Losing a part of me

I think I was reasonably good on the program yesterday, although I did have about 50g of peanuts in lieu of one of my meal replacements. I am glad that I was able to go to Bulk Barn, buy all of the chocolate marshmallows that Leslie and her son could want, fill up on pumpkin seeds (for salad toppings), and still only get a tiny number of peanuts.

The number on the bathroom scale were good this morning… but they are meaningless on a day when I am seeing my doctor. I will be weighed on the ‘official’ scale in a little while, and I am hoping to record a huge loss over my last weigh-in. I know that 3kg is too much to hope for, but I do not think it unreasonable to expect a 2kg drop. My last weigh-in was shortly after my return from Cuba, but I know that was not the real reason I was not losing weight. More than anything, it was the peanuts. Small amounts might be reasonable, but the slippery slope from 100g to 150g to 300g was virtually unnoticed by me, and that is because I am a food addict, and I cannot allow myself to fall off like that.

I am preparing my coffee, and then I am heading out. It is a rainy day today, so after I get home, I will probably do a little studying.

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I did not quite make the 2kg mark, but 1.9kg down is pretty respectable… and with that, I reached a milestone. I have now lost over twenty kilograms since starting out. Yes, that is a drop in the bucket, but it is also progress. Small incremental steps is what I need, despite wanting those giant losses.

I booked a haircut for today. Leslie likes my hair to be a bit longer (as it is now), but she understands that I usually prefer it to be short and cannot go longer than a certain length. Knowing we have three visits together coming up, I told her that I can either keep my hair longer for this coming visit, and then it will be short for the next two… or I can cut it now and it will be short for next week’s visit, and it will be longer for the next two. She is so wonderful and will love me no matter how long my hair or beard may be. Other than that, I have no other plans. I have not been sleeping well, so I will probably take a nap at some point. Having said that, it is Leslie’s birthday today… and although I cannot be there with her to celebrate this year, I have decided that this will be the last year that happens.

It is raining like we are expected to build arks today, but according to the forecast, it should taper off by about 2pm. If that is the case, I will enjoy a cigar or two on the balcony this afternoon. We’ll see. In the meantime, it may be early for my haircut, but I am pretty sure I forgot my phone in the car, so I will likely leave early.

Have a great day folks!