Losing a part of me

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  • Day 804

    Houston… what a terrible airport. United… what a terrible airline. I am looking forward to getting home, that’s all I can say.

    I was optimistic in my thinking when I said I would arrive in Houston by 5:30, be check into the hotel at 6:15, and would head to Blend Bar for the evening. It never occurred to me that I would not get out of the airport for over two hours, including a ridiculous ordeal trying to get an Uber. By the time I was settled into my room it was 9:00pm and I was hungry. I headed down to the restaurant, where I was planning to redeem both drink vouchers the manager of the hotel gave me.

    I was almost very bad. I almost ordered Buffalo wings… in fact I did, but immediately changed it to a hamburger. While that is not exactly a healthy meal, it could have been much worse. I cannot have Buffalo wings until I am sure that I can have a reasonable amount of them, and only occasionally. I had a beer with dinner, and a glass of red wine after dinner with a cigar outside. I got back to my room around 10:30. I reorganized my luggage (making sure to pack my Duty Free rum into my checked luggage), and then got into bed to wind down for a bit before sleeping.

    I slept well but not enough – I could have added 90 minutes to my total had I not opted for the cigar, but that was my choice. I was out of bed five minutes prior to my 6:00M alarm, and went about my morning bathroom rituals. Today was the first day in ten that I had Internet while sitting in the loo, and I checked my email and social media before taking a lovely shower. I closed my suitcases and took them down so that I would not need to return to the room after breakfast.

    The hotel itself was very comfortable, and the front desk staff last night (as well as the restaurant) were great. Their shuttle service, on the other hand, was lousy. I emailed the GM (with whom I made friends) and he apologized, telling me that yesterday they turned in their 15-seat van for a much smaller one in anticipation of a slower season… so when I got there in time the driver told me ‘too bad, so sad… o room.’ I had to either pay for my own taxi, or wait until the next one (30 minutes later). Grrr.

    Honestly, the hotel room and restaurant were great; everything else since I got to Houston was a shit show, up to and including the rude and dishonest service on the airplane out. I will not bore my readers with the details, but suffice it to say that I will be glad to be back in Canada. I should also mention that the CBP officers were very polite and efficient, and do not EVERYTHING in the Houston airport sucked… only most things.

    I probably had slightly more breakfast that I normally would, but I don’t think it was a real cheat. The only real cheat in Houston was a bag of chips after my cigar. I am hoping that the disgusting g airline actually lets me purchase food on board, but I am not holding my breath. Judging from Little Miss Sunshine who ‘helped’ me before we took off, I rather suspect that I’ll be lucky to get a warm glass of spit. If they do actually have what is listed in the magazine, I will have a chicken wrap and a can of chips.

    It is presently 10:30am CDT, which means 11:30 in Toronto. We are scheduled to land around 2:15pm, and if all goes well I should be home by 4:15. I’ll run out to pick up a quick bite before class, and will be ready at my computer at 5:30pm. As I said to Leslie earlier, I am not expecting to be able to relax and breathe until a little after 9:00pm tonight. I am really hoping to get a good night sleep in my own bed; with Her Royal Floofness snuggled into my back.

    Tomorrow morning I will step onto the bathroom scale for the first time since March 23. I am hoping for a five-pound drop, but as long as I did not gain weight I will be happy. It is great that I am not expecting to gain weight after a vacation… that is usually when people do. My last weigh-in before leaving Canada was a relief for having dropped back below 280 lbs., and I really want to stay there… and then hopefully get below (and stay below) 270 before my upcoming trip to Dallas. I hope I can make it!

    I got notification yesterday that my new shirts and sports jacket are arriving tomorrow! It usually takes eight weeks from when I order them, and they have never come in 5 weeks. I am excited but also a little scared… on the 23rd I weighed 12 lbs. more than when I was fitted for them. I am hoping they fit well, and that I do not have to lose a few more pounds until I wear them. I am going to do my best.

    With spring coming I might not be using the treadmill very much, only because I want to walk outside. With that said, I have to remember that April in Canada is usually a wet month, and so I have to make sure that if I am not going out then at least I will not be stagnant. I texted my neighbour who is caring for Her Floofness and she told me that it is raining today and tomorrow, so while I might take Floof out for a bit, a power walk is unlikely… not that I would have the time to anyways.

    I will try to do some quick grocery shopping before my class so that I will be have food in the house for tomorrow morning. I think I still have enough eggs and milk, but I do not remember what else I might need. I have spent the last ten days eating in restaurants and i want to get off that cadence starting with dinner tonight. It is unlikely that I will have time to cook, but at least I can pick up something ready to eat from the supermarket deli counter.

