Losing a part of me

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  • Day 794

    I did not weigh myself this morning before heading to the airport. That is because I did not sleep one minute last night. I hope I will be able to sleep on the plane. Our story:

    At 10:15pm I was in bed and ready to sleep four hours. That would not be much, but I would be able to get by on that if I had to… as long as I do not try to do it too often. At 11:10 my phone binged with a travel alert. I looked and it told me that my 6:00am flight was delayed until 10:15am. At first glance, that was not a bad thing… I would be able to get four more hours of sleep! I then did a little math in my head, and I realized I had better check with the airline. It’s a good thing I did… I was going to miss my connecting flight, and they were only able to rebook me for Wednesday! That would not do…

    I spent half an hour trying to communicate with someone at American Airlines… to no avail. I was on hold on the phone (approximate wait time: eight hours), and I was in a queue with their website chat agents (approximate wait time: two hours). I was not a happy camper! Of course, they were giving me the option to cancel my flight… they were not going to refund it, but they would give me a flight credit. How generous of them… not.

    You know what? I will be flying again shortly, whether back to Cuba or elsewhere, so I decided to bite the bullet and see if I could find a comparably priced ticket for today. Sure enough, United Airlines was able to accommodate me. It was somewhat more expensive, but I did not really have a lot of choice… I have paid for the apartment in Havana, and I have arranged several meetings with friends and others that I did not want to have to scramble to change.

    I had some issues paying for the ticket… one of my cards was recently lost, one is close to its limit, and one (which is nowhere near its limit) just didn’t work. While the fourth card did have issues (or rather, their website had issues with it) I was finally able to get it through.

    By the time i was able to fix my Cuba travel documents the clock read 12:30am, and I was still wired from the scramble to fix everything. I knew that it would take me a while to calm down, at which point if I did fall asleep, I would never have been able to wake up. I ordered my Uber, then I got dressed and schlepped my luggage downstairs.

    I should mention that I have never arrived at the airport before the check-in counters were open; once I was checked in, through security, and cleared by US CBP, it was a little after 3:30am… and the restaurants do not open until 4:30am. I was glad I thought to grab a protein bar as I walked out.

    So here I sit, fed, and waiting patiently for my flight with a cup of coffee. As I do, I guess this entry is supposed to be about how I did yesterday. I had breakfast with Lyle and Dorothy… corn meal waffles with maple syrup. Yum! I then drove to Cambridge to enjoy a cigar with Ryan et al. I was planning to leave there by 3:00pm, and I was close… I was in my car by 3:20. I got home hungry so I prepared my dinner, then started packing. With all of the gear I brought for charity and for friends I cannot think of too many times I have packed that much without actually moving. I checked two large suitcases (weighing 25kg each), and I have two sizeable carry-on bags (which I have not weighed, but they are significant as well). On my return flight I expect I will have an entirely empty large suitcase, and my larger carry-on bag will be packed inside it. The other bags will still be half the weight and not nearly bursting the seams. I am just glad that I was able to give the airline the two larger bags when I checked in.

    What else is going on… let me think: my return flight is going to require me to spend the night in Houston on my way home. Drat… but there is a possibility that I might be able to make lemonade with that lemon! We’ll see. I was able to let Johnny know that I would more than likely be late for our 4:00 meeting. I still have to let Sue know what happened and that I will need her to take care of Her Royal Floofness for one more night. I have sent a few other texts to people who might be affected by the changes, but do not expect answers until a reasonable hour.

    I am surprised that my step count is only just over 2200… although that is 2150 steps higher than it would normally be at 5:10am were I not traveling. By the time the day is over I am sure that will be up to 18,000 steps… but if it is not I will still not fret. I had a bit of a cheat breakfast today, but my usual routine in Havana should have me expending a lot more energy than I eat. Assuming my weight this morning would have been what it was yesterday, I would love to be 5-6 lbs. down the morning after I get back to Canada. How do I do that? A lot of walking, mindful eating, and only moderate drinking.

    Have a great day folks… and I will see you in Havana!

  • Day 793

    It was a relief to see the numbers on the bathroom scale drop significantly from yesterday morning, taking me mercifully below the dreaded 280 lbs. mark. Hopefully I will be able to drop another few pounds on vacation, which is not something I would normally say… except I know that I do not overeat in Cuba, and that I do a lot of walking.

    Yesterday was a good day. I finished my class exactly as expected, and then ran to the bank to exchange money. I then came home and made dinner, after which I lit the candles and said my prayers. I selected a magnificent cigar to enjoy on the balcony, which I paired with a lovely rum. I overpoured the rum, but rather than overindulging, I threw the last bit out. I was having such a lovely time that I decided to enjoy another cigar.

    My sleep score was high, and while I had some trouble falling asleep, I mercifully did not have an alarm set, so I was able to sleep until I woke up at 8:30am.

