Losing a part of me

Category: Challenges

  • Day 586

    Yesterday was the first day in I don’t know how many that I got through the day without my wife being here that I did not cheat at all. It is not easy to get through these days, but I am finding inspiration in my wife. She is an amazing woman who has been through so much; if she is willing to put up with me then I owe it to her to look and to feel as good as I can, and to stay as healthy as I can so as to not make her a widow – or worse, a nursemaid to an infirm husband. I am back on track, and I will keep at it so that I can be the best me that I can be. When I pick her up at the airport in California in just over three weeks, she will see the slimmest Mitch that she has ever seen… I make that promise not to her but to myself.

    By staying true to the program I was rewarded on the bathroom scale this morning, this time by a drop of .6 lbs. Doing as I have done these last few days, there are now twelve days that I registered at or lower than my current weight. There was one day in mid-April, and then from May 20 (when my weight was the same as it is this morning) through May 31st. If I drop another .4 lb tomorrow morning, then that number will drop to nine. With a lot of mindfulness and discipline then within the week that scale should be behind me, and looking forward I will only see uncharted weight territory. How exciting… as long as I can stay true to the program.

    I have two obstacles today that I have to overcome with regard to my goal of staying on track. The first is a couple of errands I have to run in the afternoon. Before I go to see my barber, I have to stop off at an office to sign a few papers, but that is of no concern. I seem to have a pattern of going to Bulk Barn to buy peanuts after getting my hair cut. I have to be mindful that I come straight home after that. The second obstacle is that I am meeting someone to buy more meal replacements; he is someone I was advising on the program but who decided it is not for him, and we are meeting for a cup of coffee. There is no harm in the coffee; what else might be tempting at the café is quite another story. I will gird myself to stay disciplined and will not succumb to any temptations. It is so easy to say or write that at 9:45am, an hour after I finished my breakfast omelette, and in the comfort and safety of my apartment. It is quite another to say it in the face of the temptations. I can only do my very best to stay focused and remember why I am depriving myself of all of those foods that I love… so that I will eventually look and feel better than I have in decades.

    Okay, following the conclusion of that paragraph I should mention that I do now already look and feel much better than I have in decades… it is simply that I want to keep improving upon what I have achieved… looking and feeling even better than I do now. That will only come with discipline, and I know it.

    Last night following my class I had my first meeting in a month with my diet buddy. She has moved to Yukon for the year and so our meetings will all be virtual, but it was great to catch up with her. She told me about some of the challenges that she is facing in her new environment. We can talk about small towns in southern Ontario and joke about it, but they are nothing like the sheer isolation of the great white north. She is a schoolteacher, and the stories of her indigenous students tear at your heart. I remember the expression that ‘There but for the grace of G-d go I.’ Yes, I have experienced a hard and challenging life, but it pales in comparison to how some of those children are growing up. Nearly two months after the move she is still adjusting to her new reality, and I hope that when she does get acclimated she will resume with her weight loss success.

    In speaking with Leslie the other day I realized something horrible. She told me she was tempted by a particular food – I do not remember what – and I told her about a weight loss mantra that I have heard many times over the years: Nothing tastes as good as slim feels. When she told me that it was a mantra for anorexics I was horrified. I did not know that the people who said this suffer from a mental condition that is so unhealthy as to lead to hospitalization and even death. I will never forget that lesson and will tell it to the next person who says it to me.

    I am putting off buying a new hard drive. One of my external storage devices failed yesterday, and it will need to be replaced. Fortunately there was nothing critical on it, but I do need the device. I am thinking of purchasing a network attached storage (NAS) device to replace it, but I do not feel like spending the money just now. I have other priorities, and I will hold off a while. I think before I buy that, I should probably buy my server… which I have put off buying because I just do not feel like spending the money right now. There is no connection between that and the meal replacements I am buying today (which will set me back over $500 for what I am buying, and which cannot be put on a credit card); I need to eat, and while my storage will be a little tighter now than it was previously, I am sure I will be able to make do for a couple of months.

    Okay, I suppose it is time for me to get on with it. I am going to see if my wife is available, and if not then I will get a couple of hours of studying in before heading out for my first set of errands.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 569

    Yesterday was the third day that I stuck to the plan, and this morning was the second day in a row that I dropped 1.4 lbs. from the previous day. For the second time in just three days I have been able to walk to my fridge and cross a number off my list. I am quite elated by that!

    It took a few days, but I suspect I am now used to having breakfast, and then three meal replacements spaced out properly throughout the day. I would not say that I am not a bit peckish when it comes time for the next shake, but I have also not been so ravenous that I have waited eagerly watching the clock, and I have not once felt the need to move my shake up an hour because of hunger. In fact, yesterday Leslie and I were having a video cigar date and I was happy to put off my meal replacement until I was finished with my cigar, which meant it was probably 30 minutes later than usual.

    I am back on track. I am on a mission to lose enough weight by the High Holidays that I will need to get my suit altered in order to wear it comfortably to synagogue. Rosh Hashana starts in 35 days, but I do not have a shul to go to in Canada. Yom Kippur starts in 43 days, and if I can lose 30 pounds in that time then I will be absolutely over the moon. It is an ambitious goal, but if I try my best then what would be the result? I will have tried to lose 30 pounds and only lost 22 pounds; I can live with that as a failure! As they say, shoot for the stars… if you miss then you will hit the moon.

    There is a flash storm going through Burlington right now with thunder and lightning as the rain pours down. It is predicted to last less than an hour, after which the sky will clear up for the rest of the day (save a 50% chance of rain for another 30-60 minutes later in the afternoon). As such I am going to bide my time and stay inside, and when the rain abates, I will go out for a cigar. This evening I am invited to a cigar party in Georgetown which should be fun. I am amused that it is a pool party only because of what I see happening outside my window right now but knowing that it is forecast to clear up shortly I am excited to see the gang of friends.

    My plan for the day is to stay on track! The event this evening is including a barbecue and I told the host that I will not be eating. I am planning to time my meal replacements very strategically: I am going to delay my midday shake to about 1:00 or even 1:30pm, which means I would then be ready for my next one at 5:30pm, and I will literally drink it right before going into the event. I will stay for 3-4 hours maximum and will be ready to have my last shake either on my way home, or at worst when I arrive home… hopefully before 10:00pm. I am going to make sure that I have what I need to make my last shake in the car so that if it turns out that I am having so good a time that I want to stay later then I will just excuse myself to the car for a few minutes and then return to the festivities, cigar in hand.

