Losing a part of me

Category: Facebook

  • Day 1282

    I was not at all impressed this morning to see that my weight was up more than a pound from yesterday. I have to assume that was mostly related to the extremely salted peanuts I had eaten the previous day, but also the (unsalted) peanuts I ate yesterday. Other factors would include not moving my bowels (which I did quite successfully some time after weighing myself)… and the fact that weight loss is about the downward trend and not individual plots on a graph. Yes, I ate a handful of peanuts yesterday… a conservative estimate of my total intake yesterday would be 1050 calories which is by no measure excessive, and there was no significant sodium or carbohydrates or starch added to my usual four-per-day meal replacements. There is only one measure by which yesterday was a dietary failure, which is only the strict interpretation of the strict rules of the medically supervised program that I am on. I am not going to feel guilty about that.

    By the by… a clear indicator that my weight issues are likely related to the previous day’s salted peanuts is that my ring, of which I wrote just three days ago, is much tighter than it was. Fingers swell from water retention which is caused by sodium. I expect it to once again fit much better tomorrow or the next day than it does this morning.

    What I do feel guilty about is that I gave serious thought yesterday to switching to a partial program – two or three meal replacements plus an actual meal. I did not do anything about it, but I gave it thought. Why should I feel guilty? Maybe guilt is the wrong word, but I know it is, for the moment, a bad idea. I set out on this renewed journey only two weeks ago (today is essentially Day 16) and I have done very well so far… I have lost 22.4 lbs. so far, which is great… until we factor in that from my best weight ever (October, 2023) until my worst day ever (Day 1 of this new effort) I had regained 106 lbs., at which point we have to recognize that I have only scratched the surface of what I want to – what I need to do. I am still 83.6 lbs. heavier than I was when I was at my best, and that will not just melt away in a heartbeat. It will take much longer if I start compromising now on what is working. Yes, I see images of food and I am tempted. I should by no means give in to that temptation, and there is currently no justification for my doing so. All of the times since the beginning of the year that I have tried to start on a modified program were failures. Why? Because I negotiated with myself. ‘This works… but if I just put in some of the effort instead of all of the effort, then it should still work.’ No. I am not saying never, but for the time being I have no intention of compromising.

    My sleep score this morning was the best that it has been since January 2 of this year. I suspect that it has been over 90 only a handful of times in all of the years that my fitness watch has been tracking it. When I saw the tremendous score of 93 this morning I was relieved, knowing that a good night sleep is crucial for health in general, but it also helps weight loss in particular. My body battery was an unprecedented 97. Hoorah!

    I just did something that I should have done on Day 1. I went onto Facebook looking for the support group that I was a member of previously. In fact, I am still a member, but because I had not participated in quite some time it was not prioritized in my feed. I posted my first message there in a very long time. The group does not seem to be very active – beyond being a buy and sell group – but hopefully I will get some response, and some support.

    Today is a rainy Friday, and in a sense that is a good thing. I have been delinquent on a project that I need to work on, and I will put in a lot of work on it today. I am also going to try to get help with that other issue that I have been dealing with, which will involve a support session with Microsoft. I am not looking forward to that, but I am hoping that it can get resolved satisfactorily.

    I just got off the phone with my son the elder who is off to university next weekend. He wants to see me this weekend (which is great). He also respects the fact that I am back on my diet, and that because of that I would rather he come over for a drink than go out for a meal. I look forward to seeing him and having a nice chat.

    With that, I am going to try to get some work done. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 438

    My weight this morning was terrible. I know there are several factors involved, and I also know that I probably overdid it for a few weeks, so this blip (and it will be only a blip) is not going to bother me. I had little sleep, I had a reasonably unhealthy breakfast at the airport, I had a decent lunch, but between this and that, with the snacks I bought for the airplane (and which I had more of with a cigar later), and with the food I ate when I got home (in addition to a bowl of cereal, I also had several slices of dried fruit – and all of that very late at night), it is no wonder that the scale this morning was trying to scare me. Today I will be more mindful, and while I am not going back onto my full-fast, I will be more careful of what (and when) I eat. I am still taking a few days before going back onto my modified program, hoping that a couple of my issues do right themselves. I hope that by the time I get back to Canada they will all be a distant memory, and I can get back to losing weight.

