Losing a part of me

Category: Walking

  • Day 1046

    After two days of missing it, I hit my steps goal yesterday. I walked four kilometres on the treadmill, in addition to being out and about quite a bit. I was rewarded with:

    • A sleep score of 80, based on 7h20m of sleep
    • A Body Battery of 56 when I woke up… not great.
    • Another drop on the bathroom scale… down 1.2 lbs.

    My sleep score is still not where I would like for it to be, but it has started to get better this week since I am exercising… as well as the new ‘supplement’ that I am taking to help me fall asleep. Yes, I am still waking up with a slight headache, but it is not nearly as bad today as it was a couple of days ago.

    In speaking with Leslie yesterday, she berated me for stopping in to buy almonds. She is right of course. I have to stop supplementing what I am supposed to be eating. It is not just about losing weight… it is about changing my habits. Staying away from the store is a good step toward doing that.

    My plans for today are to stay on track. In a few minutes I will press ‘Save’ on this journal entry, and I will log off the computer. I will change into my jogging kit and get onto the treadmill. After that, I will shower and enjoy a meal replacement. In the afternoon I am meeting with my diet buddy in Yukon; we have not connected in way too long, and it is time… especially since both of us are trying to get back on track.

    The weather is still too windy for me to walk outside, but the forecast is for the wind to die down somewhat by late afternoon, which means I might actually sit out to enjoy a cigar with my wife on a video chat. We will see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1043

    As planned, I drove to Niagara Falls, NY with my buddy yesterday. As expected, I had no issues with the cigars that I declared. I was quite proud of myself that even though I walked into Wegmans (and a few other stores that sell lots of tasty things) I did not buy anything. The only thing I ate was once I had dropped Mitchell off, I stopped at Bulk Barn and picked up a handful of almonds. I really should get into the habit of bringing protein bars in the car with me… just in case. In fact, I think I will take a couple down with me when I go out.

    Okay, I just took two protein bars out and left them near the door where I will not (or at least should not) forget them.

    I returned home from Niagara Falls earlier than I had expected, and since I had not slept very well, I was tired and tried to nap. I rested, but did not manage to fall asleep. At a certain point I gave up and decided to walk… indoors. I cleaned out the area under the treadmill and suited up. I turned on the TV and walked for seventy minutes. My decision to walk specifically for that long was because I wanted to replicate the walking from the two previous days, allowing me to properly recalibrate my fitness watch’s treadmill pace. I don’t think the calibration is exactly right… but it is much better than it was.

    A complete breakfast, a handful of almonds, two meal replacement shakes, and a 7.3km walk on the treadmill. All in all, that accounts to a pretty good day for my program. The results? My weight this morning was down nearly two pounds from yesterday, which comes to a two-day loss of 5.4 lbs., bringing me to within half a pound of that horrible mark. How cool would it be if I could cross under that threshold tomorrow or Saturday? Step one: DO NOT CHEAT.

    This afternoon I am heading out to Grimsby for a cigar with Mitchell before we head to a meeting at the Lodge. I am going to walk on the treadmill before I go so that I can get some exercise in. The variable steps-goal on my fitness watch is now up to nearly 11,000 steps per day, and I would like to extend my current streak to four days. Let’s see if I can do it!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1042

    The Microsoft Word document that I keep these entries in is now 993 pages long. That accounts for 1,147 journal entries comprising over 667,000 words over nearly three years. That is a lot of successes and a lot of failures; a lot of ups and downs (in my weight, my life, my emotional state, and more). It includes a lot of travel… but mostly to Dallas and California and Cuba. It includes a lot of great advice to myself (I do not ever want to give anyone else advice), some of which is easier to follow short-term than long.

    As an example of advice I do not seem to follow through on: I have been very clear that I lose weight faster and feel better when I am exercising. I then let work and travel and life get in the way, and I get out of the habit of exercising. It is maddening because I love doing it, but sometimes it is hard to fit in… and then just like that I am out of the habit of exercising.

