Losing a part of me

Tag: Mental Health

  • 2026 Day 5

    After reading my journal entry yesterday, my diet buddy told me that I should trust my scale, and that I should accept the tremendous weight loss as to be expected in the first week – especially for men. When we spoke later in the day, I explained to her that the reason I did not trust it was not because I did not think it possible that I have lost so much weight in four days, but rather because my floor is not as solid as it could be, coupled with the fact that the bathroom scale (which don’t get me wrong, I have been using since 2020 and I love it) is a cheap one. I have noticed over my weight loss ups and downs that when I weigh over a certain weight (not an exact measure, but a general area) it is less consistent than it will be when I am… say, below 280 lbs.

    As if the scale wanted to prove my point this morning: At 8:01:09 this morning I stepped onto it and it registered my weight at .4 lb. heavier than it was yesterday morning. I stepped off, waited for it to clear, and stepped back onto it. At 8:01:39 it registered my weight at 1.4 lbs. lighter than it was yesterday. I did not move it, I did not nudge it, I did not even stand on it any differently. Two measurements thirty seconds apart were nearly two pounds off. For good measure, I did take a third reading, and that one was consistent with the second (the one that was down). Hence the reason I do not trust my bathroom scale. I will be seeing a doctor next week, and I am sure he will weigh me. Whether he does or does not, the following week I will be seeing my regular doctor, and I know that she will be doing so. Their scales should be much more accurate.

    With that said: down is good!

    Yesterday was the first day since I started the program that I consumed my four meal replacements. The only ‘cheating’ that I did was the two stalks of celery that I ate to abate my hunger throughout the day. If that sounds non-specific, it is because yes… I ate two stalks of celery. However, you may recall that I wrote yesterday that I had cut them up and put them into a not-really-Tupperware container. I cut them into thirds; I ate two pieces three times, totaling two stalks.

    I did not end up using the treadmill yesterday, but I did sit my exam (which I passed). I then decided that maybe it was not quite as windy as the forecast had predicted, so I prepared myself to sit outside with a cigar. I cut it but had not even picked up my torch when a gust blew cold, and I realized that sitting outside was not a good idea. I have always said that I do not mind the cold, but the wind makes it unpleasant. That is true in the summer, but that truth is amplified when the wind chill brings the temperatures down to minus double-digits.

    I have noticed (and not only recently) that despite my old habits of staying up late, my sleep score is consistently higher when I go to sleep earlier. It took me a bit of time to fall asleep last night, but according to the fitness watch, I was asleep at 11:07pm. These nights when I teach until 9:00pm will be difficult, but I am going to endeavour to be ready for sleep earlier than my usual. I would like to get into that habit if indeed I sleep better if I go to sleep earlier.

    My sleep score last night was identical to the previous night, which is not a bad thing. I slept 30 minutes less than the previous night, but most of the measurements were similar – some a bit up, some a bit down.

    • Duration: 7h15m (Excellent)
    • Stress: 20 avg (Fair)
    • Deep: 1h17m (Good)
    • Light: 5h08m (Fair)
    • REM: 51m (Fair)
    • Awake/Restlessness: 13m, 34 Restless Moments (Good)

    Two of the ‘good’ measurements from the previous night were now only fair, and one of the ‘fair’ measurements was now good. Hey, as long as I am able to get through the day without falling asleep in class I will be happy.

    Speaking of class, I got my evaluations from last week’s class this morning. The Overall Instructor score was perfect. Yay! I always strive for this, but there is usually one or two students who give me a 4 out of 5. Not last week. Phew! This week I am teaching two classes… one during the day (advanced cybersecurity), and my evening cohort for basic IT skills begins today as well. I will be delivering that over the next four months every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evening. It is the fifth such cohort that I will have delivered to the same company’s employees since 2023, and while it makes for a lot of long days when I also teach during the day, it is a nice infusion of extra income that will really help.

    Princess Sophie and I went out for our usual walk this morning, and I will not lie… that wind makes it really cold! Someone asked me recently why I would ever have moved back from sunny California to live in this climate. That is a story for another day.

    Have a great day folks!