    I did not jog yesterday, but I did decide to walk back to where I am staying from the cigar lounge. It was a 6.5 km walk which is absolutely nothing that would be a problem for me, but I was wearing sandals; even had I not slipped and stepped into a mud puddle reminiscent of the La Brea Tar Pits, I would still have had blisters. As it was, when I got back, I spent ten minutes spraying mud off the sandal… and my foot. I was planning to take a break from jogging for a couple of days, but I still wanted to reach my daily steps goal. I crushed it!

    Today I will not be jogging again, but I am going somewhere later in the day that will, once again, involve a lot of walking… and standing around. I will wear much more sensible shoes today and will take better care. The blisters on my feet are more a nuisance than they are a pain, but if I do not take care of them then I may be taking a longer break from jogging than originally planned.

    My goal is to return to Canada a week from today no more than ten pounds heavier than when I left. As long as I am mindful, I will be fine. If that sounds like a lot, you are right… but when you go from eating no carbs or starches to eating a lot of them, the weight can jump back quickly. Yesterday was a bad day for that, but the rest of the week I will be much more careful.

    Yesterday morning I posted on my Facebook wall before and after pictures, with the following message:

    I want to thank those of you who have offered words of support over my journey. Fourteen months ago I made the decision to stop being fat. I have been overweight since shortly after the Army, and I decided I did not want to be overweight anymore. To all of you with whom I was short when asked about it or offered advice, I am sorry… not sorry. Too many people have offered too many opinions and advice, and none of them are doctors or weight loss professionals.

    To those who want to know how much weight I have lost, the simple answer is that I have lost a healthy buxom supermodel… maybe a little more.

    To those who want to know how I did it, the simple answer is cigars and the flesh of those who thought their unsolicited advice was so necessary to foist on me.

    To those who have been supportive and offered words of encouragement, who have not tried to get me to eat or drink just this once, I thank you.

    To all of you, I love you all. While I have maintained a weight loss blog (that was always openly accessible, but never publicly discussed on open forums, this is the first time I am publicly discussing it and sharing my before and current photos. I say current and not after because I am not done… but it is time.

    I will never offer unsolicited advice, and I know what works for me might not be right for you. But if you want positive support and encouragement from someone who has been there, reach out.

    Picture 1 was taken on January 19, 2022. Picture 2 was taken on March 30, 2023.

    The response from friends and colleagues has been amazing. Now I have to stay like this… or keep getting better.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 399

    I was expecting this morning to fall slightly back in the comparative number from 2020 because back then, following my return from Las Vegas, I dropped 2.2 lbs. the following morning. An unexpected massive drop of the same number from yesterday kept me on pace, and while I know that will fall off somewhat tomorrow (I had two straight days of that same pace in 2020, followed by two days of terrible gains), it will level out Friday.

    After taking HRF Princess Sophie out for thirty seconds this morning (she hates snow and freezing rain), I prepared my shake and my coffee, and I sat down at my computer as I always do. I was midway through the first sentence of the first paragraph when I realized that I had a doctor’s appointment! I locked my computer, put the remainder of my morning shake into the fridge, and headed out the door. I honestly did not know what the shake would taste like when I got home, but it was not bad. It was not as good as it usually is freshly blended, but it was drinkable.

    On Monday I wrote that I was hoping to drop at much as 4 kg from two weeks ago. I dropped 3.4 kg, and am not disappointed by that… especially when I think back on the Great Nachos and Salsa Debacle.

    Both the doctor and nurse are extremely pleased by my progress. The doctor asked me what I have been doing, and I told him about how I adjusted my program. Remember that he had not seen me since January 18, and I have lost 8 kg in that five-week period. I told him that with the exception of my trip to Dallas, I have been on the full-fast program, and that even when I was in Dallas, I was able to maintain and even lose weight. He is extremely happy to see me doing so well. We discussed BMI, and I told him that mine was currently measured at 35.4, which means that another .5 drop will have me in Obesity Class I.

    We discussed several other issues, including the difficulties of the long-distance issue. I told him that things are looking rosy in every aspect of my life right now. I also told him about one conversation that Leslie and I had just yesterday, that will need much further discussion. More on that in a minute.

    I am not stupid. I told the doctor that I have started jogging, and that I have been out four times in the past ten days. I told him that so far, the jogging has not affected my knee at all, and that my issues when lying down are the same – no better, but certainly no worse. He told me that it was more important now to do the imaging for it, and I went downstairs after we were done to finally have that done.