    I am wearing long pants for the first time since I checked into my apartment in Havana on the 24th. It feels a bit weird, but in truth I should have put them on before smoking my cigar in Houston. It was a bit nippy out, at least compared to the weather in Havana. I am sure the 51 sunny degrees I experienced this morning will feel like heaven when I land in Toronto, but that’s life. I only wish I had thought to pack a warmer shirt than I did – I do have a long sleeve guayabera that I had I tended to have to change into when I was on the plane, but as I reorganized my bags to lighten my carry-on, I suspect I packed it into one of my suitcases. Oops! I’ll change at the airport in Toronto once I collect my luggage. I do have a sleeveless vest that I packed in my knapsack so even if my luggage is lost I’ll have SOME protection from the elements.

    What else is going on? I have a lot in my mind right now, and am trying to organize my thoughts. When I spoke with the young man from Chabad in Havana he told me they desperately need any Judaica, especially books, and that they do not even have a Torah. I am not sure what I can do about that but I know I am going to look into it and see what I can do to make that right. We will see.

    One week from tomorrow will be a special day for me, and I am looking forward to it. I am not talking about it now, but hopefully after Thursday next I’ll be able to say something. I honestly am not sure what I am getting into with it, but it is all about helping people and charities. How can that be bad, right?

    Okay, it’s 11:00am and I’m going to shut the phone and see if I can get that chicken wrap. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 803

    I got back to my apartment at 2:00am and decided it was better to start packing before I went to sleep, rather than rushing it and trying to do everything in the morning. It was not at all surprising that although I came down with two suitcases that weighed 60 lbs. each and two carry-ons that weighed 25 lbs. each my two suitcases (which included my larger and heavier carry-on) weighed less than 60 lbs. combined, and my knapsack that I am carrying on weighs probably 20 lbs. From the beginning it was my intention to leave a ton of stuff (much of which I collected from my generous friends in Canada) with my buddy in Havana who is a Mason; some of it was for him and his family, most of it will be distributed by his lodge. It feels incredible to be able to help the poor Cuban people who need it; it feels wonderful to be traveling home with a much lighter load than I came with.

    Yesterday was another good day, both with regards to walking and with food intake. Late in the evening I was hungry and thought about enjoying a protein bar, but instead I opted to go to sleep with a slightly empty stomach. According to my phone (which I know is not as accurate at my fitness watch) I walked nearly 18,000 steps and climbed sixteen flights. There is nothing wrong with that!

    As I write this journal entry I am sitting in the airport in Havana. After passing through all of the checkpoints I purchased a bottle of booze at Duty Free, as well as some crackers and wafers. I gave my buddy the last of my US Dollars this morning, after putting aside enough to get to the airport and $5 extra for a cheese sandwich (which I am slowly savouring as I write). I was hoping that my Canadian credit card would work at Duty Free, but it did not, and I was relieved to have Canadian Dollars. The exchange rate is lousy, but the bottle that I purchased is not available in Canada, and as long as the US does not confiscate it from me, I should not have a problem. I have an hour and a bit before my flight boards, and while I will not be connecting to the Internet (which means it will not publish until I land in Houston), I am happy to have a relaxing time to sit and put down some thoughts.

    I love helping the Cuban people, and am happy to have the ability to do so. What sometimes jades me is how blatantly the people in the street size you up and try to separate tourists from their money. Last night as I was walking home a lady (in the loosest sense of the word) accosted me in a vain attempt to get me into bed (and for her to get into my wallet). This was not the first time that has happened to me, and I was not in the mood to even stop walking. As I kept telling her no, she asked why. I eventually told her that she was not my type. She asked what was my type, because she has a friend. I told her that I only like boys. This shocked and offended her… but after a snide comment it also got her to leave me alone. (For those who are wondering, it was as blatant a lie as I have ever told, as I clearly am quite straight!)

    This morning a guy saw me walking with a couple of bags that I was taking for my buddy. He said ‘Is that for me?’ I told him that it was not. He then started playing upset that I help others and not him, and that he says hello to me every time I pass by ‘his corner.’ I looked at him straight and told him that am happy to say hello to everyone, but with 400 people saying hello to me in Old Havana every day, I do not have the wherewithal nor the desire to help every single one. I say hello because it is the nice thing to do, but if he is doing it solely to get something from me then he should not say hello to me anymore. He got pissed off… but he pissed off.

