Rosh Hashana has not been nearly as peaceful as it should be. I mistakenly took a contract to teach this week, and I am having a terrible time of it. There are myriad stressors in my life and I really do not know how I will make it through this week. Yesterday I needed to lie down at lunchtime for a nap. I might do the same today.
Blog
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Day 1339
I have not been in a very good way emotionally these last few weeks and it shows. These last two days have been particularly difficult for reasons that I cannot put my finger on. As such, yesterday’s entry was a bit more morbid than it might have been. To be clear for those who are still reading: I am not suicidal. I am just doing badly emotionally.
I slept reasonably well last night, but I ate extremely poorly. I hope that this week I can get back on track. The Jewish New Year begins Monday at sundown. As such I wish I had not taken on the class that I will be teaching this week, but there is nothing that I can do about that now. I hope though that I can use the New Year as a reset for the terrible place I am in.
Have a great day folks.
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Day 1338
A friend saw me yesterday and said I was looking well. I told him I put on a brave face.
There are days when I wish she had killed me. There are days when I think she did.
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Day 1337
My class is over for the day. Wow am I tired!? With that said, a buddy is coming over for a cigar and to catch up and chat. I am looking forward to seeing him.
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Day 1336
It is only when I catch up with old friends with whom I haven’t spoken in a while that it hits me how lousy my year has been personally… and how well things are going professionally. One day the two will synch on the positive and I’ll probably drop dead from shock. It always seems to be either or but never both.
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Day 1334
I got to bed at a reasonable hour last night… and tossed and turned for three hours. That is not the recipe for a good night sleep. I will cut out all caffeine after noon today and hope that does something to improve the cycle. For those of you who are going to suggest sleep aids like melatonin or whatever else, I did take a couple of melatonin gummies before bed. For those of you who are going to recommend something that might not be legal in all fifty states, know that I considered it… but I usually wake up not feeling great after that, and I wanted to be in top form for my class.
Have a great day folks.