    He asked me why I prefer to jog over a brisk walk. I told him with a grin that I am a soldier, to which he replied, ‘Yes… but you are an older soldier with a lot more weight than you once carried.’ I then told him my real reasons, which are a lot more practical. Ten minutes earlier, his nurse had measured my resting heart rate at 62 bpm, which is even higher than what my fitness watch usually measures it at. It has always been so… even my commanding officers joked that I was truly cold-blooded. The point is that it takes a lot to get my heart rate up. A brisk walk might get my heart rate up to 140 bpm (I took a moment to look back, and my average heart rate during an 8.5 km walk in September was 125 bpm). On Monday’s jog, I see that my heart rate was 164 by the end of the first kilometre, and steadily climbed to 180 throughout the rest of my jog. The higher the heart rate, the higher the metabolism, the more fat burned. That’s why I jog. He was convinced but told me that we are going to keep an eye on my knee, and if it starts to get worse then I am going to have to cut back. I agreed.

    The conversation that Leslie and I had that I told him about was what will maintenance look like? At what point will I say to myself and to my doctor that, ‘I do not need to lose any more weight, because I am happy with where I am.’ From there, Leslie asked me to start thinking about how she can best support me when I am there. For example, was this program something that I could go back onto if I gain weight again? Could I just decide at any time to do it for 6-8 weeks? I told her that yes, I could do it any time I needed, but that I hoped that I would never let myself go to a point where I would need to do it for that long. I do not know what my ideal weight will be, but I know that whatever size clothes I fit into at that point will be the size that I want to wear the rest of my life. I doubt then that gaining more than ten pounds would be comfortable. These are conversations that Leslie and I will continue to have, but the truth is that until I am there, I do not know where there will be… and so I cannot be sure how she will best be able to support me. The fact that she is asking though means the world to me.

    —

    I honestly do not understand why some people join Facebook support groups for weight loss, unless it is just to brag about how well they are doing, and to make themselves feel better when they talk down to others. The interaction:

    Original Post: Second time around and I can’t find myself to stick to it… clip_image002…I need encouragement or a support buddy.

    Response: How do you suppose an Internet support person can change your behavior? This is your journey, your call. If you can’t do it admit it and try later when you ready.

    My response: that is extremely short-sighted and just bad advice. I have supported several people through their journeys. They cannot change your behaviours, but they can be there for you to talk you through challenges, they can help get you back on track when you falter, and they can celebrate your successes. If you think weight loss is just about doing it alone then why bother with support groups at all? Why is it that so many clinics that use <The program> require regular meetings and support sessions? Do you really believe that THEY cannot change your behaviour, so they must be useless? Come on… 95% of this journey is psychological and knowing that you are not alone is a HUGE support.

    I then reached out in a private message to the original poster and wrote:

    I am begging you to ignore the TERRIBLE and completely counter-productive advice of <Response>. diet buddies and supporters are HUGELY important and beneficial, and it is not JUST about accountability. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ignore her and find someone that you can have regular check-ins with, as well as being able to call them when you are weak.

    There is a weight loss support group in Toronto that used to advertise on the radio, and they ended all of their commercials with the tag, ‘If you could do it alone, you’d have done it already.’ How true is that? Yes, there are people out there who are going to be able to lose as much weight as they want, and they are going to do it on their own. I have tried and failed many times, and I have spoken to so many people over the years who are in the same boat as I am. In 2020 I organized a number of support groups where we would have our weekly check-in meetings and discuss our successes and our failures. We would learn from each other, and we would lean on each other when we felt weak. We would celebrate and commiserate. One of the women I met in one of those groups is my diet buddy today, and she and I are helping each other once again. We both failed in 2020, but in 2022-3 we are succeeding, and we check in with each other on a weekly basis. We also call or text each other when we feel weak. There have been several times one or the other has texted and said ‘HELP! This is what I’m facing!’ The other would always talk them down from the desire to cheat.

    —

    The weather will be getting progressively worse over the next few days. Even during the drive home from the doctor’s office, it was snowing. The temperatures were a little below freezing. We are under a freezing rain warning, which is never pleasant. While I might go to the gym today, knowing what the driving could be like this afternoon I am going to take a wait and see approach to that.