    On that note, I did get out for a walk yesterday. While my pace was slower than the previous day, the distance was nearly identical. Whether it was because of the weather, or my choice of shoes, or the fact that I had walked the previous day so my muscles needed to recover… whatever it was, my pace was thirteen seconds per kilometre slower than Monday, and the same route (in reverse) took me 1m50s longer. In other words… not a big difference, and I am really just nitpicking.

    I was hoping that the exercise would help me to sleep. That did not happen. I was in bed early but tossed and turned until nearly 2:30am before I finally nodded off. How I achieved even 70 for my sleep score I do not know. My body battery was up to an abysmal (for the morning) 34. I hope that I make it through the day! There has been speculation that from time to time my cigar smoking might keep me awake. If that is true (and the science suggests that it is) then I can assure you that it has not been a contributing factor these last few days. I have not smoked a cigar since the weekend. That will end today. More on that later.

    Another bit of advice that I give myself and do not follow is not to cheat. I broke that yesterday when I bought a couple of rolls (which I am eating with breakfast) as well as a handful of peanuts and trail mix. I should not have done that. What I should have done was sit in the traffic and when I got home had a shake. No, that is not what I did. Instead, I pulled off the highway and stopped in at Fortinos to buy the cheats. How undisciplined am I? I mean, I was on my way home from Costco and I had protein bars in the car! Why didn’t I just eat one of those? I need to control myself.

    While I did not manage to sleep well, and with my slight cheat yesterday, I still managed to drop about 3.5 lbs. from yesterday. The bowel movement helped, but so too did the exercise and mostly good eating. Hopefully I can continue on that trend for a few days. If I do, then by next week I should be back below the terrible mark.

    When I do go back to eating, I need to eat smaller portions. There is no good reason for me to eat a whole chicken in a day. End of story. Yet there it is, that is what I do. While I commend myself for cutting almost to zero how often I eat at restaurants (I do so occasionally with friends, and when I am with my wife), but when I am alone? I can count on one hand the number of times I have done so in the last six months. All this to say that while I have improved my habits somewhat, I am almost completely negating the improved behaviours by ignoring the bad ones. I have to prepare smaller portions if I want to improve long term!

    I followed my plans pretty well yesterday. I went for a good walk; I came home and had a shower and then a meal replacement shake. I studied for a few hours; I went to Costco to return an item and to pick up meal replacement bars. I got to bed early, although I did not fall asleep. I will try to get to bed early again tonight.

    The original plan was for my friend Mitchell and I to drive down to Niagara Falls, NY tomorrow. He needs to pick up a package, and I’m going to go along for the drive. When I told Leslie she reminded me that tomorrow is American Thanksgiving and that everything will be closed. Because of that, we changed the plan and are driving down there today. I suspect that we will stop off to smoke a cigar, which I have not done in a few days. I might bring some home with me, but it would not be very many… I would declare them, and I do not want to be killed on the customs and duties. We should be home by dinner time, and I will do my best to get a good night sleep tonight.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1038

    I took a nap yesterday afternoon, and paid for it at night… I could not fall asleep. So this afternoon, after I came back from my busy morning, I did the same thing. I know… that was stupid. I told Leslie that I will probably take a sleeping pill this evening (despite how much I hate doing that) in order to try to get back on track.

    I did not write much yesterday, so I did not write about the previous day; on Thursday when I brought my car in to change my tyres I went for a walk. I walked 5km, thinking I was not making very good time. In fact, I was making very good time, despite the lack of athletic shoes. I am not unhappy that I was doing about 9.5 minutes per kilometre wearing my Blundstones!

