Losing a part of me

Category: Temptations

  • 2026 Day 3

    Irrelevant to my progress, I realized yesterday after I published my daily entry that I had already used the title Day 1, Day 2, etc… and so in order to make things clear, I am changing the titles. Today’s year-Day is not set in stone, but it’s what I came up with for now.

    I cheated yesterday. It took me less than 48 hours to fall off the wagon. Fortunately, it was not a terrible fall. After my third meal replacement I went out to visit with friends. On my way there I realized I was very hungry, and I did not want to arrive at their place and see temptations on the table. I stopped off and bought a handful of peanuts, which I ate in the car as I drove down there.

    When I arrived I realized that I had absolutely made the right decision. Before I even sat down, I was told that there were delicious fried chicken wings over here, and sour gummies over there. Less than an hour earlier I was speaking with my new diet buddy and she told me that a cup of celery per day was allowed on the program. With that knowledge, I took two spears of celery from the bowl of crudités before sitting down to light my cigar. Despite the temptations that were everywhere, I did not indulge.

    I had told my diet buddy that I was not going to start integrating celery into my program, but I am beginning to rethink that decision. I am going to reevaluate that decision. I have not made a decision yet, but I will think about it. I do have to go to the supermarket today to pick up a quart of milk for my coffee, and depending on how I feel (and how they look in the produce section) I might pick up a celery. We shall see.

    It is important to point out that while other vegetables might be healthy, celery is probably the lowest calorie vegetable per volume, with a medium stalk containing six (6) calories. There is a myth that we burn more calories than that when eating it which is untrue, but it is still a very healthy way to get full (and get more dietary fibre) without any of the negative contents (carbohydrates, starches, sugars) that I am trying to avoid.

    Aside from milk and celery, I also need to fill my propane tanks if I have any plans to smoke on the balcony this week. While the forecast high temperatures will be above zero through Thursday, there might be wind which would make that uncomfortable… but in case it is not, I would like to have the option. I am seldom tempted to snack when I am smoking a cigar.

    I remembered yesterday that one of the most important things to remember when dieting is to drink a lot of water. I was negligent on that on Thursday, but yesterday I refilled my 30oz bottle at least three times throughout the day. It might have been four. I do know that I spent a lot more time running to the latrine than I usually do. I will try to keep that up. The weekend might be more challenging because I do not think about it, but during the week while I am teaching it will be easier. I will make a point of trying to drink at least two litres every day, which is a little more than sixty-five ounces. During the week when I am teaching that will be easier, but I am already at least a third of my way there this Saturday afternoon. Not too bad!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1299

    As I lay in bed unable to sleep from 5:30pm until I did something about it around 8:00pm, I believe I learned an important lesson. While it is not good for my weight loss progress to overeat, it is also bad for me to undereat. Yesterday I was thinking about other things, and by the time I got into bed I had only eaten two meal replacements. For all of the people who have told me that my usual 900 calories per day is unhealthy (despite what the medical professionals have told me), I know that 450 calories is a bad idea. I tell my student all the time that good and bad are subjective. Objectively, without judgement, undereating prevents me from falling asleep. Last night was the second night in the last week that I consumed significantly fewer than my normal 900 calories, and it was the second time that I could not fall asleep. Eventually I got out of bed and had another meal replacement, bringing my daily total to 675 calories. I still had difficulties falling asleep, but I got back into bed and rested until I did. I might have gotten two hours of sleep… but I doubt it. I will take a nap this afternoon.

    I am back to teaching ridiculous hours, which means that my weigh-ins are going to be at crazy hours. Well, that is not fair… I will be working from 1:30am until noon, which means that I will be weighing myself around 1:00am every weekday for the next two weeks. That began this morning, and my weight was exactly what it was yesterday morning at my regular time. Considering the lack of sleep and no bowel movements, I am not displeased with that. For the next ten weekdays I will weigh myself at the same time, and will hopefully continue to see my weight drop.

