Losing a part of me

Category: Work

Day 505

I am really not impressed with the numbers on the bathroom scale this morning. My weight has crept up all week, but this morning it shot up by another 2 lbs. which is really starting to upset me. I have been eating breakfast cereal these last few days (which has really helped me with my bowel movements), and that is the only significant change. I am going to cut it out as of this weekend and do my best to get back on track. I know that when I am on the plateaus I will go up a bit, especially when I am not exercising… but I have to find a way for it to not go up this badly. I am still healthy, feeling good, and looking just as good in my clothes as I was a month ago (I think), but the numbers are bothering me.

As I expected, this morning is a relatively easy one. My students are taking their exam. After they are all done, we will spend some time reviewing it, after which time the students who did not pass will be allowed to retake it. I am giving the rest of them the opportunity to work on labs, as well as practice exams… there is a huge difference between the assessments written by the training centre and the certification exams they will have to take for industry accreditation. We will review some of those questions as well, after which the class will be finished at 1:00pm. I will have lunch, and then at 2:00pm Eduardo is coming over for computer help and a cigar. I expect the first part will only take a few minutes, and the second will take most of our afternoon. I am going to the supermarket to pick up a challah roll for this evening. Leslie and I will be together for the next two Sabbaths, but tonight we are on video chat for one more candle lighting. It is amazing to think that she will be here in two days. I can hardly wait!

I slept well last night for the first time in almost a week. I suspect it had to do with the clean sheets and tightly made bed. I will pay closer attention to that going forward. I know how important it is to my weight loss, as well as to my overall physical and mental well-being, to get a good night’s sleep. If clean sheets is the answer, then I will not hesitate to change them weekly if needed.

The spring weather reminded me this morning that summer is not quite upon us yet… and that we are in Canada. Princess Sophie did not seem to mind the light drizzle as we walked this morning, but it was there. The forecast calls for rain all morning, followed by a cloudy afternoon and evening. It should be comfortable cigar smoking weather indeed.

One more thing that I intend to do today, while I am already going to the supermarket, is to take some of my shirts to the dry cleaners. I am certainly saving a lot of money by wearing undershirts and hanging them neatly immediately after I take them off, but that does not mean that they never need to be cleaned. I suspect I will not have them back until Wednesday, so I will not take them all in. Even with that, knowing my schedule for next week I will have to pick them up before class starts. I do not like to schedule errands for the morning, but there it is.

Have a great day folks!

June 9, 2023
Day 504

Just as happened the previous evening, I stepped onto the bathroom scale and saw a shocking number. Unlike the previous, it did not all disappear the next morning. I am, once again, within a couple of ounces of the 260 lbs. mark. I am not happy with myself; I know I have to do a better job today than I have these last few days, or else I am going to slide back into old habits. That would result in the eventual catastrophe of losing all of the progress that I have made.

All is not lost. I know that over the last year and a half I have had several plateaus. They have been breaks from the rigidity of an extreme program which cannot be sustained long term. There have been a few of them, and I have always managed to get back on track. I will stay aware and stay mindful, and I will not give up. It is only when I start to let go that I really start to lose.

This morning’s class is very relaxed… at least, it is for me. I got through almost all of the lectures by end of day yesterday, so this morning I only had one topic to cover. With that said, the students have a lot of labs that they have to get through, which is what they are doing this morning. The two students who have completed the labs are working on practice exams. All said, the class is ready for tomorrow’s end-of-class assessment test. I can do a little bit of work on my own stuff this morning when I am not answering student questions. After lunch I will pick Kerry up from the train station, and she will be here for a few hours. My evening class will not be quite so relaxed… but it is one of the classes I do not fret about. Unlike yesterday, I am not counting the minutes until my class is over tonight… although I do intend to have another cigar date with my wife when it does!

While it was not reflected on the bathroom scale this morning, I made it through yesterday mostly unscathed. Truly I cannot understand how my weight jumped a full two pounds this morning, but I am sure that if I stay on track then it will get back down tomorrow. I just have to stay focused. I did run all of my errands yesterday, and somewhere along the way I realized I had lost my glasses. I was able to retrace my steps, and finally found them at the service desk of the supermarket. Phew! While I love my other pair of glasses, they are scratched up and waiting for the new lenses to come in (which is another ordeal which I will not spend time on). I would have worn those had these gone missing, but I am glad I got them back.

