have been using Microsoft Windows since 1985 and very deeply since Windows 2000 and am considered one of the top guys in it; with that said, I have used Linux quite a bit, especially for my cybersecurity work, and while I never considered myself an expert in it, the week I spent preparing for the exam (and this class) solidified a few concepts for me that were probably the difference between ‘user’ and ‘expert’ levels. I plan to keep working with Linux, and hope that I can continue to get more comfortable with it.

    In the opening paragraph of this journal entry I mentioned that if I am going to cheat, it should be earlier in the day; this is so that my body can process the bad before I go to sleep. I also said I often will not have a choice in the timing, especially when there is an evening meal involved. Today I do have the choice! There is leftover pho which I will enjoy for lunch. Not only can I eat it earlier, but because it was my friend’s leftover portion (they ordered the same as I did, but because of a weight loss surgery their stomach is much smaller, hence so is their appetite) so it is a much more reasonable portion than what I ate last night. I trust that since I will be eating smaller and earlier, I will still see a drop in my weight tomorrow morning. Even if I do not, I still feel that I am getting back on track.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1302

    I realized yesterday that I made a mistake. I thought I had two full boxes of meal replacements (which is enough for a week). It turns out that I only have half a box left. I am hoping that by this afternoon my credit card payment will have gone through and that I can order more today, but even if I did I would not get the delivery in two days. I am until I get more stock on a partial program. I had some chicken yesterday, and this morning I had my first meal replacement after coming in from walking the Floof… 7:00am. I have chicken and vegetables for salad later today.

    I did not sleep at all last night. I got perhaps two hours of sleep in the afternoon, but could not manage any more in the evening. As a result, I have been extremely tired through the first half of my class. I have four hours left of my day, and then I will be able to get three hours of sleep before my cleaning lady comes. Scheduling her for today was a bad idea, but how could I have known?

    By the way… I do not think I have moved my bowels once this week. I am starting to think about proactive measures in case that extreme pain situation comes back.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1286

    This morning’s weight was worse than the last couple of days, and it is infuriating… even though I know it does not really mean anything. What I might weigh at 2:30am is always going to be different from what I would weigh at 8am. I also know that it had been three days since I had any sort of bowel movement, and when I was finally able to do that later in the morning I was quite relieved… and expect that will impact my weight tomorrow morning.

    Today is my last day of teaching overnight… until Monday, when I start a two-week class doing the same thing. In short, my sleep schedule is going to be quite horked through to August 22, and there is very little I can do about it. I am not about to turn down huge amounts of work so that I can get a good night sleep. I am excited to begin that class, and once I get into a rhythm I should be able to manage the six hour offset quite well. The hardest part of it will be the following weekend, when I am meant to be back on a normal (Eastern Daylight Time) for two days and then immediately pop back to Central European Standard Time. I’ll survive!

    Since I will be doing it for two straight weeks, I am going to establish my 1:00am weight as my normal through the fortnight. At that point I will not be worried about the hour because it will be consistent. Hopefully I will still be losing weight; hopefully I will be able to follow a reasonable routine.

    I wrote the previous paragraphs earlier. It is now my lunch hour (that is, 7:15-8:15am). I just came in from walking Her Floofness, and I prepared my first meal replacement shake. I have a few more minutes to enjoy it before my lecture starts up again, so I will do that and wish you all well.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1292

    30.4. The bathroom scale this morning confirmed that it took me twenty-six days to drop 30.4 lbs., and I nearly wooted out loud. I suspect it would have scared Her Floofness so early in the morning, but I quietly smiled.

    Yesterday was the second day in a row that I moved my bowels twice. I suppose the fibre is finally doing its job! Aside from dropping another half pound, I was also happy to see my sleep score of 84 this morning. Even though I wish I could have slept another 30-60 minutes, and my fitness watch categorized it as: ‘shorter than ideal, plenty of deep.’ That means that four of the last seven nights I had a sleep score of seventy-five or better. I think it is a combination of the melatonin and going to bed a little earlier that is helping. Of course, that ends Wednesday… I am teaching another class in Europe Wednesday through Friday, which means my sleep cycle will be completely upside down again. To make things even more interesting (sic), I should be receiving confirmation today or tomorrow that I am also teaching a class in Europe the next two weeks straight. Financially that is a relief. Sleep wise? Not so much.

    The class I should be teaching the next two weeks is for a certification that I do not currently hold, so I am preparing to sit the exam Wednesday… although I will be deciding sometime today whether or not to move that up to tomorrow… or even this evening. We’ll see. It is another high-level cybersecurity exam, and while it is slightly different from the CISSP, it is not significantly different. Going through a lot of the material I realized that there is a huge overlap in material, which is why I am thinking of moving it up. Practically speaking, that also would give me more time to reschedule it for the weekend if I do happen to fail… which is unlikely, but always a possibility.