    I know… today’s plan will require tremendous willpower on my part. I have to remind myself that I had been on a break from weight loss for 2.5 months, and to quote the pilot episode of The West Wing: Break’s over. No, today is not going to be just another excuse to cheat. If I want to come close to my goal of losing 30 lbs. by Yom Kippur, then I cannot falter… today or tomorrow or next week. I have to be mindful, and I need to stay on the program. That’s my goal for today.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 454

    Today is Yom HaShoah. It is the day every year that Jews set aside to remember the Holocaust. Perhaps it would be more accurate to write commemorate, as for most of us – at least those of my generation – seldom does a day pass when we do not remember it. There are reminders everywhere if you know what to look for. If that makes it sound like we are all wallowing in misery, let me clarify; it is vital that we remember because if we do not, and if we do not teach our children about it, then it is bound to happen again. I have stories that I will not share here of encounters with survivors. I remember meeting them as a child, as a soldier. So many encounters with so many incredible people who, when I was lucky enough, would share their stories with me. More than one of those stories changed my life. It has been seventy-eight years since the camps were liberated; the survivors who are still with us are octogenarians (and nonagenarians). They have seen so much, but one day they will all be gone, and it will be my generation’s responsibility to continue to share their stories. We must never forget.

    Sometimes you fall off the wagon, and getting back on track is painful and grueling. I spent three days off my program (although still jogging), and I was determined to get back onto it yesterday. As I said I would, I walked the kilometre to the post office to ship my package. I also bought a bundle of pocket tissues because it was raining, and I could already feel my nose dripping. As I walked out of the pharmacy, I started my run. I honestly did not know how far I would be able to go and did not set out with any particular course in mind. I wanted to extend my current streak of hitting my steps goal, and the fact that it was raining a little would not stop me. That I felt a weird and nagging ache in my hip would not stop me, as long as I stayed true to my self-promise that I would listen to my body. I had almost arrived at Guelph Line, but rather than crossing the shopping centre parking lot and then the thoroughfare, I turned down onto the walking/biking path (which would take me to that same street in a few moments anyways). I crossed Guelph Line, staying with the off-road paved path. I knew there were several streets onto which I could turn up when I realized I was running out of steam. I was not entirely sure where the path ultimately led, but I was sure I would not find out on this outing.

    Something strange happened on my run yesterday. I have jogged over 5km something like 30 times in the last couple of months, whether on the streets or treadmill. Every time I do, I pull up for a break for just a minute or two every couple of kilometres, sometimes every kilometre. At a certain point I realized the walking/biking path was coming to an end. I saw Costco in the distance, and tried to reconcile where exactly that was. Oh, right… North Service Road near the corner of Brant Street, which means the path had curved down a bit. Okay, should I stop? No, not yet. It’s still raining a bit… maybe I’ll pop into a store and get dry for a moment? I know I don’t have my Costco membership card with me, and anyways if I turn up Brant then maybe I will stop into one of the stores at the corner of Mount Royal. What happens if I stop, and my hip locks up? I would have to take an Uber home, and that is not what I want to do. Maybe I’ll just keep going for another kilometre. We’ll see.

    The only time I paused my trackers during the entire outing yesterday was when I was stopped at a red light at the corner of Guelph Line (on the return trip). I peaked down and I was 7.5km into my run. I was stopped for fifteen seconds. I realized at a certain point that it might have been my first jog over 5km during which I did not stop to rest. If I can keep that up, then who knows? Maybe there is hope for me yet!

    Jogging

    • Distance: 10.08km (5.18km)
    • Duration: 1:18:17 (39:58)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 7m46s (7m43s)
    • Steps: 12,150 (6,120)
    • Calories burned: 1,200 (600)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 155 (153)

    I should also note that my per-kilometre pace was below 8m0s for every kilometre except one; for reasons likely pertaining to wind and elevation, the seventh kilometre was clocked at 8m03s.

    Where does this leave me in my challenges? When I checked yesterday after coming in I was ranked 22,154 (of 144,259 participants), in the top 15.36%. Oddly enough, in my age and gender bracket I am not even cracking the top 25%… I stand 3,395 of 13,167 participants, only good for the top 25.78%. I do not know who the leaders are, but the leader is averaging nearly 40km per day, which leads me to believe that something might be rotten in the state of Denmark. I honestly don’t care though… If I complete the challenge then I am equally eligible for the prizes as he is, as they are drawn at random from everyone who completed the challenge.

    I have to admit, between the killer jog, my staying true to the program (for the first time since Thursday), and a really good bowel movement this morning, I was a bit disappointed that the numbers on the bathroom scale did not drop a little more than they did. .2 lb. is really just a statistical blip. No matter, it will come… I just have to prove to my body that I am serious about not cheating. My only aberration from the program yesterday was a cup of Japanese milk tea, which I needed because my throat would not have made it through the last hour of my lecture last night.

    We always say that if you don’t like the weather in Canada, just wait a few minutes. As Her Floofness and I walked this morning in the near-freezing temperatures, more than one fellow fur-parent expressed their shock at the drop in temperature. I reminded them that last week was the anomaly, and that this is the norm for mid-April. That does not change the fact that all of us long for a speedy return to the high-20s, but that is not normal for this time of year. With a high temperature forecast as a windy 5°, I decided early that today will be a day to work out in shorts and a t-shirt… at the gym, followed by a hydro massage and a stint in the sauna. After all, what am I paying them for if I am not going to use the facilities, right?

    I cannot lollygag around on the computer for a few hours before finally changing into my workout kit today as I did yesterday. I have to be at my therapist’s office in Oakville for 1:30pm, which means that I will try to remember to bring my meal replacement with me to the gym so that I do not face the same quandary I did three weeks ago when I scrambled to pick up peanuts in my mad dash from the gym to the therapist and then to my barber. If I get to the gym by 10:30am then I should be able to get through a leisurely workout and then post-workout routine in time to leave and drive unrushed to her office. My buddy Eduardo might be coming over for a cigar later, which will be nice despite the unpleasant weather. We have not seen each other in a few weeks, and he just returned from Cuba with some goodies for me. I am unsure of what he brought, but if there is a box worthy of the occasion, I am still undecided on which cigars to hand out to guests at the wedding. He might just have the answer for me when he comes over this afternoon!

    This evening I will be in the dojang. I am so happy to be back at Taekwondo and wish that I had the freedom to do it more than twice per week. We must always be patient, especially when we are studying an art in which the mental aspect of patience and calm are so important. I also know that in mid-May I am starting a new teaching contract that will have me teaching the two evenings when I am usually able to go to the dojang, and that will continue through mid-July. I will be speaking with the Master to ask him if there might be some accommodation that can be made for me to train outside the hours of the adult/Black Belt classes… after all, I should not need anything other than the gym. If that is not possible, then I could also use one of the studios at my gym for the same purpose – after all, didn’t I write just two paragraphs ago that I should be using the facilities as long as I am paying for them? Maybe I will speak with the gym manager today to ask if that would be alright. I cannot imagine it would be an issue.