    I tried to check in for my flight, but I forgot that when flying to Cuba through the United States, you need to check in at the airport. Drat. Her Floofless has been walked, and I now have a few things to do, which will start with joining my friends Lyle and Dorothy for breakfast.

    Have a great day folks! I will try to write from the airport tomorrow… and if not, then Havana!

  • Day 792

    My weight dropped this morning, but not below the dreaded mark. I will keep trying. I just finished working for the week, and I have to run to the bank to exchange money. After that, I have a few things to do around the house, and I have to take Her Royal Floofness for her walk. I do not think it will be a long walk at the snow has been coming down all day, but I am going to give her that opportunity. After that… dinner, and then I have a video chat. Hopefully the snow will still allow me to smoke on the balcony… even if I need to light the heater.

  • Day 791

    I was on my way down the rabbit hole last night when I got another message… this time I responded. I have no idea where this is going to go, but for now there was a positive conversation in which we discussed the root cause of a lot of our issues… and in which we clarified that I did not have sex when I was in Cuba. Where do we go from here? Another conversation I suppose… and then another. We will see where it leads. 

    My weight jumped a pound this morning, and is back above 280 lbs. again. This is the last time I will write that. I am done gaining weight. I am redoubling my weight loss efforts effective today. I am not buying any more bread or yogurt or breakfast cereals or anything else that might be hampering my progress. Yes, I have gained forty pounds back since the beginning of November. Whatever might happen with anyone else… that ends now. It is time for me to pick myself up by my bootstraps and reclaim the ground that I have lost. 

    Have a great day folks. 

  • Day 790

    I lost nearly a pound from yesterday, despite some stresses that I will not go into. Yes, I ate more than I should have. I even had a glass of wine with my friend in the evening. Still and all, yesterday was not nearly as bad as the previous day… except for one thing which I will not go into. I am doing my level best to put that stress and anxiety aside until the weekend. I will try to deal with it either Friday evening or Saturday, but I do not want to take it with me to Cuba.

    My weight drop this morning took me back below that abhorrent 280 lbs. mark that I peaked above yesterday. I cannot believe that after all of the work that I did over two years, one terrible, horrible, disastrous occurrence in my life has thus far caused me to gain back forty pounds. I have to get back on track. Ten days in Havana will be the beginning of that; the week that I am back I am going to try to get back onto my extreme program for at least a few days. We’ll see if I can do it. In the meantime, I have to just stop eating so much, and I have to stop making such bad choices. I hope that can stop right now.

    If you are wondering how screwed up I am… I accidentally (and irretrievably) wiped out two hard drives in one of my main systems, which means that when I am back from Cuba, I will have a lot of work to do to recover from. I am trying to start now… but wow, did this screw me up.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 789

    I would have had decent things to write yesterday had I had the time, but alas I did not. And then… Then I had some bad thoughts last night. I started thinking about calling her… reaching out to talk to the person who I thought was and would forever be my person. That would not have been a good idea, but it put the thought into my head, and I started eating. I ate way more than I ever should in an evening. The result? After a two-day streak of losing weight, I gained… a lot. For the second time in a week my weight jumped by a ridiculous amount. It actually peaked over the 280 lbs. mark for the first time in a very long time. I have to get control of it… but I also have to deal with my emotions. I have five more days until I am on an airplane, and I will lose a bit of weight in Cuba. After that, I might return to my extreme program for a week or two… just to get back on track.

  • Day 788

    I almost forgot… I’ll write tomorrow.

  • Day 787

    I was much better yesterday than I have been in a couple of weeks. I had my regular breakfast of an omelette, then lunch and dinner were both seasoned chicken prepared in the air fryer. Lunch was eaten with a side salad, dinner with a salad and rice. In addition to that, I walked to the bank and back – a 6.5km jaunt (at a decent pace) which contributed to my highest step-count day since I was in Cuba (14,400 steps). All in all, I was quite pleased with that. I would have been more pleased if the bathroom scale had given me back more than the 1.2 lbs. that I lost this morning from yesterday’s ridiculous gain.

    My plans for today include trying to stay on track as I visit with friends to smoke cigars. It is St. Patrick’s Day so I have to assume there will be some sort of festive food offered to me. I will try to summon the willpower to resist.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 786

    I cheated yesterday. I had a hard emotional evening and went a bit nuts with frozen egg rolls. I did NOT deserve to gain four pounds this morning. Argh!

  • Day 785

    My weight did not go up or down this morning. That is what happens when you cheat and indulge in a couple of rolls after dinner, and then a couple of yogurts later in the evening. Still and all, I am glad that I did not gain weight from it.

    My weight loss buddy sent me pictures from the Mayan Riviera in Mexico last night. I am so happy for her. I am also counting down the days until my next trip… we are into single digits.

    Have a great day folks!