    Yesterday I drove out to see my son around 11:00am, and then after about an hour with him I drove to Hagersville for my cigars, just as I had planned. I also take the opportunity when I am out there to fill my gas tank – the difference is at least twenty cents per litre!

    I kept telling myself that I needed to stop off for milk and cheese before I went home, and then I got distracted. The next time I thought of it I had already parked the car. Rather than hop back in, I went into the house, greeted Her Floofness, and took out the garbage before I headed out. I grabbed a reusable bag and walked to the supermarket on the corner. I was surprised that even with that walk I had not hit my steps goal for the day. As low as the goal is, I figured that would have done it. Luckily, despite several earlier outings, Princess Sophie told me she wanted to go out after I came in from my evening cigar, at which point not only did she poop, but I was also able to achieve my daily steps goal. I am hoping that yesterday was Day 1 of a new steps-goal streak. I know that with my crazy work schedule it might be a bit challenging, but let’s see if I can do it.

    Okay, I have rescheduled my exam for tomorrow afternoon. Now I have a bit more prep to do before I am ready. I also have some videos to record today for a contract I have been working on. It should be a fun if harried couple of days.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1279

    I was going to say that I spent the morning procrastinating, but in truth I have been diligently writing emails that needed to be written. I have also (at long last) made an appointment to get my eyes checked (I suspect it has been three years since I did) so that I can then get new eyeglasses, which I suspect has been a problem for me the past year or so.

    While my bowels are again stopped up (It has now been two days since a successful movement) I am not worried because it has also been thirteen days since I last ate solid food, and …

    Okay, that was fortuitous timing. I was right in the middle of writing about it that I felt the urge, and was quite successful in the endeavour. Here’s to the fibre I have been (since Friday) religiously been remembering to add to my meal replacements in the morning!

    I have often in the past talked about how my clothes fit was a good indicator of my progress. I have a masonic ring that I purchased in the autumn which over the last couple of months has been quite tight on my ring finger. There have been days when I wore it on my pinky, and others when I did not wear it at all. These last couple of days it has fit much nicer – it is a bit tight going over the knuckles, but is comfortable to wear. I look forward to it being even a bit looser in the next few months.

    Yesterday I reported that my weight had, for the first morning weigh-in since I started on the program, was slightly up. This morning it righted itself, with a 1.6 lb. drop from yesterday (and a 1.2 lb. drop from the previous day). I was not discouraged yesterday; I know that there will be days when this happens, and I do not have to be worried or disheartened on those days. When it happens I need to remember that what tiny progress I lost on Day Q will usually more than be recovered on Day Q+1. As I have written in these pages so many times, weight loss is about the downward trend and not about individual plots on the graph.

    My sleep score last night was up from the abysmal previous night, partly owing I would think to the fact that it recorded 8.25 hours of sleep. It reported that I did not get enough REM sleep. Still and all, a sleep score of 75 is much better than yesterday’s 56. I’ll take it! How well will I sleep tonight? That depends on how prepared I feel for my exam… which is tomorrow. Right now I do not feel like I am adequately prepared. I have less than twenty-four hours to get just a little bit more prepared… if that is even possible.

    The company that offers the certification for which I am testing tomorrow is called ISC2, and I have been certified with them in other programs since December. I was made an Authorized ISC2 Instructor in April, and yesterday was my first delivery of one of their courses. The class was for the very basic entry-level certification, and is meant to be a 2-day course. The training provider scheduled it as a 1-day class, and I only saw the discrepancy over the weekend. I was worried that I would not be able to inject the class with my usual panache, and in the afternoon felt like I was rushing through material at a pace that nobody (or at least not a beginner, which is who entry level classes are for) would be able to follow. Even with cutting the lunch hour to forty-five minutes and with the rushing my lecture went over time by three minutes. With trepidation in my mind I nonetheless apologized for rushing through and asked the students to fill out their evaluations. When I read them this morning I was elated to see that yes, they all wanted to class to be longer… but gave the instructor perfect scores. That is the only metric that I am judged on, and I was quite relived to see it.

    I have to get working on my studies… there have been too many necessary distractions today and while none of them were wasting time, they were also not studying for my exam. The rest of the day will be dedicated to that. I’m not sure if I will write tomorrow’s entry before or after my exam, but one way or another I’ll see you all on the morrow.

    Have a great day.

  • Day 1278

    It was going to happen eventually, so why not this morning? I stepped onto the bathroom scale to discover that my weight was up a couple of ounces from yesterday. I am still slightly better than 20 lbs. down… but only by a very slim margin.

