Losing a part of me

Tag: Health

  • Day 1199

    Someone asked me yesterday morning what my plans were for today and I had to confess that I did not have anything. I walked Princess Sophie in the morning, and of course I will walk her again in the evening… but that’s about it. I was originally supposed to spend the afternoon with a friend, but that fell through. If it rains I will connect with a buddy for cigars… he is scheduled to do an outdoor photo shoot, but if the weather is not cooperative then he is free. We’ll see.

    Next week I am teaching a class to an audience in Europe which means my sleep schedule will be well and truly upside down; I am working from 1:00am until 11:30am every day. Add to that my evening class and that has me working Monday Wednesday and Friday from 6:30pm-10:30pm, and then from 1-11. It will be a tiring week for sure.

    If it sounds like I am complaining then let me assure you that I am not. I love working, and while I wish I had a steady job with a guaranteed income, for the time being that is not my life, and I need to may hay when the sun shines. When a broker calls then I am almost always happy to take the job. It is wonderful that so many different training providers like using me, and it is a relief that I am making money again so I can continue to pay down my debt. With that said, my sleep has been atrocious for the last little while, and I am not expecting this coming week to be an easy one for me.

    Speaking of paying down my debt, I have some bills to pay so I am going to get on that. Have a great day folks…

  • Day 1155

    I briefly considered reweighing myself after I had a second (and more productive) bowel movement after Princess Sophie and I came in from our walk. I decided not to simply because I had a large glass of water, and I am trying to stay focused on the downward trend and not the individual plots on the weight loss graph. As such, we weight this morning remained constant with what it was yesterday. Tomorrow morning it will be lower than it is today… as long as I stay true to my program.

    I have been feeling hunger in the afternoon and evening, and am trying to remind myself that there is a difference between actual hunger and my stomach reminding me that I am not giving it as much food as it is accustomed to. I am having a small plate of pasta with olive oil and some cheese at lunch, but in the morning, and then after my class I am only having shakes. I knew yesterday that if I did not prepare a meal replacement shake during my mid-evening break I would likely not have been able to make it through the class, and that would not be good for anyone.

    I know I am impatient and that the weight will continue to come off, but I am really hoping it happens sooner rather than later. I am sick of wearing the one vest that fits me and I am tired of having to select the shirts that are not too tight. I realize that if I am going to continue eating pasta in the afternoon I will not experience extreme drops every day, but I need to make it through this week and next… and the boxes of spaghetti that were in my pantry are not cheating on the no groceries plan. I remember every truism that I have told myself over the last three years and am going to continue to try… and I will get there. Eventually.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1154

    I did better yesterday than I had the previous day, but I still have work to do before I am in top form on my program. My weight, which was up a pound yesterday, is now down two pounds this morning. I am reminded that it is not the points on the graph, but rather the trend that matters. With that said, I have to keep the trend going or else it is a huge failure.

    The meal replacements that I ordered Monday are due to arrive today, and I am stocked up to hit the ground running upon my return from Montreal Tuesday afternoon. While I am still planning to work at it until I leave, I know that on my trip (Saturday through Tuesday) I will be a giant ball of anxiety and stress, and expecting to stay true to the program is not reasonable. I set that expectation before I posted my ‘No Groceries’ calendar on the inside of my door. While I am not going to go crazy with eating and snacking, I am also not going to try to consume only meal replacements. Yes, I will take some with me. No, I am not planning on sticking to the program. That will begin in earnest Wednesday.

    Spring is in the air, and my walk with Her Floofness this morning was quite pleasant. That being said, every year Canadians experience their first warm days in March and are then shocked to find out that we are not quite done with winter weather until mid-April. With today’s forecast high temperatures of 18°, some may think that it is time to store their coats in the cellar and to change out their winter tyres. They do not notice that tomorrow’s forecast low is the freezing point, and by Saturday and Sunday that drops further to -6°. The forecast for Montreal for the duration of my stay predicts a maximum high of 7° and a low of -9°. I am not even making the appointment to change my tyres until that is in my rearview mirror.

    With all that, it was still nice to walk through the park this morning unmolested by ice and snow and slush. What were extremely hazardous walking paths a few short days ago are now mostly dry with the occasional puddle or wet patch. It is a relief to not worry about injuring oneself due to slipping and falling as a price for walking my dog through the park. While I am sad that I will be stuck behind my computer for most of the day and evening, I do plan to spend my lunch break on the balcony… and that door will be open to allow Princess Sophie to sit out and bask in the sun as she watches over her subjects walking through her realm.

    My weight is still way too far above the terrible mark, but I have a plan. That is important. My first short-term goals are to drop below that permanently, and to hopefully drop below 290 lbs. by April 11th – the night of my Lodge’s banquet.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1054

    By all rights my weight should have been up this morning, and not down .6 lb. From yesterday morning. But for a very late delivery guy I would have gained two pounds. I was weak, and when Ryan ordered the pizza, I was really looking forward to having a slice… or two. Fortunately, ninety minutes after he ordered them, they had not yet arrived, and I decided to take my leave. I enjoyed a protein bar in the car, and an omelette when I got home. Yes, I ate some peanuts and even a little popcorn throughout the day, and that was bad. Pizza would have been a disaster. 