    I have written about this before, but I was reminded of it today. I hate food commercials. When I am trying to lose weight and to maintain my discipline it is just evil to show me wonderful tasty and extremely unhealthy foods which I love, crave, and absolutely cannot eat. It is not only TV commercials, it is also billboards, TV shows and movies, TikTok and Facebook reels… you get the picture. I want it all! I am also aware just how guilty I felt yesterday morning when I realized that the ground I had lost was because of those stupid onion rings. However tempting it is, it is a temporary satisfaction followed by days of guilt and self-loathing. That does not mean that I like the temptation. Seeing those ads is not easier for knowing that I would hate myself if I succumbed to temptation. I am not saying that anyone is guilty – freedom of expression extends to ads – I am just saying that when I am trying to lose weight I hate it.

    So far I have stuck to the plan for the day… at 1:00am I had my first meal replacement, and while I am starting to feel hungry (itis currently 5:15am) I will be able to make it through to my lunchtime – after I walk Princess Sophie. By my calculations that should have me enjoying that second shake in 90 minutes. I am drooling with anticipation!

    Okay, it is time for me to get back to work. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1290

    I was in bed and asleep at a reasonable hour last night… but when I woke up to pee around 1:10am I got into my head. My worries over both of my children (who are of very different ages and who have very different problems right now) kept me awake for a couple of hours. My sleep before and after that was good, which is how I ended up with a sleep score of 67… but yeah, I had it pretty accurate – looking at the data from my fitness watch, I was awake from 1:06am to 3:06am. I likely would have slept another 30-60 minutes were it not from a phone call from my son the elder at 8:30am. I have heard from him more this past week than likely any time in the past decade, and I am so grateful for it! I will also not be upset with him for a phone call at 8:30am, even if it did wake me up. Sorry society, but that is not an unreasonable hour for a call!

    My weight dropped a full pound from yesterday! That brings my current weight loss to 28.2 lbs. in 24 days. That is certainly nothing to sneeze at! I did cheat with peanuts again yesterday, but I find that if I replace one meal replacement with a reasonable amount of unsalted peanuts then it does not harm my progress. It is when I have the peanuts in addition to my complement of meal replacements that I get into trouble. That, and the day of my exam when I ate salted peanuts (because that was what was available).

    Today will be a challenge because I am taking my son the younger for lunch. I know that I will be tempted, but I will do my best to stay strong. I cannot give in to temptation! I will also then take him grocery shopping, and the instructions from his mother are to let him buy what he wants. The only item I need for myself is coffee, and I hope I do not forget. If I do, then I will be scrambling tomorrow morning!

    It is another beautiful day, and my friend Eduardo is coming over this afternoon. He needs help with his computer, and I am always happy to see him. I doubt that his issues will take me more than a few minutes to solve, after which we will sit and enjoy a cigar on the balcony.

    I scheduled another certification exam for Wednesday because I have been asked to teach the class the following week. While it is certainly a topic I will not have any issues with, they want me to be certified so I will take the exam. I will also spend some time studying over the next few days – while I am not worried, I still want to be prepared. I spent more time studying for the CISSP exam than for any I have ever taken… and it felt good to know that pass or fail, I gave it my all. Seeing as I have work I need to do on Monday and Tuesday, I will spend some time this afternoon (after Eduardo leaves) and tomorrow with my head in the books.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1284

    In my usual manner, I woke up this morning to the same morning routine as always. Impatient as I am with my weight loss progress, I was still satisfied with the same-old .8 lbs. drop from yesterday. I say same-old because following the initial tremendous drop the first few days, the most common day-over-day drop has been that. I got dressed, took Her Floofness for her walk, and then returned home to feed her, make coffee, and prepare my meal replacement.

    Between preparing all of that and actually starting to ingest it I felt the urge, and went to the water closet to try… and indeed succeeded. Yay! I decided that since I had not already eaten that I would get nekkid and re-weigh myself. Dropping another .6 lbs. from my initial attempt, it brought me to a great milestone: since Day 1 (today is Day 18) I have officially dropped twenty-five pounds!! That is no small feat, and is certainly worthy of recognition.