    I am still not back on track… but I am working on it. Hopefully today was better than the previous few days, and the numbers on the bathroom scale will reflect as much tomorrow. I also mentioned to Leslie earlier today that for the first time in my memory I am getting bored with chicken. While there are a lot of ways I could address that, I decided that once the chicken I have in my fridge is done, I will go back to two meal replacements per day (plus my usual breakfast). I would like to get down not only under the terrible mark, but much lower. I may not be able to do it over the holidays, but if I can get down to 280 lbs. before Hanukkah they I will be quite happy with myself.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1020

    The whole thing about being stopped up is getting kinda boring. I was able to have a small yet painful movement yesterday afternoon, but it did not help much. I am at the point where I did not even bother trying this morning. My weight is up .2 lb. from yesterday and I suspect it will not start dropping until I can finally get past this… blockage. I added a couple of teaspoons of fibre to my meal replacement shake yesterday, and I will do the same today. Hopefully sometime in the next day or two my system can start to get back to normal.

    While I did not get out to exercise yesterday, my walking with Princess Sophie, combined with my visit to the supermarket, brought my steps total to a respectable 8,600. I do not know if it will get that high today, but we will see. My sleep score was 74… not bad, not great.

    I will report that because I had a pretty bad headache for most of yesterday afternoon I did not, as I had planned, opt for the meal replacement in the evening. I prepared a meal of chicken and salad, and then after eating I took Her Floofness out for a walk.

    It is a beautiful day, but I am going to be in class all day (until nearly 9:00pm). Depending on how I feel then, I might be able to sit on the balcony with a cigar… but we will see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1017

    For the second time I messed up when I tried to download my data from my bathroom scale app. Drat. Oh well, I’ll live. At least I know that my weight was down one pound this morning from yesterday, despite not successfully moving my bowels. I am happy with the weight drop, although somewhat less pleased that my system is stopped up again.

    I set out yesterday to top 40km walking since Sunday, which meant that I needed to walk about 7.2km. I did not start out smart, only realizing after I was a kilometre from home that I had not brought a water bottle with me. Doh! Fortunately I am able to use my mobile phone as a credit card, and so at around the halfway point of my journey (along the DNT, where I would be turning back) I stopped off and picked up a couple of bottles of water. The 7.32km walk brought my total for the week to 40.15km. I will call that a definite success.

    Speaking of successes: I cannot find where I had written it, or maybe I just thought it and did not write it in my journal, but I did write that I was disappointed in myself for not dropping below the terrible 300 lbs. mark before this trip, and I remember thinking that I would love to drop at least a couple of pounds while I was here. The trip is not over, but as of this morning I am happy with my progress these last couple of weeks. Yes, after the first few days I had gained several pounds. Since the worst of it (Wednesday last week) I have recovered very nicely, and from my worst weight in a very long time I have now dropped over 8 lbs., bringing me comfortably under 300 lbs. (and for these past several days) for the first time since the first week of October. I have to continue to lose weight which means eating sensibly and continuing to walk. It is far too easy to regain the weight… history has proven that true too many times.

    I was shocked this morning to see the numbers on my fitness watch. My sleep score was an almost unheard of 94. It is rare for that to be above 90, and I feel it. Yes, I feel relaxed this morning after getting 8.5 hours of balanced sleep! My body batter was actually up to a 99 this morning, which I am not sure I have ever seen. I obviously did something right the last couple of days! Hopefully I can keep that up… but I would not count on these being consistent numbers.

    With regard to food: Yesterday morning I had my usual omelette. For lunch we were planning to eat leftovers, and I was relieved when Leslie asked if I minded if she ate the pizza. Mind? MIND? I was thrilled for her to eat it, and to leave me the grilled chicken and salad! We put the leftover falafel and hummus in the middle so I could dip my chicken in the hummus and Leslie could sop it up with her pizza crusts. It was delicious! For dinner we ordered fast food. The main was grilled chicken bites, and yes, I cheated a bit by enjoying the waffle fries that came with it. Sorry… not sorry. Late in the evening I was hungry again… and with so many bad choices that I could have made, I opted for a protein bar. All was well in the world, and I did not go to bed on an empty stomach.