I have not been sleeping well these last few nights. I strongly suspect that is because my linens were dirty, as well as not tight (which happens when I have had not changed them in three weeks). I stripped the bed this morning and put them into the laundry. This evening I should have an answer to whether or not that was my issue. If not… then it is likely because I hate sleeping alone, and Leslie will be here in three days to solve that issue… at least for a couple of weeks.

Have a great day folks!

June 8, 2023
Day 503

Was yesterday a complete success? It was not. Was it a failure? No. In the balance, while I cheated (I had a couple of bowls of cereal in the afternoon) I still stayed mostly on track, eating nothing after 5:15pm. The result: I was down one pound on the bathroom scale this morning. I will take that as a victory. It has to be a one-day-at-a-time strategy, and I have to be willing to accept that there is a lot of ground between the absolutes of success and failure.

As I expected, my friend’s computer problem was not really a problem. He came over around 2:15pm, and we were smoking cigars on the balcony by 2:30pm. I am glad I was able to help him… even though I did not actually do anything this time. I did, however, upgrade his computer so that it will be easier for me to keep an eye on the health of his computer going forward. With that said, I did all of that while sitting on the balcony and smoking cigars.

This afternoon I have a lot going on between my classes. I have a meeting with an old business colleague at Tim Hortons, and then I have an introductory call with a head-hunter who thinks he might have a job for me. I am always happy to take those calls… even though they seldom lead to anything, and I am quite comfortable teaching until my visa status changes. After class this evening I have a very important date. Today is my wife’s birthday. It is her first birthday since we are married (the anniversary of our civil ceremony is June 24^th). I am hoping that it will be her last birthday that she has to celebrate alone. By next year I am praying that my visa will be approved, and that we will be living together so that we can celebrate together. While she is coming to Canada this weekend, her visit does not touch either of our birthdays, missing hers by four days and mine by eleven. Last year she was in Canada to celebrate my fiftieth with me. It just could not work out for either of us to travel for either of our birthdays this year. Next year… well, we are maintaining our posture of cautiously optimistic.

I know what you might be thinking. I have an appointment at Tim Hortons… am I going to be tempted to cheat? The simple answer is that while I do like a nice doughnut or Timbit, I do not consider them temptations. It will be easy for me to order a cup of coffee and avoid the baked goods. It would be easy even if I was not planning to eat lunch before going, but I am… so it will not be a problem. The bigger temptation is usually walking through the supermarket. I went yesterday to buy vegetables, but I only realized when I got home that I am nearly out of milk. Drat, I have to go back today.

When I wrote yesterday that I might be able to jog tomorrow afternoon I forgot that I have my cleaning lady coming, which means that will not be an option. Friday and Saturday are still on the table, and I will make sure to get at least one workout in before the big day when I drive to the airport on Sunday!

Have a great day folks!

June 7, 2023
Day 501

I ate more than I should have yesterday, and I paid the price for it on the bathroom scale this morning. Not only did I eat too much, I also ate too late. I have to stop doing that. I do not know what possessed me at 7:15pm to decide to make myself a plate of spaghetti. I did, and boom! I will do better today.

My office area is completely transformed, and I am absolutely thrilled! I have everything set up exactly the way I want. The only decision I was on the fence about was whether to set up my primary desk as the one against the wall, or the other one which is perpendicular to it. The downside of choosing that one (which I did) is that the back of the desk, with exposed cables and monitors, faces the kitchen. I decided that was a better option than the alternative, which would have had my cameras facing both my bedroom and the bathroom. I have tried to be ever vigilant when I work from that desk to keep both of those doors closed when I was on camera, but I have occasionally forgotten. I have also remembered to turn off the camera when going to the bathroom, which is none of my students’ business. I have never forgotten to close the door while actually using the bathroom, but going in and out can be delicate. Now the only thing that I am missing is a cable long enough to plug my main laptop into my managed switch… Yes, I really have one of those.

(I should mention that another disadvantage to choosing the other desk would have been needing to adjust the top shelves, which need to be screwed and unscrewed carefully. One more disadvantage would have been that while the backs of monitors and cables face the kitchen now, the alternative would have been having two full shelves of books facing the kitchen, which I thought was a worse alternative. G-d forbid my sink explodes, I would have to replace a monitor or two. Some of those books are irreplaceable, dating to the 1890s.)

