Losing a part of me

Category: Driving

  • Day 682

    As I expected, my weight was down slightly again this morning. Yesterday’s increase was just a blip. I am now precisely ten pounds up from my best weight ever and will work toward getting back there.

    I am going out east to have lunch with a friend today. It is a long drive, but I’m looking forward to the distraction. A lot of my friends would want to talk about what is bothering me these days. At least I can be sure that this lunch will be a mindless distraction. That is what I need.

    I suppose my plan for today is to just try to stay the course. I will get into my car and turn on my audio book, and just listen to the story. Who knows? I might even bring a cigar along for the drive. It’s definitely a long enough drive (each way) so I might just do that.

    I’ll see you tomorrow morning.

  • Day 292

    I am back from the doctor’s office, where I was pleased to be down 1kg. Oddly, the same scale that converts from kilos to pounds had me down much more in the imperial system… oh well.

    My doctor is extremely pleased with my weight loss progress over the last 10 months and told me as much. He is also impressed by my blood pressure (97/67). I am at no risk of hypertension. He said that the last time we did a blood screen I was okay, so there is no need to do that again ahead of schedule… sometime early next year I would think.

    Something else the doctor discussed with me is a new medication that is a once per week injection that suppresses the appetite and helps with weight loss. He asked if I have medical benefits and I told him I do not. Aside from it being quite pricey, he agrees that I do not currently need it, and that when my progress abated then we can discuss it again. Maybe when I move to the US I could get it… but I am hoping that by then, I will no longer be obese.

    I cheated yesterday. I am embarrassed to say that I gorged on crackers, but I did. I have to do better today!

    Eduardo is feeling better, and will come over later in the afternoon for a cigar and a chat. I was worried about him, and am glad that he is better.

    I really miss my wife. I am counting the days until she comes to see me, which is now eleven days away. Will I meet my goal of weighing under 300 lbs. by then? The potential is there… as long as I do not continue to cheat on a regular basis! I want to put on a suit and take her out on the town all dolled up. That is my current goal!

    After the doctor, I had my winter tyres put onto my car, as well as an oil change. While oil changes will never go away, this should be my last season of winter tyres… unless the US State Department drags their feet. I am crossing my fingers that does not happen, and that a year from now I am living with Leslie. I miss her too much for this to drag on!

    The weather has not quite turned, but under the sunny skies, it is a much cooler day today than it was Saturday. Even yesterday was warmer, but the wind negated that. I can definitely feel the winter coming. In Canada, that means warm weather clothes, turning the heat on (at home and in the car), and switching out trainers for winter boots. Ahh, the joys of Canadian winters are plentiful…

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 180

    For the second time since starting my weight loss journey, I was away for nearly a week, which means that I did not weigh myself during that time. I find that my daily weigh-ins are one of the best tools I have for keeping myself (mostly) on track. Because of that, I am always worried that I am going to come back from vacation and be disappointed by the numbers on the scale.

    For the second time since starting my weight loss journey, I came back from my trip and was happy with the numbers on the scale. Despite this ranking among the worst trips of my life, I have actually lost four pounds since leaving home. This, despite the stress and anxiety of my passport debacle; despite the absolute and complete mess that I have made of my life, completely of my own doing. Despite shawarma plates and pistachio ice cream, fast food hamburger and fried chicken and eating on the road and everything else, I have lost four pounds in the last six days.

    Yesterday I wrote that my life was falling apart. I have nobody to blame but myself. I will not go into any details, but I cannot remember ever feeling so low.

    I dropped Leslie and her son off at the airport in Long Island yesterday afternoon as planned. Originally, the plan was for me to stay one more night in Long Island, but I had no interest in doing that. As I sat in the Departures Lane of the airport in Islip, I tried to tell my GPS to plot a route for Home. As if my smart phone understood my existential trauma, it was reflected in the response ‘Error: Unable to find a route.’ I tried several times, but it was not having it. It was as if even my phone did not know where home was. In the end, I just plotted a course for Niagara Falls, New York. Somewhere along the way I would try again and get a more accurate reading. Anyways, I was only planning to get past Manhattan, and would stop for a few hours when I was tired – either in the Catskills or beyond. I am past the age where I will drive all night fighting fatigue and freebasing coffee to get to my destination in better time.

    Driving from Long Island to Ontario requires you to drive through Manhattan. This is never fun, but it is probably better on a Sunday afternoon than a weekday. It took nearly two hours to get over the George Washington Bridge, and I drove another hour until I stopped for gas in a little community in the Catskills. I do not know where I was, but there were several Hassidim there, both at the gas station and walking on the street. I filled my tank, I used the washroom, and I got the leftover chicken strips from lunch that were in the back seat. I hit the road, and only after I was on the highway, I realized that I had not bought a cup of coffee. Okay, I would either make another coffee stop, or I would just stop and sleep for a few hours.

    I do not know how I made it from there to the Peace Bridge without coffee and without stopping. As I waited in line, I filled out my ArriveCan form on my phone, and was through the border in about 20 minutes or so. I pulled into my parking lot at 2:00am.

    I do not know how I managed to get any sleep, but I did. Not only that, I do not remember waking up in the middle of the night to pee… which meant that when I did finally get up to do so, I was unable to get back to sleep. Too much going on in my mind. If I am so much lighter, how come my head and heart feel so heavy?