    I found out this morning that a close friend is in the hospital, and I am worried. I spoke with his wife, and she assured me that it was not a heart attack, but the doctors still need to run some more tests to figure out what is going on. In the meantime, my buddy is nearly thirteen years my junior, but I have thought on several occasions that he is working himself into an early grave. I have one more person to pray for today. Four, actually… I will pray for his wife and my godchildren as well (although I always do, but not with the specificity I will today). This is just one more reason why I am glad that I am getting myself into better shape and taking care of my health. I do not want Leslie to have to call an ambulance for me because I am on the floor clutching my chest.

    Okay, it is time to get moving. Today will be my second day true to the program, although if I need to grab something, it will be a very small handful of nuts. With a morning workout and an evening Taekwondo class I would not begrudge myself that if it is needed. Tomorrow through Friday I might be able to jog outside, although Friday through Sunday they are predicting rain. We’ll see. Today is a gym day for sure.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 453

    I am not sure why I was unable to stay on my program for the last three days. I am just glad that my dedication to staying active, to jogging and when I can’t jog anymore then to walking, has stopped me gaining more weight than I did. Despite falling off my program these last three days, I am still just over 3 lbs. up from my best weight ever (recorded Friday). Knowing what I ate Friday and Saturday and Sunday, it would have been much worse had I cheated and not stayed active.

    I wrote yesterday about my streaks, and sure enough I was able to continue to creep toward my best ever walking streak, which was a 10-day period that I spent in Havana leading up to the pandemic. Yesterday was my seventh day meeting my steps target (which Garmin has set at 8,560 steps per day), and I plan to keep going all week. The thing is, when I set that streak in 2020, Garmin had my step goal set much lower (under 5,000 steps per day). I know that while I need three more days to tie and then break that personal record according to the app, I have already crushed it, with just over 115,500 steps in that seven-day period. The Garmin app does acknowledge that last week is in fact my record for most steps in a week since I have been using it (dating to September 24, 2019). My most steps in a month was in July 2020 when I was living in California and doing a lot of walking, both with my dog and for exercise. As of this writing I am seventeen days into the month of April and I am not quite halfway there… but if you take into account that I spent a week in Dallas not exercising, I am not doing too bad. I would have to average slightly over 14,000 steps per day every day until the end of the month to beat that record. Considering my daily average over the last week is 16,400, I have a pretty good chance of hitting it… as long as I stay on track! (I should also remember that the last three days of the month I will be traveling with Leslie, culminating in our wedding on April 30! If it comes down to the wire, I will probably miss it by a few steps. Those three days I will have much more important things to worry about than my steps goals.)

    While I did not end up keeping my pledge to myself yesterday to get back on track on my full-fast program, I did jog. After Saturday’s record-breaking outing I decided I needed to take it easy yesterday, so just shy of 5.2km I pulled up and walked the rest of the way. I was happy to hit that, and with the 2.35km walk that followed, I still got 7.5km in before hitting the showers.

    Jogging

    • Distance: 5.18km (15.01km)
    • Duration: 39:58 (1:59:05)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 7m43s (7m56s)
    • Steps: 6,120 (17,850)
    • Calories burned: 600 (1,850)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 153 (150)

    I have mentioned a few times that I am using some of the challenges (both on Garmin and on MapMyFitness.com) to inspire me to push myself. On the 1,023 in 2023 challenge on MapMyFitness I am poised to crack the top 16% of participants today. That challenge gives interim badges, with my next one (400km) less than 60km away. I really feel that I am doing well, although I am also motivated by the tremendous weight loss I have enjoyed, and the great shape my legs are in!

    There are quite a few more challenges on the Garmin app than on MMF. Some of these are simply automated challenges from Garmin, which awards points and badges for each one achieved. Others are challenges created by other members who challenge each other, and we use them to either motivate themselves or others, or else they like to compete and look good. I never expect to win the challenges versus others, but there are occasionally good conversations in the groups. As such, I posted the following in one of them this morning:

    Well, I’ll not be competing to win this challenge, but I do not consider myself in competition with anyone but myself. My ‘Most Steps in a Day’ was October 1 when my wife and I took our stepson to Disneyland. My most steps in a month was in July, 2020… the last time I was really on a good weight-loss journey. My most steps in a week was the week that ended yesterday, and I plan to break that record this week. Thanks for the motivation, folks! I don’t care that I sit in 45th place… I want to be the #1 me that I can be!

    When I see people in these challenges logging 200,000 steps in a week, I know that I am not nearly able to compete with that, but they do motivate me to do better sometimes. There is one weekly steps challenge that I participated in for the week that ended last night, and while I was 22nd overall, it is nice to know that fewer than 10,000 steps separated me from 16th place… and that 75 people finished behind me. While there is so often too much chatter in some of these challenges, and I will leave the ones that are too disturbing (my watch vibrates with every message), I still enjoy the ones that I am in… even though I seldom win.

    I will mention that my list of accomplishment badges keeps improving, with nearly seventy badges already earned – six for running, five for steps, twenty for challenges. They really mean nothing outside of the Garmin Connect world, but when I see that one is within my reach I will push myself a little harder to earn it… such as the 100k steps badge for the first two weeks of April, my 15km run activity for April, and my 300k steps in March badge (which was earned by pushing myself just a little bit harder on March 31). They mean nothing after they are earned, but they mean a lot when they get me to push myself just that little bit harder.

    I made a decision to have my suit altered, so I made an appointment for Wednesday afternoon (knowing I need it back by the following Wednesday). I want to look perfect in our wedding pictures, and I do not think that having my belt so tight as to cut off circulation in order for my pants to not fall down is quite the look I am going for… nor the creased beltline of the pants that causes.

    I have done a bit of lollygagging this morning as I tried to get through this article, but it is time for me to publish and get going. My plan for the day is to stay on track! I have a package that I have to ship today, so when I am finished, I will change into my running kit, take the box and walk to the post office (which is actually in the pharmacy), and when I am done there then I will jog for an hour or so. When I get home, I will vow to stay on track. I have a few calls I have to make about the wedding today. After that, I am teaching this evening, but if all goes well, I should still have time for a cigar on the balcony before I teach.

