Losing a part of me

Blog

  • Day 902

    It was all that I could do to not cry as I dropped Leslie off at the airport this morning. We got up as usual, so after my morning rituals I took Her Royal Floofness out for a very short walk… as I suspected it would be as soon as I realized that it was or had been raining. Let me be perfectly clear, I would have taken her on her usual 1.5km circuit of the park; my dog just does not like the wet. Anyhow, we came back into the apartment and Leslie was finishing up her packing. I made a half pot of coffee, knowing that we would be having breakfast out, but that after breakfast I would be in the car for 90 minutes to and from the airport.

    I was pleasantly surprised to discover that even after yesterday’s sushi meal (followed by a decadent piece of chocolate cake) my weight was still down a bit this morning. That means that even with the jump in weight from my birthday celebration, my weight is still lower than it was on any day since Leslie arrived… and since June 30. Yay!

    Our final morning together of this trip was mostly subdued. We were both sad that she has to fly back to Dallas today, so we were not happy and joyous. We are going to miss each other terribly… and I am going to have to find a way to plan a trip down to Dallas sometime next month.

    I was hoping that my buddy Mitchell would come over in the afternoon for a cigar and to discuss some of my emotional issues, but he had to cancel. Okay, I’ll just make it through the day. After lunch I have a meeting about a project I am working on, and then after that I would like to record a video for my class’s graduation which is two weeks from today. That means that I will be dressing up fancy… but I do not want to wear the same outfit for the video as I will for the class. I’ll have to make a wardrobe change in between.

    Other than that, I have some studying to do for an exam I am sitting this weekend, and I hope to be able to read a little from my book. Yes, it is that time of year again, when my favourite living fiction author releases his new novel. I downloaded it onto my eBook reader on Wednesday, and while Leslie worked yesterday afternoon, I read the first few chapters. That will accompany my cigar after my meeting today.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 901

    My weight dropped almost half a pound this morning. This despite not having any success on the throne this morning, and after Leslie and I ate a delicious but very large piece of fish with a couple of egg rolls for dinner… at 9:10pm. I have hope that within a day or two I might drop to my pre-Canada Day Fireworks Trauma weight, and a few days later I will get down below 280 lbs. again.

    Today is Leslie’s last full day here, and that makes me sad. I know I have to appreciate what time we do have (and I do), but we really do not have enough of it. One week every couple of months is no way to maintain a healthy relationship. I try to show a brave and strong face for her, but it kills me inside when I have to drop her off at the airport.

    Last week we were at Costco and I saw that they have on sale a Ninja appliance that includes the functionality of my old Ninja blender, plus a food processor and a pitcher, with all of the different blades to make all sorts of goodies… including healthy ones. As I was waiting for a cheque to come in, I decided to hold off. That cheque arrived over the weekend, and so yesterday we went back to Costco to pick it up. We then went to the supermarket to get the necessary ingredients to make our first masterpiece, and when we got home, we did it. Yes, I am now one of those people who buys a fancy kitchen appliance, and the first thing I did with it was make dog-friendly ice cream treats for Princess Sophie. While they are perfectly human-friendly (peanut butter, yogurt, and bananas), I froze them and let Her Floofness know that they are special treats just for her. (I did lick my fingers… yum!)

    I will make lunch for us today, and then for dinner we will go for sushi. That has been the plan since before Leslie even arrived. I was hoping that we could enjoy another bottle of ice wine with our post-dinner cigar, but the Liquor Control Board of Ontario is on strike, so the best we can do is to pick something up from the wine section of the supermarket.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 900

    Can you all believe that today is the 900th day of my weight loss journey? With all of its ups and downs, I am happy that I am many clothes sizes and over a hundred pounds. I have lost some ground since my best weight ever, but I will be working to get back there. My weight will be a lifelong struggle, and to forget that would be disastrous.

    Despite enjoying a delicious dinner at The Keg (after which we shared the Billy Miner Pie… look it up if you don’t know), my weight was down significantly this morning from yesterday. While I did not drop all of the 2.6 lbs. that I added from the backyard birthday party, a significant portion did melt away. It was a relief that my weight did not go up!

    I love having my wife here with me for so many reasons. One of those reasons is that she helps me to make better food choices. That is not to say that she tells me ‘Oh don’t eat that!’ but rather knowing that she is here, I have fewer emotional and psychological reasons to overeat. Yes, I had chips at the birthday party… but I only had a few bites of the cake. It could easily have gone much worse than it did. Birthdays are birthdays, and we have to make some exceptions sometimes.