    Wonder of wonders, my sleep score this morning was good for the third day straight… and the second night in three was a 90+. Okay, it was 90 on the dot, but that is still considered excellent. I cannot think of too many times since I started wearing this watch that my sleep score was ninety or better. I am going to do my best to make sure I am in bed and with the lights out by 11:00pm as often as I can. That seems to be making a difference.

    As planned, I spent the afternoon yesterday in St. Catharines with a couple of masonic brothers – one of which I have known and been friends with since before I was initiated, the other one who I have only known on Facebook. He and I hit it off like gangbusters. There is a saying that in Freemasonry there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. I don’t know about that; I do know that this gentleman and I absolutely hit it off in our love of History, our first-hand knowledge of the Middle East, and our understanding of and respect for each other’s culture. I am so glad that I drove down there, and it was worth the nearly 2.5 hours I sat in traffic on the QEW.

    Unfortunately, I was weak… I stopped along the way to pee and decided while I was there to pick up some peanuts. At least they were the unsalted kind. While all cheating is cheating, there are better and worse cheats. It turns out though that it was a good thing that I cheated. When I arrived at his house he offered me an alcoholic beverage (I politely declined, explaining to him that my current diet forbids it), and there were bowls of snacks – party mix, nuts (the salted kind), and chips freely available and within arm’s reach. Had I not eaten the unsalted peanuts en route there is a very good chance that I would have succumbed to these temptations. He also offered up that his wife makes the most amazing zaatar pita that I have tasted outside of Lebanon, and would gladly make some for us. I asked for a rain cheque for when I was not on my diet. This was probably the hardest offer I have had yet to refuse. If you know, you know.

    My son the elder is coming over this afternoon for a drink. Next weekend his mother is driving him down to North Carolina to begin his Master program at university, and this will be the last time we sit down before that. He and I have had a complicated relationship, and while he has freely admitted over the past decade or so that I have made huge positive changes, it still took him a long time to fully trust and accept ‘the new me.’ Over the last few months he has reached out to connect with me a handful of times; I suspect he thinks me a good sounding board for some of his thoughts and ideas, and when I do offer advice (which I try to do sparingly and only when asked) it is reasonable and wise… and from a very different perspective from what his mother and the other adults in his life might offer. He does from time to time like to try to shock me as well; while he knows about some of my past, I suspect he knows but the tip of the iceberg of what my true experience is. He has on a few occasions mildly surprised me, but thus far has not come close to shock. I hope he does not push the boundaries in his attempts, because his health and safety are too important to me!

    He is bit of a feinshmecker in many respects, especially with respect to alcohol. He has been working these last couple of years at the largest LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario – the official alcohol retailer in Ontario, and the largest single purchaser of alcoholic beverages in the world), and so for me to have a bottle that he has never seen is always a treat for him. Last month a friend was in British Colombia and sent me a picture of a bottle he came across that was so completely different and that is not available in Ontario. If he does want to try it then yes, I will open the bottle and yes, I will have a dram which will definitely be a diet cheat. It is not every day that my son comes over to celebrate starting a master of law program at a top U.S. school!

    Other than that, I expect today will be a quiet day for me. I will try to get some work done, and might have to spend some time on the balcony reading. While I have been listening to the audio book Moby Dick, I think I am going to revisit one of the early Dan Brown novels that I have sitting on my shelf. He has a new book in the Robert Langdon series coming out in September and I will definitely read it, but I confess I think all of his subsequent novels have paled in comparison to Angels and Demons and the Davinci code. So be it, I will still read the new one. Hope springs eternal.