    I may be exaggerating with the number 400, but not by much. There seems to be an entire brigade of people trying to get you a taxi, sell you cigars, give you a tour in a classic car (or walking), or sex with their sister mother daughter aunt or grandmother. Every single person wants to change your dollars, or wants you to help the me to buy medicines or bread for their children or grandmother. Everyone has a sob story, and every one of them is well trained in sizing up tourists and figuring out an angle. While I joke about it from time to time, it really does get boring in a hurry. When I give something to someone in the street I do not know where it will end up. When I give it to the Freemasons I know that it will be distributed to people who really need it, and not to people whose job it is to con tourists.

    That is not to say that I do not give money to some people in the street. Sunday evening I was sitting at a café when a man walked by wearing a kippa and wearing a Star of David. I stopped him and spoke with him, and gave him some money. Saturday evening I was waiting for a friend outside a restaurant when a man approached me on crutches; he had one leg, and his one foot was obviously in trouble. I gave him some money (and spent time talking with him), but what he wanted I could not give him. He wanted hard currency… dollars and Euros. He said he needs it to buy his medicine. Whether or not that is true, I did not have sufficient money in my pocket… and when he told me I should go back to my apartment to get it for him, I told him that I could not. I feel terrible for him and for all of the Cuban people, but there is only so much I can do. If I gave every person in the streets that needed money for (fill in the blank) only one dollar, I would not have money to eat… let alone take care of my friends who also have their sad stories.

    I feel terrible that I get jaded, but the incessant onslaught of people obviously trying to scam me gets old fast. I feel terrible that I cannot help everyone… but I do not have that kind of money. I try to find a balance between not making eye contact with all of them and not letting my heart harden to their plight. I am reminded of my visit to Mumbai, how sad it was seeing the dichotomy between the opulence of the palatial hotel I would spend my evenings in and the modern and secure office complex in which I spent my days, and the throngs of people living in lean-to hovels along the road who had nothing. It was hard to see that. It’s hard to see the plight of the Cuban people as well… but while none of them live well, I know that none of them are going to starve to death, and they all have somewhere to live. Knowing that the tourist areas are well-manned by these hawkers and such, I have to decide each time I come whether my love for the city is enough to keep me renting the cheap apartment off the beaten path, or if I am better off at a hotel. So far the apartment and the real Havana keeps winning out.

    My plane leaves in an hour, and I am going to make my way upstairs to my gate. I was disappointed to learn that I will need to collect my luggage in Houston, but that’s life in the fast lane. I only wish I did not have the overnight layover. I miss my dog and I miss my bed. The hotel bed tonight will be much more luxuriant than the one I have been sleeping in this trip, but Princess Sophie will not be in it. I look forward to seeing her tomorrow afternoon when I finally do get home.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 802

    As expected, my fitness watch battery died yesterday. Oh well!

    Today is my last complete day in Havana. Add to that, I have to try to teach tonight! I am not sure if my plan will be successful but I am going to try.

    I’ve been walking a lot, eating mostly well, and hope to have a good surprise waiting for me when I step onto the scale Thursday morning. Here’s hoping!

  • Day 801

    I slept more last night than I have been but am more tired today than I have been all week. I think I’m going to take a nap!

  • Day 800

    I had a great day yesterday but for whatever reason I did not sit down to write. Oops.

    I continue to sleep very little but am not at all tired throughout the day. That might have something to do with how much coffee I drink when I am here… or it might just be because of the air. Either way, I am relaxed and happy on four or five hours per night.

    My fitness watch battery is at 5% and I will be happy if it makes it through one more day. If not, then I will have a couple of days without measurements in the app… but I will still be walking and aiming for 15,000 steps per day. I will continue to eat smartly. I am still hoping to be very happy with my weight when I step onto the bathroom scale Wednesday morning. As it is, the Hawaiian shirt that I could not wear Monday seems to be a bit more comfortable today. I promised someone I would send them a picture of myself in it, which I was able to do this morning, so I see that as an indicator that I’m doing well. The scale will tell the numbers, but more importantly the way my shirts and sports jackets fit is more important.

    I am meeting my steps goal every day without a problem. As was the case on my last visit here, the only vehicles I have been in are taxis to and from the Hotel Nacional with friends. To be honest, I did take a cab back alone that night, but it was late and I wanted to see a friend before their shift ended. I made up for it by walking another few thousand steps before turning in.

