Losing a part of me

Category: Weight Management

  • Day 1019

    My weight was up this morning by more than a pound. As we know, yesterday was a travel day and airports are not conducive to good eating. After Leslie and her son dropped me off I got through the security checkpoint and then found a pub where I could safely get a plate of fish and chips – not great for my diet, but safe for my dietary restrictions. I then boarded the plane with a bag of almonds and cashews which I had picked up earlier in the week. All in all, I did not eat terribly. The problem is that I am still backed up! I am hoping that sometime today that will begin to pass. If not, then I am thinking I might want to take a laxative, or at the very least some fibre. We will see how the day goes.

    My sleep score dropped down to a 67 this morning. I am not surprised because I got into the apartment very late last night, and after greeting Her Royal Floofness I did some unpacking (I wanted to make sure that all of my cigars were properly stored in my humidor), and then did not really get to sleep until 1:30am or so. Despite that I did not sleep in… I was awake around 7:15am as usual, and probably tumbled out of bed around 7:30am. I dove into my usual morning routine, including taking the Princess for her walk, and the day went from there. Hopefully I will sleep better this evening… we’ll see.

    I am auditing a class this week that is set in the Pacific time zone which means I’ll be learning from noon until 8:30pm… a bit of an offset from the norm, but not terrible. I will not be adjusting my wake/sleep schedule at all, but I will adjust my eating as necessary. It is now 1:30pm and I just had my lunch… which for the first time in a long time consisted of a meal replacement shake. Yes, per what I wrote several hours ago in the previous paragraph, I added fibre to it. I will be preparing a full meal for dinner, which I will prepare for the mid-class break (around 3:00pm local time). I will likely have another meal replacement after class (around 8:30pm) but that is all I plan to eat today.

    I went shopping this morning and despite all of the temptations I was true to my plans… I bought milk (despite the expiry date the milk in my fridge had turned), eggs, and vegetables for salad. Nothing more. I was tempted by so many things… and bought none of them. It is a small victory because I will have to do this again and again every time I shop. I know that sometimes I will fail, but I will try to succeed more often. As a simple example, I looked at the bakery section… and walked by. Yes, I like to have a fresh roll with my breakfast, but I was strong and did not buy them… today. I will have to continue to be strong.

    I suppose I should be paying closer attention to my class so I will close here. See you all tomorrow folks!

  • Day 1014

    I am usually disappointed when I step onto the bathroom scale to find that I have gained weight, let alone two full pounds. This morning I expected my weight to be up, but not because I ate badly or made poor choices. Yes, I went out for lunch and had panang curry chicken with rice and a couple of spring rolls, but that was not the worst thing I might have eaten. No, I was expecting to be up because I did not believe the numbers on the scale yesterday… the loss was just too extreme. Add to that I was not able to successfully move my bowels this morning, and the two-pound gain was expected, and I was not upset. With that said, my weight is still below the terrible mark, and I am very happy with that.

    I made chicken and salad for dinner last night when was quite healthy, so that probably offset the worst of the effects from lunch. It was to be the last adult dinner that Leslie and I will enjoy during this visit. We then enjoyed two small bottles of ice wine on the balcony with our cigars. I mention that they were small bottles because I do not want to give the impression that it was excessive. We each drank roughly 7oz (200ml) of wine which amounts to 350 calories and 3.5g of sugar. It will be the last of our alcoholic consumption because her son comes home this afternoon and we do not drink when he is here.

    This morning I realized that I had not bought eggs yesterday, and so I had a bowl of breakfast cereal. I actually had two half-bowls, as one of the boxes was empty. For lunch we decided to order sandwiches which should arrive shortly. I told Leslie that as I am planning to go out for a long walk after lunch I did not mind if she wanted to order something high in carbs… specifically the bread. My walk will burn it off and hopefully it will give my system fuel to push myself. Until I get my body back into a state of ketosis I know that the carbohydrates are bad, but they are also what the body burns as fuel. I think my heel is healed enough to push myself farther today, but I will be sure to check my socks before heading out. If I can do 8km then I will be more than halfway to my goal for this week.

