Losing a part of me

Category: Nutrition

  • Day 377

    Responding to a Facebook post

    I find it amazing that I am finding myself the voice of reason and good advice for people trying to lose weight. How can someone who has failed so many times be that? It is because we learn from our failures, and experience is what you get right after you needed it… while wisdom is what comes after spending hours, days, or weeks analyzing those experiences.

    This morning before I even opened my Weight Loss Journal I checked Facebook, and I saw the following post from someone in one of my support groups.

    So last year I did <program> and Saxenda diet/lifestyle change. Then the opportunity came up to do a round of IVF. I had to stop the Saxenda which in turn fell off the shakes and back to all carb diet. (Sadly it didn’t work) From September 1st to yesterday (January 30) I gained 53 pounds. Back on everything 1 day and 7 pounds of water gone. And my foot is still swollen. The part that gets me and all doctors just ignore it, but from Dec 12 to Yesterday was 30 pounds. That works out to 10 pounds every 2 weeks. Is this normal for others? Am I the only one? And no I don’t eat a lot of food just the wrong kinds. I should add not the first time that has happened to me either. I just don’t get it.

    I gave it a little thought, realizing immediately her huge mistake… I then took my time to draft the following response. (Note that in both the original post and in my response I have redacted the name of the program, but I have left the name of her medication in)

    Hi Jessica. I cannot speak for anyone but myself, but I have learned from experience that the minute I reintroduce carbs into my diet, I will gain weight in a big hurry if it goes unchecked. I do not know how old you are, but if you are trying to get pregnant then you are younger that I am. When I was growing up, we were always taught that FAT IS BAD. Well guess what? The experts have changed their tune completely over the past few decades. The real enemies to weight loss are carbohydrates, starches, and sugars. That is why we <on this program> see such tremendous success on the program… initially. When you drop from 100-200g of carbs per meal to 75.2g per day, your body reacts by looking for other sources of energy… namely, our body fat. Our bodies LOVE carbs and starches… and that is a really easy source of energy for them when it is available. When you write that you switched back to an all-carb diet, your body was having a field day! I am visiting with my wife this week and have taken a break from the program. I am cooking most nights, but we also planned for a couple of meals out. The first night we had sushi, and I went nuts… and I paid for it the following morning by gaining 2lbs in one day. For our Friday evening out, we were going for Chinese food. What I would have liked to eat (I checked) had 2100 calories and 220g of carbs. What I DID eat was 950 calories and 47g of carbs. Had I eaten what I wanted to, I would have gained another 2-3lbs the next morning. Instead, I was down .6lbs. IN SHORT: Yes, it is perfectly normal and dare I say REALLY EASY to gain 5lbs per week on an all-carb diet. I HATE it… I hate the fact that I have lost over 100lbs 3 times and gained it all back twice (and each time in less than 15 months). If you read my blog, you will see what I go through… I write about my triumphs and failures every day, as well as all of the emotions that go with them.

    These are lessons that have taken a long time to learn, and I can only hope that I will not only remember them when times are good, but when I need to. I have to remember that my number one goal once I have lost the weight is mindfulness. If I can remember these (and the myriad other lessons that I have learned about losing weight and keeping it off) then I can live a happy and slim life… once I get there. No, I am not there yet.

    I did not eat properly yesterday, but it was one of those weird days when it went the other way. I had my meal replacement in the morning, a Thai salad with tofu from Salad and Go for lunch, and I made a scrumptious dinner of salmon (essentially the same recipe as Saturday, except I marinated the salmon all afternoon) and an air-fried cauliflower that I cut up, drizzled with oil, and seasoned with Tony Chachere’s Creole Seasoning. That’s all I ate. On a normal day, I would have had a protein bar in the afternoon, and possibly another one in the evening. When I say I did not eat properly, I mean I did not eat enough. Whether I am following the Canadian or the American program, I am supposed to be eating either four or five times per day. The theory is that when we eat smaller meals more frequently, our body continues to burn the calories throughout the day. I am not disappointed, but I will try to not do it again.

    Yesterday morning I dropped off a couple of packages at the post office, then I spent a couple of hours at my cigar lounge with a cigar and a cup of coffee. I wrote (or started to write) a technical article for my professional blog which I have been meaning to do for a few days. I left the lounge precisely on schedule. As per the plan, I picked up salads for Leslie and I for lunch. She asked me to pick up a couple of things at the grocery store, but when I went to check out, there was a 45-minute wait. I left my order on the side and walked right out. When I got home, Leslie told me that it would be crazy all day for a couple of days because of the weather. I told her that whatever chaos there might be, I would go back after we ate. I did just that and was relieved to find out that the reason the store was such a madhouse before was only partly due to the weather, but also due to a computer issue that had shut down most of the self-checkout kiosks. By the time I went back, the issue had been resolved. The store was still a madhouse, but the lines were more reasonable. I was out the door in under twenty minutes.