My productive day yesterday did not stop when I was finished organizing my office. I broke down all of the boxes that I have had accumulating the last month and took them to the recycling. I took all of my luggage (which has been sitting in the corner of my room since I was getting ready to go to Dallas) down to my locker. I also pulled out the tools and fixed the handle on my front door, which was loose and ready to come off in my hand at any moment. I admit that I was not so sure about how that one would go, and if I might not need to enlist the services of a handyman for it. I used to be pretty handy, but it has been a very long time since I have tried to do anything like that. I felt a great sense of accomplishment when it was done… and properly done at that. I hung up the half-dozen or so jackets and vests that were draped over chairs and couches. I folded the outstanding laundry (although now that I think of it, I suspect I have another load in the dryer that I will need to address today). I even put a broken chair into the car and took it to a dumpster (that I am not technically supposed to use). I took most of my martial arts weapons and put them into my Taekwondo sparring bag (not the one I would take to class today) and put that in the storage locker as well. After a very productive Sunday, my apartment is more organized than it has been in a very long time.

At the end of my nearly seven hours of productive work, I should not have rewarded myself with a plate of pasta after my cut-off time. I will have to remember that. The simple equation is that when I am mindful, I lose weight, and when I am not then I do not. Really, Mitch… this is not Rocket Science. Stop doing stupid things like that!

It is going to be a lovely day today, and I would like to take full advantage of that… but alas, my schedule will not permit me to. After class I will prepare my lunch, and then I have a meeting with my cousin who wants help with her IT environment. After that, I will take Her Royal Floofness for a long walk and I will time it so that I can be back in time to set up my environment on the balcony for this evening’s cigar class. It will be busy, but I am excited by just about everything I have on my list for the day. I am even excited to discuss software troubleshooting with my students for the next four hours.

I will stay mindful, and I will get through the day… and tomorrow morning the numbers on the bathroom scale will be better than they were today.

Have a great day folks!

June 5, 2023
Day 500

Five Hundred Days. I cannot believe that this journey has taken me thus far. I am disappointed that I have not done better; I am overjoyed that I have done as well as I have. Yes, I would like to have gotten to where I want to be – completely slim – but I am not unhappy with what I look like and feel like now. I will continue to try to improve, albeit less drastically.

I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning and had not gained, nor had I lost any ground. After the last few days of weight gain (and nearly six days without a bowel movement) I am hoping that the combination of a good movement last night and kerbing my eating a little will reverse that trend. I should also mention that this morning I have had two extremely productive movements – one before and one after I weighed myself. They were not exactly easy, but they were not as difficult or as painful as the last few attempts were. I am relieved that my insides seem to have turned a corner. Literally relived.

My main goal for today is to organize and clean my office area. I am going to try to bring a large measure of ergonomics and Zen to my workspace so that I can make my life more efficient. That will involve a lot of work that I have been putting off for a few weeks (I have had the words Clean My Desks on a Post-It note almost since I returned from Dallas) but I think today is the day. I also know that my cleaning lady is coming on Thursday, so getting it done prior to that means that she will not need to work around my clutter.

In precisely one week I will be getting ready to drive to the airport to pick Leslie up, and I could not be more excited. I hate that we are not together always, but I also know that the wheels of government bureaucracy turn slowly, and that eventually we will be able to live together forever. Until then, these periods apart are just the commercial breaks between our wonderful times together.

Of course, after my work in the office (really a ten-foot square corner of my living room) I will likely relax on the balcony with a book (or two) and a cigar (or three). It is a lovely day, and while a lot of friends would love to see me, I think my original plans to rest and recuperate this weekend are the right way to go. Starting tomorrow I have five long days ahead of me, and I will not have the opportunity to have a completely restful day until Saturday… and Sunday Leslie is coming!

I have a lot of work to get done if I plan to organize and modernize my workspace, so I am going to start on that. I have looked at this corner many times these last couple of weeks and been daunted every time. I simply have to go at it and not let myself get overwhelmed. The more progress I make, the less daunting it will be. I hope to not do a half-job, because if I say to myself, ‘Look how much I’ve done! That’s enough for today, I’ll finish up later…’ then I know that it will be the end of it. I do not want that to happen.

Something I have to start doing as I get through this is throwing things out. There are a lot of things around that might one day be useful… or not. If there is a slight possibility that I might need a ten dollar item in the future, but there is a reality now that it is contributing to my sometimes overwhelming clutter, then it will go into the garbage. If it has significant value, then I will list it for sale. However none of it is staying mixed with my production workspace or storage – it will go near the door so that when someone wants to buy it, I’ll sell it… or if nobody wants to buy it then I can donate or throw it out. It is time to eliminate clutter.