    Following my dinner, I got onto the treadmill and jogged 5km. It was the third day in a row that I jogged, and the second that I completed 5km. I am quite happy with that and will try to continue to do that. My next goal is to start increasing the speed and distance… although not necessarily at the same time. I did kick up the pace for the last .2km, but that is not the same. I want to increase my maintained speed, rather than just ‘sprinting’ the last few metres. It will not be a quick increase, but if I do it gradually over time then I will be happy with my results. At my current pace of 4mph I would need over 6.5 hours to run a marathon. By increasing my pace to 5mph that would drop to 5.24 hours. I would still not qualify for the Boston Marathon, but I would be thrilled with myself if I could do that. 

    I am teaching today until 4:30pm, and then I have to go to the supermarket to pick up eggs, milk, and one or two other provisions. I will try to be good and not buy any cheats. At 7:00pm I am visiting a lodge in Burlington with a friend. I have never been to this lodge, but it is much closer to me than my own. By all rights that is where I probably should have joined, but I had my friends at my lodge and here we are. It should be a fun evening. I just have to remember to not eat! 

    My current steps-goal streak is nine days. I am not sure when I will be able to get onto the treadmill, but I will do my best to do so either before or after my lodge visit. I would love to extend the streak to ten days. Actually, according to my fitness watch my longest streak is sixteen days, and I would love to be able to beat that… but I am going to do it one day at a time, which means for today extending my current streak to ten days… and then tomorrow will be tomorrow’s problem. 

    I spoke with a buddy yesterday and we decided that later this week (probably Friday) we are going to drive down to Niagara Falls, NY for the day. We both have a few parcels to ship, and as Canada Post is on strike, there is no inexpensive way to ship anything to the USA. Maybe we will make a day of it (and not just run across and back like our last trip), but if we do then I had better plan ahead. To that end, I now have three protein bars in the armrest of my car so that if I do get hungry, I do not have to settle for foods that are incompatible with my weight loss goals. 

    I started this entry at 8:15am. It is now 12:30pm and we broke for lunch. It has been a pretty easy morning – I am teaching a very high-level overview of a technology that I know, and we will not be getting deep into anything. I just finished my afternoon meal replacement shake and so far, I am feeling satisfied. I hope that continues for the next few hours. If I could get through to the end of class before needing another meal replacement, and then when I get home from the Burlington lodge, I can hit the treadmill for 5km and then have my final mean replacement, then I will have succeeded 100% in my goals for the day… which is to say that I will not have cheated, and I will have had the necessary nutrition, and I will meet my steps/exercise goal. That is the plan. 

    We know, of course, that the best laid plans of mice and men do not always work out… but I am going to try. 

    Have a great day folks! 

  • Day 988

    Yesterday was one of those days.

    Wednesday afternoon my plan was to get some sleep and then wake up in time to connect to the Erev Rosh Hashana services that my synagogue broadcasts. A bunch of different things happened to keep me from my bed, and when I finally did lie down at 5:00pm, my phone rang… it was a Lodge brother in crisis, and I spent over an hour talking with him and helping him with his issue. I am glad I was able to be there for him, even at the cost of two hours of sleep. I then fell asleep for a couple of hours, but I did not mute my phone. When I get seven text messages in short succession it usually means that there is an urgent matter that needs to be dealt with. It turned out that it was just seven completely unrelated texts that came from different people, and it was a coincidence that they all came within a minute. The alert was enough to wake me up, and I could not get back to sleep. I decided that rather than lying there frustrated, I would get dressed, take Princess Sophie for a walk, and then I would call my wife so that we could light the candles and say our prayers before I joined the services online.

    Why did I go into all of that detail about Wednesday night? Essentially to say that I was so exhausted yesterday because between Wednesday at 12:15am when I woke up and Thursday evening at 5:30pm when I went to bed I got two hours of sleep. I got through my class just fine, but I am glad that in the afternoon I did not have a lot to do. I could not go to bed because my cleaning lady came… had I known what the previous two days would be like I would have canceled that in a heartbeat, but I was committed. I finally got to sleep at 5:30pm with the hopes that I would be able to sleep through until my alarm went off at 12:30am. In fact I did one better… I slept through the alarm and it was 1:05am by the time I got out of bed and got going. I am glad I did not sleep through my class!

    I am feeling much better today than I did yesterday. I was telling Leslie that with all of the difficulties in my life I am still a very blessed man, and I am grateful for so much. I am grateful this morning for having slept last night, and my class is going well. My weight, which has been up every day for nearly a week, finally dropped slightly this morning. Hopefully by the beginning of next week when I fly to Maine I will be down below 300 lbs. again. I will try!

    Have a great day folks!