Losing a part of me

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  • Day 448

    On Monday, I jogged 5.6km and then walked 7.3km. Yesterday I ran the same route… except I jogged 12km, literally crushing it! Yes, I pulled up with under 1km to go, and I walked the rest of the way. It felt absolutely amazing! Five of those kilometres were under 7m42s, with three more under 8 minutes even. I know that there are two factors (aside from fatigue) that slow me down: jogging uphill and jogging into the wind. Because of that, my sixth kilometre was my slowest, at 8m43s. While I heard my app read that into my ear, I was a little disheartened, but I kept going anyways. While I would slow down afterwards, my best kilometre was actually my eighth. Yes, I was extremely pleased by my progress. I might take a break today because of a hectic schedule, but if I keep this up, I will finally earn that 15km badge in the next couple of weeks.

    Jogging

    • Distance: 12.02km (5.6km)
    • Duration: 1:36:17 (41:34)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 8m00s (7m25s)
    • Steps: 14,350 (6,435)
    • Calories burned: 1,534 (576)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 149 (155)

    I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that there is a challenge on one of my apps to run or walk 1,023 kilometres in this calendar year. Following yesterday’s workout, I am now 29% done (with 299.77km tracked as activities). I am also ranked in the top 18.6% of participants. While that only has me ranked 26,222, as of this morning there are over 141,000 people signed up for the challenge. That means that I am actually ahead of over 114,500 people. Of course, there is no prize for finishing first. The prizes are a lottery drawn of the people who finish the full 1,023km in the year. If I continue at this pace, I am well on my way to accomplishing that. I do not care if I win one of the prizes or not. Accomplishing that goal will be amazing enough.

    I did cheat a little yesterday. I bought a small bag of peanuts, which I ate in the car. I was stuck in traffic getting out of Toronto for over two hours, and I needed something. After all, having burned over 1,500 calories on my jog, I knew that I might get away with it. Yes, that will slightly affect my weight loss when I step onto the scale at the doctor’s office, but I needed it. I also drank a lot of water!

    Yesterday was also my best steps day in years, clocking over 21,500 steps. I may not be down from my last weigh-in… but I am certainly doing what I need to do in order to get back on track. Considering that between March 31 and April 10 I actually gained nine pounds, I am really happy that I am well on my way to losing all of that in less than a week.

    When I was speaking with Leslie last night, she mentioned that she thought that I ate pretty well while I was in Dallas. I reminded her that the day before I flew down, I broke my diet because I was not feeling well (accounting for a two-pounds gain recorded before I flew on April 1). Additionally, when I was there, aside from eating late at night a few times, I also ate a lot of matzah (with quite a bit of peanut butter), not to mention the entire bag of chips I ate on the airplane coming home. My weight gain is nobody’s fault but my own.

    In any event, according to the bathroom scale this morning I am down another 3.4 lbs. from yesterday. I have dropped all of the weight that I gained in Dallas plus nearly half a pound and am 1.6 lbs. from again reaching my best weight ever. It feels great to know that in contrast to how things usually work, it took me just two days to shed the weight that I gained over eight days. I have so often lamented that it would usually take a few days to lose the weight gained from a single cheat day. I am energized by this success and will continue to stay on track today. Unlike most mornings when I am off to the doctor’s office, I did not even brew my pot of coffee when I came in from walking the Princess. I will do that upon my triumphant return. What would I consider a triumphant weigh-in? Just yesterday I would have said that if my weight is stable from three weeks ago, or even if I am only a few ounces heavier, then I would be happy. Based on my bathroom scale weigh-in, I might be as much as 1kg down. That will be huge for me indeed, considering the last couple of weeks.

    I am off to the doctor’s office, hoping for good news (which would be little or no gain from my last visit three weeks ago). I am also looking forward to discussing my gastro issues with him, and whether or not I should start weening myself off the full-fast program now, or if I could continue through June. I also have to discuss my ADHD medication, and whether I need to increase (or lower) the dosage, or if we should be trying a different medication. There are some days when I feel fine, but there are others when I am just not as focused as I should be… and when I seem to talk a lot more than I did a month ago. I’ll see you all in a jiffy!

    —

    I have developed a great rapport with the nurse who weighs me at the doctor’s office, and she is always amazed by how well I am doing. This morning she looked at me even before I stepped onto the scale and told me that she thought I have lost even more weight. I was not sure, but in fact my weight was down 1.3kg from three weeks ago. No, it is not the same pace I have been losing the last few weigh-ins (as much as 4.7kg lost from three weeks ago), but it is still a loss. Considering the realities of the last few weeks, that is a huge win for me!