    I do not know what our plans are for today, but I assume they will involve entertaining a nine-year-old boy, so it is doubtful that we will be eating smartly. It is my job to stay within reason on any foods we eat. We have three main meals (I take care of my own breakfasts) before they drop me off at the airport, and then the airport food court. If I can get back to Canada weighing under the terrible mark Monday morning, then this trip will have been (with regards to my weight loss) an overall success. Yes, I cheated several times, but I made up for it.

    When I get back to Canada, I have to remember the simple rules… eat less (and eat smart), and exercise. I know the exercise often falls by the wayside for time reasons… and this week coming I see a big issue right away in that I am taking a class from noon until 8:30pm every day. My plan is to get up, take Her Floofness for her walk, and then after breakfast I will get onto the treadmill. If I need any enticement, then I will remember that there is a lot of TV to catch up on. I know, most of what I watch is trash… we are all entitled to our minor harmless vices, right?

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1016

    My weight was up this morning, but only a couple of ounces. I do not think it is because of my food intake versus energy expended yesterday, rather because my system is backed up again this morning. I hope that sometime today that will clear out.

    A longer than expected walk helped me to reach the goal of 24km earlier than expected. Yesterday I walked 9.25km, bringing my total since Monday to 24.42km. I was quite pleased with myself… if somewhat tired. There are two ways to look at things… I could say that I have done it, and relax today… but I know that tomorrow I will not be able to exercise, and Sunday is a travel day, so I likely will not be able to get out again for a few days. Instead I think I will look at it as a way to smash that previous goal and not just edge past it. I am now setting a new goal: Since Sunday I have power-walked 32.83km. Today I will try to hit 7.2km, bringing my total for the week to 40km.

    Yesterday I was not particularly good or bad with regard to food. For lunch I picked up Falafel plates with salad for Leslie and I. For dinner we ordered curry udon which I had never tried before but really enjoyed. We took her son trick-or-treating and were out for about an hour. He offered me a few bits along the way which I graciously accepted and enjoyed… a piece of licorice and two miniature chocolates. I do not think any of that would have killed my progress. A few of the houses offered the adults more, but we politely declined.

    The weather yesterday was not as hot as it had been, but the entirety of my walk was done in the bright sun. Today will be another cooler day (all things are relative) and the forecast looks cloudy all day. That might make walking a little easier. We’ll see!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1015

    He chose pizza. I ended my entry yesterday by saying that we involve Leslie’s son in food decisions, especially on his first night home. He opted for pizza, which for my taste buds is great but for my weight loss is not. I had no choice of the food, but I was able to moderate my intake. I ate three pieces and not four or more. I know, that is still a lot of pizza… but better to have moderated some than not at all.

    My walk yesterday was excellent. I achieved 8.67km and probably could have kept going. Okay, I was pretty drained when I got in so that would have been a bad idea. I did not walk Tuesday, so my current power-walking since I got to Dallas (which is to say since Sunday) is at 23.31km, but it was not until Monday that I set the goal of walking another 24km during this trip, so Sunday’s walk does not count toward the 24km. Monday and Wednesday’s walks add up to 15.17km, which means that I am one long walk or two short walks away from achieving that goal. I will head out later today and put a real dent into it so hopefully by tomorrow I will only have a very short way to go before hitting that goal. I usually go out for an hour or more every time, which means that I should walk at least 6.5km today… which means that if I roll out of bed hard tomorrow I will make it.

    Speaking of bed, I did not sleep very well last night. I had some things on my mind so not only did I not get into bed until very late, but it then took me a long time to fall asleep. My fitness watch registered a little over six hours of sleep and gave it a sleep score of 74. I am surprised it was that high, but I will take it. It also told me that my body battery was up to 69 which is much lower than I woke up with yesterday, but overall not bad compared to the last month – there have only been six days of the last twenty-eight where it was higher than that; I suspect that is something I should be seeing improvements on as I get back to exercising regularly and hopefully sleeping better… and losing weight!