  • 2026 Day 4

    Over the past month I have not really trusted my bathroom scale. I have had a lot of inconsistent readings, and have often had to adjust it on the floor to get it to register at all. As such, the fact that this morning my weight is eleven pounds down from what it was Thursday morning (Day 1) is dubious. I also recognize that as my weight drops the scale will be more accurate and consistent and trustworthy. Am I excited that the number is eleven pounds down? No. Am I encouraged knowing that I have been doing pretty well, and that however accurate or inaccurate the scale may be, I weigh less than I did four days ago? Yes.

    As I discussed in my article yesterday, I did end up buying celery. That will be a good snack for times that I get hungry between meal replacements. Owing to the fact that I (stupidly) went to the store three hours after my previous meal replacement, I also bought peanuts. I made the conscious decision to leave them in the car, which means that I will not sit around the house eating them. They are there, I will snack on them when I drive, but really they are a break-glass option. Peanuts (unsalted) are very healthy, and while I am not going to try to justify them as an acceptable addition to my program, I know that when I am weak and tempted (as I was Friday evening) they are a better alternative than a lot of other options out there. I also know that after the supermarket closes there are a lot of snacks that I could buy at a convenience store… none of which are nearly as good choices as unsalted peanuts. If I am going to cheat, let it be a minor cheat and not a ‘off the wagon’ cheat.

    I have never figured out (nor done any type of research on) how my fitness watch measures and rates my sleep. I do know that it is usually (not always) pretty accurate. For example, if I think I slept really well one night, but the watch give me a low score and says ‘non-restorative’ then I will doubt its veracity… until I realize by mid-morning that I am ready for a nap. When I woke up this morning I checked my score: 80 (Good). The details:

    • Duration: 7h43m (Excellent)
    • Stress: 22 avg (Fair)
    • Deep: 1h51m (Excellent)
    • Light: 4h35m (Good)
    • REM: 1h17m (Good)
    • Awake/Restlessness: 33m, 34 Restless Moments (Fair)

    While I felt like it must have been 6:00am, it was actually about 12:40am when Her Floofness jumped down off the bed. When she does this in the middle of the night, unless she is sick it means that she is thirsty. Owing to the noise coming from my server farm in the office, I keep the bedroom door closed at night, so I knew I had to get up to let her out. I would have had to get up to bring her back onto the bed anyways, so your suggestion that I bring her water dish into the bedroom would have changed nothing. I took the opportunity to use the washroom (remember I am drinking a lot more water), then brought the Floof back up, and then got back into bed. I lay awake for the next 25 minutes wondering if I would ever get back to sleep. Obviously I did… and I know it was 25 minutes because that’s what my watch tells me it was. I do not know sow it all gets measured, but with a sleep score of 80, I suspect that I will not feel like I need a nap today.

    I do not know if it was because I had peanuts and celery, but I do not think I had my fourth meal replacement yesterday… again. As today is going to be a quiet and lazy day, I do not think that is the worst thing in the world. I suspect that starting tomorrow, when I will be teaching from 10am to 9:00pm, I will definitely need every calorie I am allowed on the program. Before you ask, I did not know how many I had, but I know I did not eat nearly as many peanuts yesterday as I had the previous day. That is a bad habit – I should be measuring my food intake and I should be aware of everything that I eat – that I will try to break… but I have tried many times before with no success.

    I do not think I have anywhere I need to drive to today. I plan to stay close to home for a few reasons. The first reason is that I do not feel like seeing people if I do not have to. I also know that the peanuts are in the car. With all of that, I also have a Check Engine light going on my dashboard, and I have a note on my calendar to call the mechanic tomorrow morning. Until I get it checked, I do not plan to drive anywhere that I do not need to drive to. Hopefully the mechanic will be able to look at it Wednesday morning (by the time I speak with him tomorrow, it will be too late… and Tuesday morning I have to take Her Floofness to the spa for her grooming appointment). I do not expect it is anything too serious… but it is better to be safe than sorry. Also… peanuts.

    I did drink at least my two litres of water yesterday, and am already halfway through my first litre of the day for today. I was thinking that I got a late start to the day, but really I did not – according to the fitness watch, I was out of bed at 7:46am – so I really am on track for most of my day. I suppose my shake was later than it could have been. We came in from our walk around 9:30am, which means that I did not make my shake until 9:45am… much later than I would on a work day. I remember in previous attempts at this program, I would space my shakes out at four hours apart – 8am – 12pm – 4pm – 8pm. That may be a good plan for the week, but for today I would either have to condense that, or bring it down to three meal replacements. We will see how I am feeling.