    The other issues that I discussed with the doctor were all good news. He feels I should stick with my current medication (and dosage) for another month to see if external factors may have played a part in my changes, and he feels that I can safely stay on the full fast program for another month or two without concern. I asked him about blood work, and he told me that even though I have lost 50 lbs. since he last tested me, there was nothing of concern then (December) so he does not think we need to retest now. In a few months we will revisit that. He also told me that the ultrasound of my knee was clean, so I can continue jogging, and as we have discussed before, I should let pain be my guide… if I have to slow down or shorten my jogs, then do so.

    Speaking of which, if I do not get out now then I will not be able to do it at all today. I just finished a great meeting with a training broker who wants to work with me, but it went longer than it was supposed to, so I have to hurry up. I was not planning on jogging as long today as I did yesterday, but I know that I have to be home at 11:30 so that I can shower before heading out to the dentist.

    My plan for today remains the same… I will stay mindful and focused, and I will keep crushing it.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 447

    I am not sure why I was not able to jog farther than I did yesterday. I pulled up at a little over 5.5km, opting to powerwalk the rest of the way. The two workouts combined for 12.9km, respectable by any measure. I just do not know why I stopped running. My legs were not bothering me, nor were my lungs. There was just an overall feeling of… something. While the walking did not break any records for me, it was certainly much faster paced than it had been since I started jogging, with my last complete kilometre clocking at 9m16s, which is not too shabby! My jogging pace was quite respectable as well, with three of my 5.6km clocked at 7.16s or faster. This morning I will hit the trails once more and see how much farther I can jog than I did yesterday. I might try to run the same path, only hopefully I will get farther before slowing my pace.

    Jogging

    • Distance: 5.6km (4.09km)
    • Duration: 41:34 (34:22)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 7m25s (8m24s)
    • Steps: 6,435 (5,200)
    • Calories burned: 576 (450)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 155 (151)

    Walking

    • Distance: 7.3km
    • Duration: 1:11:06
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 9m44s
    • Steps: 9,950
    • Calories burned: 689
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 140

    Leslie and I had a conversation about my running shoes last week. Most experts say that running shoes have a life expectancy, and a quick glance at the studies online shows me that most of my shoes are ready to be retired. There is one pair that is an exception to that, but most of my running shoes are approaching what looks like their golden years. That is before we even consider the fact that every pair of running shoes that I own knew my feet when I was well over 300 lbs., which would be a big factor in further reducing the life expectancy of them. All this to say that I think it is about time I look into ordering a new pair or two… especially if I am going to do a lot of running over the spring and summer.

    I have to drive into Toronto this afternoon for a meeting, which will be a bit of a schmooze-fest, but it is with someone who knows a lot of people in my industry and is going to try to get me interviews with a few companies. Knowing my current situation, I am not sure how I feel about taking a job in Canada… but contracts are always good, and it never hurts to know more people. This person was introduced to me by a former colleague who I respect, and who respects me; he would not knowingly be wasting my time. The only complication with that is the driving to and from the city… mostly from, based on the timing. I will likely stay put until the worst of the rush hour traffic is past, and then drive back to Burlington. To be safe, I will take my Taekwondo kit with me, because I would really like to get to class this evening.

    Okay, so I ran yesterday… and I walked. I also got back on the full-fast program and did not have any issues on that front. I did notice I was a little peckish as I lay in bed, but I am sure that was more mental than physical; I did not lie awake with hunger pangs; it was more of a quick ‘I think I’m a bit hungry’ as I spoke with Leslie… who reminded me that I was probably not hungry at all. She was right! I told her during our conversation that I was expecting my weight to drop dramatically from yesterday (when it rose dramatically). She reminded me that I had been off my program for ten days, and I should not expect to lose it all in one day. I assured her that I expected it would take at least a week to shed all the weight I had gained. After all, I was a whopping nine pounds heavier than my best weight (March 31, eleven days ago). The bathroom scale was very kind to me this morning, giving me back an incredible four pounds of progress, and dropping me, once again, below that dreaded 260 lbs. mark. While I am still five pounds from my best weight ever, I am only three pounds heavier than I was the morning I flew to Dallas eleven days ago… which was the morning after I had a pretty big cheat meal because of the scare with my bowels. I am feeling good, and while my hemorrhoids are still bothering me, the other bowel issues (which came with stomach cramps) seem to be gone. Nonetheless, I will still be speaking with my doctor about the issues tomorrow, and we will discuss if it is safe for me to continue on the full fast program… at least for another six weeks or so.