    I do not know what we are planning for dinner and will not know until my stepson is here. His first night back we always involve him in the food decisions. With that said, I will have to be mindful of my choices, and if we order in I will not let myself say ‘Oh, I walked, so I can cheat.’

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 967

    I knew my weight was going to be up this morning. I was not expecting so large a jump! With that said, it might have been worse.

    For starters, we did not end up eating shawarma for lunch yesterday. I came in from my walk and Leslie told me that her stomach was not doing very well, so instead we opted to pick up some ready-made foods from Fortinos. I knew I would be having dinner at my Lodge, so I thought I would be having salad for dinner and was not so concerned. It turned out that the salad they brought was ready-mixed with bacon, so I could not have that; my dinner consisted of bread and cookies. That is not the recipe for weight loss.

    When I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning I was shocked by a four-pound weight gain! I was mortified, but I knew I deserved it. I also knew that that I had not successfully moved my bowels all week. I took Her Floofness for her walk, and when I came back in I prepared my omelette for breakfast. Before I ate, I finally had the urge. I went to the washroom and blissfully moved my bowels. As I had not eaten yet, I decided to strip down and weigh myself again. I had lost over a pound since my early morning weigh-in. While a 2.8 lbs. increase from yesterday is still significant, it was still not as bad as it had been. My goal now is to drop below 285 pounds by next weekend.

    I walked yesterday, but I did not push myself. I knew from the outset that the blisters on my feet were pretty bad, and that if I pushed myself, I would be doing my feet no favours. I walked 7km and did not break 10min/km on any split kilometre. When I came home, I showered, and before I put my socks on I decided to drain the blisters and put bandages on them. Hopefully that will speed up the healing and prevent them from getting worse.

    Happily I saw that my sleep score last night was back up to 85, which is better than the previous night. Woohoo!

    Because I was in Grimsby for my Lodge meeting, I did not walk Princess Sophie last night, opting instead to ask Leslie to do so. She did, and when I got home at 10:30pm we went right to bed.

    I will not be walking excessively today. I will take Sophie out for her two walks (one was this morning of course) and will also get some walking in as Leslie and I run our errands. We are going to have our shawarma for lunch today, although we will probably have the wraps instead of the whole plate, which means we will not have the rice and potatoes. The pita will be more than enough carbs for the day.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 874

    The combination of (mostly) sticking to the program and the addition of fibre to three meal replacements yesterday paid off this morning. I had a very productive (and comfortable) bowel movement, and the bathroom scale showed me down three pounds from yesterday morning. Woohoo! Of course, I should not discount the fact that I also exercised yesterday – forty-five minutes on the treadmill would have contributed to that. It also justified (read: gave me an excuse) to eat a protein bar (before) and some almonds (after). Hopefully in a few days I will be able to get through the day with the exercise, and without eating. I should also mention that I had the rest of my chicken for lunch… but of course, that was planned.

    On June 1 I was down to 276.6 lbs., and then (after a day of gaining weight for no reason) I had that scary day of lethargy which prompted me to step back from the program for the week that I was working… followed by a few other excuses to extend that ‘step back.’ Gaining eight pounds in nine days felt horrible, but I was never going to let it continue. Today I am five pounds up from that weight, and by this time next week I will be under that weight. I know I can do it, as long as I stay true to the program.

    My diet buddy texted me this morning. We are going to have a call in a few minutes.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 866

    Following my first day on the modified program, my weight was up… but only very slightly. .2 lb. is within the margin of error of no actual change, but that does not change the fact that I was hoping to see at least a slight drop. It is, of course, difficult to lose weight when one sits at one’s desk for thirteen hours in a day. I am actually surprised to see that I managed to log nearly 7,500 steps! Walking my dog saved the day on that front.

    My plan for today is to do exactly as I did yesterday with regard to food intake. The only change I will make is that I will try to have my second (last) meal replacement at least an hour earlier than I did yesterday. I was lecturing until 9:15pm, and that is really too late to eat.

    With the fact that these last few days have been mostly negative, let me share at least one bit of positivity: I am wearing my sports jackets. I would not fit into all of them, but at least I am able to wear a few of them. Yesterday I wore the purple one, and today I am wearing the blue one. I am looking forward to being able to wear any of the clothes in my closet again… but that will take some time.