    My plan for the next couple of days is to enjoy as much time with her as I can. We both hate that she has to return to Texas Wednesday. Our visits are too short, but until I get my Green Card processed, that’s how we have to make our relationship work. We are almost always happy when we are together, but the parting is always extremely sad.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 899

    The birthday barbecue that Mitchell and I threw for each other yesterday was a lot of fun. It was the first time Leslie got to meet some of the Lodge brothers, and we had a great time. We (that is to say I) ate way too much. While everything was all delicious, I was not consciously making good food choices. I knew that when I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning my weight would be up significantly. I suspect that had I been able to successfully move my bowels it would not have been as bad, but I was still not upset with myself for the 2.4 lbs. Increase.

    This morning, I prepared an omelette for Leslie and me, and it was quite tasty. For lunch, we shared some leftovers. This evening, she is taking me for dinner at The Keg, which has become a birthday tradition for us. I expect that following this evening’s meal, my weight will once again be up tomorrow. On Thursday I will resume eating carefully.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 898

    Happy birthday to me! Leslie and I spent the day at a buddy’s place in Grimsby. He threw a joint-birthday celebration for him and me, and we had a wonderful time. More tomorrow!

  • Day 897

    As I prepared to hit publish on today’s article, I realized that I had completely messed up the numbers. Yesterday, for some reason, I published my three-word article as Day 897, which it was not – that’s today. I did so on my phone, so when I sat at my computer to write today’s article, I opened my Word document and kecked the numbers… instead of Day 896, I typed in Day 869. As I looked at that, I then knew that today was Day 870. No it is not! I corrected both yesterday’s and today’s article, and can now publish the real Day 897. 

    Over the course of the last three days, my weight has dropped 1.4 lbs. Each day. This morning, it was back down to 285 lbs. from a high just a few days ago of 290.2, which is a relief. 

    I had hoped just a couple of weeks ago that by the time Leslie arrived, my weight would be at or even under 270 lbs., but then I fell… hard. If the previous weeks had not been bad enough, the three days of fireworks were a total disaster for me.  

    I have also started to come to terms with just how hard the war in Gaza has hit me. This is a multi-pronged issue, including the fact that I was too old to get called up, the fact that there is nothing I can do to help the hostages who are still being held captive, and the millions of protestors – ranging from useful idiots of Hamas to pure Nazis who hate Jews and hate Israel, but who know it is usually impolitic to express those opinions – who are calling for the annihilation of my country and of my people. It has been killing me, but it was not until Leslie told me that she understands the pain that I am in. Since she got here yesterday afternoon, I have broken down in tears over it a few times… something that I am not comfortable doing in front of anyone else. 

    We went out for breakfast this morning, and then I prepared a late lunch for us… knowing that I am going to be teaching until 9:00pm, which means that we cannot have dinner until then. I do not expect that my weight will be down tomorrow, but then at no point did I expect that I would be losing weight during Leslie’s visit. 

    Tomorrow is my birthday, and some friends are throwing a barbecue party for me, and for the other Mitchell who is a member of our Lodge. It should be fun! I look forward to seeing them all (and the wives and girlfriends), and to introducing Leslie to them. Having learned from the previous barbecue that I attended, I volunteered to bring the hotdogs. That way I know that they are all-beef, and that Leslie and I can eat them. We also bought chips and coleslaw, as well as a new lawn/balcony chair (one of my older ones broke last month). We will bring two chairs with us, knowing that there will be a lot of people coming, and not knowing how many chairs Mitchell and his wife have! 

    Leslie and I had a lovely day together, and while I am now teaching (the students have a lab to do, so I can write as well) until 9:00pm. After that, we will light the candles and say our prayers, and we will enjoy a lovely meal together. 

    Have a great day folks! 

  • Day 897

    Leslie’s here! Yay!

  • Day 895

    I have gained a ridiculous amount of weight over the past twelve days. Part of that is because of my lack of self-control, but a lot of it is because of psychological issues that I am going through. I am dealing with them, but the three-day weekend of unending explosions from 8:45pm through 11:00pm did nothing to make it better. Those three days were disastrous, with a six-pound increase in my weight. Fortunately, this morning I lost a little over a pound.

    Leslie arrives tomorrow and I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to seeing her.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 894

    Oops

  • Day 893

    Last night was extremely difficult for me. As the fireworks exploded incessantly for over two hours, I was mostly in the kitchen… eating. I hate fireworks. My weight was up this morning… by a lot.