Oh right… and I plan to eat well today. No overdoing it! I cannot believe how long it took me to put together that the rice I have been eating with my protein has contributed to my constipation! Today I will eat chicken with salad… and that’s it. I will also be done eating by 4:00pm.

Have a great day!

June 4, 2023
Day 498

It is now five days since I have moved my bowels and I am starting to get concerned. I know that I have been eating so the waste is accumulating inside me. I am just glad that it is not causing me any serious discomfort yet. I will keep hoping that at some point today I will finally feel the urge to go and succeed. I also hope that when that happens it will not be too painful.

As my body is currently storing a lot of waste it cannot come as any surprise that my weight is up again this morning. It is not a terrible rise, but it is up. I know if I stay on track this will pass, but I just hope it comes soon.

My plans for the day are simple. It is a busy day, but different from the last few. I will have the evening off, but my afternoon is busy. After my morning class (which ends at 2:00pm) I will be taking Her Royal Floofness to the doggie spa for her hair and nails appointment. I will come home to record a webinar with one of the training centres that I work for. I was worried about that until I finished creating the content last night. Now I am just looking forward to having it behind me so that I can enjoy my weekend.

We have been under a heat warning most of the week, but that is not why I have not been jogging. It is a coincidence that tomorrow the heat is forecast to break, and I might finally have the opportunity to get out for the first time in a couple of weeks. I have to start getting active again.

Have a great day folks!

June 2, 2023
Day 496

I stuck to the plan yesterday, except that I accidentally made too much rice with my chicken. I have to remember to measure it out, and for some reason I was not paying attention and I just free poured. It could have been worse… I was probably a quarter of a cup too heavy on my pour.

I was once again worried as I got into bed last night. Before I lay down, I stepped onto the bathroom scale. Of course the evening reading is discarded, but it usually gives me a good indication of what my weight will be in the morning. I can usually expect a drop of two pounds from 11pm to 7am. When I saw that my weight last night was a full 3.6 lbs. heavier than it had been in the morning, I got concerned that I would be gaining weight today. I might have to rethink my plans if that was the case… even if I did eat too much rice. It turns out that I worried needlessly. This morning I actually dropped .2 lb. from yesterday morning. I suspect the reintroduction of starch into my diet is having an effect on things, and the fluctuations over the course of the day are going to be less predictable. As long as I continue to lose weight from morning to morning then I am less concerned with that than I might have been.

I am trying to remember if today is the second or third straight day that I have not had a successful bowel movement. While not yet worrying, this is certainly surprising as I have reintroduced a proper meal (and some days two) into my diet. I will have to pay attention to this over the next few days to see when I finally do, and if that becomes regular. I suspect that my next attempt might be painful, and in anticipation of that I decided to take a teaspoon of fibre powder this morning. I do not want to get so backed up that it gets uncomfortable and scary.

My plans for the day are to do exactly what I have been doing these last few days. I will have lunch after my class, and that will be my only meal of the day. I will probably go shopping in the afternoon because I will be out of chicken, and also need some vegetables. I will not be tempted to cheat, and the best way to make sure I stay on track is to ensure that I have the proper stocks to prepare my meals in a timely fashion. I will not be straying from my path. I also need to return a couple of packages to Amazon, which I will try to do this afternoon as well.

Today is Her Royal Floofness, Princess Sophie’s birthday! I took her for a very nice walk this morning, and she got to see some of her friends. We have treats that are usually reserved for the Sabbath, but she got one of those (and an extra cookie) this morning. She deserves to celebrate. Over the next few weeks there will be a few occasions that she and I will mark, including the day we met, the day I picked her up from her foster family, and the day I finalized her adoption. She has been my faithful friend these last four years, and I do not begrudge her the extra treats to celebrate. She will be getting a few of those this month.

