Losing a part of me

Category: Progress

  • Another Day 30

    I do not know how many times I have started over again since I started this blog and journal. I know that I have restarted several times and not gotten through the first month, but I have also gotten through the first thirty days several times before. The hard part of this attempt is behind me; the real work is ahead of me and has no end date.

    As of this morning I am down thirty-five pounds!!! You better believe that I am happy with that. I am especially happy knowing that I had dinner at a restaurant last night with my date, and while I ordered healthy, I did take one piece of garlic bread from her. I should not have done that.

    This evening I am having a turkey dinner at a Lodge, and I have to be aware of myself and careful of what (and how much) I put in my mouth. I was not careful last night, not because of the bread but because I accidentally broke my religious dietary laws. I have to atone for that, which I will do by giving to charity.

    I thought I had a good night sleep, but I would not have minded an extra hour. Every pet parent knows that when doggie asks to go out, you listen. She made it up to me a bit later though… we lay down for a nap later in the morning.

    By the way: after writing about certification exams yesterday, I decided to sit an exam right then. I was not sure what the exam would entail because while it is a topic I am pretty knowledgeable on, I had not looked at the study material; not one bit. The questions were asked in a convoluted manner – the grammar was terrible! I was worried, especially knowing that the passing score was 80%. When I pressed the Submit Answers button I was relieved that I passed. I got the minimum passing score, but that is as good as a perfect score. I have now passed 8 exams this calendar year… and probably 9 but I will only get the results of my beta exam in January. I am hoping to knock out two or three more exams this year, but we will see.

    Okay, I have to get things done. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 29: Week 5 Begins!

    I am not sure if the term ‘hit on’ is entirely correct, but it is fair to say that four women expressed possible interest in me over the last week! Of the three, one was extremely intoxicated and another was just batshit crazy. The other two seemed reasonable, sane, and attractive. This is a huge leap from where I was at a month ago. I am a gentleman, and because I am still seeing where things are going with the woman I have now been on two dates with I did not even exchange contact information with these women… but it is nice to know that they were interested.

    The beginning of Week 5 has me down 34.6 lbs. from my starting weight, and that makes me happy. I also notice that my clothes are fitting better.

    This week is going to be harder for me, and I will be satisfied with a one- or two-pound drop because I know that the two turkey dinners I will enjoy will take their toll. Realistically, even sticking with my meal replacements during the day, I might just break even on the week. I would like to do better than that.

    After my lunch (a meal replacement beef stew) I am going to run a couple of errands in the afternoon, and then I plan to study for an exam that I want to take in the next few weeks. Aside from the fact that the company I do most of my business with has asked me to get this certification, there is another reason:

    Last year (2025) I sat eleven exams and passed then of them. While that is by far the best year I have had for exams so far, I have an opportunity to beat it in 2026. If I do not take another exam then the seven that I have passed so far (probably eight, but I will not get the results of the last one until January) then I will have a 100% pass rate for the year, it will still be for fewer exams. If, on the other hand, I can get that number up to ten or eleven, then I can have a perfect year and meet or even beat the numbers from last year. Yes, I compete with myself and with nobody else. I have actually had eight years with 100% pass rates… but the most exams I took per perfect year was seven, and the next highest count was four. There were four years when I sat and passed a single exam. So far this year I am reasonably sure I have passed eight… but if I could get that number up to ten or eleven I will be thrilled 🙂

    Okay, my plans changed a bit. After I run my errands, I am going to meet a friend at the lounge for a cigar. Also, I have a date this evening. Wish me luck!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 28 – The end of Week 4

    With another half-pound drop this morning, the last day of my fourth week on the program has me down thirty-four pounds. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself! Would there have been more of a drop had I not cheated a few times? Absolutely… but I would rather the majority of my program be successful with a few minor cheats than have a couple of successful days in an otherwise failed attempt.

    I thought seriously about going out for breakfast this morning. I decided against it. There is a decent chance that I might have another salad with grilled chicken later today, which is fine as long as it is the only meal. Allowing myself multiple meals in a day is a true path to falling off the program, and I do not want that.

    I believe I am having two turkey dinners this week. I wrote about them in a recent entry.

    I had a chicken salad at the bar last night, and still lost weight today. I think I am going to continue including one salad per day in my program; I had decided at the very beginning of my journey that I would do that after about a month, which is almost exactly where we are now. I’m not disappointed!