    Speaking of numbers, the one that is usually most front and centre for me is the one on the bathroom scale. I never expect any sort of weight loss the day after eating pizza for dinner. When I stepped onto the bathroom scale to see a loss of about half a pound I was quite pleased with that… if somewhat surprised. How great would it be if I could actually keep it below that terrible mark for the duration of this trip, and then keep dropping it in Canada?

    I have a few things I have to do today but nothing drastic. I am going to touch base with my wife and then plan out when I will go for my walk. I have some reading to do as well. I hope that we can be good for dinner, but it is often hard with a young child. Today is also Halloween, so we will be taking the boy out trick-or-treating… I will not be taking any of his loot!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1014

    I am usually disappointed when I step onto the bathroom scale to find that I have gained weight, let alone two full pounds. This morning I expected my weight to be up, but not because I ate badly or made poor choices. Yes, I went out for lunch and had panang curry chicken with rice and a couple of spring rolls, but that was not the worst thing I might have eaten. No, I was expecting to be up because I did not believe the numbers on the scale yesterday… the loss was just too extreme. Add to that I was not able to successfully move my bowels this morning, and the two-pound gain was expected, and I was not upset. With that said, my weight is still below the terrible mark, and I am very happy with that.

    I made chicken and salad for dinner last night when was quite healthy, so that probably offset the worst of the effects from lunch. It was to be the last adult dinner that Leslie and I will enjoy during this visit. We then enjoyed two small bottles of ice wine on the balcony with our cigars. I mention that they were small bottles because I do not want to give the impression that it was excessive. We each drank roughly 7oz (200ml) of wine which amounts to 350 calories and 3.5g of sugar. It will be the last of our alcoholic consumption because her son comes home this afternoon and we do not drink when he is here.

    This morning I realized that I had not bought eggs yesterday, and so I had a bowl of breakfast cereal. I actually had two half-bowls, as one of the boxes was empty. For lunch we decided to order sandwiches which should arrive shortly. I told Leslie that as I am planning to go out for a long walk after lunch I did not mind if she wanted to order something high in carbs… specifically the bread. My walk will burn it off and hopefully it will give my system fuel to push myself. Until I get my body back into a state of ketosis I know that the carbohydrates are bad, but they are also what the body burns as fuel. I think my heel is healed enough to push myself farther today, but I will be sure to check my socks before heading out. If I can do 8km then I will be more than halfway to my goal for this week.

    I do not know what we are planning for dinner and will not know until my stepson is here. His first night back we always involve him in the food decisions. With that said, I will have to be mindful of my choices, and if we order in I will not let myself say ‘Oh, I walked, so I can cheat.’

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1011

    I was not expecting great things this morning when I stepped onto the bathroom scale. I wrote yesterday that I prepared French toast for breakfast (with real Quebec maple syrup). We then ordered in fast food (Five Guys) for a late lunch. During the baseball game, Leslie lamented that we should have brought food with us (which meant that she was hungry). I went down the street to the Middle Eastern restaurant and picked up a manakish, essentially a cheese pizza with za’atar. I did not expect to lose weight after eating this poorly. However, I did finally have a decent bowel movement this morning… I think my system was just clogged up for a couple of days. The result: My weight was down nearly (but not quite) one full pound this morning from yesterday. Yay!

    (Note: After writing this paragraph I retired to the W.C. and was able to repeat the success of this morning. It will not apply to this morning’s weight, but maybe tomorrow?)

    We have tickets to see a movie this afternoon. It looks like it will be interesting – a suspense surrounding the choosing of a new pope. I am excited for the subject (it seems to be along the lines of Dan Brown’s DaVinci Code). I doubt it will have the symbological aspects of that book, but it is still of interest to me. Jews do not have any sort of supreme leader, so the whole ritual around the pope is interesting to me.

    My sleep score was up to 84 last night, the highest it has been in a month. That brought my body battery up to about 60, which is still low but better than it has been in a while.

    I did not go out for a walk yesterday, but I think I will go for one now. It is a beautiful day out and we have a couple of hours to kill before we head out to the movies.

    Have a great day folks!