    The weather has turned, and while it is not hard, it looks like I will be jogging in a light rain. I thought briefly about going to the gym instead, but then I remembered that I am a hearty Canadian with the right gear and the right attitude. I will have my meal replacement after my shower, which I know will be a bit late, but will not be the end of the world. In the meantime, I will get out there and I will get my 10,000 steps in… whatever the weather.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 452

    Today is the day that I break my previous streak. As soon as I pressed the publish button to send my journal entry to my blog yesterday, I received notification that I was on a 225-day streak. That means that when I do the same today, I will now be on the longest streak since starting on this journey, 452 days ago. It is appropriate then that when I get home from my jog later today that I will hit a seven-day streak on meeting my steps goal (according to my Garmin fitness watch). My longest streak on that is ten days, so if I jog (or walk) every day between now and then, I could break that streak on Thursday. I believe that my best streak this year is eight days, which culminated by recording 10,000 steps on April 2, many of which would have been while moving and shaking at the Taylor Swift concert. I would like to set a new best streak record this week… especially knowing that when I set that ten-day streak, my steps total goal was less than 5,000. For the past few months, Garmin has set it at 8,560… but this streak I have made sure to exceed 10,000 steps every day (with a high of 22,950 yesterday and 21,800 steps on Tuesday, and two other days exceeding 17,000 steps).

    I was reticent about my jog yesterday before I headed out only because the previous day (Friday) had been such a disaster. I was not out to prove anything, I just wanted to do my best. As long as I was able to get back up to what I had previously thought of as my minimum distance (5km) then I would be satisfied. Let me tell you, I blew that out of the water. I was about .5km from home when my tracker told me I was at 11.5km, and I was out of water. If I turned the corner onto Walker’s Line, then I would be home and hydrated in less than five minutes. I decided to pull up and walk, knowing that I would get to the pharmacy in under 1km. I have been telling myself (and writing herein) that the Garmin Connect app has a badge for a 15km jog, and this was my chance to earn it. I slowed to a walk until I got to the pharmacy, and paused my trackers while I went in. Disappointed they did not have a sugar-free energy drink, I bought a bottle of water which I poured into my empty container. I continued my journey (restarting my trackers as I left the store), and when my distance read 13km I started jogging again. Following the path that I chose it would be precisely two more kilometres to home. I took several short breaks over the 15km jog (really 13.5/1.5), but I did it. I got home and felt amazing!

    Jogging

    • pb Distance: 15.01km (6.23km)
    • pb Duration: 1:59:05 (47:51)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 7m56s (7m40s)
    • pb Steps: 17,850 (7,500)
    • pb Calories burned: 1,850 (633)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 150 (156)

    It is nice to note that for the running portion of my outing (that is, excluding the 1.5 km walked) I did not exceed 7m53s for any kilometre, and my average time was 7m34s. It is also nice to realize that when I arrived home, I did not feel the need to collapse into my bed (or onto the floor). I took a much-needed shower, and then I got dressed, made my meal replacement, collected some cigars, and headed out to Cambridge to see Ryan and the boys.

    I did cheat yesterday, which is probably why the numbers on the bathroom scale were down .8 lb. and not more. I’m okay with that, I did not expect to lose all of the weight I gained in my previous day all at once. I had some peanuts in the car while driving to Cambridge, and when I was there, I broke down and ate a couple of kebabs. While they were primarily protein, one of them had a very sweet sauce which means a lot of sugar. Oh well. Hopefully today I will be able to stay on track. When I am done writing I will head out for my jog, but it will not be like yesterday, I can promise you that! My Body Battery was 80 when I took Her Floofness out this morning, and it is still 73 now. That does not mean that I need to push myself to the brink every day. I will probably do 8-10km.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 451

    Yesterday was not a good day for my weight loss journey. There is a measurement on my new fitness watch called ‘Body Battery.’ It is metric that measures your current energy level based on several other readings, including your heart rate variability (another new one on this device), stress, activity, sleep, diet, and hydration. The body battery is a score between 0 and 100, and for most of the last couple of weeks, it would be as high as 88 and as low as the mid-40s, usually after a long jog. The highest number recorded yesterday was 26, which was before I set out on my jog. By 12:30, when I came in from my run, it was below 20, and would drop to a 6 by the time I mercifully fell into bed. When I woke up shortly after 7:15am this morning, it was a much more tenable 76. It is no wonder, as it is the first night in a week that the watch recorded my sleep as good, with over 8 hours asleep. My sleep score last night was 88 (Good), compared to the previous night’s 42 (Poor), and 62 (Fair), 44 (Poor), 79 (Fair) the previous nights. My last good night was Monday.

    After recording my webinar (which went much better than anticipated), I set out on my jog. I was less than a kilometre into it when I realized that the Body Battery reading was not a joke. I was a zombie out there and pulled up at the 2km mark – something I have not done in well over a month. I walked another 4km but decided to stop at the supermarket to pick up a chicken to roast and vegetables for a salad. I also cheated with a bag of mini crisps, which I knew was a bad idea. I was not making good decisions. I am also pretty sure that anyone who looked at me yesterday would have seen that I was dead on my feet. After eating my chicken and salad for lunch, I sat on the balcony with a cigar chatting with my wife. I did not get through the whole cigar because I needed to go inside for a nap. I would never have made it through my class had I not slept for an hour first.

    The result on the bathroom scale as of this morning unsurprisingly showed a gain of 3.6 lbs. from yesterday. I ate a big lunch, a big dinner, and the entire bag of mini crisps. I did it because I would not have gotten through the day without them… but I knew I would pay the price today. The small comfort is that I stepped onto the scale twice – the first time immediately when I got out of bed, and the second when I usually do – after my regular morning bathroom rituals, which mercifully included a very productive bowel movement. The difference between the two weigh-ins was nearly two pounds. I was neither happy with nor surprised by the 3.6 lbs. gain… had it been 5.6 lbs. I would have been much less pleased and much more surprised. I will do better today, both with regard to food intake (which will be back to zero, save for my meal replacements), and with my exercise (I will try to jog at least 5km today, and hopefully more). It will take a couple of days to recover the ground that I lost, but 2-3 days of discipline should get that done.

    Despite my poor performance on the road yesterday, I still managed to sneak into the top 17.5% of the 2023 Challenge, also breaking the top 25,000. Considering there are now 143,000 participants registered, I think that is pretty impressive. I have no delusions that I am going to be in the top 5% by the end of the year, but I do not have to be. How the current leaders have recorded 4,500 km walking and running this year is beyond me, and I will never be in that kind of shape again. I don’t even know if I was in that kind of shape when I was in the Army. I know that the person who is ranked 500th has recorded 1,253km so far, just under 12km per day if he walked or jogged every day since January 1. In a side-by-side comparison, I have averaged just over 3km per day in that time. I know that with the exception of a few days, in January and February I was only walking my dog, and although I did start running on February 11, there were still only six days in February when I recorded runs, and only on five of those days did I exceed 6km combined walking and jogging. Compare that to March, a month in which I recorded 20 days over 6km. We are halfway through April, and I have thus far only recorded six days over 6km, but that includes the week when I was in Dallas with a torn-up foot and a work schedule that was not conducive to getting out. The next two weeks that end with my getting married to Leslie on Day 15 (for those of you who are not regular readers, we were married last year in a civil ceremony, but on April 30 we are having a religious service) should allow me to match March’s 20 days. All this to say is that it is unlikely that I will crack the top 1000 on the 2023 Challenge, but if I keep up my current pace, it is not unheard of that I might crack the top 10%. Of course, I love tracking these things, but I am not in competition with anyone but myself. I do not have to beat the Gerald Sinclair who has averaged 12km per day since January 1… I have to beat the Mitch Garvis whose average for January was 1.4km per day, and whose average for February was only slightly better at 2.15km per day, and whose average for March shot up to nearly 6km per day. I have to remember that walking the dog does not count as exercise, even though the steps technically register. I need to be the best me that I can be.