    I have been working on a couple of new-to-me computers this morning, but it is almost time for me to stop working for this Sunday. I am going to have a hot bowl of stew for lunch before heading over to the cigar lounge to meet a friend in about an hour.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 27: Back on track (ish…)

    As I wrote in this journal yesterday, it was my intention to eat a slice of pizza at Lodge. That did not happen as all of the pizza had meat on it, primarily pork I would assume. My diet is a convenient with myself which I can break and only break my word to myself. Breaking my word with G-d is another story. When the Lodge sat down to eat I took my leave and went home to enjoy a bowl of soup. It worked out.

    I got hungry later in the evening while I was at the bar, and I did not think I had another meal replacement in the car. I decided to order a salad which grilled chicken, and asked them to go light on the dressing. I think I did pretty well, considering it was absolutely a cheat.

    My weight this morning dropped back to where it was Thursday. I am relieved that additional salad did not hurt my progress. In order to hit my goal of fifty pounds by the end of November, I have to drop another seventeen pounds, and I have twenty-three days to achieve it. Unfortunately, there are two turkey dinners in there – one for a Lodge that I am visiting on Tuesday, another for a Friendsgiving dinner for my Jewish group. I will do my absolute best to eat in moderation, but assuming that I gain three pounds (combined) from those two cheat days, I have 23 days to lose 20 lbs. which is not going to be easy… but as I said, I set lofty goals, and if I lose 47 and not 50 then I will absolutely consider it a success.

    I have a few things going on today, but nothing that should involve eating. If I decide to have another salad for dinner this evening then I will not feel guilty about it. We will see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 24 Worries

    Firstly, I want to say that the hockey game last night was the absolute worst loss I have ever witnessed in any sport. I was pissed off.

    My weight is down nearly 1.5 lbs. from yesterday which made me feel great. I had another 800 calorie day yesterday which is exactly what I needed. The fact that I did not either eat or drink after watching the disgusting final minutes of the game is a testament to my willpower.

    Today will be different. It is our second date, and she picked a seafood restaurant that does not look very diet (not to mention kosher) friendly. I reviewed their menu online and have decided that I will order the Green Salad with Balsamic Vinaigrette with salmon. I know that the smartest way to avoid diet landmines when eating out is to plan ahead, and to know before you go. Had I looked at the menu and decided there was nothing that I would be able to eat, then I would have asked my date to pick another restaurant. When you fail to plan, you plan to fail. I plan to succeed!

    It is a lovely day out, although it was also the first time since we arrived in Texas that the temperatures when I stepped outside in the morning were in the fifties. People around here are freezing their patooties off. My Canadian patootie is just fine, but since I am teaching (and then going on a date) I am still wearing a suit.

    Okay, my class is just about done with their lab. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 22… Week Four begins!

    While I wish I had stepped onto the bathroom scale the morning of Day 1, that does not even crack the top 100 things I would change if I had a time machine. That afternoon I know what I weighed because I checked at 1:30pm, and that will be my ‘official starting weight.’ I might one day, but I am certainly not ready today to share what that was. What I am ready to share is that this morning I weigh 31.2 lbs. less than I did on that day, and by no means am I upset with that progress!

    Yesterday morning I did not sit down to write as I usually do. After I came in from walking Her Floofness I fed her, made coffee and my morning shake, and I had two more hours to study before my exam. I do not know if those two hours made the difference or not, but I passed and was elated – if surprised – by that. I have another exam to take today, but I am not nearly as stressed about this exam than yesterday’s. For one thing, it was a much higher level exam. More pressing than that though is the fact that I am teaching the class for yesterday’s exam starting tomorrow, and while I have certainly taught classes for which I was not certified before, I was told in no uncertain terms by the training provider that I should have this certification prior to the class starting. Mission accomplished.

    Today’s exam is for a new certification and the exam is still in the beta stages, which means that I will not get a score result when I walk out of the exam. Yes, I said walk out of… because it is a beta exam, I cannot sit the exam remotely from home. The testing centre is a twenty minute drive from me, but I will leave very early in case of traffic.

    It seems like I am not the only one who had a nice time Friday night; we have a second date scheduled for Wednesday, and I am looking forward to it. This time I am leaving the restaurant choice up to her, and I will either eat something that is not too bad… or I will not eat. Hopefully I can just order a salad wherever she opts to go. As I have lamented before, both in these pages and to the few friends with whom I share my thoughts and emotions of my weight loss journey… dating and extreme dieting can make for a difficult tightrope to walk.

    I did have cheese and crackers at the lounge yesterday… and a handful of nuts. That I still dropped half a pound this morning is a good sign that I can eat occasionally… but I am going to try to not make a habit of it. I suspect I would have done slightly better had I had the cheese without the crackers. Yes, probably; but I still did better than I would have had I had one of the doughnuts or cookies that was offered. I might be able to do better, but I could definitely have done much worse.