I am still reeling over a negative evaluation I got from a student from a course a couple of weeks ago. I finally read the full review this morning. It is clear to me that this student felt I was the worst instructor she has ever experienced… and was saying that the rest of the students felt the same way. On the one hand, I know that I am pretty good at what I do. On the other hand, a single really negative evaluation can cause a company to not hire me again. I am hoping that is not the case here, but I am going to make sure as I go forward that I do what I can to improve on some of the criticism she gave. On the other hand, she said that I said something that I know that I would never say to a class. I have no idea what she heard that makes her think that I said it, or if she heard it from another instructor and projected it onto me. Either way, it might be damaging, and I am hoping that it is a one-off and that the organization does not hold it against me. I am still certain they will keep an eye on me though… sort of like probation. It is a stress that I wish I did not have to worry about.

In any event, it is time for me to get back to my day. I will stay focused and will not let any of this drag me off course. I need to succeed, and I will succeed.

Have a great day folks!

May 31, 2023
Day 449
I cheated again yesterday. After a 5km jog I came home, showered, and headed out to my dentist appointment. As I was preparing to leave, I noticed it was 12:45pm, so I still had thirty minutes before I would be ready for my second meal replacement of the day. What I did not take into consideration is that I would likely not be home before 3:00pm. I bought a handful of peanuts at Bulk Barn to tide me over. Aside from that, I was true to the program; I was hungry in the afternoon (despite the handful of peanuts and my (late) midday meal replacement), but instead of eating more, I sat outside with a cigar. There are a lot of temptations in this world, and it would be so easy for me to just walk to the corner to pick up a snack. I am staying the course because I am on a mission to be slim!

My intention from the outset was to take it easier than I have been these last couple of days. I had a short timeframe in which to run, and I did not want to be late for my dentist appointment. As well, I woke up with jelly legs yesterday morning. I know that I can only push myself so hard before I risk hurting myself, and I do not want that. I felt that a 5km run would do just fine… and I stopped off at the pharmacy to pick up my prescription.

Jogging
- Distance: 502km (12.02km)
- Duration: 39:00 (1:36:17)
- Average Pace (Min/km): 7m45s (8m00s)
- Steps: 6,100 (14,350)
- Calories burned: 653 (1,534)
- Average cadence (steps per minute): 156 (149)
I admit I am a bit relieved that my doctor told me that I can continue on the full program for a couple more months. I suspect that if I had to, I could start eating proper foods again, and still lose weight gradually. I think I have learned the lessons I need to learn, and bags of chips on airplanes notwithstanding, I think that for the first time in my life I now have the skills to diet. With that said, I would love to get as close to my next few goals as possible before returning to that path. I suspect that the next few months will look like this:
- I will stay on the full-fast for the next two weeks until I fly to Dallas. I will go off the program almost entirely for the first half of my trip, which will include one day in Dallas and four days in California, during which Leslie and I are celebrating our Jewish wedding together… not a good time to be dieting. If I can drop to 245 lbs. by April 27, I will be quite thrilled. Anything below 250 lbs. will still be a success.
- Upon my return to Canada (Sunday, May 7) I will resume the full-fast program the following morning and will stay true to it throughout the month of May.
- That first week that I am back in Canada I will drive into Scarborough one last time to pick up one last case of the meal replacements.
- Starting the beginning of June, I will begin my transition off the program and onto regular (but mindful) foods. Throughout the month of June, I will follow a partial program. I should mention that there is a good chance that my wife will be visiting me in Canada some time that month, which would be a very good time to not be on the full-fast program anyways.
- It is my hope that on or around July 1^st, I will be off the program. I might, if I have meal replacements left, continue to use them for breakfast. However, by my birthday I would like to be completely done with the program. (Leslie and I discussed today that it might be nice to spend my birthday with her in Dallas, and I am giving serious thought to that)
How much will I weigh by then? I don’t know. July 1 is a little over 2.5 months from now, and it would not be unheard of for me to lose nearly thirty pounds in that time… especially if I keep up my jogging. As of this morning, I am about 23 lbs. from dropping out of Obesity Class I and into the Overweight classification. If I can accomplish that by then, I will be declaring victory. That is not to say that I will not try to continue losing weight and getting back into shape, but once I am there, then I will not be using meal replacements, only traditional healthy eating.