    I am hoping that over the next few days I will see how adding celery to my program affects me. I cannot imagine there would be any negative effects, but I wonder if eating two or three stalks per day might make me feel less hungry, or if I might not even feel the need for the fourth meal replacement. This week will be an experiment.

    On the same topic, I did something I do not think I have ever done before. When I brought the celery home, I immediately washed it, and then cut the stalks into thirds, placing them in a sealed container in the fridge. I hope that will keep it crispy. We will see, but if that works, then I will continue that regimen when buying celery.

    When I saw my doctor on November 27th I made her three promises. The first was that by the time I see her again on February 1st I will have lost 10kg. The second was that I would check my blood pressure at the pharmacy at least once per week. The third promise was that I would start doing some light exercise. It took me a month to get to where I am (with a number of false starts and ups and downs), but I am about halfway to the 10kg promise. As for my blood pressure? No, I have not measured it once. I have to remember to do that the next time I am there, but I keep forgetting. I will try to go this week, but even if I do not, I have another medical appointment next Monday and I know he will take my bp… and I suspect he will do blood work as well. If he does not, then I know that my doctor will order blood work on the 1st. As for the exercise? That one has also been a fail.

    The sun is shining, and it is a lovely day outside. Unfortunately, the wind is blowing pretty hard, so while the temperature is hovering around 0°, according to the weather report the wind chill is -11°. Even when it is hot outside, sitting out with a cigar when it is really windy is not comfortable. I will see if it dies down throughout the day, but if it does not then I will be inside for the duration. Yes, I took Her Floofness for a good walk this morning, and we will go out again in the evening… but if it is too windy then other than that we will be hibernating.

    Seeing as I will be inside all day, I might take the opportunity to dust off the treadmill and start making good on that third promise I made to the doctor. I do not think I am ready to jog, but what is to say that I cannot walk 5km? It is time I get off my duff and start trying to get back into shape. We’ll see… but I think that is a good plan for the afternoon. I am going to wait until my neighbour gets home from Costco… Princess Sophie will be happy to go over there for a visit!

    Speaking of things I should be doing… I might try to take a certification exam this afternoon for a class that I have been putting off. That is a good idea!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 3 Drama

    Yesterday I was strict on the program during the day, but not in the evening. If I am going to cheat, I know it should be during the day, and not at night. I didn’t have a lot of choice. I didn’t even cheat too bad… a friend brought Vietnamese pho for dinner. Yes, the noodles are bad for the diet, but that is the only ‘permanent’ bad of it. The reason my weight was up an astonishing 3.5 lbs. this morning was more for the ridiculously high sodium content, which is bad for the water retention issue, but will likely be reversed within a day or two.

    I was not feeling well yesterday evening. I felt a cold coming on starting mid-afternoon, and it continued to worsen throughout the day. I told my friend, who understood and went home after dinner so I could get into bed quickly. I may have been in bed by 8:15pm, but I did not fall asleep until 10:45. I still slept quite soundly, and am (so far) feeling better today.

    I am enjoying the class that I am teaching this week. It is way outside my usual comfort zone, but I spent the requisite time preparing, I sat (and passed) the exam over the weekend, and two days into it my students seem to think that I am doing well. Phew! Occasionally there is a class that I am forced to teach which I really have to ‘fake my way’ through. This week is not one of them. I have been using Microsoft Windows since 1985 and very deeply since Windows 2000 and am considered one of the top guys in it; with that said, I have used Linux quite a bit, especially for my cybersecurity work, and while I never considered myself an expert in it, the week I spent preparing for the exam (and this class) solidified a few concepts for me that were probably the difference between ‘user’ and ‘expert’ levels. I plan to keep working with Linux, and hope that I can continue to get more comfortable with it.