    I do have a lot of work to do today, both studying and preparation. I am trying to build my virtual environment to be able to do every demo that I want for my classes, but also so that I can have every tool that I might need to prepare myself for my own certifications. It is not easy, but I am up to the challenge. One more thing that the doctor and I discussed today was the dosage of my medications. I told him that most days I am okay, but there are still days when I cannot focus at all. I told him that if it’s okay, I would like to give this dosage two more weeks, and then re-evaluate then. He thought that was a good idea, but told me that if we need to, he is not opposed to increasing my dosage. I will see how that is in two weeks… the day before I fly back to Dallas. I am truly so excited about that trip that it has the potential to be all-consuming… but I am trying to be calm!

    My plan for today for activity will depend on the weather, but for food it is simple… stay the course. There is no reason for me to fall off when I have been doing so well! It is amazing to think that I have lost over 17 lbs. since January 27, the second day of my last trip to Dallas, which is twenty-five days ago. I know that pace will not continue as I lose more weight, but it is still encouraging.

    Tomorrow is Day 400 of my weight loss journey, and I have lost an absolutely astonishing 30% of my body weight. Yes, I have lost 119 lbs. in that time, and I am just amazed by those numbers. If I lose another 30% of my body weight then I will weigh under 195 lbs., which is a weight that I simply do not remember… ever. I do not know what I weighed during the Army, but I remember clearly standing on a scale a year prior to my conscription (when I was living on the kibbutz) and weighing 100 kg… 220 lbs. I was a completely different person with a very different body back then, so whether I could get below that is possible but another unknown. I only have to lose another 20% of my current body weight to get back to that number, and I look forward to seeing what I look like then… and then evaluating if I want to lose any more. If I get there, that will account for about a total drop of 43% of my original weight… and I will not be unhappy with that!

    Stay on track, stay mindful. Whether or not I exercise, I will not cheat. If 220 lbs is my ultimate goal, then I am just over 55 lbs. from reaching it. In the meantime, looking at my short-term goals from just a couple of days ago, I am one pound from dropping below 275 lbs. before I see my tailor next Thursday, which means that unless I fall off the wagon into a vat of Buffalo wings, then I will achieve that goal easily. I am 3.4 lbs. from dropping to my lowest weight from 2017, which at an average of .4 lb. per day I will achieve by next Thursday as well. Lastly, I am 5.8 lbs. from dropping below 270 lbs. before I fly to Dallas in fifteen days… which means that if I lose an average of .4 lb. per day, I will do it. At the rate that I have been losing weight over the past few weeks, I know that I can do it all… as long as I stay on track and stay mindful.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 378

    (This was written Tuesday afternoon)

    My partial program might be extended by a couple of days. I received notification from American Airlines that my flight tomorrow has been canceled. They currently have me booked to fly out an hour later (with 2.5-hour layover in LaGuardia, instead of my direct flight), but that might change. Right now I am hoping to get home… if not on time, then at least on the right day. Staying one extra day means staying two extra days because I have teaching commitments on Thursday that I cannot change and I cannot miss. Sometime in the next hour or two I will receive a callback from American Airlines to discuss my options. Leslie is worried that if they book me for Wednesday, will I even be able to get to the airport. She knows the roads and city much better than I do, and if she says that the roads might not be drivable then I have to trust her. That will be part of my conversation with the ticketing agent. In the meantime, I do not have meal replacements for another day (let alone two), so if I do not get out Wednesday, then Thursday (and Friday) I will be switching them out for protein bars… and trying to eat healthy despite the situation (Leslie’s son comes home Wednesday, and the meal planning has been with him in mind). While it would be nice to have a couple of extra days with Leslie, I just have too many things that are working against that being a good idea… if at all possible.

    It is now Wednesday morning, and I am packed and waiting for my Uber to arrive. It should be here in 90 minutes, and aside from my laptop, I have packed everything. As it was on my trip down, I have a single suitcase with a single carry-on. My flight status is showing on time, and it begins boarding in 4h19m. As it is not an international flight, I do not need to arrive three hours early… but I want to get there with plenty of time to spare. The airport will likely be a madhouse because of all of the cancellations. I am as nervous as I have been for any flight in recent memory… with the exception of when I was not sure about coming back into the United States. Weather does not usually get me nervous… but I am used to being familiar with all of the parameters. It is snowing in Texas, and all bets are off.