    It is amazing how many Jews I have met on this trip, which is to say that I have met at least six of them… including one native Cubans who is with the local Chabad house. I confess it never occurred to me that there would be one! Last night at dinner the guys at the next table were from Tel Aviv and we had a great conversation. They asked me why I wear my kippa here instead of a hat. I told them that had I been wearing a hat then I would never have met most of the Jews that I have met. Havana is a very safe city and Cuba is very accepting of all religions (while not condoning any one of them), but if someone does not like the fact that I am Jewish (and Israeli) then I like knowing… and if they confront me then I’ll happily handle that situation. In the meantime, I was able to light my Shabbat candles in my apartment last night. I was alone, but as I lit them I know that I was with all of the people I pray for, and with the whole Jewish nation. There is n irony to being able to do this freely in a country that is so poor and the people are oppressed… just like we have been so many times.

    It is another gorgeous day and I am enjoying my second day cup of coffee at my buddy‘s bistro. In a little while I will head out for my day. I have to stop by my apartment because I took my laptop bag to bring him some things, and do not want to have to carry it all day. I will then set out to enjoy the rest of my day. It is the Sabbath, and I will take it easy… but if that were the only definition of the day then this entire week has been Sabbath!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 799

    I think I forgot to write on Friday. Oops! Consider this a filler post to retain my streak

  • Day 798

    It is going to rain soon so I am sitting comfortably in the upstairs lounge of Johnny’s bistro. In a little while I’ll head out to go replenish my cigar stock, and then will go hunting vittels for lunch. I have a phone call to make around 2:15 so I will make my way to my friend Gloria’s hotel (even though she is not working until later) because it is traditionally the place with the most reliable Internet.

    I was disappointed to realize that I did not bring a charging cable for my fitness watch, which means that either today or possibly tomorrow will be my last day tracking steps until I am back home. Oh well… I will still do a lot of walking!

    I slept slightly more last night than the previous two… but not by much. I find that I can go longer here than I usually do in Canada… despite the walking. That might have something to do with how much coffee I drink here!

    Johnny and I will have lunch and then another friend and I are hopefully going to have dinner this evening. We have missed each other twice, and if it does not work out then it will just not happen this trip because of work schedules. What can you do?

    I am feeling good about my food intake and choices this week, and hope that when I finally step onto the bathroom scale next Wednesday I should be pleased with the number.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 797

    What a shock… the Internet is not working today. Why not? Cuba. I am only very slight pit off by the inconvenience, and will not lose one minute’s enjoyment for that. I will have e to try to tether at some point to speak to someone, but other than that I have no real need to be connected while I’m here.

    Yesterday was a typical day for me insofar as a lot of things did not happen as planned, and I had a lovely day nonetheless. The only issue that I had was the disrespect shown to me by two groups of people… sometimes it happens from Cubans, but tourists seem to take the concept of Cuban Standard Time a little too quickly. A couple that I met on the airplane were supposed to meet me in the morning but they did not show up. I was not bothered one bit by that because the plans were very fluid… I knew when we discussed it that either we would connect or we would not. They reached me by phone at 2:30pm and asked to meet for lunch – they would meet me in 30 minutes. They showed up 75 minutes later, which only slightly irked me in that I was not hungry, but I did not want to eat lunch at 4:30pm knowing that I had dinner plans (which fell through because of someone else disrespecting my time).

    I want to be clear that the couple did not intentionally disrespect me. They were in Cuba for their first visit, and thinking that their credit cards would work, they brought almost no cash. This was a huge and disastrous mistake for an American tourist to make when coming to Cuba. Fortunately I was able to bail them out before they went hungry – they transferred money to my US account and I got Cuban cash here. Again, I am only happy to help. What inconvenienced me was that they told me we were probably going to have dinner (my other plans fell through). At 9:15 they promised they would confirm or cancel within 15 minutes. They decided to eat in their hotel which was not a problem for me; the problem was that they did not call to tell me, so I waited over an hour before cutting bait and going to eat. I do not ever like to eat at 11:00pm.

    With the exception of the times I ate reasonably yesterday. I hate that I ate late at night, but other than that I did fine. I also walked a lot – I believe I did over 15,000 steps before midnight, and I know I walked 5,000 steps before calling it a night. I am not worried about my weight but I know I am not gaining this week (so far).

    I could write more but I’m just trying to enjoy my day. It is sunny and hot and I am loving it.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 796

    Yesterday was a wonderful day from beginning to end. IY”H every day should be as good.

