Losing a part of me

Category: Weather

  • Day 1097

    I do not know if today is the coldest day of the year or not, but when I woke up the weather app on my phone read -18°C but feels like -30°C. It is not the coldest I have lived through, but it has been a while. Occasionally people ask me why I want to move to Texas and I tell them that I need to live with my wife, and that is the absolute beginning and the end of it. With that said, on mornings like these (when Princess Sophie walks around the building and then says ‘Dad, pick me up… you can put me down near the front door so that I can poop, but there’s no way I am walking anymore than I have to in this) I am looking forward to living 1400 miles south of here. Yes, it is still very cold down in Dallas (-5°C) but still much warmer than here.

    I was truly angry at my bathroom scale this morning. I did not eat badly yesterday, and yet my weight was still up most of a pound. Argh! At least I slept better; my sleep score was 82, even though I seem to recall waking up several times and thinking that there was no way my sleep would be good. I am glad that I was able to get back to sleep each time.

    It is a new day, and I am going to try to get through it with a positive attitude. I am not sure how that will go.

    Have a great day.

  • Day 1094

    My weight did not drop below the terrible mark this morning, but it is closer than it has been since before Christmas. Another really good day and I just might hit it. More likely, if I am good for another couple of days, then I should drop below the mark.

    I have been in a rut these last few days. I wouldn’t say that I am actually depressed, but I am certainly feeling the blues. I don’t know what is causing it, but it could be in part due to my finances… and of course in part because of the fact that my wife and I live in different countries and sometimes it makes me feel like I am a terrible husband. I am really hoping that I get my visa soon because this is really hurting me. I know that work is picking up – not this week but the following I teach my first class in nearly two months – and that my finances will pick up. As for the visa issue… It has been a very long time and while there are days that I am optimistic, there are also days (like the last few) when I wonder if it might never happen, and I am doomed to never live with my wife. It is disheartening and it really brings me down. How I have managed to not binge-eat all week and gain ten pounds… I just don’t know.

    My sleep score last night was lousy again… or at least it was below 65. I really do need to try to get more consistent sleep. Sigh.

    My knee seems to be better today. I am going to take a slow turn on the treadmill and see how it feels. I am not going to overdo it… Maybe I will walk 2-3 kilometres. We will see. Today is the last reasonably warm day before the temperatures drop to the minus double-digits for the week. That means the following:

    • Walking with Princess Sophie twice a day will not be fun
    • It will be too cold to sit on the balcony with a cigar (although I might still go to friends’ houses to smoke)
    • The change in weather will likely not be great for my of late ache-prone body.

    With that said… how amazing would it be to drop back below the terrible mark in the next few days?

    I am going to try to relax this weekend. I was asked to go to a Lodge event (for another lodge) but decided to stay home. We will see about this evening.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1083

    The cold front continues. The temperatures have been cold but bearable. The wind, on the other hand, has been quite unpleasant on the exposed parts of my body… which in this weather means only my face and ears. My hands get cold too, despite my gloves. Fortunately, I can stick them in my pocket and I’m fine. I wish I did not have to go out again today, but I do… first to a meeting, then to walk Her Floofness again. Sigh.

    I had trouble falling asleep last night, but at least my sleep score was 70 and not worse. Tonight will be better… I hope.

    My weight dropped again this morning, so over a two-day period it is down 4.6 lbs., which is tremendous… but it is also just regulating the ridiculous gains from the previous days. The holidays are over, and it is time to get back on track. I wish my knee were back in form so that I could actually exercise… but that will be in a day or two. I want to get my weight back below that terrible mark!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1067

    This morning’s weigh-in brought me back below the terrible mark once more… if only barely. I am hoping that my knee heals up soon so that I can get back onto the treadmill. I have not been anywhere close to hitting my steps-goal since breaking the streak on Monday, and my fitness watch has now adjusted my goal to 7,240 steps.