Today is the third day in a row without a successful bowel movement, at least in the morning. I am hoping that at some point during the day I will finally feel the need. In the meantime, I was thrilled to see that while I am still just shy of my best weight ever from Day 436, the bathroom scale reported my weight at my previous best weight ever this morning. It took me ten days to gain nine pounds; it has taken only four days to shed 8.8 pounds. As I discussed with Leslie yesterday, I truly feel that had I eaten exactly as I had eaten in Dallas but had not completely stopped jogging, then I would not have gained nearly as much as I did. Lesson learned. Whether it will be 5km or 15km, we agree that I should try to jog daily going forward, especially when I do start the transition off of the program. In the meantime, while it is unlikely that I will maintain this rate of loss, if I were to lose 3.5 lbs. per week, by my birthday I would weigh just under 214 lbs.… a number that I am reasonably certain I did not weigh even in the Army. It is important to realize that I was a lot more muscular then than I am now, and I doubt I would ever be that buff again. In fact, I am not even trying for buff… I am trying for slim.

Today is Thursday, and if I stay focused and mindful, and if I get in a good jog, then there is a very good chance that tomorrow morning I will achieve a new best weight ever. As the Hebrew folk song says, if it is not tomorrow, then the following day. Trust me, it is more melodic in Hebrew. You can listen to it at this link if you feel like it.

I have some important phone calls to make today, and I also have to finish putting together my slides and script for tomorrow’s webinar on cybersecurity threat detection. As much as I was looking forward to my session last week, this week’s session does not hold the same allure for me. No matter, it has to get done. I have a focus group at 1:00pm which I need to attend, and later in the afternoon a buddy is tentatively coming over to smoke cigars. It will be nice to see him – it has been too long. If all goes well, the first part of the evening I will be at Taekwondo, followed by another lovely cigar date with my wife. We are now two weeks from my next trip down there, and we are both eager… and it is nice that this time we do not have to wait quite so long between visits. Admittedly, the wait between the end of my previous visit and the last one was shorter, but that was an unplanned and unexpected bonus. This time, when she and her son dropped me at the airport on Sunday, we knew that the goodbye was for fewer than twenty days. It is easier than some of our partings have been, especially the ones when we did not know how long it would be… or when we knew it was 6-8 weeks.

My plan for the day is to stay the course. I have been doing so well, and with my doctor’s blessing yesterday I see no reason to change anything. I will try to avoid the need to stop off for peanuts today (as I have done now two days in a row), but if I do need to snack then I will do so mindfully (as I did yesterday, with my total bill from Bulk Bark coming to $0.83, taxes included). When I finish this journal entry, I will go for a jog. Once again, I am not going to try to push myself too hard or too far, but I will probably shoot for 8-10km. —

My hopes were answered! When I finished writing that last paragraph, I was able to move my bowels, and am feeling much better for it. I will not step back onto the scale, but it might have made a difference. That difference will wait for tomorrow morning’s daily encounter with the bathroom scale! In the meantime, my previous thoughts about taking fibre can be shelved for the time being.

Okay, let’s get moving. Today will be a busy day; following a couple of phone calls, it will start with a jog, then a few hours of work.

Have a great day folks!
April 13, 2023
Day 444

Despite my second unproductive morning in a row, it was such a sight to see when I stepped onto the bathroom scale to discover that my weight has, once again, dropped below 260 lbs., if only by a tiny fraction. Yesterday, my weight was back down to match my best weight from 2020, so this morning I dropped below that once again, hopefully for the last time. Once I am back home, I will be able to resume my exercise regimen, which even if I were to maintain my current eating (that is, not back on the meal replacements at all), would likely see me losing more weight. For now, I am hoping that when I step onto the scale at the doctor’s office on Wednesday that I weigh slightly less than I did at my previous weigh-in there. This morning I am still one pound heavier than I was that morning on my bathroom scale, so I as long as I am able to stay on track, I should be able to lose more than that between now and then.

My diet these last couple of days has essentially consisted of chicken and matzah, and whatever I might put on the matzah (which alternates between margarine with jam and charoset with horseradish). I also had a really large iced tea yesterday which was really tasty but has 226 calories and a whopping 60g of sugar. It is a wonderful treat, but I have to remember that it should be only that… an occasional treat. I might think about cutting down to a smaller size in future, but with the extreme heat of the Texas summer ahead, I might stick with the large size which does help with hydration.

This afternoon we are going to see a movie, which under normal circumstances would be a terrible temptation for me. During Passover I am not allowed to eat popcorn (with or without butter) so there is a good chance that I will not have any snacks and will get through that unscathed. I will have lunch before we go, which will, once again, consist of leftover chicken (which really is so tasty!) that needs to be finished before I leave tomorrow evening. There are some people who, like me, will continue to enjoy the same leftover meal for days on end. Others cannot do that, so I know that whatever I do not eat will probably go into the garbage. Leslie and her son have been eating whatever they will eat – neither of them are Jewish, so the rules of Kashrut do not apply to them – and it has not bothered me one bit. Leslie did mention that they were trying to be respectful around me, but I assured her that I am not in the least bit bothered by whatever they might be eating. As for them not wanting to eat the leftovers… that just means more yummy chicken for me!