    Since writing that paragraph I decided to completely organize my bookshelves, organizing them by category. It is amazing how many religious texts I have, in addition to the myriad books on Jewish thinking, on Israel, and on Israel’s wars. Most of these non-religious books in those categories I was given by my father’s widow, a friend of our family for most of my life, when she sold her house and moved into a retirement complex. There are two shelves of cigar books, and a very small one for fiction. I love fiction and read it all the time… I just do not usually keep them when I am done with them.

    Also since writing that paragraph, a buddy of mine texted me and asked if he could come over for a cigar. He is driving here from Grimsby, and while he says he is just passing through and thought it would be great to see me, I know that I saw him yesterday, and he might have something that he needs to talk about. My door is always open for my friends.

    Aside from a wee dram with my son, my plan for today is to stick to the program. I hope I can succeed… I know that I promised that one week from tomorrow I will be recording videos, and I want to look as good as I can. That will not be very good… but at least I can try to drop another five pounds this week.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1055

    At long last I had a productive bowel movement this morning. While it did not completely clear out my system, it certainly had a negative affect on another one… but nothing that a little plunging could not fix.

    I decided to buy a package of rice cakes yesterday. I will not be doing that again. I have disposed of what is left.

    I was relieved that the lodge that I visited yesterday ordered pizza… and that the only ones that did not have meat on it had olives. The former I cannot eat for religious reasons, the latter because I just do not like olives. As such the only cheating I did after the lodge meeting was a dram of whisky proffered by one of the lodge officers. They also invited me to their holiday party this Saturday evening which is being held at a local brewery. I am seldom tempted by beer, but I will go for the camaraderie.

    Yesterday did not go as planned (mostly owing to the rice cakes I would think), but I managed to eke out one small victory. It was 10:30pm before we left the lodge, and I had not yet hit the 6,500 steps mark on my fitness watch. I wrote yesterday that I wanted to extend my steps-goal streak, but when I got home, I still needed to take Her Floofness out for a walk (which would never amount to the 4,500 steps needed to hit the goal. By the time she and I got back in (around 11:15pm) I was still below 7,500 steps. With very little time to spare I changed into my workout kit and got onto the treadmill. I knew that my workout would not be a good steady one, but I wanted to hit my steps-goal. I did the first kilometre at the same 4mph pace I had done my previous jogs at. For the second kilometre I kicked it up to 4.5 mph, and actually felt like I could have gone farther at that speed… or faster. For the last 1.3 kilometres I dropped the pace to a brisk walk. The daily goal was 11,000; I got off the treadmill at 11:45pm with 11,018 steps registered and finished the day with 11,027 (I take my fitness watch off when I get into the shower of course).

    The steps-goal of my fitness watch is a progressive goal. I am not entirely clear on how it works, but apparently Garmin calculates the steps-goal based on the value of the previous week (about) achievements. As such, were I to stay in and do nothing then my steps goal would drop tomorrow, but if I had blown my steps-goal away then it would jump. As an example, there was one day in February when my steps-goal was 8,700, and I took 14,700 steps. My steps-goal the following day was 9,910, and I took 17,742 steps. My steps-goal the day after that was up to 11,480, but I only took 10,900 steps. That would have been enough to crush the steps-goal from any previous day, but because of the huge surplus on Days 1 & 2, it was below the actual goal for Day 3. I am currently on a 10-day streak, but I have been somewhat practical about it, in that I have not vastly exceeded my steps-goal on any given day. On November 30 the goal was 9,740. While there have been a couple of days during the streak when I ‘crushed’ it, most days I have only slightly beaten the calculated goal, so while the goal for yesterday was 11,000, today’s goal is 11,010. I will definitely need to hit the treadmill (or go out for a jog… it’s pretty nice out today), but I will not need to up my game to a new level to extend my streak to eleven days.

    My sleep score was 79, the best it has been in quite a few days. This despite the late-night workout. My body battery peaked at 66, although that is now down to 54. I am sure that before the day is done it will get all the way down again… but hopefully I will have a good night sleep and will be able to recover completely.