    The meal replacements that I ordered arrived yesterday, and they are the new formula. A lot of the people on my Facebook group had a lot of bad things to say about them, and so I was a little worried. While I still think I prefer the old formula, the new one is not bad. I know I will be able to get used to them.

    Despite my adding fibre to both meal replacements yesterday, I was still not satisfied with my bowel movement this morning. It was not completely zero… but it was not very satisfactory. I know I could have done better, and that if I continue to add fibre then I will.

    It is time for me to get to work… have a great day folks!

  • Day 847

    I did something yesterday evening that I do not remember doing in a very long time: I ate half of an apple. It was a very large apple, and while I could easily have finished it I thought that would be ill-advised. I accomplished this by cutting it in half before biting into it, and I immediately put the other half into the fridge. I was not sure that I would have the willpower to not go back to it later in the evening, but I made it.Woohoo! I also did not eat all of the French fries, opting to prepare a reasonably sized portion, and then putting the rest of them back in the freezer.

    I reached out to my diet buddy, as I promised I would. She is going to be unavailable this weekend, but we are planning to connect the following weekend. I hope she has been doing well, and look forward to catching up with her.

    Yesterday was my last 12-hour teaching day of the week. Today I am teaching from 10am to 5:30pm, and Friday I am teaching from 5:30pm to 9:00pm. It is a relief to get back to a more reasonable schedule, and I hope that I can use that to get some exercise in. These last couple of days I have looked out the window during the day and wished I could change into my running kit and go out for a walk or a jog or some combination of the two. Tomorrow I know I have to take Her Royal Floofness for an appointment, but that is the only daytime commitment that I have. If it is a nice day then I am going to try to push myself to get out for a walk.

    Despite eating pretty well yesterday I was shocked with a two pound gain on the bathroom scale, and I was not pleased about it. If a couple of yogurts and half an apple are going to kill me like that then I should probably just give up. No, I am not giving up… but I will try to eat better today than I might.

    I got very busy after writing the previous paragraphs, and did not get around to finishing… or publishing the article until the following day. Oops.

  • Day 844

    After two terrible days in which I was up a disgusting 5.4 lbs., it was small relief to see another drop on the bathroom scale this morning; even so, I am only down three pounds in the last two days, so I am still net up from Thursday morning, and still over that dreaded 285 mark. It is some comfort to know that while I flirted with it, I did not actually hit the 290 mark. I know that this has all been my fault, and all because of some terrible decisions that I and I alone made. My emotional state be damned, I cannot falter like this. Saturday morning I had gained fifty pounds from my best weight in October, and my clothes do not fit me properly. I have to get back on track.

    I went shopping yesterday and followed the plan. I purchased chicken, eggs, vegetables, and cleaning products. The only cheat item was yoghurt, which I am fairly certain has aided my morning bowel movements. If I can limit them to two per day then I should be fine. If I cannot then I deserve to be a fat slob.

    Last night I lit three candles for Yom HaZikaron – Israel’s Remembrance Day for our fallen soldiers and victims of terror attacks. I wrote the following and posted it on Facebook and LinkedIn:

    Some gave all; all gave some.

    In memory of my brothers from my Army days, both those who made it… and those who did not. Every year on Yom HaZikaron I light the best cigar in my humidor and I lift a dram to their memory and to their honour. I always say that Remembrance Day is not for soldiers to remember… we remember every day of our lives; Remembrance Day is a day for those who did not serve to reflect on what we gave for our countries, and to remember those who did not make it back… or who came back injured, dismembered, disfigured, or with mental trauma from which they might never recover.

    Every year I light a yahrtzeit candle for our fallen brothers. This year I lit one more for those who were massacred on October 7, and for the ones who have fallen in our efforts to retrieve our hostages and to destroy Hamas. I lit a third candle, but not a yartzeit candle, to show the world that all of our remaining hostages are in our minds and in our hearts every day; if every Jew and friend of a Jew or of the Jewish people were to do the same, maybe together we could make a light so bright that the hostages will see that light.