    I am teaching today and plan to stick to the plan. At the end of the day I will continue to study for my exam which is Wednesday. After the exam is behind me then it will be time to think about an exercise regimen. I know how important that is for not only my weight loss, but also for improving my overall mental well-being.

    I did not sleep well last night. I studied and prepared for my class until 10:15pm on the balcony, after which I decided to watch an episode of a show that I am watching to wind down. While I was in bed with the lights out by 11:30pm, I did not get comfortable until after 1:15am when I finally decided to turn the air conditioner on. That’s all well and good… until you factor in the 5:45am alarm that I had set. There is no way to call 4.5 hours of sleep ‘sufficient.’ I’ll get more rest tonight, but certainly after I sit the exam.

    By the by, I am still drinking huge amounts of water but the internal chill has not manifested. I suppose the effects of the program are slightly different each time.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1222

    For only the second time in a month my Sleep Score was an 83 last night. I had trouble falling asleep, but when I did I slept well. I was worried when, around 6:30am, I had to get up to pee. I was worried that Princess Sophie would not let me get back into bed because she wanted to start her day. Fortunately that was not the case, and I was able to sleep another couple of hours, and for the second time in a month I recorded eight hours of sleep.

    I spent the day connecting with friends yesterday, and then the evening on the balcony with a cigar and a drink. I suppose that is my pattern these days.

    This evening I begin teaching my class in Central Europe Standard Time again… which for local time looks like 1:00am unto 11:30am. Add to that, this evening I begin my last week with my evening classes, so Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I am also teaching from 6:30pm until 10:30pm. It is going to be another disastrous week for my sleeping, but work is good for my soul. Right now it is the only part of my life that is.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1221

    As do many adults, I enjoy a drink from time to time. I have for years followed the guidance that when I feel I need a drink then I do not drink. I have never wanted alcohol to be a crutch. That seems to have gone by the wayside these last few weeks (and especially the last two). I am not drinking to excess, but I am pouring myself a double almost every evening. I would like to say that I need to stop… but for the time being, I have more pressing things going on in my life, in my head. If it’s simply a couple of drams of whisky or rum in the evening then it is much better than it might be.

    I spent most of the last five days cramming for an exam for which I still felt that I was not fully prepared, but I needed to pass it by yesterday in order to be able to teach the class this week. It paid off, and yesterday evening I passed the Microsoft Cybersecurity Architect exam. Don’t get all excited – while it is certainly a bear of an exam, I do not think of anyone who passes it as an architect or anything close. I actually failed it on Thursday (I started that morning with another crushing email that threw me and my emotions (which had already been in the toilet) completely asunder. I then spent ten hours Friday and eight hours Saturday preparing to retake it, and I was able to eke out the passing score in the evening. I did not ace it, but it was also not a borderline pass. What a relief.

    That is the good news, and the fact that the related course seems to be in huge demand all of a sudden means that it was a smart move. The bad news (not really bad, but…) is that this week’s class is another Central Europe Standard Time class – another week (well, four days) of overnights. It will be grueling, but I will make it through; I always do.

    It is time for me to start my day… even though I wish I could just crawl back into bed I have commitments. Her Floofness decided that nearly five hours was enough sleep for me, and would not let me stay in bed. Now I have things to do, so I will hit it.

    Have a day folks.

  • Day 1175

    I did not do well yesterday. Travel days are always difficult for me. I will do better today. It is still ridiculously cold out (-5°, with winds it feels like -8°) so I did not have a cigar last night. It is unlikely that I will have one today because I do have to teach this evening.

    My sleep was not great… I woke up a few times trying to figure out where I was. It was weird because I have spent more nights than I can count in hotels. I did get seven hours of sleep… it just was not restorative (according to my fitness watch).

    I am going downstairs to get a cup of coffee because while there is a Keurig in the room there is no milk. I will then make my way over to my client site where, for the first time in four years, I will teach in front of a live audience. Yay!

  • Day 1153

    The long day yesterday was good for me, despite the fact that my weight was up this morning. There was a little more pasta and sauce left over than I thought so I ended up having some for lunch and for dinner. I will be more careful today.

    When I get off of work this afternoon, I will take Her Floofness for a walk, and then I will likely relax on the balcony with a cigar. I do have some prep work to do for my class next week, but I am confident that I will be able to get through it.

    The class I am teaching this week is among the largest I have ever taught online, and it requires a little more work and concentration. Well, I should say that as far as advanced classes it is one of the largest, because my evening class ‘Entry-Level Network Technician’ is actually larger. I will get through it without problems, but I am not lying when I say that I am relieved that I do not have to teach another class this evening as well.

    My meeting in Montreal is now less than a week away, and I am stressed and anxious about it… again. At least this time the likelihood of a debilitating snowstorm is less likely to paralyze my travel plans than was the case in early February.

    Have a great day folks!