    Another issue I plan to discuss with my doctor tomorrow is my ADHD medications. The first couple of months on them I felt like a new man, with a renewed energy and focus, while being able to sit still without interrupting people all the time. These last few weeks – possibly since the last dosage increase – I have not felt quite so focused; at first, I thought it was just me, but when Leslie asked about it, I realized that it is real, and that I had better speak with the doctor. That meeting is tomorrow morning, which works out perfectly because tomorrow I will take the last pill in my previous prescription. I had called the pharmacy to renew, but if I do not collect the pills, and I get a new prescription from my doctor tomorrow, then they will simply cancel the old one and give me the new dosage… or new medication, as the case may be. That is not a subject that I am expert in and will listen to what the doctor has to say about it.

    Over the next two hours the temperatures should be jumping from the current 8° to 14° at 10:00am and peaking at 19° from 2-6pm. It is partly cloudy out, and while there was a bit of a breeze as I walked Her Floofness this morning, it was no worse than that. From 2:00pm the forecast calls for high winds, which seem to die down by 7:00pm. It looks like if all goes well, by the time I get home from Taekwondo this evening, the weather will be perfect to enjoy a cigar on the balcony. I finished my book yesterday afternoon, which means I should be giving some thought to my next read. I think I am going to continue with the current trend – I am listening to an audiobook that is fiction and will look for something in non-fiction to read on my e-book reader. An old friend of mine has written several books on cybersecurity, including one on the Dark Web that I have been meaning to read for a couple of years. <ten minutes later> I just reached out to him to ask if he thinks it is still relevant. Hopefully I will get an answer before it is time to read!

    My plans for today, with regard to my weight management program, are to stay on track and stay mindful. I will be going for my jog around 10:00am, after which I will come home, shower, answer any e-mails I may get, and then have my second meal replacement before heading out to Toronto. I will be taking my third meal replacement with me so that I can have it in the car before Taekwondo and will then have my fourth shake after Taekwondo (and before my cigar, should I be able to enjoy one). Staying on track and staying mindful are the best way to guarantee that I get back on track this week. I know that unless I have another tremendous weight drop tomorrow, I will not have lost weight between doctors’ visits for the first time since January. It’s okay though. I made the conscious decision to go off the program for good reason, and I stand by it. The fact that it coincided with a week of not being able to exercise did hurt a little, but I am back on track, and the weight will continue to come off. Mindfulness and focus are how I will ultimately succeed.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 446

    Okay, let’s get back on track. Starting right now, I am on track again. The numbers on the bathroom scale this morning scared me straight, and I am back on the full fast program… at least, for now. I do not know how much longer I will do it, and I might transition to a partial program sometime soon… but I weigh nine pounds more than I did at my best weight ever, and I am going to shed that off in a hurry. Also, I know that in less than three weeks I am getting married to my wife (yes, we are already married, and yes, this is the ceremony we are looking forward to, not just the two of us in the courthouse), so I want to look as good as I can!

    Why, you may ask, did I gain so much weight from yesterday to today? It is easy to chalk it up to air travel, but I am the first to admit that I cheated… a lot. At the airport, I sat down for a meal of a veggie omelet, which is not at all bad. While I am sure they fry it in too much oil, and to make it tastier they add more cheese than necessary, I still know that three eggs at dinnertime was not my downfall. Nor, I should mention, was the remaining half-handful of almonds that I still had in my knapsack from the flight down. It was the bag of chips that I bought at the airport, knowing that the only snacks available to me on the plane would not be kosher for Passover. Also, it was the meal replacement that I had after midnight when I came home, not wanting to go to bed hungry. Two really stupid moves. It was already going to take me at least a few days to get back down to my best weight ever… now I am just that much farther from it. The journey starts now, and it starts with me back on the program, and it continues with me getting out to jog today.

    It is a beautiful day in Burlington, but I miss Leslie already. It is always wonderful when we are together, and so much more difficult each time we are apart. I know that this will change eventually, but not soon enough for us.