    A lodge brother is coming over for a coffee in a little bit, but aside from that and a Zoom meeting I have to attend this evening it should be a quiet and relaxing day. I will certainly hit the treadmill, but I do not think I have too much else going on. With the weather I might even sit outside with a cigar.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1054

    By all rights my weight should have been up this morning, and not down .6 lb. From yesterday morning. But for a very late delivery guy I would have gained two pounds. I was weak, and when Ryan ordered the pizza, I was really looking forward to having a slice… or two. Fortunately, ninety minutes after he ordered them, they had not yet arrived, and I decided to take my leave. I enjoyed a protein bar in the car, and an omelette when I got home. Yes, I ate some peanuts and even a little popcorn throughout the day, and that was bad. Pizza would have been a disaster. 

    Following my dinner, I got onto the treadmill and jogged 5km. It was the third day in a row that I jogged, and the second that I completed 5km. I am quite happy with that and will try to continue to do that. My next goal is to start increasing the speed and distance… although not necessarily at the same time. I did kick up the pace for the last .2km, but that is not the same. I want to increase my maintained speed, rather than just ‘sprinting’ the last few metres. It will not be a quick increase, but if I do it gradually over time then I will be happy with my results. At my current pace of 4mph I would need over 6.5 hours to run a marathon. By increasing my pace to 5mph that would drop to 5.24 hours. I would still not qualify for the Boston Marathon, but I would be thrilled with myself if I could do that. 

    I am teaching today until 4:30pm, and then I have to go to the supermarket to pick up eggs, milk, and one or two other provisions. I will try to be good and not buy any cheats. At 7:00pm I am visiting a lodge in Burlington with a friend. I have never been to this lodge, but it is much closer to me than my own. By all rights that is where I probably should have joined, but I had my friends at my lodge and here we are. It should be a fun evening. I just have to remember to not eat! 

    My current steps-goal streak is nine days. I am not sure when I will be able to get onto the treadmill, but I will do my best to do so either before or after my lodge visit. I would love to extend the streak to ten days. Actually, according to my fitness watch my longest streak is sixteen days, and I would love to be able to beat that… but I am going to do it one day at a time, which means for today extending my current streak to ten days… and then tomorrow will be tomorrow’s problem. 

    I spoke with a buddy yesterday and we decided that later this week (probably Friday) we are going to drive down to Niagara Falls, NY for the day. We both have a few parcels to ship, and as Canada Post is on strike, there is no inexpensive way to ship anything to the USA. Maybe we will make a day of it (and not just run across and back like our last trip), but if we do then I had better plan ahead. To that end, I now have three protein bars in the armrest of my car so that if I do get hungry, I do not have to settle for foods that are incompatible with my weight loss goals. 

    I started this entry at 8:15am. It is now 12:30pm and we broke for lunch. It has been a pretty easy morning – I am teaching a very high-level overview of a technology that I know, and we will not be getting deep into anything. I just finished my afternoon meal replacement shake and so far, I am feeling satisfied. I hope that continues for the next few hours. If I could get through to the end of class before needing another meal replacement, and then when I get home from the Burlington lodge, I can hit the treadmill for 5km and then have my final mean replacement, then I will have succeeded 100% in my goals for the day… which is to say that I will not have cheated, and I will have had the necessary nutrition, and I will meet my steps/exercise goal. That is the plan. 

    We know, of course, that the best laid plans of mice and men do not always work out… but I am going to try. 

    Have a great day folks! 

  • Day 1053

    I am not sure if today is Day 3 or Day 4 without even a half-decent bowel movement, and I suspect that is having at least some effect on my weight. Yes, I ate the rest of the chicken and salad (that I had purchased on Friday) yesterday, but it was not an unreasonable amount. I also jogged five kilometres on the treadmill. All this to say that I am reasonably sure that if my system was not backed up then I would have dropped more than a couple of ounces from yesterday morning. I am still 3.2 lbs. heavier than I was Wednesday morning.