    With my increased body battery (currently at a comfortable 72), I will go for a jog around 11:30am, and then will drive out to Cambridge to spend the afternoon with Ryan et al. I have a few things I need to bring to him, and it will be good to see him anyways. He has been going through some crap at work, and I want to be there for him as a friend. He asked me yesterday when we discussed it if I would join them for dinner (he is making kebabs and salad) and I told him yesterday that I would let him know. This morning I told him that I would come out for cigars, but I would absolutely not be eating with them. Yesterday was a cheat day, and I am not sorry that I did that (although I wish I had not eaten quite as much as I did), but I will not be doing it two days in a row. Tomorrow morning, I will step onto the bathroom scale and my weight will be down from today, even though it will still be up from yesterday. One day off track is understandable, especially with how I was feeling. Two days would be unacceptable, except under very specific circumstances. I am feeling good today, and those circumstances are not present. That means I am staying on track!

    Charlie (Princess Sophie’s friend) just went home, so I will be able to get out for my jog a little earlier than anticipated. I will stay on track today, and hopefully my jog will be a lot more successful than yesterday’s (of which I am not even recording my stats). When I get home, I will shower, then make sure to have a meal replacement before heading out. I will also pack one to take with me, knowing that I will likely be out past when I would normally eat my third one. Leslie is currently on a plane bound for Central America, and I am worried about her. I know that when she lands, she will let me know that she is safe, but I do not like that I cannot be there with her. I suppose this is what I will be focusing on while I jog. I might take a break from my audio books and catch up on some of my favourite podcasts. It has been a couple of weeks since I did that, which means there will be more than enough for me to get through a 90-minute jog (optimism springs eternal) and then my car ride to Cambridge.

    My plans for today are to get back on track, to be mindful and focused, and to shed the day-over-day weight gain from yesterday to be back into best weight ever territory by Monday or Tuesday. Again, optimism. In lieu of eating, I will enjoy a couple of really nice cigars, and I will enjoy the company of a couple of friends. Tomorrow I am likely heading to Hamilton to spend the afternoon with Lyle and Dorothy but let me take one day at a time.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 416

    Yesterday’s jog was definitely solid, with several personal bests including fastest kilometre. I thought I had to have best pace overall, but it seems like last Monday’s 3km jog was faster. Oh well, no big deal. I am still happy to have done the 5km. There is a caveat to that: I stopped at the 3km mark, but not because I was tired or winded. I received an important phone call that I needed to stop and take. It was an 8-minute call, and I paused my devices, rather than stopping them. I truly felt that had I not stopped I would have been able to continue on. I will try again today or Sunday.

    Jogging

    · Distance: 5 km (3 km)

    · Duration: 39:40 (23:08)

    · Average Pace (Min/km): 7m55s (7m42s)

    · Steps: 6,200 (3,600)

    · Calories burned: 596

    · Elevation gain: 13.99m

    · pb Average cadence (steps per minute): 157 (156)

    Walking

    · Distance: 3 km

    · Duration: 31:43

    · Average Pace (Min/km): 10m34s

    · Steps: 3,700

    · Calories burned: 351

    · Elevation gain: 40m

    · Average cadence (steps per minute): 117

    I feel silly… there is a Garmin Challenge (on my fitness watch app) that awards a badge for a 5km run this weekend. Yesterday’s run would have earned it, except for some reason I did not restart the run on my watch when I resumed. By the time I realized it I had lost nearly 7/10ths of a kilometre. Of course, the badge is meaningless… except it is another badge that reminds me of the amazing progress I have been making. I have a few friends that I am in challenges with, but this one is a self-challenge. I need never win a race against anyone else… I just need to beat myself… specifically, my old self. I want to be better today than I was yesterday; I want the me of next week to make the me of today look fat and slow. The collection of badges in an app are meaningless but they encourage me to get out and push myself just a little bit farther and harder than I might have otherwise. Knowing that it is available, I will get out tomorrow (or Sunday) and I will push myself to the 5km mark… or who knows, maybe past it!

    My modified program yesterday, combined with a lot of exercise, resulted in the expected slight drop in my weight this morning. I am down nearly half a pound from yesterday, which is exactly where I was hoping to be. This week I am not going to worry about the little things… minor improvements will be welcomed, and I am not going to get upset about not losing more.

    As we lay in bed this morning, Leslie once again showed herself to be a huge support for my weight loss. I offered to take her out for breakfast. She was softly pushing back, reminding me that it might not be a good idea. When I told her that I have proven before that I can eat a healthy breakfast out, she pushed back a little firmer, reminding me that we will be eating dinner out for sure, and possibly lunch. She was not forcing me, but she did everything to encourage me to make the right decision, which I finally did. In the end, I enjoyed my meal replacement shake for breakfast. In an hour or so I am going to go to Starbucks to pick up café lattés for us. This alone will be an indulgence for me, but it will not be anywhere near the indulgence that any restaurant breakfast might have been. I already had my airport breakfast this week, and I will be having plenty of other meals out while I am in Dallas. I set my goals for this trip over a week ago, or rather, my plans for how to achieve those goals. Restaurant breakfasts were never part of that plan. I have done so well sticking to my plans so far; this morning I have my wife to thank for keeping me on track.

    Last night we shared a challah roll to welcome in the Sabbath. It was delicious! For dinner I prepared a chopped salad with a little sesame oil and balsamic vinegar to accompany the main dish of chicken breasts breaded with Corn Flakes breadcrumbs. It was all quite delicious, and very healthy. This, after a lunch from Salad and Go. Overall, while I did not stick as religiously to my plan as I could have, I will put the day in the ‘success’ column.

    Speaking of columns, I am losing ground on my comparative chart to 2020. I am still half a pound ahead of the pace, but that is down from just a few days ago. Looking ahead, for the next seven days I fluctuated in a three-pound range just above 270 lbs. and would not finally drop below that number for another two weeks. If my weight stays where it is for the rest of my trip, I will still be well on my way to beating the pace from that year. This is not going to be my primary focus, but I do like to keep track of this.