    The forecast for today is sunny until 3:00pm, at which point it clouds over. By noon (in an hour) the temperatures should be around 13°, going up to 17° over the following two hours. That should be the sweet spot for my first outdoor jog in a couple of weeks. When I get home, after I shower, I will have my second meal replacement of the day, and then I will probably sit outside on the balcony with a cigar. I am teaching this evening, and tomorrow during the day I have to work on my cybersecurity presentation that I am doing on Friday. I have already created the outline for it, now I just have to fill in all of the slides, and then write a script for it. This should be fun, but as with my last one, it will be a lot of work!

    I am not treating today as another Day 1 on the program; It is simply the day that I return to it from holiday. While I am reasonably sure the meal replacements are not strictly kosher for Passover, they will do me fine, and Hashem will understand. In 2020 I fell off the wagon hard after Yom Kippur. That will not happen this time around. I went over some bumps, but I am righting the ship… starting right now.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 445

    When I press publish on this journal entry for my blog, I will get a notice that I am on a 219-day streak. In just a few more days, my current streak will exceed the original streak of 225 days, which lasted through September 1. I will match that on Saturday, surpassing it Sunday. This is one of those irrelevant statistics that I like to keep track of. For example, while I post absolutely every single day, there are fully 101 more blog entries than days on my diet (this entry will be blog post #546). I know that in the first few months I would write a couple of times per day, especially when I was writing about my fitness walking. No matter. My blog now has 182 subscribers, although I wonder how many of those are bots who are just collecting data to try to market to me. In 2023, the blog has 1,941 views, which will eventually dwarf the 4,995 views that it had in 2022 (today is April 9 so we are just over a quarter of the way through the year). There are much fewer comments this year (15 so far, compared to the 81 from 2022). The journal is slightly more than 432,000 words… still not approaching the 587,000 words in Tolstoy’s War and Peace, verbose nonetheless.

    I made it through the movie yesterday without any issues, but when we got home, I was hungry. I enjoyed some matzah before dinner, which was Leslie’s scrumptious chicken salad. As it is still Passover, my sandwich options were limited, so I decided to simply eat it with a fork. She does something with Tony Sachere seasoning that is simply delicious!

    I woke up this morning after another good night of sleep. I was only very slightly productive in the bathroom. I am not surprised, with three days backed up (which is not unusual for one with a high matzah diet), to be up slightly. I am happy I am still under my 2020 best weight yet, but when I get back to Canada, I am going to kick the matzah diet, and do my best to lose a couple of pounds this week. I have not yet decided if I am going to go back to the full program, or to the partial program… but I do know that I am going to be back in the gym (and running in the street) again. This week has been lazy in that regard for a couple of reasons; starting tomorrow, any day that I do not exercise will be an excuse.

    My plan for today is to stay mindful. I will have lunch with Leslie and her son, and then around 4:00pm we will head to the airport for another tearful goodbye. Fortunately, this time we know that it will not be a long separation, as I will be back in Dallas in under 18 days… and we will then be flying to California to get married.

    Speaking of which, everything that I ordered for the wedding arrived yesterday. The ketubah, which seems to be correct, arrived in the largest flat package we had ever seen. It was definitely protected! The kippahs (yarmulkes) arrived as well, in a much smaller package (probably because they are not as delicate). As Leslie’s wedding band arrived earlier in the week, that ends the non-consumable items. The rest – food and such – will be delivered to the synagogue the day of. It is amazing to think that the big day is three weeks from today! Leslie is anxious, and so am I… but when it is all over, it will have been worth it. And yes, I will be eating cake that day.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 444

    Despite my second unproductive morning in a row, it was such a sight to see when I stepped onto the bathroom scale to discover that my weight has, once again, dropped below 260 lbs., if only by a tiny fraction. Yesterday, my weight was back down to match my best weight from 2020, so this morning I dropped below that once again, hopefully for the last time. Once I am back home, I will be able to resume my exercise regimen, which even if I were to maintain my current eating (that is, not back on the meal replacements at all), would likely see me losing more weight. For now, I am hoping that when I step onto the scale at the doctor’s office on Wednesday that I weigh slightly less than I did at my previous weigh-in there. This morning I am still one pound heavier than I was that morning on my bathroom scale, so I as long as I am able to stay on track, I should be able to lose more than that between now and then.

    My diet these last couple of days has essentially consisted of chicken and matzah, and whatever I might put on the matzah (which alternates between margarine with jam and charoset with horseradish). I also had a really large iced tea yesterday which was really tasty but has 226 calories and a whopping 60g of sugar. It is a wonderful treat, but I have to remember that it should be only that… an occasional treat. I might think about cutting down to a smaller size in future, but with the extreme heat of the Texas summer ahead, I might stick with the large size which does help with hydration.