    After the ridiculously long, stressful, and expensive two-day span that was Saturday into Sunday, I landed in Cuba only one hour later than I had originally planned for, and was at my apartment by 4:30pm. I did not unpack, but I did go into my suitcase to find a pair of shorts and my sandals (I had changed into a short-sleeve shirt on the plane from Toronto to Houston) and I went out to meet my buddy only a few minutes later than expected. He and I spent the evening together, enjoying a coffee and then dinner… followed by another snack a little later. I was back in my apartment by 11:00pm, and while I was quickly running out of juice, I had to unpack and organize my kit before turning in. I turned on the water heater so that I would be able to shower before getting into bed, which I was finally able to do by 12:30am. I slept like the dead.

    I seldom eat well on travel days, and what with all of the stress and anxiety of the entire ordeal Sunday was no exception. After everything, I should have turned it off… but as we sat in the cafe-bar toward the end of the evening, as Johnny devoured his desert I compounded it by indulging in a plate of French fries. I knew it was wrong… and I did not and do not and will not feel bad or apologize for it. My step count for the day was 14,000, and my stress count was through the roof. I deserved every morsel and every calorie that I ate Sunday.

    Yesterday would have to be better… and it was. I did not eat breakfast, partially because the restaurant I had planned to eat at was not open yet, but also because I met a few guys from Kentucky at my buddy’s cafe and nibbled on a piece of their toast. For lunch I had a plate of pasta (which in Cuba is a reasonable size, and not what one might get in a restaurant in North America). Dinner was a plate of fried plantains and a chicken dish that likely had the nutritional value (or lack thereof) of an order of General Tao’s chicken… but again it was a reasonable size. I walked 17,000 steps throughout the day, enjoyed many cigars and cups of coffee, and the company of a few friends I always see when I’m here. In the balance, yesterday was a weight-plan success.

    After dinner I went back to Johnny’s bistro for another cigar and a video call, and I ran into the guys from Kentucky who joined me for a cigar… and pulled out a bottle of very fine bourbon. I relaxed until closing and then walked with Johnny as far as my apartment, where I picked up another cigar and then went to see my friend Gloria at her work. She and I chatted until nearly 3:00am, at which point I headed back to my place and had a very good (if short) sleep.

    This morning I ordered a plate of fried eggs and toast, and a couple of cups of coffee. Depending on whether or not people I met show up or not, I will either be leading a tour today, or I will just do my own thing in Habana Viella. While it would be great if they do show up, my day will likely be no better or worse if they do or not… it will just be different.

    My goal is to register 15,000 steps or more every day in Havana. That should not be a difficult goal to achieve, and will likely do much more than that some days. The only thing I need to be aware of is the state of my feet, remembering the problems I had with them on my last trip. Those problems started with a lot of steps in a pair of sandals that were probably well past their expected lifespan (measured in steps, not in age). I gave that pair away, and am wearing another pair that I had… which are older, but not nearly as well worn. After a day and a half in them (and over 30,000 steps) my feet seem fine, so I am optimistic. I brought running shoes just in case, but so far so good. If I need to then I will switch out for runners, but if I can manage it then my other goal is to return to Canada without having worn a single pair of socks the whole trip. We’ll see…

    If the group does not show up then I am planning to have a pizza for either lunch or dinner. The other meal will likely be fish or pasta. We’ll see. I did not feel the need to snack yesterday and while I was peckish by about 12:30am, I did nothing about it and went to bed a little hungry. I would have had to be much hungrier to decide to eat after 11pm. If I can make it through today without snacking then it will absolutely be another good food day.

    It has been some time since I wrote about my bowel movements, but this morning was so good that I feel I should mention that my system is working well, and I suspect that it was ridding my body of all the garbage I ate Sunday. As I walked toward my buddy’s bistro for breakfast I felt five pounds lighter.

    On the negative side, I was extremely disappointed with myself yesterday morning when I put on one of my new shirts and it was tight. I could have gotten away with it, but decided against it and changed into something looser. Hopefully within a few days I will try it on again with better results. While I am well aware that hope is not a strategy, I am truly hoping I can make that happen.

    It is now approaching 10:00am and my group is not here. As I said, either they will show up… or they will not. Either way…

    …have a great day!

  • Day 795

    I don’t really have time to write today, but it’s been a good day so far. Yesterday was not a good eating day, but travel days seldom are. I got 14,000 steps in, and am already near that today. I’ll try to write tomorrow or Wednesday.