    Have a great day folks… it is time for me to spend the day with my beautiful wife!

  • Day 395

    Holy crap it is cold outside. Knowing that the forecast high is well above the freezing mark, I was not expecting the biting wind and cold of -8°, with the wind chill making it feel ten degrees colder. Princess Sophie, lower to the ground where I suppose the wind is not so harsh, was happy to go for the full turn through the park, which meant that I did get over 2,000 steps in before my coffee, and it also meant I was quietly thanking G-d for the wonderful scarf that Leslie knit for me last year. Even through my leather gloves my fingers were chilled. Nevertheless, I am Canadian born and bred, and I knew to dress properly for this February morning, and aside from my digits, the only discomfort I felt was to the only exposed part of my body… my face.

    I met my goals yesterday. I stayed on track. Save for a single sugar-free lozenge during class, I did not veer from the program. I remember writing yesterday, the words still on the screen if I look at the last paragraph in this immense journal, that I would drop below the 280-pound mark in the next couple of days. I did not have to wait any longer than that; when I stepped off the bathroom scale this morning, I could hardly believe my eyes, but after re-checking it several times, the numbers read 279.8 lbs. As an added bonus (but wait… there’s more!) my body mass index (BMI), that measurement that earlier this week I railed against, dropped below 36. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (www.cdc.gov), I am about 7.5 lbs. away from dropping out of Obese Class II into Obese Class I. That precise milestone happens to coincide with another upcoming milestone, which is my best weight from 2017. I have added that as a note on my comparative chart from 2020, which this morning has me 1.2 lbs. better than I was on the corresponding day from that year (Day 16 of my comparison), although that is not entirely accurate, as I was in Las Vegas at the time, as I would be through Day 19.

    I have written before that setting short-term goals is one of the keys to long-term success because they give you something to reach for that is not years away but can be reached within a reasonable period. If I were only looking eighteen months ahead then in the grand scheme of things, why would it matter if I took one day off? With short-term goals, I know that last weekend’s failure with the nachos and salsa delayed today’s milestone by four or five days. I did not cheat again during the week (although that latté also slowed my progress), and I got here. When I started out, the idea of losing the 115 lbs. that I have so far lost was impossibly distant… so I set goals for 20, 40, 80, 100, 120, 140, and 170 pounds. I also set milestones at every 10 pounds, and several other benchmarks along the way. I have strived to reach those… and I have celebrated both the scale- and non-scale victories. Without setting short-term goals, I do not know if it would be possible for anyone to achieve that long-term success. Hitting milestones feels wonderful, and it is these short-term victories that spur us on to not cheat today.

    At the same exact moment that I was about to step onto the bathroom scale, I noticed a text message on my phone from a woman that I am trying to support through her weight loss journey. Through no fault of her own, she ran into a huge obstacle on her journey, and she was desperate to figure out how to handle it. I called her, and we spoke at length about different ways she could get past it. We also discussed how she should start making small lifestyle changes that will increase her chances for success by limiting her exposure to temptations. I have said since the first time I started this program in 2017 that I was lucky that I lived alone and did not have to be around someone else’s food… let alone have to prepare it for them.

    She has a teenage son for whom she has been cooking every evening, requiring her to be in the kitchen with the food every evening. I am not a gourmet chef by any measure (well, measured against the chefs in the Army I suppose I am) but I can tell you that I cannot imagine preparing food properly without tasting it to make sure I got it right. Her husband spends a lot of time on the road for work, but the son has to eat. I suggested that she come up with several meal ideas for him, then take him shopping… and teach him how to cook for himself. This is not only a good plan for her weight loss but will also greatly benefit him for the rest of his life. Start with a simple dish like spaghetti… here’s how to cook the noodles (and if there is anything easier than this other than toast then I don’t know what it is), and here’s how to empty the sauce into a pot and heat it up. Hamburgers! Here’s the patty, here’s the frying pan. You like onions and tomatoes on your burger? Great! Here’s a knife. Let’s make chicken! Here’s chicken-quarters, here’s a pan, here’s some seasoning. You get the picture. Oh, and by the way, kiddo… everything you use, you have to clean… so here’s how to minimize the mess that you make so as to facilitate the clean-up. Trust me, when you move into a university dorm… or when you are sixteen and your parents go away for the weekend… or when you are fifty-years-old, twice-divorced and living apart from your new wife because of the US Department of State… knowing how to prepare your own healthy meals without relying on ordering in all the time will be a huge lifesaver… not to mention that women find guys who can cook for them hot.

    Okay, we have addressed that problem… but what about the meal replacements that her clinic refuses to sell her until she comes in for an appointment, but they cannot fit her in until the beginning of next month? Okay, here’s a solution to that… and until they ship to you, here’s an interim solution.

    Perfect… I just wish that my friends understood. Guess what, lady? Nobody does. Your husband is wonderful and understanding and supportive and that is amazing. That does not mean that he understands. Your friends, who think that the program you are on is unhealthy because they are all so much smarter than you? Not only are they wrong, but they will never understand. This may sound obnoxious or arrogant (and it would not be the first time this week that I have been called either or both of those), but that’s why you have me. I told her the story about the guy who fell into a hole, which rather that typing out, I will copy and paste from the site http://www.westwingtranscripts.com, as it quotes the great Leo McGarry (played by the incredible John Spencer):

    This guy’s walking down a street, when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep. He can’t get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up “Hey you! Can you help me out?” The doctor writes him a prescription, throws it down the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up “Father, I’m down in this hole, can you help me out?” The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. “Hey Joe, it’s me, can you help me out?” And the friend jumps in the hole! Our guy says “Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here!” and the friend says, “Yeah, but I’ve been down here before, and I know the way out.”

    Like so many others, she is afraid to ask for help. Asking for help is not easy. I asked her what she was afraid of, and she told me that she was afraid that she would disappoint me when she failed. I told her about the nacho and salsa incident last Sunday… how I dealt with it, and how I recovered my footing the next day. I told her about how I did my research and planned out the meal in advance so that I would not fail… and then how I failed… not months ago, mind you; this happened six days ago. I could have told her about myriad other failures along my journey… not to mention the fact that my journey has started three times now, and I have now lost over one hundred pounds three times now… and twice I have regained it all back. I told her that people who do not fail, do not need my support. I told her that if she could do it alone, she would have done it alone. I told her that I would never judge her because I have been her… Hell, I am her. It is far too easy to gain weight and far too hard to lose it. The difference is that there are all sorts of people who will help you to gain it… in fact, it is so easy that you do not usually need their help. While there might be psychological reasons why we gain weight, it is a simple process… make bad choices, eat too much of it, repeat. If she wants my support then she should take advantage of it when she is about to cheat and needs someone to offer her alternatives… or when she has already cheated and needs someone who understands, and who can guide her away from the slippery slope.