    After yesterday’s tremendous weight drop, I was not expecting a good number this morning. I expected to see a correction, either staying where I was, or possibly even taking a half-pound back. I was mostly good yesterday, and I say mostly because I was not able to have my usual salad for lunch because the Salad and Go outlet was closed due to weather. Instead, lunch consisted of two Boca ‘chicken-but-really-vegan’ patties with Buffalo sauce and mozzarella cheese and a small salad. The chicken patties were actually very tasty, and I was very happy to see that the total calories for the two was 450, with 24g of carbohydrates. Yes, that includes the sauce and the cheese! The salad was lettuce, tomato, onion, with craisins and a couple of pickled veggies on it, with a little bit of Ranch dressing. I think, all in all, I did pretty well on that meal. I will try to remember it when I am off the full-fast program.

    I made the right decision in not having either patty as a sandwich, so there were no extra carbs. I was also pleasantly shocked when Leslie pointed out the sauce had no sugar added. Aside from the lunch, I also drank two sweet teas and a glass of iced tea, all of which was sweetened. Other than that, I had two protein bars – one in the late afternoon, the other in the early evening). Still, I was not sure what to expect from the bathroom scale this morning. Knowing that I was on the cusp of hitting a decade milestone, I asked Leslie last night if she would join me when I stepped onto the bathroom scale… just in case. I thought it unlikely that I would drop below 290 lbs., but I wanted her there to share it with me if I did. We walked to the bathroom with no expectations. I put my phone (with the scale-connected app open) on the counter behind me, and I stepped onto the scale. Her reaction was one of shock, and I thought I was going to turn around and see I had gained back the 2.6 lbs. that I lost yesterday. Far from it – I looked at the phone and saw the numbers 288.2 lbs. I wiped it clean and waited for the scale to reset and stepped onto it again. Sure enough, with the absolutely stable and reliable floors of her bathroom, the numbers showed a two-pound drop from yesterday. Holy crap!!

    Before I left Canada I decided that I would be back on my modified program and would have a couple of cheat meals with my wife. I had not seen her in a couple of months, and I wanted to be able to take her out on a couple of date nights, and to cook for her… and to eat with her. I made the decision then that a successful trip (with regard to my weight management) would be to gain no more than two pounds, and when I returned to Canada, I would resume the full-fast program and take them off. It never occurred to me that I would be returning to Canada 2.5 lbs. lighter than I left! Of course, that is not wholly accurate. As Leslie rightly pointed out, I tend to gain weight on travel days. Despite the fact that I have prepared by packing three protein bars in my carry-on bag, it is often just the travel that does it. Also, I know I am cutting it close with that – any delays or cancellations will mean having to make smart choices about what to buy to keep myself on track. I might gain weight from the travel day, but if I can step onto the bathroom scale tomorrow morning and weigh less than (or the same as) I weighed the day that I left then it will be a huge success. Of course, it is still a big if regarding getting home today. The flight from LaGuardia to Toronto should be routine with regard to the weather… there may be the usual delays out of New York City, but there is no weather predicted. As soon as my flight out of DFW takes off, I will breathe a sigh of relief. Until then, I know there is a chance I am staying here until Friday… without meal replacement shakes to keep me safe.

    I wrote yesterday about a post on a Facebook support group for my program, and my response to it. Later in the day, the following response was sent by someone else:

    The secret and science to losing weight and maintaining it after <the program> is your very first meal of the day must be protein only. Even after you eat this first protein meal of the day, your body will continue to dip into the “stored fat” for energy and lose weight. The 2nd meal must be either be protein or protein and veggies. Again your body will continue to dip into the “stored fat” for energy and you will not gain but lose weight. Your 3rd meal you can introduce some carbs but be smart about it. The very moment you swallow those carbs is the very moment your body stops using your “stored fat” for energy and uses the carbs for energy and the very moment your body will stop losing weight.

    So if you are off <the program> and your very first and second meal has carbs in it……you are doomed right there for losing weight and will gain. It is simple but extremely difficult I know. It sucks but it is how our bodies works.

    While this might or might not be good advice, I am always weary about anyone who gives advice with ‘the secret and science.’ If the secret to losing weight and staying slim could be summarized so neatly into four paragraphs, we would all do it and stay slim forever. I have written in this journal many times that what I have to do, what I must do, how I must be… but that is what I feel I must do. What is right for me might not be right for someone else. With that said, the idea looks interesting, and it is something I might look at further. I am reticent to believe that having vegetables with your protein in the morning would be detrimental to the ketosis, but I am neither a doctor nor a scientist. I will see if I can speak with one and ask about it. I can imagine that my breakfasts will consist mostly of eggs, and that the breakfast cereals we grew up knowing are healthy and good for you are really not… but not being able to add vegetables into an omelet sounds a bit extreme. Who knows? Maybe that is true, and what I need to do for the rest of my life actually is that extreme. We’ll see.