    In the opening paragraph of this journal entry I mentioned that if I am going to cheat, it should be earlier in the day; this is so that my body can process the bad before I go to sleep. I also said I often will not have a choice in the timing, especially when there is an evening meal involved. Today I do have the choice! There is leftover pho which I will enjoy for lunch. Not only can I eat it earlier, but because it was my friend’s leftover portion (they ordered the same as I did, but because of a weight loss surgery their stomach is much smaller, hence so is their appetite) so it is a much more reasonable portion than what I ate last night. I trust that since I will be eating smaller and earlier, I will still see a drop in my weight tomorrow morning. Even if I do not, I still feel that I am getting back on track.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1309

    I forced myself to stay awake as long as I could… which is to say until about 3:30pm. I then crawled into bed and slept for a couple of hours. As happens far too frequently, especially when I try to sleep during daylight hours, my eyes popped open a couple of hours later. I then did something that I do not usually do. Despite feeling like I was awake, and knowing that I was still exhausted, I stayed in bed. I probably got up to pee, but then I got right back into bed. I might have checked my email quickly, but I did not stay on my phone for any other purpose. I stayed in bed, and I eventually fell back asleep. While my fitness watch did not register it as such, I probably slept a full nine hours last night. It was blissful. I feel much more awake today than I have these last several days.

    These last couple of days I have eaten one of the new meal replacements for my mid-night breakfast. Aside from the fact that I would not have had time either day to prepare anything, it was a healthy and convenient ‘meal’ that I would not feel guilty about. I had the wafers both days – yesterday’s was mocha, today’s was chocolate – and they were both tasty and satisfying. By the time my lunch hour comes around (at 6:00am) I will make an omelette. As I mentioned, I have enough food in the house for a couple more days; by the weekend I should be able to get back onto the program… as long as I can do it with these meal replacements. It will be an adjustment, and I am not sure if I will succeed. I just looked and the product I usually use is still sold out. That is frustrating, and I am not sure how I will adjust… or if I will stick to a revised partial program for the time being.

    For the third night in a row, my weight dropped… significantly. I am now 5.8 lbs. lighter than I was just a few days ago. That is great, except that I am also still six pounds heavier than I was on my best day. I have a long way to go to even be back on track.

    This program is easier when the product is available but maybe the non-availability will force me to use some sort of self-control which might, in turn, become a habit.

    It is now 8:15am and I have less than three hours left to go before the end of my work day. I am hoping that a buddy is coming over for a cigar in the afternoon. I am also hoping that I can repeat yesterday… sleep from 5pm-1am. We’ll see.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1308

    We are half way through the week. This morning I woke up at 12:45am and said to myself that there are only two more ridiculously early mornings left before I can resume a normal schedule. I am truly looking forward to that. Once again, I got a bit of sleep in the afternoon yesterday, and then I got four hours of sleep at night. I would have slept much better in the afternoon had I put my phone onto ‘silent’ mode. I do not ever ignore phone calls from my sons, and I was happy to hear from my son the elder. After he gave me a not-so-brief rundown of what was happening in his life I told him I wanted to go back to sleep and he understood. As inconvenient as if initially felt to be awakened, it was fortunate that I was because there was a message from a friend that he was coming over… I had completely forgotten that I had invited him! Aside from wanting to catch up, he also had a portable hard drive that I had loaned him. When I thought to back up my computer over the weekend I realized I did not have it and knew exactly where it was.

    The friend who came over is one who was on the same program that I am on. He was even under the care of the same doctor that I originally did it with. As such, I felt comfortable discussing the frustration I am feeling over the company’s supply chain issues. We discussed possible alternatives, and he had some good insight for me. In the meantime, the replacement meal replacements did arrive yesterday, and I had my first one just a few minutes ago. It was palatable if not delicious. I just have to remember that it will be six per day rather than my usual four. With that said, I will not be resuming the full program today; I have food in the house for two more days, and I do not want to waste it. I also do not want my class to suffer for my Day One Syndrome.

    My weight had shot up terribly over the previous week, and I am relieved that after a peak a few days ago I am back on a downward trend, even though I am not back on the program, and my circadian rhythm (sleep cycle) is shot to smithereens. I have dropped three pounds from my peak (not Day One)

    I am tired as I type this, but I am sure I will be able to make it through the day. I only have 8.5 hours left of teaching. How fun.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1294

    **NOTE: This post was written August 6, 2025… I just noticed that it did not publish. I am backdating it for that reason. -MDG

    I was shocked when I saw the numbers on the bathroom scale this morning. Remember that nearly-1.5lbs. drop from yesterday? I put back 1.6 lbs. this morning. I was furious… until I realized two things: Firstly, it was 1:30am. I am teaching in Europe for the rest of the week, and I had to be at the computer and online for 3am. Secondly, I had not slept a wink. Try as I might, I did not fall asleep for even a minute. My alarm was set for 2:15am but I turned it off and got out of bed and showered long before that. Those two factors make this morning’s (sic) weigh-in completely meaningless.