    Today is going to be a challenge. We are having a holiday get together at a buddy’s place. We will mostly be smoking cigars, but the host asked about our pizza preferences. I told him to not account for me in his pizza planning. He then posted this morning that he is going to pick up special doughnuts. I am going to have to avoid those as well. I have packed three protein bars to take with me and will try to stick to eating only two of them. Whatever I do, when I get home this evening I will be hitting the treadmill.

    Speaking of the treadmill, I did a strong 5km jog yesterday evening. The difference between my quick-walking and actually jogging is the difference between setting the speed to 3.6 to 4.0. It feels good to be able to jog and not tire out as I would have a couple of months ago. I actually feel that the factor that stopped me from a longer jog yesterday was the time constraints – I had a meeting I needed to get to, so I had to cut it short when I did. I will see if I can go longer this evening.

    Over the course of the last couple of hours I have gone to the washroom a couple of times, trying to produce… something. It is hard and painful, but slowly over time I am getting some of that blockage out. It feels as if I have not had any fibre whatsoever. I am thinking that this evening I might consider a laxative to see if that helps.

    My sleep score last night was fair – a 76, which is mostly because I woke up earlier than I might have (especially for a Sunday morning). My body battery was up to 48. While I certainly slept better last night than the previous night, it would seem my body did not recover as well. Hopefully that will get better tomorrow. We will see.

    Speaking of tomorrow, I am teaching for the day. It is an intro course so nothing too deep, but I am looking forward to it. It is my only day teaching this month… yikes. I am glad to have not wasted my downtime… I sat a class, passed two certifications, and next week I am sitting another class to hopefully earn another cert. These two certifications will really increase my value as a trainer and as a consultant. I have gone through slow periods before and truly wasted them. Between November and December, I will have had two days of actual work… but I have definitely not wasted the downtime. Professional advancement is crucial in my line of work, and I have done a lot of that in this period.

    The plan for today is to NOT fall off the wagon, right? Okay… let’s try to make that happen.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1049

    I am always pleased when I see good numbers on the bathroom scale. It has dropped seven of the last eight days, for a total loss in that time of 11.8 lbs. Woohoo!

    There are times when numbers are important, and there are times when they can have a deceptive or misleading affect on us. Why is it that I see a difference of two or three points on my sleep score as being relevant? A few days ago I was disappointed that it was only a 79, yet this morning I was thrilled that it was 82. It does not make sense, but there we have it. It is not as if I am taking a test, and the difference between passing and failing is those three points. Yes, my sleep score was 82… and I woke up after eight hours of sleep… at 5:45am. I should mention that I did not change my routine last night, and I did not wake up with a headache. Maybe I am getting used to the new element.

    I got a lot done yesterday, and I still managed to get onto the treadmill for 5km… although I was dragging a bit and decided to slow my pace for the last kilometre. With that, and this morning’s walk with Her Floofness, I am under 4km from reaching the 1024kms goal of the fitness challenge. If I get on the treadmill today, then I will achieve it. If not, then it will be tomorrow morning. Either way, I am glad that I am approaching the finish line on that. I am hoping that I will be able to keep this habit going into the new year and beyond.

    I am meeting friends for dinner this evening and I am going to have to be careful, and possibly even deceitful. They are in from out of town, so I want to see them, but eating out is not a good idea. I am likely going to tell them that I am not feeling well so I will just have a drink as they eat. We’ll see.

    I am actually meeting someone else for coffee this morning, but he is local and that is a business meeting. Still and all, he is going to offer to buy me a muffin or doughnut. That is going to be easy to decline. He is a larger man and likely understands the challenges of taking it off and keeping it off. With him it will be easy to say ‘Sorry, I am on a diet… but you should enjoy one.’

    I realized last night that I had volunteered to make potato latkes for my Lodge’s holiday dinner (which is December 17th). When I discussed it with Leslie she agreed that it was a very bad idea… there is too much temptation for me to make such a dish while I am on a strict diet. I decided that I am going to let them know that I will not be able to deliver on that promise. It is bad enough that I will be eating the turkey dinner that night… deep-fried latkes would not be a smart addition to it.

