Losing a part of me

Yesterday was not a good day for my weight loss journey. There is a measurement on my new fitness watch called ‘Body Battery.’ It is metric that measures your current energy level based on several other readings, including your heart rate variability (another new one on this device), stress, activity, sleep, diet, and hydration. The body battery is a score between 0 and 100, and for most of the last couple of weeks, it would be as high as 88 and as low as the mid-40s, usually after a long jog. The highest number recorded yesterday was 26, which was before I set out on my jog. By 12:30, when I came in from my run, it was below 20, and would drop to a 6 by the time I mercifully fell into bed. When I woke up shortly after 7:15am this morning, it was a much more tenable 76. It is no wonder, as it is the first night in a week that the watch recorded my sleep as good, with over 8 hours asleep. My sleep score last night was 88 (Good), compared to the previous night’s 42 (Poor), and 62 (Fair), 44 (Poor), 79 (Fair) the previous nights. My last good night was Monday.

After recording my webinar (which went much better than anticipated), I set out on my jog. I was less than a kilometre into it when I realized that the Body Battery reading was not a joke. I was a zombie out there and pulled up at the 2km mark – something I have not done in well over a month. I walked another 4km but decided to stop at the supermarket to pick up a chicken to roast and vegetables for a salad. I also cheated with a bag of mini crisps, which I knew was a bad idea. I was not making good decisions. I am also pretty sure that anyone who looked at me yesterday would have seen that I was dead on my feet. After eating my chicken and salad for lunch, I sat on the balcony with a cigar chatting with my wife. I did not get through the whole cigar because I needed to go inside for a nap. I would never have made it through my class had I not slept for an hour first.

The result on the bathroom scale as of this morning unsurprisingly showed a gain of 3.6 lbs. from yesterday. I ate a big lunch, a big dinner, and the entire bag of mini crisps. I did it because I would not have gotten through the day without them… but I knew I would pay the price today. The small comfort is that I stepped onto the scale twice – the first time immediately when I got out of bed, and the second when I usually do – after my regular morning bathroom rituals, which mercifully included a very productive bowel movement. The difference between the two weigh-ins was nearly two pounds. I was neither happy with nor surprised by the 3.6 lbs. gain… had it been 5.6 lbs. I would have been much less pleased and much more surprised. I will do better today, both with regard to food intake (which will be back to zero, save for my meal replacements), and with my exercise (I will try to jog at least 5km today, and hopefully more). It will take a couple of days to recover the ground that I lost, but 2-3 days of discipline should get that done.

Despite my poor performance on the road yesterday, I still managed to sneak into the top 17.5% of the 2023 Challenge, also breaking the top 25,000. Considering there are now 143,000 participants registered, I think that is pretty impressive. I have no delusions that I am going to be in the top 5% by the end of the year, but I do not have to be. How the current leaders have recorded 4,500 km walking and running this year is beyond me, and I will never be in that kind of shape again. I don’t even know if I was in that kind of shape when I was in the Army. I know that the person who is ranked 500^th has recorded 1,253km so far, just under 12km per day if he walked or jogged every day since January 1. In a side-by-side comparison, I have averaged just over 3km per day in that time. I know that with the exception of a few days, in January and February I was only walking my dog, and although I did start running on February 11, there were still only six days in February when I recorded runs, and only on five of those days did I exceed 6km combined walking and jogging. Compare that to March, a month in which I recorded 20 days over 6km. We are halfway through April, and I have thus far only recorded six days over 6km, but that includes the week when I was in Dallas with a torn-up foot and a work schedule that was not conducive to getting out. The next two weeks that end with my getting married to Leslie on Day 15 (for those of you who are not regular readers, we were married last year in a civil ceremony, but on April 30 we are having a religious service) should allow me to match March’s 20 days. All this to say is that it is unlikely that I will crack the top 1000 on the 2023 Challenge, but if I keep up my current pace, it is not unheard of that I might crack the top 10%. Of course, I love tracking these things, but I am not in competition with anyone but myself. I do not have to beat the Gerald Sinclair who has averaged 12km per day since January 1… I have to beat the Mitch Garvis whose average for January was 1.4km per day, and whose average for February was only slightly better at 2.15km per day, and whose average for March shot up to nearly 6km per day. I have to remember that walking the dog does not count as exercise, even though the steps technically register. I need to be the best me that I can be.

With my increased body battery (currently at a comfortable 72), I will go for a jog around 11:30am, and then will drive out to Cambridge to spend the afternoon with Ryan et al. I have a few things I need to bring to him, and it will be good to see him anyways. He has been going through some crap at work, and I want to be there for him as a friend. He asked me yesterday when we discussed it if I would join them for dinner (he is making kebabs and salad) and I told him yesterday that I would let him know. This morning I told him that I would come out for cigars, but I would absolutely not be eating with them. Yesterday was a cheat day, and I am not sorry that I did that (although I wish I had not eaten quite as much as I did), but I will not be doing it two days in a row. Tomorrow morning, I will step onto the bathroom scale and my weight will be down from today, even though it will still be up from yesterday. One day off track is understandable, especially with how I was feeling. Two days would be unacceptable, except under very specific circumstances. I am feeling good today, and those circumstances are not present. That means I am staying on track!

Charlie (Princess Sophie’s friend) just went home, so I will be able to get out for my jog a little earlier than anticipated. I will stay on track today, and hopefully my jog will be a lot more successful than yesterday’s (of which I am not even recording my stats). When I get home, I will shower, then make sure to have a meal replacement before heading out. I will also pack one to take with me, knowing that I will likely be out past when I would normally eat my third one. Leslie is currently on a plane bound for Central America, and I am worried about her. I know that when she lands, she will let me know that she is safe, but I do not like that I cannot be there with her. I suppose this is what I will be focusing on while I jog. I might take a break from my audio books and catch up on some of my favourite podcasts. It has been a couple of weeks since I did that, which means there will be more than enough for me to get through a 90-minute jog (optimism springs eternal) and then my car ride to Cambridge.

My plans for today are to get back on track, to be mindful and focused, and to shed the day-over-day weight gain from yesterday to be back into best weight ever territory by Monday or Tuesday. Again, optimism. In lieu of eating, I will enjoy a couple of really nice cigars, and I will enjoy the company of a couple of friends. Tomorrow I am likely heading to Hamilton to spend the afternoon with Lyle and Dorothy but let me take one day at a time.

Have a great day folks!