    I passed my exam! For the second time in two weeks, I passed a very high-level cybersecurity exam. I was comfortable with most of it… until they gave me a Linux virtual machine and told me to do something that I have not done in a very long time. For the life of me I could not remember any of the necessary commands, and eventually I did what I could and then closed the VM. I was convinced that would have ended my chances of passing. Nope! I then took care of a bit of work, and then enjoyed a fine celebratory cigar on the balcony.

    I am sure there is more to write, but I am looking at the clock and my class break is nearly over. I will try to do as well with my eating today as I did yesterday… which will be more of a challenge because I will be taking my son the younger for lunch again. I am looking forward to spending time with him… but not to sitting in a restaurant and not eating.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1283

    I did not expect to see another huge drop this morning, so imagine my surprise when the numbers on the bathroom scale were another 1.4 lbs. down from yesterday!? That puts my loss-to-date at 31.8 lbs. on Day 27 of my latest attempt. I am thrilled with that! As well, after dropping only 3.2 lbs. last week, So far this week I have dropped 5 lbs.! What I am not thrilled with is that I am still well above the terrible mark. I hate that I let myself get so out of hand this calendar year.

    Analyzing the past data, while my weight first crept above the terrible mark at the end of September, in October it was higher than that for fifteen days, and then November it was fourteen days. In December I was doing better for a while… only seven days above that terrible mark. And then there was January… where I dropped below the terrible mark only once – and not since that day have I been there.

    If all goes well then by the middle to end of August I should drop below it once more. I will breathe a sigh of relief when I do.

    As it stands, the clothes that I ordered in June are a bit loose on me. I am wearing them comfortably, but you can tell I have lost a pound or two… or rather 18.4 lbs. to be precise! I am still disgusted that I cannot even button up the biggest of my sports jackets (although I am more comfortably able to wear my suits), and have reluctantly made a decision. Each time I have lost all of the weight, I have said ‘I will never gain it back again!’ and I have given away all of my fat clothes… which is why I had to get a new sports jacket and three new shirts made for me in June. When I can finally wear my slimmer clothes again I am going to take these new shirts and jacket and put them in a garment bag marked ‘If I am ever Fat and Ashamed again.’ I will not throw them out… but I will put them away in my storage locker.

    (I should mention that while I gave away the largest of my sports jackets, I am currently wearing a shirt that I had made in 2022, when I was first losing the weight. I have several shirts that do not fit yet, but I now have several from the down swing that do. They did not fit a month ago.)

    I mentioned yesterday that I had not moved my bowels in the morning… well in the afternoon I had what was probably the best movement since I stopped eating solid foods. I would not be surprised if that was a big contributing factor to this morning’s significant weight loss. What a relief! This morning I have thus far been unsuccessful, but there is still hope for the afternoon.

    My sleep score was up to an 87! I was surprised because of a number of factors:

    1. Even though I was in bed at a reasonable hour, I had a lot of trouble falling asleep.
    2. There was an Amazon delivery driver who decided to phone me at 6:30am to let me know he was leaving a package at my door. That is really my fault for disabling Sleep Mode on my phone… but I did not think I was going to get back to sleep after that. I did (phew!)

    I cannot think of the last time I had three nights in a row with a sleep score in excess of 80… Saturday night through Tuesday morning I registered 86-84-87. Woohoo! This, in addition to the nap I took yesterday afternoon.

    Yes, I took a nap. I spent most of the day trying to record a video for the course I am writing, and there was not one minute when I was not holding back a yawn. I could not figure it out, and finally I decided to walk away from the computer. I took Her Floofness out for a walk (she did not really feel like being out, so we only walked the perimeter of the building before coming back inside). She ran to Sue’s (the neighbour) for a visit, and I sat on the balcony with a cigar and a book. I thought that just maybe a break from not only sitting at my computer but also from studying computers would be beneficial. After my cigar was done I was feeling no more awake, and gave in to the temptation. I slept for an hour.