    I worked on my article in the afternoon as Leslie worked, and then I made our dinner. It was too cold to sit outside with a cigar, but we were still surprised that the schools, city services, and essentially all of Dallas was closing today! I was laughing then, but not now… the precipitation started around 8:30am, and while the weather report says it is snowing, from my perch across the room from the window it looks more like freezing rain. In Canada we would not think twice about it… but we are not only used to it, we are also prepared for it. There would be trucks salting the roads, and everyone has winter tyres. I had originally thought I might spend a couple of hours at the lounge today, but I think the farthest I will venture out is to pick up salads for our lunch.

    I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning to a real shock. I was disappointed yesterday morning when I gained 1.4 lbs. from the previous day. Today I was completely floored to see a 2.6 lbs. drop from yesterday. That not only puts me below my pre-trip weight, but it also puts me squarely into best-weight-yet territory. This was a complete and total shocker that had both Leslie and me slack-jawed but happy about it. To solidify that, I am teaching this evening so my plans for solid foods are to have a salad for lunch, but meal replacements for the rest of the day.

    Okay, my plans just got waylaid. Salad and Go is closed today (along with most of the city) due to the weather. Leslie and I will have chicken burgers for lunch, and I will make a salad to eat with it. That change is not going to affect my plans greatly – even if I put my burger between two slices of bread, that will be my only significant carbs for the day, and I can still lose weight tomorrow morning. It is very exciting to know that if I lose just .4 lb. more, I will have crossed into the next decade… this morning’s reading was 290.2 lbs.! I would be thrilled if I could celebrate that milestone with Leslie. Of course, I know that today’s massive drop means that there is a very good chance that no matter how good I am on the program today, I will be in for a rude correction tomorrow. My hopes then are that eating right today will balance out that correction, and I can stay the same. We will see what tomorrow brings… I just know that I have to be good every day, so that the downward trend continues. I have to remind myself every day and with every meal that being mindful is the key to my success. Being cognizant of what I choose to eat – and how much of it – is how I will continue to lose weight.

    The snow continues to fall, and all of Dallas is closed down. There will be no cigars today (although that was never really a certainty anyways) and it is unlikely that either of us will leave the house. In the evening I will teach, but before that I will sadly pack my suitcase. Unless the weather dictates otherwise, tomorrow morning Leslie will drive me to the airport and I will fly back to Canada. I hate leaving her. I hope we can at least have a nice evening together once my class is over.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 373

    I have to remember that the numbers on the scale might not just drop because I want them to… even after a day of being really good… mostly.

    I had my breakfast shake and coffee in the morning and then for lunch I picked up salads from Salad and Go (I had the Thai Salad with tofu and the peanut dressing, total 230 calories, but 20g of carbohydrates including 9g of sugar). Both prior to and following my class I had a protein bar (I differentiate meal-replacement from protein insofar as the meal replacements are all on my program, whereas any other protein bar is store-bought). I had a Royal Milk Tea in the evening (which also has sugar in it), and I had two Pringles; that does not mean I had two cans of Pringles… I had two chips. With those very minor aberrations from the program, I was hoping to see the numbers drop today, but it was not meant to be. I know that the adjustment back from the full-fast program to the modified program will take a few days, but I will continue to eat reasonably well. I do not want to return to Canada after a lax week being 5-10 lbs. up. I will continue to be careful… but the minute I am back on the ground in Canada, the full regimented program resumes.

    My plans for today include a salad for lunch. Leslie and I are trying to decide what to have for dinner, but we have not made a decision. I am so appreciative about one thing though… I mentioned shawarma, and she gave me a look and told me how bad that is for me. I can justify it all I want that it is salad and chicken, but aside from the quantities (and I don’t think I have ever left any over), all of the above is doused in salad dressing, hummus, tahina, and garlic sauce; that is all before I even look at a piece of pita! I looked up the nutritional facts online (picking a Lebanese restaurant that I know in Montreal, as the menu options are similar). The chicken shawarma plate has 1,310 calories… with 69g of fat, 2,600mg of sodium, and 134g of carbohydrates. Thank you, but no. I am happy to indulge, but that is way too indulgent… especially since I gorged on sushi just two nights ago.