There is also enough charoset left over to choke a horse… I do not know if Leslie will eat any of it once I go home, but I know that I cannot take it with me, so I am enjoying it (in moderation) until I go. I never understood why Jews only make charoset for the Passover Seder… it is so delicious, and there is nothing to stop us from making it all year round? The point is that we don’t, and that’s life. I do know that I would not want to have the sweet kosher wine in the house… it is not something that regular people would choose to drink but is necessary for making the tasty charoset (which is meant to be symbolic of the mortar that the enslaved Israelites made in Egypt).

The plan for today is to stay on track… I will be mindful, and even though we might be eating dinner out, Leslie and I have already discussed a restaurant option where I can eat without violating my religious dietary requirements. It will be a different chicken meal, which does not bother me at all… I can eat chicken every day of the week and not get bored with it. I will not snack at the movies, and I will stay mindful should we take the boy somewhere there might be temptations. One thing I am going to have to start remembering is that when I exercise, I can take greater liberties with my eating than on days when I do not. My last ‘exercise’ was when I walked home from the lounge a week ago today, and while the walk was a respectable 6.25km, I did it in sandals which means I was not exerting myself like I would when powerwalking. I also did my foot with the blisters, which kept me from running the next few days. Yes, my foot has been healed for a couple of days, but my work schedule prevented me from getting out.

I should mention that yesterday I recorded my session on Securing the Internet of Things, which I spent a lot of time working on this past week. I think it went really well and am looking forward to seeing the final post-production product, which is being released in a couple of weeks. This week I have to prepare another session, which will be recorded Friday. It is on another cybersecurity topic which I will have to spend some time looking at and putting together. I know what I am going to say, but I need to organize my thoughts into slides, and then write up a script for it. It is funny that I spend so much more time preparing for a 40-minute session than I ever do for an 8-hour class… the difference between being watched and being recorded!

I am not excited to be returning to Canada tomorrow, but life must go on until we get our paperwork settled. It will come, we just have to be patient. For now, at least I have one more night with my lovely wife.

Have a great day folks!

April 8, 2023
Day 425

As she drove me to the airport yesterday morning, Leslie expressed her regret that we had gone out for a splurge dinner the previous evening, thus erasing all progress that I made on my weight loss journey while in Dallas. I told her the following:

a) There was no reason to regret it; we had a wonderful evening (despite whatever effects the meal would take on our stomachs before the night’s end).

b) It is my experience that the weight-gain effects of a single cheat meal that causes such an overnight weight gain will usually be very temporary, and it was possible or even likely that most or all of the gain would be lost again over the next day or two.

c) Even with that cheat, I was still down a full pound from the day that I flew into Dallas.

I had a very good bowel movement after I unpacked my suitcase, which was a relief for two reasons. I had worried since the previous evening that the unrest in my stomach would eventually lead to a more unpleasant experience on the porcelain throne. That was followed this morning by another one, which gave me hope that I was right, and that the weight gained Saturday night into Sunday would start to drop off this morning… despite the fact that I had a can of Pringles and a bag of almonds on the airplane. No, it was not the large can… it was the individual size, which is a huge improvement over what I likely would have done just a few short months ago. When I got back to the apartment, I thought briefly about resuming my full-fast program this morning, but then thought better of it; the only calories I consumed last night were two meal replacement shakes, which was exactly the right thing to do… especially if I was hoping to resume losing weight as of this morning.

I had a bit of a technical issue with my bathroom scale and the app this morning. Before getting dressed I weighed myself (as is my habit). I was thrilled to see that not only was my weight down, but it was significantly down. I mean, it was slightly lower than my previous best from Saturday morning! Woohoo! I got dressed, I took Her Floofness for a walk (the first one we took since I got home). After feeding her, I made coffee and prepared my shake. Sitting down at my computer, I realized I had not worked on this system since before Patch Tuesday, and so it was going to reboot for me. I decided to fiddle around with the app on my phone; after nearly three years of using it, I noticed a couple of features on it this weekend that I wanted to try. The unfortunate result was that I accidentally wiped out this morning’s weigh-in. Damn. Well, I had only had one sip of my coffee, so it was not too late to weigh myself again. I got undressed and did just that, nervously hoping that I had not imagined it, or that I had somehow gained two pounds in thirty minutes.

