Losing a part of me

It is interesting that my notes from Day 3 of my previous journal focus on three themes: scheduling (and how to make sure I have my meal replacements at the right time and intervals throughout the day), temptations, and my mood (which was quite cranky).

This time around I do not feel like I am in a bad mood or cranky in any way… although from my notes, it seems that most of my crankiness resulted from interactions with other people, and I am not really spending a lot of time with others to notice. While I am still a bit sluggish, I would say that my mood is not a factor this time. The only people I did spend any amount of time with yesterday were the friends I collected from the airport, and there was no sort of clash or conflict there. I did have a bit of a row with a friend while I was waiting for them, and I was certainly cranky with her; if any part of that crankiness was due to a bad mood caused by a caloric deficiency, then it is only a small part.

Scheduling is as much a factor this time around as it was last time, but I am certainly much more relaxed about it than I was. As I do not see it as an issue, I am not going to focus on it. Yes, it is important that I consume five meal replacements throughout the day… but if they are not timed exactly right, I will survive.

Temptation is a slight issue, but only when I am out and about. Three years ago, when I started the program, I was spending a lot of my time with (and eventually living with) a girlfriend and her daughter. While most of their food did not really tempt me, the daughter was baking a chocolate cake on Day 3, and the smells around the house were incredible.

One reason why living along is a better option for me when on the program is that not only was I tempted by the smells, but my girlfriend was also encouraging me to cheat. I know myself, and one cheat will lead to another which will eventually lead to failure. Each time I have started the program (or any diet, for that matter) I have either succeeded by being regimented or failed by being lackadaisical about it. Living alone, and for that matter being mostly separated from much of the world, it is just easier to succeed. To wit, the only time I was tempted yesterday was when I went out to pick my friends up from the airport. I got there on time (as did their flight), but there was a three-hour delay due to whatever, and because I had to leave the cellphone waiting area to find a toilet, I was tempted oh so briefly) to get a snack or something either at Tim Hortons or A&W. While I did get a cup of coffee (I feel guilt using the restroom and not ordering something), that was as far as the temptations went.

My water consumption yesterday was a complete success. I probably went through six of my large steins before I left the house for the airport, and I took another portable cup with me. I did not finish it, as I did not know how long I would be waiting… as it is, I made two trips to the Tim Hortons restroom.

The delay there did cause a slight aberrance to my meal replacement plan. I had my fourth meal replacement around 7:00pm, assuming I would be home around 10:15pm. Because of the three-hour delay, I was not actually home until after 1am, and so I grabbed the protein bar and went to bed.

I did have a little trouble sleeping last night because of my knee (and my back seems to be a bit tight as well from the fall), but it was not terrible. Yes, I am still in pain and yes, I am still favouring it. However, I did get six hours of sleep, and only had to visit the loo twice.

As I was writing this, my package from Amazon arrived, and I now have my 64-ounce water jug. Before I sit down to work, I will clean it out and fill it up. While I have not needed encouragement to drink more the last couple of days, I hope this will encourage me on days when I am not so in the mood…

I have work to do today, so let’s get to it!