    While the nap certainly did my body good, I was still yawning all evening. On something like take 87 I was finally able to submit my video. (There was one take, maybe twenty or so takes earlier, that was definitely good enough… only for me to realize that while the screen and the mic were working, my camera was not. ARGH!) Video work is a lot more frustrating than teaching a live class… when I stumble over my words in class I can make light of it. That would not work for a recorded class.

    I did have a handful of peanuts yesterday…and I will again today. I am, as I said a few days ago, eating them in lieu of my fourth meal replacement. Three shakes and a handful of peanuts is not a bad compromise. I also suspect (with no scientific basis for it) that the peanut oil is helping the fibre in easing that last part of the digestive process. Maybe yes, maybe no… but I had the peanuts yesterday and recorded a huge weight drop, so maybe in moderation even if it doesn’t help… it doesn’t hurt.

    I do have some more video work to do today, but I also have an exam to prepare for this afternoon. As such, my plan is:

    • Head out after publishing this journal entry to visit with my son, stopping for a handful of peanuts along the way.
    • Come home, study for my exam for a few hours.
    • Clean off my kitchen table so that it will be completely clear for my exam.
    • Set up the exam computer.
    • At 4:45 I will either drop Her Floofness at Sue’s, or if she is not home I will put her in my bedroom so that I can take my exam.
    • After the exam, I will try to record the next video in the series.
    • After the sun goes down I will sit on the balcony with a cigar… if I pass my exam it will be a celebratory cigar (yes, it is a pretty advanced certification); if I do not pass then it will be an everyday pedestrian cigar. Let’s hope!

    Okay, it’s time to get moving. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1292

    30.4. The bathroom scale this morning confirmed that it took me twenty-six days to drop 30.4 lbs., and I nearly wooted out loud. I suspect it would have scared Her Floofness so early in the morning, but I quietly smiled.

    Yesterday was the second day in a row that I moved my bowels twice. I suppose the fibre is finally doing its job! Aside from dropping another half pound, I was also happy to see my sleep score of 84 this morning. Even though I wish I could have slept another 30-60 minutes, and my fitness watch categorized it as: ‘shorter than ideal, plenty of deep.’ That means that four of the last seven nights I had a sleep score of seventy-five or better. I think it is a combination of the melatonin and going to bed a little earlier that is helping. Of course, that ends Wednesday… I am teaching another class in Europe Wednesday through Friday, which means my sleep cycle will be completely upside down again. To make things even more interesting (sic), I should be receiving confirmation today or tomorrow that I am also teaching a class in Europe the next two weeks straight. Financially that is a relief. Sleep wise? Not so much.

    The class I should be teaching the next two weeks is for a certification that I do not currently hold, so I am preparing to sit the exam Wednesday… although I will be deciding sometime today whether or not to move that up to tomorrow… or even this evening. We’ll see. It is another high-level cybersecurity exam, and while it is slightly different from the CISSP, it is not significantly different. Going through a lot of the material I realized that there is a huge overlap in material, which is why I am thinking of moving it up. Practically speaking, that also would give me more time to reschedule it for the weekend if I do happen to fail… which is unlikely, but always a possibility.

    Yesterday I drove out to see my son around 11:00am, and then after about an hour with him I drove to Hagersville for my cigars, just as I had planned. I also take the opportunity when I am out there to fill my gas tank – the difference is at least twenty cents per litre!

    I kept telling myself that I needed to stop off for milk and cheese before I went home, and then I got distracted. The next time I thought of it I had already parked the car. Rather than hop back in, I went into the house, greeted Her Floofness, and took out the garbage before I headed out. I grabbed a reusable bag and walked to the supermarket on the corner. I was surprised that even with that walk I had not hit my steps goal for the day. As low as the goal is, I figured that would have done it. Luckily, despite several earlier outings, Princess Sophie told me she wanted to go out after I came in from my evening cigar, at which point not only did she poop, but I was also able to achieve my daily steps goal. I am hoping that yesterday was Day 1 of a new steps-goal streak. I know that with my crazy work schedule it might be a bit challenging, but let’s see if I can do it.

