Losing a part of me

Blog

  • Day 1345

    I was a bit surprised by how excited I was to see that my regular meal replacements are once again available. I checked yesterday afternoon (I have been checking on a regular basis since the last time I tried to order them) and was thrilled. I ordered a number of boxes, and it looks like after Yom Kippur I will be able to restart my program. What a relief.

    The past year has been terrible in so many ways, and I only hope that as we embark upon the Jewish year 5786 things may start to get better. I am not holding my breath, but I am praying for it.

  • Day 1344

    I am trying to get my mental state back in check so that I can get off this downward slope into despair but it is just not working.

  • Day 1343

    Rosh Hashana has not been nearly as peaceful as it should be. I mistakenly took a contract to teach this week, and I am having a terrible time of it. There are myriad stressors in my life and I really do not know how I will make it through this week. Yesterday I needed to lie down at lunchtime for a nap. I might do the same today.

  • Day 1342

    Oops…

  • Day 1341

    Today is going to be a very long and stressful day. Wish me luck!

  • Day 1340

    I have rested today. I just don’t feel like writing.

  • Day 1339

    I have not been in a very good way emotionally these last few weeks and it shows. These last two days have been particularly difficult for reasons that I cannot put my finger on. As such, yesterday’s entry was a bit more morbid than it might have been. To be clear for those who are still reading: I am not suicidal. I am just doing badly emotionally.

    I slept reasonably well last night, but I ate extremely poorly. I hope that this week I can get back on track. The Jewish New Year begins Monday at sundown. As such I wish I had not taken on the class that I will be teaching this week, but there is nothing that I can do about that now. I hope though that I can use the New Year as a reset for the terrible place I am in.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1338

    A friend saw me yesterday and said I was looking well. I told him I put on a brave face.

    There are days when I wish she had killed me. There are days when I think she did.

  • Day 1337

    My class is over for the day. Wow am I tired!? With that said, a buddy is coming over for a cigar and to catch up and chat. I am looking forward to seeing him.

  • Day 1336

    It is only when I catch up with old friends with whom I haven’t spoken in a while that it hits me how lousy my year has been personally… and how well things are going professionally. One day the two will synch on the positive and I’ll probably drop dead from shock. It always seems to be either or but never both.