    Anyhow, I am back on track today… I had a meal replacement shake for breakfast, and sometime in the next few hours I will go to my neighbour’s to pick up Her Royal Floofness.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 178

    My passport finally arrived at 1:10pm yesterday, and after stopping for gas I was on the road by 1:18pm. As expected, I had problems at the border, but they did let me in. Yay.

    I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, then a bagel while sitting and waiting with Stephane. I did buy some peanuts (less than a dollar’s worth). I honestly do not remember eating lunch!

    Shortly after six p.m. I stopped along the road to get a sandwich from Subway. I would usually have made a different choice, but Leslie told me that is what she and her son were eating, and I wanted to eat with them. I had a chicken sandwich with onion teriyaki sauce. If I was not trying to keep moving, I would have ordered a salad… but I needed to move! As it is, I only pulled into the hotel at 10:30pm.

    Yes, I did buy a bag of Smartfoods white cheddar popcorn, but I only ate a little bit, then left the rest for Leslie and her so .

    Yes, I cheated yesterday… but not badly at all!

    This morning I had a bagel with peanut butter which was delicious! We went to a movie, and I did buy popcorn… but without butter. For lunch, we went to Wendy’s. I had a spicy classic chicken sandwich and a bowl of chili. While I could have done better, I could have done much worse too!

    We spent over an hour in the swimming pool, and that was a lot of fun. This evening we are going to the wedding, and I will just be conscious of what I eat so as to not do badly.

    Have a great evening folks!

  • Day 173

    I am not surprised that I gained four pounds over the weekend, and nearly six pounds since the day of my birthday. It could have been worse. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that in my sadness yesterday evening I had two large bowls of cereal right before bed. Yes, I had a great time at the concert with Lyle and Dorothy and Tamara, but I miss Leslie when she is not there, and so rather than having something reasonable to quench my hunger, I sat down at the table at midnight and chowed down. Today will be better, and tomorrow’s numbers on the scale will be as well.

    Of course, tomorrow morning I am driving to Montreal, which means I will have to be extra vigilant with sticking to my diet, or at least to eating reasonably healthy. At Leslie’s I was able to control what I ate because Leslie and I did the shopping, and she does a good job of helping me to stay honest and on track. While we are meeting up Friday in Long Island, I will be on my own at my friends’ house tomorrow through Friday, and there will be a lot of long-distance driving to boot. There is only one person who can keep me on track, and I shave his face in the mirror every morning.

    I have a neighbour who will be looking after Princess Sophie for the week. She is so wonderful, and I will miss her. Leslie told me that her son really wants to meet her, but first things first. He will meet me on Friday, and next month he will meet Her Royal Floofness.

    I have had a headache for the past hour, so I am going to finish up a couple of things and then try to relax with a cigar, and hopefully talk with my wife.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 166

    The day started earlier than needed when a Princess Sophie decided she wanted to go out earlier than usual. Okay, 7am is not really a stretch, so Leslie and I took her for a walk. When we came back, I resumed my normal morning routine. The bathroom scale showed a great number… 2.4lbs down! I’ll take that any day of the week!

    Because of jet lag, a late night, and an early morning we took a mid-morning nap. Afterwards, we took our showers, and I made us lunch. Oh, and I trimmed my beard down and shocked my wife (and not in a very positive way). I’ll remember to not do that without consulting her in the future!

    Leslie asked me for a tuna sandwich for lunch. She says I make the best tuna sandwich she has ever tasted, and I love giving her what she wants. Last night we bought a challah roll for that purpose, and she loved it. I had leftover chicken… and the last inch of her sandwich 🙂

    We spent the afternoon in Niagara. We bought fresh strawberries and cherries from the farmers, and that is really the best way to get them. We snacked on some of them in the car, and they were scrumptious! We also stopped at a couple of lookout spots to look out at nature. It really is gorgeous down there.

    We stopped at a place that has a giant moose sculpture for a bit, and bought some goodies: we bought maple syrup for her to take home to friends, we bought a t-shirt for her son, and we adopted a bunny moose who has tremendous emotional significance for us both, for reasons I will not go into here. He still doesn’t have a name, but I suspect Leslie will love that buddy forever!

    For dinner we had pickerel with dill which was delicious, and a salad of course. We are about to sit down for desert… berries and cherries!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 108

    Yesterday was a long and tired day. As I mentioned, I drove overnight from Burlington to Ottawa. I finished my presentation at 10:00pm, packed, and got into the car. I actually enjoy driving at night, and split the time between talking with my girlfriend and listening to an audio book… and smoking cigars of course. I pulled over at 2:30am to close my eyes for an hour and a half, and finally arrived at my office at 5:00am, where I slept another couple of hours before my friend showed up. I was under no delusion that at my age and size that sleeping in the car would be overly comfortable, but it was not too bad.

    Yesterday’s breakfast was an omelet with cheese and onions, and lunch was a hamburger – no bun. Dinner was a mixed shawarma plate with salad but no rice or potatoes or bread. I actually did pretty well getting through the day! Really, the only cheating I did was the number of peanuts I snacked on. I will work on that today, but today won’t be a difficult day… I will not be spending a lot of time in the car. Yes, I will be eating a couple of meals, but I can be smart about them.

    It felt really good when my buddy looked at me yesterday and said ‘Wow, you’ve lost weight!’ I look at myself every day and do not see the progress in leaps, only in minor increments. When friends who have not seen my in several weeks see huge improvement, and point it out, it makes me feel wonderful. Yay non-scale victory!

    It’s a beautiful day in Montreal, and I am going to take it easy… after seeing my dad’s widow for lunch, I will just spend the day with friends. Have a great day folks!