    In January 2002 I was on a ski trip to Steamboat Springs, Colorado. I had not been on skis since 1981, and I knew that I would need lessons. After being fitted for my rental equipment, I spent the morning of that first day on the slopes with an excellent instructor who helped me to remember that I was once a skier, and he spent more time showing me the best trails than he did showing me technique. It really was just like riding a bike. I bade him farewell at the end of the morning, and after lunch at the top of the mountain, I headed out on my own.

    I found myself at a divide between two trails, and I decided that the green dot trail would be too easy for me. I opted for the blue square trail, which after remembering that I used to be a skier was more my speed. It was an unfamiliar trail, but I had been down many ‘blue runs’ that morning, and I would be fine. Pretty soon, that trail split into two… a blue run, and a double black diamond run, which would be far too advanced for me. I was about to make the turn to stay safe when something got in my way… I do not remember if it was another skier or a critter. The slight delay in turning forced my hand, and I was on the double-black run. I was feeling exhilarated! I was doing great… until I realized how fast I was going, and I tried to slow down… but the slope had gotten too steep, and nothing that I remembered from my childhood or from my two hours of lessons that morning taught me anything about stopping on a 70° downward slope of pure powder. My legs did everything they could to stay under me, and I made every turn possible to slow my descent, but it was to no avail… pretty soon I was on my ass (wholly predictable), and it took me another 60-100 metres to stop. I collected my skis (which took longer than you might expect, considering all of the factors), and walked down to safer ground. A ski patrol who had seen what had happened came by and clipped my lift ticket. I was done for the day.

    The trauma from that day stuck with me. I spent the next day (a gorgeous sunny ‘champagne powder’ day) sitting at a bar called The Tap House in town. The following day I did something else. My three-day ski trip turned into a one-day ski trip, with two more days of drinking, eating chicken wings, playing trivia at the bar, and sitting in the outdoor hot tub at the Steamboat Grand.

    The following year, I went on a ski trip to Montana, and I stuck to the green slopes. A year or two later, I went to Park City, Utah… once again, skiing the easiest slopes, except for when I was with a guide… who knew that I was not an experienced skier. The guides knew this from what I told them, not from watching me ski. They all tried to encourage me to try again, but I never got past that slippery slope at Steamboat Springs.

    If only I had not excused my instructor that first day. If only I had the courage to say, ‘I still need help!’ If only I had not thought to myself that I could do it myself and did not need anyone’s help. I wonder how much more enjoyment I would have gotten out of those trips had I just admitted that I needed help.

    That slippery slope can kill you and thank G-d you did not go off a cliff.

    Had I asked for help I likely would not have been on the slippery slope… and had I done so, the help would have guided me to safety.

    I did not need any help on the green and blue trails, and had I stuck to those, everything would have been fine. If my friend lived alone, never needing to expose herself to other peoples’ foods, she would be just fine. There is no shame in asking for help… and if the person that you ask knows what you are going through then they will never judge you for what you perceive to be your weaknesses. They will understand.

    People who do not make mistakes, do not slip, do not falter… they do not need support. The rest of us can truly use the support of others, and we are foolish to eschew it and try to go it alone. Weight loss is a very difficult uphill climb, and as with mountain climbing it is so easy to make one misstep… and fall off the cliff. The difference between recovering and failing is the support that we have. Refusing to reach out to them for fear of judgement is no different from making that last mistake that sees you falling to the bottom.

    Whoever you reach out to for support will be thrilled to celebrate your successes and victories with you… but they will also be there when you falter to remind you that you are not alone. They will give you tips and tricks on how to do better… and they will help you to remember that any weight loss journey will be replete with successes and failures, and that you are human and will make mistakes. Can you minimize those mistakes? Sure. Can you avoid them completely? Probably not. Along the road to being slim a few nacho chips with salsa will fall in your path. Get by them and continue on your journey.

    My plan for today is to stay on track. The fact that I achieved a milestone this morning does not mean that I get to rest on my laurels. I am now 19.5 lbs. from reaching my best post-Army weight… I am 4.6 lbs. from going to my tailor’s appointment under 275 lbs., and I am 9.6 lbs. from flying to Dallas under 270 lbs. These are all short-term goals that I have set for myself, and while they are on the far end of realistic, a single misstep would likely put them out of reach. I will not sabotage myself by falling down now. After my second shake of the day, I am going to drive into Hamilton to see Lyle and Dorothy for a couple of hours. I asked Lyle what I could bring, and he reminded me that I have had a bag of Montreal bagels in my freezer for them for the last several months. I will be glad to be rid of them at long last, and they are currently sitting in my travel cooler by the front door. I might stop in at Bulk Barn near them because there is a snack that Leslie asked for that was not available in the Bulk Barn near me. Unlike so many other snacks that I might pick up for her, these are just too decadent to tempt me seriously. Yes, I would love them… but unlike Goldfish crackers or Pop Chips, I cannot look at a chocolate-covered pretzel covered in M&Ms and make any justification that would sound plausible. ‘Hey, Goldfish crackers, eaten in moderation, are a reasonable snack!’ Maybe so… but who am I trying to kid that if I open the bag today that there will be any left by bedtime tomorrow? No, the pretzels for Leslie and her son will be safe… and by going into Bulk Barn on a day when not only did I hit a milestone, but also on a day when I spent so much time supporting (and then writing about supporting) others through missteps will not hold the same temptation as it might if it were just any other day. Stay the course. Stay on track. When I wake up tomorrow morning, I might weigh 280 lbs… or I might weigh 279.2 lbs. If it is the former, it will not be because I cheated today. If it is the latter, it will definitely be because I did not cheat today.

    (Holy crap! I do not know if I have ever written over 3,000 words for a single journal entry. If you read all of it then power to you!)

    Have a great day folks!

  • Know Where To Stick Your Comments

    **This is another article that I wrote during a previous weight loss attempt. It is funny how little editing I needed to do in order to make it apply perfectly to this week, nearly three years later. –MDG

    Has anyone else had it up to here (gesturing just above my head) with people telling you what to do with regard to your weight loss? Is there someone in your life who thinks they know better than you? I suspect we all try to be polite to them, but sometimes it can be too much.

    There was one person that I met recently who fed into my stress. As I said, I have very little patience for people who try to tell me what I should be doing to lose weight… no matter what their intentions are. Yes, they mean well… but do me a favour and keep your opinions to yourself.

    “Mitch, you know that the extra weight you are carrying around is not healthy, right? If you were to do X, you would continue to lose even more weight. You will be so much happier when you do!”