    This afternoon we are going to see a movie, which under normal circumstances would be a terrible temptation for me. During Passover I am not allowed to eat popcorn (with or without butter) so there is a good chance that I will not have any snacks and will get through that unscathed. I will have lunch before we go, which will, once again, consist of leftover chicken (which really is so tasty!) that needs to be finished before I leave tomorrow evening. There are some people who, like me, will continue to enjoy the same leftover meal for days on end. Others cannot do that, so I know that whatever I do not eat will probably go into the garbage. Leslie and her son have been eating whatever they will eat – neither of them are Jewish, so the rules of Kashrut do not apply to them – and it has not bothered me one bit. Leslie did mention that they were trying to be respectful around me, but I assured her that I am not in the least bit bothered by whatever they might be eating. As for them not wanting to eat the leftovers… that just means more yummy chicken for me!

    There is also enough charoset left over to choke a horse… I do not know if Leslie will eat any of it once I go home, but I know that I cannot take it with me, so I am enjoying it (in moderation) until I go. I never understood why Jews only make charoset for the Passover Seder… it is so delicious, and there is nothing to stop us from making it all year round? The point is that we don’t, and that’s life. I do know that I would not want to have the sweet kosher wine in the house… it is not something that regular people would choose to drink but is necessary for making the tasty charoset (which is meant to be symbolic of the mortar that the enslaved Israelites made in Egypt).

    The plan for today is to stay on track… I will be mindful, and even though we might be eating dinner out, Leslie and I have already discussed a restaurant option where I can eat without violating my religious dietary requirements. It will be a different chicken meal, which does not bother me at all… I can eat chicken every day of the week and not get bored with it. I will not snack at the movies, and I will stay mindful should we take the boy somewhere there might be temptations. One thing I am going to have to start remembering is that when I exercise, I can take greater liberties with my eating than on days when I do not. My last ‘exercise’ was when I walked home from the lounge a week ago today, and while the walk was a respectable 6.25km, I did it in sandals which means I was not exerting myself like I would when powerwalking. I also did my foot with the blisters, which kept me from running the next few days. Yes, my foot has been healed for a couple of days, but my work schedule prevented me from getting out.

    I should mention that yesterday I recorded my session on Securing the Internet of Things, which I spent a lot of time working on this past week. I think it went really well and am looking forward to seeing the final post-production product, which is being released in a couple of weeks. This week I have to prepare another session, which will be recorded Friday. It is on another cybersecurity topic which I will have to spend some time looking at and putting together. I know what I am going to say, but I need to organize my thoughts into slides, and then write up a script for it. It is funny that I spend so much more time preparing for a 40-minute session than I ever do for an 8-hour class… the difference between being watched and being recorded!

    I am not excited to be returning to Canada tomorrow, but life must go on until we get our paperwork settled. It will come, we just have to be patient. For now, at least I have one more night with my lovely wife.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 443

    Yesterday went exactly as planned, which is a good thing. The charoset that I made was a bit of a paste, but everyone enjoyed it so I will call it a success. My chicken came out great, and my wife and stepson’s first Passover Seder was a success. I am truly blessed.

    This morning I got another positive reading from the bathroom scale, which is to say that I lost a little more weight. I made another omelet for breakfast, which I supplemented with a bit of matzah. I am going to be eating mostly protein for the rest of the day – there is plenty of leftover chicken for me to feast on, so I am not worried about hitting the carb-laden matzah too hard. This will be a smart move for many reasons, not the least of which is that matzah is binding, and my streak of mornings with successful bowel movements ended today.

    If all goes well, my weight might drop back below 260 lbs. before I return to Canada, and if not then certainly in my first couple of days back. The fact that I was actually eight pounds up after just a few days off the program was jarring, but I also know I was having stomach issues which I could not ignore. I also know that I have not been exercising since I got here, which would likely have mitigated the severe weight gain. I am not at all upset though… my health must come first.

    To my Jewish readers, have a Happy Passover; to my Christian readers, a blessed Good Friday. To one and all… have a great day folks!