    The full name of the day in Hebrew is יוֹם הזִּכָּרוֹן לְחַלְלֵי מַעַרְכוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל וּלְנִפְגְעֵי פְּעֻלּוֹת הָאֵיבָה‎, or Yom HaZikaron le’chalilei ma’arechot yisrael ve’l’nifge’ei peulot ha’Eiva… or in English: ‘Memorial Day for the Fallen Soldiers of the Wars of Israel and Victims of Actions of Terrorism.’ This year, more than ever, we have all felt the effects of terrorism and war… and the hatred and lies that our enemies spread about us around the world. This year, more than ever, it is important to remember what we as Israelis – and by extension every Jew in the world – live with. It is also equally important to remember that we will continue to survive… and to remember our fallen.

    I stand with Israel. The nation of Israel is alive. We always have been… and we always will be.

    I sat on my balcony smoking my cigar and remembering my friends… and the others. I did not eat and I only drank a cup of tea, which I consider a small victory.

    Have a great day.

  • Day 839

    I was disgusted yesterday morning when I stepped onto the bathroom scale and saw that my weight had jumped back up to 288 lbs., but I also had a very busy and stressful day yesterday, so not only did I not have the time to take any positive steps (such as exercising) to do something about it, but I also did not think to write about it. It was Leslie who told me this morning that I had neglected to post, and I took a minute to write up my thoughts.

    I was relieved this morning when I stepped onto the bathroom scale and saw that my weight had dropped back below 285 lbs. because it meant that the jump was likely a temporary result due to high sodium intake and retaining water. I will also say two things:

    1. Aside from my usual pre-bed pee, I woke up a few times in the night to repeat, and then also had a very strong pee this morning, and
    2. I had my first good bowel movement in several days this morning.

    All of that contributed to getting my weight back down, but that does not mean that I can be complacent. If I am going to do this, I have to do this.

    It took me a long time to fall asleep last night, and so I am pretty tired today. I will try to take a nap before class.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 837

    I was certain that after how I ate yesterday, I would have gained even more weight this morning. Fortunately that was not the case, and I even dropped a pound from yesterday. Today I did not snack much, and I stuck to my breakfast, lunch, dinner, and then a protein bar because I felt like I was not going to make it through the end of my class. Today was my only complete 8am – 9pm day of the week, and I was mostly sitting at my desk. I did walk Her Floofness this morning, and somehow my steps are above 4,000 on the day. In a few minutes my evening class will be over, and I will take her out for another walk.

    I did not sleep well last night. I also did not move my bowels well today. Hopefully both of those will be resolved tonight and tomorrow morning. I also hope that if tomorrow is a nice day that I will be able to go for a nice walk.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 831

    Happy anniversary to my beautiful wife Leslie! A year ago today we were in Westlake Village getting ready to drive over to the synagogue. She was a beautiful bride indeed, and I could not help but realize that I was marrying way up.

    On this, the last day of Passover, my intestinal tract have finally succumbed to the matzah. That’s right, I did not successfully move my bowels this morning. Despite that, I was thrilled to see a drop in my weight from yesterday – nearly a pound! While this evening I will not go nuts, I am happy that I will at least be able to enjoy our anniversary dinner without terrible guilt.

    Today is the final day of Passover which means that at sundown we can resume eating bread… and every other leavened food that contains yeast or any of the other grains we are not allowed to eat. Leslie and I were discussing it this morning, and she mentioned how she is really looking forward to getting back to her normal routine. I thought about it and realized that while I am not looking forward to not having to worry about everything that I eat, I am also not jonesing for bread. I suspect there are two reasons for this. For one thing, I have been Jewish my entire life, which means that for fifty-one years I have been keeping kosher for Passover. Leslie is new to it, and is doing extremely well… but is just not used to the week off from bread. Also, over the last two years of weight management I have cut bread (and all carbs and starch) out of my diet completely for long stretches of time. I prefer the proteins to the carbs, so it is easier for me. With that said, when the server brings the bread or dinner rolls this evening, we will be digging in with gusto!

    Until we head out, my day is open. I am going to go for a walk, my first in some time. After that, I will come home and shower, and will relax. I need it.

    Have a great day folks!