Losing a part of me

On July 30, 2020, I posted this picture with the caption: “This IKEA bag is filled with clothes to go to charity tomorrow… none of it fits anymore!”

I was so proud of myself. I weighed 279.2lbs, down from 394. I would, by two months later, lost another 19lbs… and then that was it. Something happened, and I started slipping. Eventually, by November 2021, I was back at that original starting weight… thinking that it was lucky that I had not donated that IKEA bag filled with clothes, because I would have had to buy an entire new wardrobe.

365 days ago, I started on my own modified <meal replacements> program. I was not following it completely, but I was losing weight. It has been slow, it has been emotional, and it has had far too many plateaus that lasted far too long. Today I weigh 293lbs, and once again, none of the clothes in this picture fit. This time they have been donated. I did not wait for a giant mass; I have been getting rid of them immediately as they become too loose. I never want to wear them again.

My weight loss blog has over 450 articles on it from this last year, and the offline document that compiles them all is over 320,000 words long. I have transposed my thoughts into the written word so that I can share my experience with others, but also so that when I do get to my ultimate goal and I do get complacent, I will always remember to put a stop to my backward slide before it can take root. All of those words might make for interesting reading, but it is all captured perfectly in images such as this: This is a bag of my fat clothes, and I never want to wear fat clothes again.

For those of you who wonder if I am a failure for having lost and gained so much weight before – twice – I will say that I have slipped and I have fallen and I have given up, but I have never quit. I have never resigned myself to being fat forever. I have never said that I cannot do it. Like Thomas Edison who learned 2000 ways how not to make a light bulb, I have now learned two ways how to not achieve my final goal, and to maintain it. As with the Wizard of Menlo Park, I have learned from my failures and am at it again… using similar methods and materials, but a different way of implementing it.

Friday is the beginning of my second year of weight loss, and with the recent (last week) shift from my modified program to the full and strict <meal replacement> plan for the next few months, I know that I can achieve the goal. With the support of my friends and those of you who have helped to support me and who I hope I have support and encourage as well, and with the grace of G-d, I hope that 2023 will be the last year that I ever have to lose weight again. It is my goal that within the year I will achieve my goal body, and that for the rest of my life – knowing how easy it is to get fat – I will mindfully work to maintain that goal body.

Weight loss is simple… but it is far from easy. Anyone who reaches out to me for my support will have it. Ask, I am here. You are somebody, and you deserve to have the best body you can!