    It’s another lovely autumn day here in Addison and I am going to enjoy my drive to the testing centre. I will take my cigar kit with me so that when I finish the exam I can go to the lounge directly from there. Oh, and I will pack my miniature cooler with some ice and a couple of meal replacements… so I don’t have to change my plans to come home early.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 21… Phew!

    Let me put a few ideas down here before I lose them. It will be a short entry.

    I noticed that I have been able to run up the stairs to my third floor apartment. That is an improvement!

    Despite cheating yesterday with some cheese and crackers that were out at the cigar lounge, my weight dropped nevertheless… to below Friday’s weight, which means that both yesterday’s cheat and Friday’s date night are now out of my system as it were. My total weight loss is back at thirty pounds. Yay!

    I was extremely nervous about the exam I had to take this morning, and was thoroughly relieved when, after clicking past the post-exam questionnaire they ask you, the results page showed that I passed. Yay!

    I don’t think I slept very well last night, but since I have not been wearing my fitness watch, I have no confirmation of that. Yes, that is facetious.

    I spent much of the afternoon at my cigar lounge studying, and most of the evening at my bar last night watching my Montreal Canadiens beat Pittsburgh (in a bit of a nail-biter). I was ready to come home after the game when a buddy texted and told me he was on his way to meet me. I still managed to get home by 11:15pm.

    I might see my friend (from Friday evening) again this afternoon if she decides she wants to have a cigar with me, but that is up in the air. We shall see.

    It is now 1:20pm. and my body is a little confused because we set the clocks back last night. I’ll have my lunch meal replacement shortly, and then I’ll head to the cigar lounge. If she and I do not get together this afternoon then I will be studying for another exam that I am writing tomorrow.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 19: Date Night!

    Yes, I have a date this evening. I am looking forward to it. I am also very worried about it because I will have to fall off the program for one meal. I made the decision that the risk was worth it… but I know I have to be careful about what I eat… and how much.

    Last night I came in at 11:45pm having had only four meal replacements. I thought briefly about going straight to bed, but in then end I decided to have my final one before sleeping. I was very hungry, and it was the right thing to do.

    I finally got paid today, and am going to make my new order of meal replacements today so that they should arrive early next week.

    A Jewish group that I am a member of is hosting an event in two weeks that they are calling Friendsgiving Dinner. I think that if tonight’s cheat meal works well, then I should be able to go through to that and enjoy a small turkey dinner. If I feel that I cannot do it then I am going to get out of there. I have to be strong and yes, I want to be part of my community and I want to make friends… but not at the cost of my success with this program.

    Speaking of the program: After the hockey game last night (which my team won by the way) I went to the bar to meet my friend and her girlfriend. My friend knows all about my diet, but this was the first time I have seen her girlfriend in over a month, so it was the first time I even mentioned it to her. With the best of intentions, she stressed me out. She strongly corrected me that I was not dieting, but I was on a lifestyle change. Friend, I know all of these things. This is not my first kick at this can. I am so proud of you for having succeeded at losing a ton of weight, but unless I am in the mindset for it, I do not want to discuss anything about it – not my plans, my intake, and not the psychology behind it. I was not upset with her in the least – she is a wonderful woman who means only the best for me – but under even the most ideal conditions the subject causes my blood pressure to shoot up, and that was not what I wanted last night. She is great though… and when we are not in a bar surrounded by a bunch of strangers and near-strangers.

    It only occurred to me just now, but as of this morning my weight is down thirty pounds from Day 1. In what world would I not be thrilled by that progress? I have a long way to go… and even if after this evening’s cheat meal I do gain back a pound, I will still be happy with it. By my two new goals I have to lose twenty pounds in November, and then another twenty-five pounds in December. If I am going to succeed with both of those goals then it is much more likely that I will lose the 25 in November and 20 in December… but either way I am happy. Even if I do not lose the seventy-five pounds I want to by New Years, unless I fall off the wagon completely then any conservative estimate still has me losing another 30, which means at least sixty pounds lost from October 13 through December 31. I expect that it will be closer to seventy pounds than sixty!

    My next task, while staying on the program, is to start exercising. That will happen over the weekend… but it cannot interfere with my studying, which is extremely important. I have two major exams I need to sit in the next three days.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 18 Yays!