    Okay, I have rescheduled my exam for tomorrow afternoon. Now I have a bit more prep to do before I am ready. I also have some videos to record today for a contract I have been working on. It should be a fun if harried couple of days.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1289

    This morning was the first in several days that I moved my bowels as part of my early morning routine, and not after walking Her Floofness. It was not huge, but it was good to be able to do it. As I mentioned yesterday, I have to be careful so that I do not end up in agony from a blockage like a few weeks ago.

    My sleep score was up to 77 this morning… again, if I had gone to bed earlier… but also if my alarm was not set for 5:45am I am sure it would have been better. I know next week I am teaching a three-day class in Europe so I will bve jetlagged again, but I hope that it does not throw my diet willpower off.

    If today is Day 23 of my renewed efforts at weight loss, I can proudly say that I have so far lost 27.2 lbs., and while the pace of more than a pound per day will fall off within a week or two, I can still be proud for what I have achieved thus far.

    Yesterday I ran off the rails a bit… I left the house, once again, unprepared. I did have some peanuts along the way, and when I got to my meeting at the pub I immediately ordered food and a drink… I asked for a glass of water and a plate of carrots and celery. I am a bit down about the peanuts, but not the veggies. There was some family stress and although I felt bad for what my son was dealing with, there was also nothing that I could do to help other than giving him advice… which I did. I spent half an hour with my son the younger as well… it was great to see him, and I will do the same again this evening.

    I have to run out now – my new optometrist is waiting, and I am looking forward to getting glasses with an up to date subscription so I can see but more important hopefully my eyes will not tire as quickly.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 1288

    With my weight down another pound this morning, I am, after three weeks, down 26.8 lbs., and while I am impatient with my slowed rate, and somewhat disappointed by the week-over-week loss of only 3.2 lbs., I nevertheless have to remember that while my commitment to the program has not wavered, nonetheless my strict adherence to it has this past week has not been great. It has also been quite an emotional week, what with my passing my exam, my son the elder going off to begin his Master Degree, of course that on top of all of the usual excrement that is pervasive in my life… I will take it and run.

    With all of that said, I have no excuses for this week coming… at least, not that I can think of. I will be taking care of my son the younger from this afternoon until next Wednesday – he will not be staying with me, but I will be dropping in to see him twice per day as his mother and her partner drive our son the elder down to university. She specified that I can take him out to eat only once maybe twice… and I will use her instructions as my excuse to him. For the times that we do go out to eat, I will simply not eat. If I am terribly tempted then I will do what I did Tuesday evening… I will order a plate of carrots and celery. I cannot allow anything to get in the way of my success. If in the next week I achieve the same weight loss as I did the last week then I will be able to say that in four weeks I dropped thirty pounds. If I falter? Well to put it bluntly then I will not succeed.

    I was in bed and asleep at a more reasonable hour last night, and while my sleep score was up, it was only a 75. Nothing to write home about. With regard to my other bodily functions, I have not been able to move my bowels this morning. Thinking back to how I was two weeks ago, I am tracking this because I do not want to be back in the position where I am in pain because of it… let alone such extreme pain as I was in on Day 8 (Day 1275). I know that I moved them yesterday, and that while I am not eating solid foods it is not always going to happen every day… but if I go more than two days without voiding my bowels then I am prepared to take the second of the two packets the pharmacist gave me that helped clear me out. I do not want to be in a position where I am in agony before I act.

    After I pop in to see my son this afternoon after my class, I then have to drive down to Grimsby again to meet with someone with whom I have been trying to connect for the last six weeks or so. For this meeting I have no choice but to meet at the resto-pub that I was at Tuesday… the man I am meeting with is the owner. I hope he does not get offended that I will refuse his hospitality but my diet cannot afford for me to eat. If he insists then I will accept the carrots and celery that I indulged in the other day.

    Last night as we sat on my balcony, it started to rain… and rain it did! I do not know how long it lasted, but this morning was notably cooler than it has been these last couple of weeks; they say the rain broke the heat wave. While it was not raining when Her Floofness and I were out, it was clear that it had rained quite a bit overnight. There is no more rain predicted for the day, and while the rest of the week’s forecast is sunny, the temperature predictions are definitely lower than they have been. It will not be chilly, but they will be seasonable.

    My goal for the day is to get through it, then go to see my son, and then get to Grimsby and back without breaking my program. Wish me luck!