    I usually do not respond when someone opens their mouth like this, but I suppose was having a bad day, and this was just too far. ‘Hey, Fred (not his real name) … thanks for your concern. One of us has lost about 115lbs in the last year, and the other one of us should shut up and save his advice for when I ask for it. Would you care to guess which one of us is which?’

    Yeah, ‘Fred’ was more than a little surprised that I would say that… but really, at this point I think I’ve done pretty well, and that the method I am using is pretty good, wouldn’t you say? If I did not want your advice when I was at my heaviest, what makes you think I would want it now? If you want to offer support, offer words of encouragement. Things that friends have said over the past few weeks:

    • Oh my G-d, Mitch… I cannot believe how well you are doing! Keep it up!
    • Mitch, you look amazing! Keep up the good work!
    • Wow… you are a shadow of your former self!
    • You are a true inspiration to me!
    • Mitch, you look hot!

    All of these are perfectly acceptable (and welcome!) comments. Keep them coming folks!

    The following, on the other hand, are neither helpful nor welcome, and if it is what you were thinking of saying, then just say nothing:

    • You are doing well, but you still have a lot of weight to lose.
    • Mitch, how much more weight do you think you need to lose?
    • If you’d like, I know a doctor with an amazing weight-loss plan that would help you lose the weight even faster!
    • You’ve lost so much weight and still wear a Size 38 pants?
    • You should do X to lose more weight.
    • The program you are following is not healthy, so be careful.
    • If you do not change your habits, you are just going to gain the weight back again.

    Do you see that most of these comments sound like they are meant to encourage me? Some of them are from people who want to help, who think they are helping. Do you know what they all have in common? They are all unsolicited. I can almost guarantee at this point that I know more about weight-loss, but certainly about my own body and weight loss, than you do. I have also spent more time morbidly obese than you have. Please, keep it to yourself.

    I welcome, I love hearing, I love getting words of encouragement. Positive reinforcement is wonderful, and when people tell me how great I look it makes me well with joy. I have figured out what works for me, and that is why I look the way I look now, rather than what I looked like a year (or even three months) ago. Let me keep at it… I assure you I have no desire to ever gain another ounce again. But I have figured out a way to do it without your help, and I am my own harshest critic.

    When I was married to my second wife, I went on a weight-loss program. I asked Theresa (my now ex-wife) to be my Diet Sergeant. For a couple of months, she was… and with her help I did pretty well… until I did not. When I tried to get back on track, I asked her to resume her duties. She told me that it was unfair of me to put that responsibility on her… when no matter how strict she was, I could always circumvent her ‘authority.’ She was right… My diet is just that… mine. The responsibility is mine, and the success or failure of it is mine.

    I am my own harshest critic… in all things, not just the diet program. I beat myself up over it all the time, and nothing that you say will be harsher than what I say to myself. The difference is that I have the right… you do not. My mother used to say that if you have nothing good to say, say nothing. She was the worst offender of this advice that I have encountered in my fifty years on the planet. That does not make it bad advice, it just makes her a hypocrite. If you want to encourage me, say something nice… and completely nice. Be prepared with a follow-up should I be self-deprecating. I’ll give you an example:

    (You) Wow, Mitch… you look like you have lost a ton of weight!

    (Me) Thanks, but it’s just a drop, and I have so much more to go.

    (You) Well you are doing great… whatever it is you are doing, keep it up!

    Do you see how easy that was? On the other hand, the following would be a terrible way to follow up:

    (You) Wow, Mitch… I can’t believe how much slimmer you are than the last time I saw you!

    (Me) Thanks, but I hope the next time you see me I will be even slimmer still.

    (You) Make sure you have the occasional cheat meal, so you do not give up completely. Want to join us for pizza?

    I cheat enough, and I do not need your encouragement or permission. If I tell you I want to lose more weight, just follow up with ‘Well, you are doing great!’ or ‘Whatever you have been doing, keep doing it!’ That’s all I want. That’s all I need. If you cannot say something 100% positive, then don’t say anything.

  • Day 291

    While I did take small bits of snacks at Ryan’s place yesterday, it was not nearly on the same level as last weekend. I did, however, forget my meal replacement bars – or at least, I thought I did – which meant that I accepted the proffered dinner of a steak sandwich, which I shared with Princess Sophie. It turns out that the meal replacements were in the car, and I could have avoided all of it had I realized that. Sigh.

    My weight this morning is .2lbs up from yesterday, which is really within the margin of error. I am going to the doctor’s office tomorrow and am praying that I am at least 1kg down from two weeks ago, but if I cheat today, that is unlikely. We all know what that means of course… I cannot cheat today! I forgot that I finished the last of my chicken yesterday, which means that I have to go to the supermarket to pick some up today. While I am there, I also need onions and tomatoes. Lord knows, I have enough carrots and celery to sink a ship… owing to my miscalculation regarding the requirements for my chicken soup.

    Speaking of which, I did what I could to remove the schmaltz from the chicken soup, which is now in a jar in my fridge. All seven containers of chicken soup are now in the freezer, and I am somewhat reminded of my mother’s kitchen. Miriam z”l did not have a lot of fine qualities, but she did make fabulous chicken soup. Seldom could you open one of our freezers without finding frozen containers of chicken soup. I can assure you that her soup was much better than mine… and likely any other that I have ever tasted. Of course, those freezers (yes, there was always a second freezer in the house) were replete with everything you can imagine; the Tetris game that I play with my cigars in the humidors is amateur hour compared to how she would pack a freezer. Of course, anyone who disturbed her methods would feel her wrath, but then I did not ever have to work hard to feel that.

    I was speaking with Leslie about how much we miss one another last night. It really is hard to live separately. We are really looking forward to seeing each other in twelve days time, but we both truly long for the day when we can live together forever. Our generation was instilled with the mantra of ‘Good things come to those who wait.’ This is a concept chiefly foreign to the younger generation, who have been raised with the concept of immediate rewards. I know we both have to wait, and eventually the State Department will issue my visa… but the time predicted for that to happen seems so long to us both. At least we have the means and the ability to visit so that we can spend time together every month… but we both feel that each time we part it is harder and harder on us. I pray for a quick response and a positive outcome!

    My plan for the day: I have to go to the supermarket to pick up some chicken and veggies for lunch (for today and the next few days). After that, I am going to Georgetown to a herf with some of the boys up there. I have to be prepared to hear a lot of racist jokes and far-right opinions. I have not yet decided if I am going to keep my opinions to myself or not; this might be a good opportunity for me to practice my reasonable voice. We’ll see… sometimes it is just less stressful to hold my tongue. If there is food at the herf, I will abstain. That is one of the reasons my lunch is so important! I thought about defrosting a steak, but after having the steak sandwich yesterday, I think that would be ill-advised. My gout has not been bothering me since I started taking the preventative meds daily, but why tempt fate, right?

    Have a great day folks!