    One thing is for sure… there is no way Princess Sophie and I are going to spend a lot of time outside today… the mercury read -15°C (5°F) when we went out for a very brief walk this morning, and despite the sunshine, the forecast high is still only -9°. We literally got to the end of the building when she signaled to me that the snow was painful on her little paws, so I picked her up and brought her back into the house. While she was not a fan the last time we tried them, I am buying a set of dog booties to try again. We won’t have too many days this cold, but still…

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1059

    It was a much earlier morning than I would usually experience on a Saturday. I got up to pee at 5:30am and could not fall back asleep. I had a couple of things on my mind, one of which was the welfare of a friend who is quite elderly who I usually get a response from pretty quickly but who failed to reply to my messages yesterday. When I finally decided that I was going to get out of bed, I found a message from him on my phone which was a relief. That did not change the fact that I was up and at ‘em much earlier than I necessarily needed to be. I took this as a sign that I should go down to the USA this morning to mail my stuff… and I am going to try to meet a couple of friends for breakfast in Grimsby.

    My steps-goal streak was extended to fourteen days yesterday. I hopped onto the treadmill mid-afternoon and jogged 3km then slowed to a brisk walk for another 3km. There were a few distractions I was facing – all in my head – that had me stop between kilometres, but never for more than 30 seconds or so. I would prefer to be able to go right through (as I did earlier in the week) but 6km with a few short breaks is better than nothing. After I came in to get ready for bed, I realized that I was still short about 1200 steps for the day, and so I got onto the treadmill and walked at a reasonable non-exercise pace and knocked off the last bit. With my strategic planning I knew I needed to hit 11,070 steps on the day. As I ended up getting up to check on something before I fell asleep, I ended the day with 11,132 steps. The goal for today is 11,090. When I get back from my daytrip I will get onto the treadmill and get as near to that goal as possible so that when I go out to the brewery this evening I will not be pressured.

    My sleep score was lower than it likely would have been had I fallen back asleep, but knowing that I only slept six hours I am pleased with the 76. My body battery was up to 93 this morning which is also quite a success. My weight, after two days up (a combined 1.6 lbs.), is down again this morning (by 1.2 lbs.) so I am still under the terrible mark, but I have to be vigilant to put more distance between me and that point before the Christmas dinners start. Of course, I do not know what is on the menu for this evening – whether it is finger foods or an actual meal – so I will plan for it by bringing a meal replacement bar… just in case whatever is served should be incompatible with either my weight loss or religious dietary needs.

    It is another very cold morning in Burlington, Ontario. While the temperature should rise briefly to 0° this afternoon, when I took Princess Sophie out this morning the mercury read -12°… not taking the dreaded windchill into account. Looking at the long-range forecast, today is the last bone-chillingly cold day for the week, with high temperatures ranging from 1° to 9° until it finally drops back below freezing next Saturday. Keeping in mind that it is mid-December in Canada, I am not going to complain!

    I guess I should hit the road so that I can get there and back in a reasonable timeframe. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1058

    Despite all of my eager gung-ho attitudes yesterday morning, I did not have the energy to attack the day as I had planned. With that said, I was not about to break my streak. Yes, I took Her Floofness for her two very cold walks during the day, and I went out to pick up and then drop off my cleaning lady at the train station… but with all that, I still did my very best to stay inside.

    The problem was that I did not have the energy. I got onto the treadmill after Sophie and I came back in, and I just could not run. This was partly because I did not have the energy, but also partly because I felt a bit of pain in my ankle. It was not injured, but it felt like it had the capacity to be hurt. I did my best to keep a decent pace, but the instant I hit my steps-goal for the day I shut it down. I completed 4.87km I shut it down and got into the shower. The steps-goal for the day was 11,050. I went to sleep with 11,140 steps recorded (and only because I got up to transfer my laundry into the dryer). Today’s goal is 11,070 steps, and my streak is up to 13 days.

    I have mentioned before that I have been strategically metering my steps so that the daily goal does not jump too high. I am three days short of my best streak (since switching from Fitbit to the Garmin fitness watch), and I do not want to set the bar too high which might force me to fall short. It will be easy to regulate my steps today because I will be home for most of it (not only because it is extremely cold outside, but that is part of it). If I achieve my steps-goal for today that will extend the streak to 14 days… and will bring us to Saturday, the only day where the strategic metering might be difficult. I will definitely make sure to exercise before, but in the evening, I am going to a holiday party for a Lodge, and I do not know what to expect. I doubt that it will be a sit-down meal, and do not know how many steps to expect while milling about. Because of that, I expect that assuming I do extend the goal streak until then, Sunday (the potential Day 16 of the streak) might be the hardest day. I will do whatever I can to beat the streak… even if that means a longer and more arduous Sunday.

