Losing a part of me

Author: Mitch Garvis

  • Day 910

    I did yesterday what I should be doing every day. I had breakfast and lunch, and then for my dinner I had a meal replacement shake. It may have taken me four hours to fall asleep after getting into bed exhausted, but at no point did I feel hungry. That is a huge victory! It is a much smaller victory that the bathroom scale reflected a drop of 3.2 lbs. from yesterday morning, dropping me below 290 once more. I will not consider any numeric losses to be huge victories until they are in the 250s or lower… and until they stay there.

    As I wrote yesterday, I was off kilter with my meds. I did not take them on Tuesday, and I was not able to pick up my refilled prescription from the pharmacy until later in the day yesterday; rather than wait, I took one of the remaining lower-dose pills that I still had. I think it did me okay, but I was still a bit out of sorts after 9:30pm. This morning, I took my full dosage and am hoping for great things. We’ll see.

    If I can follow the same food intake today as yesterday, then I think I will do okay. That is the plan folks.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 909

    I spent the entire yesterday walking around like a zombie. I could not for the life of me figure out why I was so exhausted! I took three naps during the day – unheard of for me… unless I was sick. Post hoc ergo propter hoc, I must have been sick, right?! 

    No, I was not sick… I was stupid… and if it was not for Microsoft and WordPress telling me that it was bad grammar, I would capitalize the first letter of that word. 

    I had run out of one of my medications. Okay, I called the pharmacy and asked them to refill it, which would not be a problem. In the meantime, I did not take the meds in the morning. I was not only exhausted throughout the day, but as the witching hour approached, and as I waited for my laundry (read: my bedding) to dry, the fatigue hit me hard. Had I realized that I had not taken my medications, I would not have been so worried… but there were a few minutes when I wondered if I was truly sick. It was only once I got into bed and checked the messages on my phone that I realized that yes, the pharmacy had messaged me that my prescription refill was ready to be picked up… but the message had been lost in the shuffle. That made the lightbulb go off, and I realized why I was feeling so bad. 

    For the second day in a row, my weight is back above 290 lbs., and I am not pleased about that. With that said, I did not eat anything bad today, and I am hoping to see some weight loss tomorrow morning. 

    Lesson learned: Do not mess with the meds! 

  • Day 908

    Another day… feeling exhausted!

  • Day 907

    I was disgusted to see my weight jump nearly three pounds yesterday morning, bringing it above 290 lbs. I spent the day with my godchildren and their parents, and that included some food… but not as much as it might have been. Fortunately, this morning my weight dropped a full two pounds, so not back to what I weighed Saturday, but much better than yesterday. My goal for today is to make it another good day and lose more weight tomorrow.

  • Day 906

    Not Good.

  • Day 905

    I was relieved (and somewhat surprised) to see my weight again from yesterday morning. I am not doing great on my diet, but I suppose I am not doing as terribly as I might. It is hard to stay true to it when I am so down, but I will keep trying.

    Don’t worry… I am not down in the sense that I am going to do anything drastic. I am just sad that Leslie is gone, and distraught over the Jew-hatred rampant throughout the world… especially these last nine months. I am not going to hurt myself, except insofar as I am eating things that I should not.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 904

    I did marginally better yesterday than I did the day before, and my weight did drop on the bathroom scale… a little. I hope that I did better today. With that said, I have been extremely down. 

    Two friends came to see me at different points during the day. It was good to see them both. One of them I have not seen since March, the other is a Lodge brother who I see on a regular basis. It is good to have friends. 

    Have a great evening folks! 

  • Day 903

    I have been very down since I dropped Leslie at the airport yesterday. My eating reflected that, and I was shocked by the number on my bathroom scale this morning. I tried to do better today, and maybe I did… but only a little.

  • Day 902

    It was all that I could do to not cry as I dropped Leslie off at the airport this morning. We got up as usual, so after my morning rituals I took Her Royal Floofness out for a very short walk… as I suspected it would be as soon as I realized that it was or had been raining. Let me be perfectly clear, I would have taken her on her usual 1.5km circuit of the park; my dog just does not like the wet. Anyhow, we came back into the apartment and Leslie was finishing up her packing. I made a half pot of coffee, knowing that we would be having breakfast out, but that after breakfast I would be in the car for 90 minutes to and from the airport.

    I was pleasantly surprised to discover that even after yesterday’s sushi meal (followed by a decadent piece of chocolate cake) my weight was still down a bit this morning. That means that even with the jump in weight from my birthday celebration, my weight is still lower than it was on any day since Leslie arrived… and since June 30. Yay!

    Our final morning together of this trip was mostly subdued. We were both sad that she has to fly back to Dallas today, so we were not happy and joyous. We are going to miss each other terribly… and I am going to have to find a way to plan a trip down to Dallas sometime next month.

    I was hoping that my buddy Mitchell would come over in the afternoon for a cigar and to discuss some of my emotional issues, but he had to cancel. Okay, I’ll just make it through the day. After lunch I have a meeting about a project I am working on, and then after that I would like to record a video for my class’s graduation which is two weeks from today. That means that I will be dressing up fancy… but I do not want to wear the same outfit for the video as I will for the class. I’ll have to make a wardrobe change in between.

    Other than that, I have some studying to do for an exam I am sitting this weekend, and I hope to be able to read a little from my book. Yes, it is that time of year again, when my favourite living fiction author releases his new novel. I downloaded it onto my eBook reader on Wednesday, and while Leslie worked yesterday afternoon, I read the first few chapters. That will accompany my cigar after my meeting today.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 901

    My weight dropped almost half a pound this morning. This despite not having any success on the throne this morning, and after Leslie and I ate a delicious but very large piece of fish with a couple of egg rolls for dinner… at 9:10pm. I have hope that within a day or two I might drop to my pre-Canada Day Fireworks Trauma weight, and a few days later I will get down below 280 lbs. again.

    Today is Leslie’s last full day here, and that makes me sad. I know I have to appreciate what time we do have (and I do), but we really do not have enough of it. One week every couple of months is no way to maintain a healthy relationship. I try to show a brave and strong face for her, but it kills me inside when I have to drop her off at the airport.

    Last week we were at Costco and I saw that they have on sale a Ninja appliance that includes the functionality of my old Ninja blender, plus a food processor and a pitcher, with all of the different blades to make all sorts of goodies… including healthy ones. As I was waiting for a cheque to come in, I decided to hold off. That cheque arrived over the weekend, and so yesterday we went back to Costco to pick it up. We then went to the supermarket to get the necessary ingredients to make our first masterpiece, and when we got home, we did it. Yes, I am now one of those people who buys a fancy kitchen appliance, and the first thing I did with it was make dog-friendly ice cream treats for Princess Sophie. While they are perfectly human-friendly (peanut butter, yogurt, and bananas), I froze them and let Her Floofness know that they are special treats just for her. (I did lick my fingers… yum!)

    I will make lunch for us today, and then for dinner we will go for sushi. That has been the plan since before Leslie even arrived. I was hoping that we could enjoy another bottle of ice wine with our post-dinner cigar, but the Liquor Control Board of Ontario is on strike, so the best we can do is to pick something up from the wine section of the supermarket.

    Have a great day folks!