Losing a part of me

It is much later in the day than I would normally sit down to write my daily entry. Here I am.

I got a much later start than I normally would this morning. I did not get out of bed until 9:00am or so, which means that by the time I got home from taking her Floofness out it was closer to 10:00am. I made breakfast (as normal, if later). I then studied for thirty minutes before running out to have my haircut. When I came back home, I studied for another hour before deciding that I did not have any more time to get any smarter before I needed to sign in for my exam.

I have been trying to study all week, but my mind has just not been in it. I have really just been staring at words on the page; My mind was absorbing nothing. The only thing I had going for me was that I do know the field. Cybersecurity is not exactly unknown territory for me, although oftentimes the exam questions are written in a way that make really intelligent people scratch their heads. However much last-minute cramming I might get in, I was resigned to the fact that I was going to fail this exam.

I was not at all prepared for the exam, and as I sat looking at the screen, I was doing my best to just pick the answers that made me look least clueless. That was not an easy task. By the halfway mark, I was just hoping that my final score would not be too embarrassing. I was encouraged toward the end of the exam when the last ten or so questions seemed easier… not easy per se, but more straightforward; the answers were obvious if you understood the material. There was suddenly a chance that I would pull this off, but I was still doubtful.

I pressed the ‘Review’ button after I answered the last question. At this point I had the opportunity to review any questions I might have marked, but this is not something I normally do when sitting for certification exams. I clicked ‘End Review.’ At this point I just wanted to know if I passed… or how badly I failed. No! before that, there is a short survey they would like me to complete… not so much a survey as a questionnaire, and not so much short as… something like twenty questions. I answer them honestly, partly in protest but partly because I know soon enough, I will know for sure that I failed the exam. There is also a small part of me that is convinced that if you do not answer all of their questions honestly, they will dock you ten points from your final score. I know, that is not how it works… but maybe it is!?

Okay, it’s done. Now I will know for sure how badly I failed. The screen comes up telling me that the passing score is 750 (of a possible 900). My score is… 753. I let out the breath I had not realized I was holding in. I actually passed. I did not expect to pass. Monday or Tuesday I will receive an email from CompTIA congratulating me on my new certification. I called my buddy Jay who knows more about cybersecurity than I ever could, just so I could share the news with him. I did not make any more calls, although I did message one friend – a reader of the blog, who was chatting with me yesterday about it. I told her I was not likely to pass, and she told me she believed in me. I am happy to say that she was right. Funny… I don’t feel happy. It’s just a saying.

Alright, so where are we on the weight loss front? After the tremendous jump yesterday, I was relieved to see a slight drop on the bathroom scale this morning… although not as much as I would have liked. I had gained a full five pounds the previous day, so dropping only 1.4 lbs. this morning was a bit of a letdown… although an expected one. That kind of weight is not likely to shed off in one or two days. Yes, I am still above that dreaded 250 lbs. mark. I hope that tomorrow I can drop below it again. We’ll see.

It is now 7:15pm, and I reached out to my weight loss buddy to see if she is free for a call later tonight. If she is, then I will light up the balcony heater and pick a cigar. If not, then I will likely just stay inside and watch TV. I don’t know… we’ll see.

That’s all for today. See you tomorrow.