Category: Uncategorized

Today is Day One. I have a program buddy with whom I am going to go through the program. We have both done it before, lost a lot of weight and then regained it back. No, I have not regained everything, but I do still hate where I am. Last night she and I spoke (she is in the same province, but lives 500 km from here) and discussed our concerns and anxieties, as well as our hopes. We will stay in touch – it is an extremely difficult program, and having someone to support you is a big help.

Here we go again. I am trying this one more time… but the difference is that the holidays are behind me.

I got an email a few weeks ago – I think it was the morning after I got back from Calgary – that threw my emotions and mental state for a whirl. That is a nice way to say it. I have been a disaster, and I am trying to put the brakes on that.

I ordered a few weeks worth of meal replacements yesterday, although because of the holiday the order will not be processed until today I am sure, if not Monday. That is fine because I have 5-6 days worth of shakes left, and I will continue to be on a partial program for the time being. I think that when the products do arrive, I will stay on a partial regimen. We will see. I need to do something drastic, but it also needs to be realistic and sustainable.

Happy f&cking new year folks.

I did not make it through the day yesterday as I would have liked. I had two meal replacements, and then I made an omelette for dinner… and then I had a couple of carrots… and a bag of popcorn.

This morning was my Lodge’s monthly breakfast for men’s mental health, and knowing how badly I am doing on that front I was not going to skip it. I did eat at the restaurant, and will try to only have meal replacements for the rest of the day. If I falter, then I do so with the knowledge that I have precisely two carrots and one bag of popcorn left in the house.

I saw my doctor yesterday and was disgusted with the numbers I got… but I already knew that I would be. I had decided before going into the appointment that I would be rebooting my program efforts today… AGAIN.

I must sound like a broken record, but let’s try this one more time.

In one day it was great… but not overall.

I am still trying to get on track… I am not there yet.

True to my experience, I have had extremely low energy today. I got a good night sleep, but I have not been able to get anything accomplished. I have a couple of appointments this evening so I will have to get up and go. Wow… and I am not even entirely on the program yet.

I did not post for the last couple of days. I do not feel like writing now, but I decided to drop my streak (at 1,360 days) and start fresh. Today is Kinda Day 1. I am not fully on the program, but I am mostly on it. Tomorrow morning I will finish the last of my eggs, and I will be completely on it as of Saturday. Wish me luck… my last attempt over the summer was doing great… until the company had no product for two months and I fell way off the wagon.

Oops

Yesterday was a hard day. It has been two years since the October 7 massacre and it hurts every day… but the anniversary was especially hard.