    Both my sleep score and body battery were tremendous this morning. My sleep score was 91, and my body battery was an almost unprecedented 99. That means I should be able to jog the full 5km today, depending on a few factors. I still have not decided whether or not to drive down to New York State (I have to decide very shortly) but if I do not then I will make lunch and then hit the treadmill.

    The weather is slowly warming. That is to say that the windchill, which was -20° when Sophie and I went out, is up to -8°. It is by no means warm or comfortable, but at least it is closer to reasonable than it was. It is sunny out as well which makes it pleasant to look out the window. I will try to keep that in mind throughout the day… especially if I decide to stay home.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1057

    My weight rebounded a bit following a bit of a cheat day yesterday, but I am not terribly upset about it. I had a piece of veal for lunch with some eggrolls and salad. In the evening, I had another salad (even though I should not have). Despite running 4km on the treadmill (and walking one more kilometre) my weight was up by about a pound.

    My steps-goal streak is now at 12 days, and once again I strategically hit my goal yesterday and then STOPPED. Garmin had set my goal for the day at 11,030 and I ended the day with 11,100. Today’s goal is 11,050 steps, and I will work to reach that but to not surpass it by too much… again. The aim is to hit the goal without increasing tomorrow’s goal by too much. It is freezing cold out today (the windchill when I walked Princess Sophie this morning was -19° and the wind was cutting into the exposed skin of my face like glass shards. If only I could walk Her Floofness on the treadmill, life would be a little more comfortable the next few days. Alas, that is not an option… but that is where most of my steps will come from!

    Let’s see… my sleep score was 82, and when I woke up my body battery was 77. That is a good sign that what I have been doing is working. I will keep at it. I do want to lose more weight, but for the month of December (that most awful of months for those trying to lose weight) I am relieved that I have gotten below the 300 lbs. mark and will fight to stay below that horrible mark for the entire month. That means I will be turning down some invitations, and others I will accept but will not indulge. I believe I wrote the other day that I was going to eat pizza at Ryan’s but owing to the fact that the delivery took two hours I escaped without that particular cheat. There are some foods I can eat in moderation… pizza and wings are probably two that I should not even try.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1045

    Yesterday was not an easy day for me. It was the thirty-year anniversary of the day I was conscripted into the Army. There are so many memories, so many friends, so many regrets. Everything came right into my consciousness shortly after I woke up, and there I was right until I fell asleep.

    I actually tried to sleep a few times yesterday. I lay down for a nap at 10:45am, but did not manage to get to sleep. I rested for a while but eventually decided to get up and try to go about my day. I tried a few hours later, once again abandoning hope because sleep just would not come. I did get some rest, as well as cuddle time with a doggie… but no sleep. My sleep last night, following the new element that I added to my evening routine, was a little better… I slept a bit over seven hours, and my sleep score was 78. My body battery was up to 73 this morning, and a few hours after waking up it is back down to 58. Reasonable considering the walk with my dog.

    I am going to spend an hour on the treadmill once this article goes live, and then I have to head out to Grimsby for a meeting. Without traffic that will be about a 30-minute drive. I am excited about what I will be doing, but it is not for publication. My only goal with regard to my plan is to stick with it… I have been doing pretty well this week, and I need to stick to it.

    I told Leslie last night that I had decided that this morning my weight would drop below the terrible mark. Of course, this is a silly thing to say; even when I do everything right in a day, it is impossible to be sure that my weight would drop… let alone so significantly (my weight yesterday morning was 301.4). As I got ready to step onto the bathroom scale, I was silently hoping to see a success… and I did. Of course, the fact that my weight had dropped below the horrible mark does not mean that it will stay there… I have to stay on track today, and even if I do that does not mean that the fluctuations will not bring the numbers up again. I have to remember that weight loss has to be about the downward trend, and not about the individual points on the graph.