    The Uber is one hour away, and I am ready to brace myself and face the cold. No, it is not the sort of cold that I am used to, but I made the (now clearly incorrect) decision to leave my winter jacket and boots at home. It never occurred to me that I would be dealing with temperatures of -4° with falling snow. Couple that with the fact that we live in a gated community, so I will have to walk the 200m to meet the Uber outside the gate, and I’ll be a bit chilly. I will also have to contend with similar weather in Toronto, but it is what it is. I made the decision and now I will live with it. No good Canadian has ever died because of a few minutes of cold temperatures! Well, they have… but there are usually underlying conditions involved, or the temperatures are much colder, or they are exposed for much longer periods. No matter, our hero will not be thwarted! I will run from the shelter of Pearson International Airport to my Uber, and then from the Uber into the warmth of my apartment!

    All this to say that I remain optimistic that tomorrow I will be writing my daily article from the comfort of my workstation in Canada, with HRF Princess Sophie curled up until it is time for her to go play with Charlie. If I do not get home today, then I will see you back here (from Dallas) tomorrow… and Friday morning as well.

    Have a great day folks!

  • On my way…

    I wrote the following in a Facebook support group. The fact that I feel full is a huge step!

    “This is a good sign! I arrived at the airport this morning, 3.5 hours before my flight (in anticipation of US Immigration issues). I have been ready to take a break from my full-fast for the week that I am with my wife, but I expected that to start tonight. Unfortunately, in my excitement to see her after two months, I packed all of my meal replacements in my checked suitcase. Okay, off a few hours early. I had 20 Pringles (not an entire serving) and a bag of almonds (one serving)… and I am full. Yay! I do not feel the need to eat more (the temptation, yes… not the NEED) and I feel like I will make it from here to Dallas without needing anything more.”

  • Day 365 Facebook Group Post

    clip_image002On July 30, 2020, I posted this picture with the caption: “This IKEA bag is filled with clothes to go to charity tomorrow… none of it fits anymore!”

    I was so proud of myself. I weighed 279.2lbs, down from 394. I would, by two months later, lost another 19lbs… and then that was it. Something happened, and I started slipping. Eventually, by November 2021, I was back at that original starting weight… thinking that it was lucky that I had not donated that IKEA bag filled with clothes, because I would have had to buy an entire new wardrobe.

    365 days ago, I started on my own modified <meal replacements> program. I was not following it completely, but I was losing weight. It has been slow, it has been emotional, and it has had far too many plateaus that lasted far too long. Today I weigh 293lbs, and once again, none of the clothes in this picture fit. This time they have been donated. I did not wait for a giant mass; I have been getting rid of them immediately as they become too loose. I never want to wear them again.

    My weight loss blog has over 450 articles on it from this last year, and the offline document that compiles them all is over 320,000 words long. I have transposed my thoughts into the written word so that I can share my experience with others, but also so that when I do get to my ultimate goal and I do get complacent, I will always remember to put a stop to my backward slide before it can take root. All of those words might make for interesting reading, but it is all captured perfectly in images such as this: This is a bag of my fat clothes, and I never want to wear fat clothes again.

    For those of you who wonder if I am a failure for having lost and gained so much weight before – twice – I will say that I have slipped and I have fallen and I have given up, but I have never quit. I have never resigned myself to being fat forever. I have never said that I cannot do it. Like Thomas Edison who learned 2000 ways how not to make a light bulb, I have now learned two ways how to not achieve my final goal, and to maintain it. As with the Wizard of Menlo Park, I have learned from my failures and am at it again… using similar methods and materials, but a different way of implementing it.

    Friday is the beginning of my second year of weight loss, and with the recent (last week) shift from my modified program to the full and strict <meal replacement> plan for the next few months, I know that I can achieve the goal. With the support of my friends and those of you who have helped to support me and who I hope I have support and encourage as well, and with the grace of G-d, I hope that 2023 will be the last year that I ever have to lose weight again. It is my goal that within the year I will achieve my goal body, and that for the rest of my life – knowing how easy it is to get fat – I will mindfully work to maintain that goal body.

    Weight loss is simple… but it is far from easy. Anyone who reaches out to me for my support will have it. Ask, I am here. You are somebody, and you deserve to have the best body you can!