Losing a part of me

I am sleeping better these last couple of nights. The weather was pretty nice yesterday, so I fired up the propane heater on the balcony and enjoyed a cigar after lighting the candles with Leslie and her son. I once again cheated a bit too much yesterday, with an evening meal in addition to my afternoon meal. That, and a couple of bags of popcorn scattered throughout the day. The results were exactly what you would expect, which is not what I want to be saying the morning I have my doctor appointment and weigh-in. Lying about it would do no good… I could say that I ate like a supermodel who was told to lose five pounds or lose her livelihood, the numbers on the scale are still going to be what they are. You see, I can type whatever I like in my journal, but that will not change the numbers on the scale when I get to the doctor’s office in an hour. If I were going in a little earlier in the day, I would expect to be down about one kilogram from my last weigh-in. Weighing in closer to noon? I do not know what the numbers will show, but I doubt it will be a loss. I can hope and I can pray, but neither of those will do any good. The numbers will be what they are.

I finally did my online shopping for my godchildren this morning. This after finally pinning their mom (who I love dearly!) to commit to what they are currently in to. That also gave her the opportunity to tell me that they were actually inviting everyone for dinner Boxing Day and not Christmas Day, which works just fine for me… I have nothing else planned for those days (or for the week for that matter) so I am not concerned about moving things around or conflicts. What I am concerned with is how much turkey I am going to eat… and how to politely but firmly refuse deserts.

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Okay, I did not gain weight, but at 1/5^th of a kilogram, which is essentially exactly where I was two weeks ago. Yes, as I mentioned, I was weight much later in the morning than usual, but that does not make it any better. I have lost my focus, and while I have not started down that slippery slope, I am not making progress. Hopefully with the new meds that I just started today that will change. I need to regain my focus. I need to start making progress again.

I am off to see my children to light the candles. It’s been one of those days. Tomorrow will be better.

Have a great day folks!