265.0 lbs.

Wow. Not only had I not imagined it, but somehow along the way, in fewer than 1000 steps with Princess Sophie, my weight had dropped another .4 lb., putting me at the threshold, and achieving a new milestone. I have now lost one hundred and thirty pounds. My Body Mass Index (BMI) dropped to an even 34.0. According to the scale and app (which granted might not be the most accurate to measure these), my body fat percentage is now 30.3% (down from a high of over 40%) and my Basal Metabolic Rate is 2,076 (down from a high of nearly 3,000). As a much shorter-term win, that puts me 3.8 lbs. lower than I was the morning I flew to Dallas, besting my previously stated (albeit pessimistic) goal of gaining 2 lbs. by nearly six pounds! I am thrilled, and I know Leslie will be too.

While the forecast high today gets up to 5°, it is also predicted to be quite windy. As such, I think it will be a perfect opportunity for me to go to the gym. An hour on the treadmill followed by fifteen minutes in the sauna sounds like a good way to spend a couple of hours. I am teaching this evening so I might spend a few minutes reviewing my material. Tomorrow I am hoping to drive into Toronto to pick up meal replacements… I got a notification that the clinic where I buy them is closed for the next month, but the nurse told me that she would meet me before she actually goes on vacation to make sure I have the proper supplies. Otherwise, I would not need to go into town for another week and a half. Oh well, whether I go tomorrow or next week is not really a big difference. I just hope that I can get either the gym or an outdoor jog in tomorrow – my cleaning lady (who has not been since mid-February) is coming in the afternoon, so I have to plan things properly.

I am happy that I am getting back into that mindset of trying to make sure I can get my run or walk or whatever exercise into my schedule on a mostly regular basis. Previously it was one of those things that I would do, but it was not something I necessarily planned and was eager for. Now, especially since I am back into the mode of competing with myself, I feel the excitement of getting back at it as often as I can. When I head to the gym today, I will be doing my inaugural workout with my new fitness watch, a present from my lovely and doting wife. It arrived Friday afternoon after I was back from my workout, and I did not get out over the weekend. I am looking forward to seeing how it fares. My initial disappointment in realizing that it is not a touch screen has been turned around, remembering the issues I so often had with the touch screen on my previous fitness watch, especially in wet weather or when my hands were sweaty. It will take some getting used to with the buttons, but as I mentioned to Leslie yesterday (or Saturday?) I was still not entirely used to the functions on the previous watch. I will pay closer attention on this one, and hopefully I will not be saying the same thing in 3.5 years.

Princess Sophie decided to go to the neighbour’s today to spend the day playing with her pal Charlie, so it is relatively quiet here for now. I suppose it is as good a time as any to get ready and go to the gym. I have a few emails I need to respond to first, but hopefully by 11:00am I can head out.

My plan for the day is to stay mindful and to stay on track. Today is my first day back on the full-fast program, and as Leslie reminded me yesterday, there is the possibility that might put me into a bit of a mood. If I am, I will do my best to make sure that I do not show it or take it out on anyone. I do not know if the endorphins from working out might counterbalance that, but I will try to pay attention and see if I notice a difference. Leslie told me yesterday that she did not notice a huge difference the last time I came back to Canada and resumed the full fast, but that I had told her I felt it. Wouldn’t it be great if I do not feel it at all this time? If I can get through the day on meal replacements (and coffee) only, and not feel any negative effects… that would be great! Of course, I am teaching this evening, so if I need the extra caffeine to get through that, I will not hesitate. I do not want anyone to feel the negative effects of my mood, but if it affects my work then that is especially bad.

Today is the 14-month anniversary of my weight loss journey, so how perfect that I can celebrate it by hitting a new best-weight-yet, a couple of new milestone (at the 265 threshold, plus the 130-pounds-lost mark), and a new fitness watch to inaugurate with a great workout… possibly even a new record for distance? Time? Pace? Who knows? As always, I will follow the advice of my doctor… I will listen to my body and let pain guide me. If I feel the need to stop, I will. Otherwise, who knows how far I might jog?

Have a great day folks!

March 20, 2023