    Today is the first cold day. When I was getting dressed to take HRF Princess Sophie out this morning, the weather app on my phone read -3° (Feels like: -13°). Knowing that such a difference between actual temperature and ‘feels like’ means that it is very windy, I eschewed my regular sleeveless vest in lieu of my actual winter jacket. I was pleased that it kept me warm… although my extremities (mostly my hands) were still feeling it; yes, I have a great pair of gloves… but I have to remove them to pick up after doggie, as well as to pause my audio book every time another dog-parent approaches. As for the Princess, she still looks at me some days as if to say ‘Yeah, when we met in California and I agreed to be your doggie… this is not what I signed up for!’ Of course, she still does not like wearing her coat. It is interesting that none of my kids particularly like coats either.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1026

    Remembrance Day is always one of those days that is a bit difficult for me. As I walked Her Floofness this morning, a woman with her young daughter engaged me in conversation. How’s the weather, cute pup, and so on. She then said to me ‘I see you are wearing a poppy too. Happy Remembrance Day!’ I said to her that no, it is not a happy day, but a solemn one. As she fumbled with a sincere apology I recovered quickly and told her that she had nothing to apologize for, and that our language does not have a phrase that we use to greet each other with on these solemn days. On any other day I might have just smiled and nodded, but I have trouble with that phrase… to a soldier it is like saying ‘Enjoy the funeral!’… it’s just wrong.

    My knee is still in agony, but I think it is getting a bit better… slowly. The anti-inflammatories that I am taking are helping and while I wish I could boost the dosage, I have to be careful to not do so. They can damage other parts of my body, and I do not want to do that. I have asked my pharmacy to send my doctor’s office a request to refill a prescription for the second gout medication that I sometimes take. I will follow up on that today.

    My weight was down this morning, and I am once again at the horrible mark… 300 lbs. even. I will try to eat properly again today so that in the next day or two I will once again drop under it. I slept well – my sleep score was a very respectable 85, which is better than most nights for me. I have also moved my bowels twice today – once earlier, and once just now as I paused to write this entry. How my body can go three days without is a mystery to me. I think I am going to make sure I take fibre every day for a while.

    The next twenty-four hours will be ‘one of those days.’ I am teaching a class for Germany again, which means I’ll be working from 1am-12pm. Fortunately it is only a one-day (night?) class, so while I will be a bit off, I should not experience the disorientation and jetlag I had last time. I need the work… I want the work! I will take it when I can get it

    Autumn is well and truly here. The leaves are on the ground, and I am wearing a sweater and my vest to take Her Floofness on her walks. While it was rainy yesterday, today is just damp but dry. Pretty soon the winter will be upon us, and I know our weather will get worse before it gets better. I will try to keep my attitude positive… some days it is harder than others.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1018

    There is nothing impressive or noteworthy about a .2 lb. drop… except that did absolutely no activity yesterday, I did not eat particularly well (although I also did not eat particularly badly), and have still not been able to move my bowels these last three days. Down is better than up.

    Yesterday morning I ate a bowl of breakfast cereal instead of my usual omelette. For lunch we ordered sandwiches from Panera; I was good and ordered a vegetarian sandwich and opted for the side of fruit instead of the bag of chips. For dinner Leslie made an angel hair pasta with non-meatballs in a tomato sauce. The pasta she explained were chickpea noodles which I had never heard of, but which tasted just like regular pasta. Other than all of that, the only snacking that I did was I ate half of an apple (a very large apple). The result is that down by .2 is better than up.

    I had another good night’s sleep last night, although (according to my fitness watch) nowhere near as good as the previous night. Anytime I wake up and see a sleep score over 80 I am thrilled… this morning it was 86. My body battery only crept up to a 73, but that is still better than it could have been.

    Today is a travel day, but not until this evening. Yes, my flight only leaves at 6:30pm, which means I have the entire day with my wife and stepson . I will just have to watch what I eat until I get onto the airplane. Well, I suppose I have to be careful on the airplane as well. I bought some almonds and some cashews to snack on if I get hungry. I hope that once I get through security at the airport I can sit down and have a salad for dinner, but I do not know what the timing will be like.

    It is currently 25° in Dallas… and 9° in Burlington. Fortunately the weather will be good to me the next few days, but I am resigned to the fact that we are well into autumn, and that the temperatures in Canada will be dropping substantially. What can you do, right?

    Have a great day folks!