    I have several emotional successes this morning. Let’s see if I can get them on paper:

    1. My weight dropped significantly from yesterday morning – over two pounds!
    2. As of right now, I am officially a couple of ounces under the weight I was the day I first weighed myself as a resident of the United States – in other words, I have shed over five months of weight gain.
    3. I have lost twenty-five pounds since I started my journey. That puts me halfway to my original goal of losing fifty pounds by New Years, and one third of the way to my new goal of losing seventy-five pounds in that time.
    4. I have resolved a number of minor financial issues that were not devastating, but they were certainly costing me money.
    5. I had a very lovely evening last night. I will not go into any details, but there is possible potential.

    Yeah, that’s about the size of it. I got home very late last night, and had a decision to make. I had only consumed four meal replacements throughout the day. I am supposed to have five. In real numbers I was working on 640 calories! Should I have a quick MR before getting into bed, or should I go to bed hungry? I decided on the latter option. It was not because I thought that it would help me to lose more weight… it was simply an issue of I do not like ingesting calories after 10pm, let alone after midnight!

    My son has confirmed that he will be heading up to Canada to see his mother and brother and friends, and that he is leaving tomorrow. That means that for the first time since we’ve been settled into the apartment in Dallas (and frankly, since I moved to the USA from Canada) my Princess Sophie and I will be completely alone in our apartment for a few weeks! I love my son, and I would not trade the time that we have had to get closer for anything. However, there is no question that his dog is a presence (all 70 pounds of German shepherd), and yes… I have to comport myself a bit differently when I am not alone here. Two adults with very strong personalities living in close quarters with two dogs (who also have big personalities) is an experience. In fact…

    …Just yesterday I was sitting at the bar and overheard a conversation between the manager and one of the bartenders. She is probably 21- or 22-years-old. I do not delve into the private lives of the staff there, but I remember hearing two bits of information over time: 1) She was roommates with another one of the bartenders; and 2) (heard over the weekend) She was moving out of the other bartender’s apartment. As this conversation went, the manager said something to the effect that not all friends make good roommates, and not all roommates make good friends. While this is true, my son is NOT a roommate, he is my son. That, however, does not change the fact that people living under the same roof have to go out of their way to respect each other. I believe we both do a good job of that… and I am still looking forward to having the apartment to myself for a few weeks!

    Tomorrow evening there is a very good chance that I will be going off my program for the evening. I may be having dinner with a young lady that will be at an Italian restaurant. I have weighed the pros and cons of this, as well as the potential dangers to my progress. The owner of the restaurant has already told me that he will gladly accommodate my diet by preparing foods not on the menu. I am going to order a salad and a piece of chicken (I’ll discuss the style with him tomorrow). I will not touch the bread, and I will not have pasta. I think that is a good course of action.

    This evening my beloved Montreal Canadiens are playing in Dallas! I wish I could go to the game, but the cheapest seats I can find in the sections I prefer to sit in are far too expensive for my current budget. If it was a playoff game I might consider it, or if my finances were a bit more in order. As such, I have spoken with the staff at the cigar lounge, and they will be showing the game for me. A couple of members have said they want to join, and are likely going to try to bet me on the game. I might be willing to take them up on that!

    As for my plans for today and tomorrow during the day, I have to study this afternoon and tomorrow. It is already 1pm, and I have my meal replacement stew in the microwave. Once I have enjoyed it, I will take my study materials and head to the cigar lounge, where I will likely be until the hockey game is over. Yes, I have always been a Montreal Canadiens fan… but I think I have gotten more adamant about making sure I can watch every game this year than I ever way. Maybe that is a touchstone of missing Canada… I don’t know.

    Okay, it is time for lunch. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 17 Frustration

    My 800 calories/day streak continues, and while I was smarter and did not enjoy my final meal replacement until after 8:00pm, I still found myself hungry before bed. I stayed true to the program though… nothing other than meal replacements.

    At some point I am going to introduce salads and raw vegetables into my diet, but not yet. Let me get through my first month and then we’ll see.

    I had a presentation that I had to give this morning, and I was nervous about it. I am not entirely sure why I was nervous, but I felt that I was not prepared. I got through it, and I am told it went well. The day goes on.

    After so many days of losing at least a pound, the pace has abated these last two days, and I find myself dropping by only half a pound per day. I know, that is nothing to be upset about… I just feel a little impatient. What I should be paying attention to is how my clothes fit. My sports jacket is nowhere near as tight today as it was a few weeks ago… even with the firearm in my belt!

    Okay, it is near enough to noon that I can start preparing my beef stew for lunch. Yes, I am that hungry that I am counting down.

    Have a great day folks!