    As I prepare to close out this article, I am looking at the bottom of the page in my Microsoft Word document. The page number is 999, which means that unless I am very short tomorrow, then I will cross that threshold on Day 1050. I know that over the last 1049 days I have had a lot of good days and too many bad ones, but I think it is this journal that has, more than anything, kept me from falling off the cliff completely. There were days when I was angry and just posted a word or two… and there were a number of days when I forgot to write but got back to it the next day. Each time I open this document I am reminded that I need to try to do better today than I did yesterday. That is my goal.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1019

    My weight was up this morning by more than a pound. As we know, yesterday was a travel day and airports are not conducive to good eating. After Leslie and her son dropped me off I got through the security checkpoint and then found a pub where I could safely get a plate of fish and chips – not great for my diet, but safe for my dietary restrictions. I then boarded the plane with a bag of almonds and cashews which I had picked up earlier in the week. All in all, I did not eat terribly. The problem is that I am still backed up! I am hoping that sometime today that will begin to pass. If not, then I am thinking I might want to take a laxative, or at the very least some fibre. We will see how the day goes.

    My sleep score dropped down to a 67 this morning. I am not surprised because I got into the apartment very late last night, and after greeting Her Royal Floofness I did some unpacking (I wanted to make sure that all of my cigars were properly stored in my humidor), and then did not really get to sleep until 1:30am or so. Despite that I did not sleep in… I was awake around 7:15am as usual, and probably tumbled out of bed around 7:30am. I dove into my usual morning routine, including taking the Princess for her walk, and the day went from there. Hopefully I will sleep better this evening… we’ll see.

    I am auditing a class this week that is set in the Pacific time zone which means I’ll be learning from noon until 8:30pm… a bit of an offset from the norm, but not terrible. I will not be adjusting my wake/sleep schedule at all, but I will adjust my eating as necessary. It is now 1:30pm and I just had my lunch… which for the first time in a long time consisted of a meal replacement shake. Yes, per what I wrote several hours ago in the previous paragraph, I added fibre to it. I will be preparing a full meal for dinner, which I will prepare for the mid-class break (around 3:00pm local time). I will likely have another meal replacement after class (around 8:30pm) but that is all I plan to eat today.

    I went shopping this morning and despite all of the temptations I was true to my plans… I bought milk (despite the expiry date the milk in my fridge had turned), eggs, and vegetables for salad. Nothing more. I was tempted by so many things… and bought none of them. It is a small victory because I will have to do this again and again every time I shop. I know that sometimes I will fail, but I will try to succeed more often. As a simple example, I looked at the bakery section… and walked by. Yes, I like to have a fresh roll with my breakfast, but I was strong and did not buy them… today. I will have to continue to be strong.

    I suppose I should be paying closer attention to my class so I will close here. See you all tomorrow folks!

  • Day 940

    I do not know why I was so hungry last night. Once again, I ate more thank I should have… but still within the parameters of what I had been doing the whole week. I was again afraid that my weight would be up this morning… especially since it is now a few days since I have had a half-decent bowel movement. In fact, my weight dropped another .4 lbs., bringing my weight loss since Sunday to nine pounds. That is nothing to sneeze at indeed, but I have to find a way to keep it going. The mental and emotional side of weight loss is the hardest part.

    Last night I was out after my class to pick up dog food and treats for Her Royal Floofness, and I briefly considered stopping into Fortinos to pick up a challah roll for Shabbat. I decided not to, and I think that is the reason my weight was down this morning. It is bad enough that I am not able to stick to only eating meal replacements in the evening, but if I were to add carbs and starches into my diet I know the results would be disastrous.

    Will I be able to get out to exercise today? I might try. The afternoon forecast is rain, so I would have to get out earlier. I have a couple of errands I need to run, so maybe I will go out in a few minutes and then do some work in the afternoon.

    Have a great day folks!