    Since I wrote that paragraph, I have spent the last hour online trying to find a decent restaurant for dinner that would have reasonable choices. It is amazing how many restaurants down here do not have their nutritional information available – I called two restaurants which both told me that they do not share. I do not know if that is a major red flag, or if it is just a gentle reminder that if I am serious about being good, then I have to be even more mindful when this information is not available.

    Leslie has been kvelling about the Peking Duck Spring Rolls from P.F. Chang’s, so I decided to look at their menu and see what I might be able to eat. No, I cannot even think about ordering any of my usual staples from Chinese restaurants, but by planning out my order in advance, I can have the hot and sour soup (which I will share with Leslie), one spring roll (we will order the plate which comes with two and we will share), and the Oolong Chilean Sea Bass. Total for the meal: 945 calories with 70g of carbohydrates. That is a reasonable plan… and although I will not make a habit of meals with that many calories and carbs, I am happy that Leslie and I can enjoy a night out without my falling completely off the wagon. I look at the 945 calories and balk for a minute… but then I remember that it was not uncommon for me to have meals with twice that, and many more carbs (and starches and everything else bad) before my journey. The fact that I am mindful and aware of it is a sign that I am really making the effort to change, and the 90 minutes that I spent online trying to find a reasonable meal was not a total waste!

    It is 12:30pm, and I am going to run out to pick up our salads. It is a beautiful day in Dallas, and I know my gorgeous bride and I will take full advantage.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Dragging My Ass

    I was exhausted by the last hour of my class today, and I just wanted it to be over. I did not want it to end so that I could embark on a trailblazing walk, I just wanted to crawl into bed. No Mitch, you set a goal for yourself, and if you do not go for a good walk today, you will never be able to make up those crucial kilometres by Sunday. I had to go.

    I was just a little out of sorts, which is to say that things were not falling into place. I have a usual routine that I follow in the afternoons, and despite my intent to punish myself with a long walk, I just could not get into my after-class pattern. I cannot point to any reason for that, but that does not make it less true. I did get into my exercise kit, and prepared my satchel with a bottle of water and a face towel. I left it by the door so that I could take Princess Sophie for a walk, and then grab it when I dropped her off… and that is exactly what happened. Still and all, something was missing. Something just wasn’t right.

    It was warm, but that did not account for the slower than usual pace of my walking. Kilometre after kilometre I was disappointed by my times, especially after how well I have been doing this week. Even wearing my swiftest shoes (the Adidas that Leslie bought me), my best split-pace time was 10m38s. That, my friends, is not nearly at the standard I have been setting for myself these last few weeks.

    I did have a little trouble with my ankle in my second kilometre, but that sorted itself out. I did not feel any aching in it once I got past that second km. It was not the issue.

    After 6.5 kilometres I needed to stop for a break. I could not figure out what was wrong, I just did not have the energy I usually do. I was two kilometres from home, and I would be able to resume after a five-minute siesta, which is exactly what happened. It was as I sat on that bench that I figured it out. Eureka!

    I missed two activities as part of my pre-walk routine. The first was speaking with my wife; while I enjoy it, that was not what was wrong. The second… I make a meal replacement protein shake, which I usually drink while speaking with her. Protein is fuel. By skipping that step, I doomed today’s walk to mediocrity.

    • Distance: 8.5 km (8.5 km)
    • Duration: 1:33:00 (1:27:43)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 10:56 (10:19)
    • Best Split-Pace Kilometre: 10m38s
    • Steps: 10.8k (10.6k)
    • Calories burned: 991 (1,156)
    • Elevation gain: 34.1 (34.6m)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 116 (122)

    While today’s walk is not going to impress me in any way, it did accomplish one important mission. I said this morning that I was setting a goal to walk 55km this week, from Monday to Sunday. Today’s 8.5km brings my total to 40km, which means that I do not to break any speed records this weekend, I just need to go out for my usual walk, making sure that I do not fall short. If my body cooperates, tomorrow I am going to try to push my distance, knowing that there are thunderstorms in the forecast for Sunday. The more I get in tomorrow, the less that is needed for Sunday.

    I had my protein shake as I wrote this entry; it is nice to know that I still have one more shake that I can have this evening without cheating. I will probably have it after my cigar… we’ll see. For now, I am hitting the shower, and then I am calling my wife.