  • Day 442

    I spent the afternoon yesterday at the cigar lounge working. When I got home, I took a shower, and then before my class started, I ate a couple pieces of matzah. I did this both because it is a mitzvah (commandment) to do so on the first night of Passover, but also because I was hungry. I had originally planned to go to the supermarket to pick up a chicken breast, or some other suitable food to prepare for dinner after class. I was worried I was running late, so that did not happen. I ended up having matzah and butter and jam for dinner and was quite satisfied by it.

    Today is the first day of Passover. As a kid, it was always my favourite holiday. The traditional foods are amazing, the story is inspiring, and the songs were always a lot of fun. It was the only holiday on which we would sit around the table and sing. I loved it and still do. Today I am older, and the Passover Seders of my childhood are far behind me. That does not mean that I will not sit with my tiny family this evening and try to share some of that same joy with them. I will be preparing a roasted chicken, and I will make charoset, which is a concoction of apples, nuts, cinnamon, honey, and sweet wine. It is the first time that I am making it, and I do not know how it will work out. I am sure it won’t be bad, but it won’t be terrible.

    With all of the matzah that I ate yesterday (including a pre-class snack and after class, plus some chocolate covered matzah that I shared with the family), I was still able to move my bowels this morning. I was also pleased that the numbers on the bathroom scale were substantially down. I am almost back down to my original best weight from 2020 (within .4 lb), which was a better than two-pound drop from yesterday morning. I was thinking that it will not be so difficult to get back to my best-weight-ever territory, which is still six pounds from where I am today. There will only be one or two restaurant meals the rest of this week (if we do not include salads), and so many of the cheat foods that I usually turn to on my partial program are off-limits to me because of the holiday. My diet will consist mostly of eggs for breakfast, salads for lunch, and light proteins for dinner. Even without the exercise that I had been doing prior to this week, I might still lose a couple more pounds before returning to Canada!

    My plans for today are to go shopping and then spend the day preparing for the Seder. It will be a very abridged Seder, but a fun one, nonetheless. While the charoset is a bit fattening, and the matzah is one big carbohydrate, everything else on the menu (read: roasted chicken) would be perfectly fine on my modified program… which I am not really doing now. This week my intention was to eat (mostly) smart, but the program was never on the agenda… at least, not after the stomach and bowel issues I have started late last week. On that front, I would not swear to it, but the swollen hemorrhoids might be reducing in size these last two days, as well as in discomfort. They are still absolutely there and big and huge and yucky, but either they are less so than they were, or I am just getting used to them. I am leaning toward the former, and that is not simple optimism. I know there are a lot of discomforts that I have gotten accustomed to over the years… I cannot imagine that is one of them.

    I made a lovely three-egg omelet for breakfast. A little bit of olive oil in the pan, a dash of milk in the eggs, some of the leftover cauliflower from the dinner I prepared the other night chopped up, and a bit of shredded sharp cheddar, all with a dash of salt. It was absolutely delicious and reminded me that I do not need bread… and I do not need my meal replacements to eat healthy.

    It is a cool and cloudy day today but that is fine because I do not plan to spend a lot of time outside. I have to go to the supermarket to buy a chicken and possibly another box of matzah… depending on whether this store has them or not. Other than that, I will be home most of the day. On second look I do not think the charoset will be too difficult to prepare (it is mostly about chopping fruit and nuts which will be done in the blender), and roasting a chicken is not new to me. The only thing I need to consider is what seasoning to put on the bird, but that will not be the hardest thing to decide.

    I suppose I should get started. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 441

    I ended up splurging yesterday evening. We decided to go for burgers. It was sooo good, but it is not something that I will miss having for the next two or three months. It was my only aberration from the program, and I still did reasonably well. For the first time since I left Canada, my weight dropped ever so slightly this morning. It was a welcome relief, even though I made the conscious decision to get off the program for my trip. I am not upset by what I weigh today… I would just prefer for my weight to not go any higher than it is now.

    This morning I had a bowl of breakfast cereal, which will be my last leavened food for eight days. My lunch will likely be a salad, but starting this evening I will be eating matzah (unleavened bread) with every meal. It is a Jewish tradition that commemorates the exodus from Egypt following the ten plagues; with the Pharoah Ramses II’s army chasing them, they did not wait for their dough to rise. Knowing the effects on the body that matzah can have, I suspect it might commemorate how tight their butt cheeks were knowing that if they were caught, they would be slaughtered. All this to say that 1) I am glad I have fibre for if (when) I need it, and 2) I am really glad that I have been able to clear out the backup in my bowels over the last few days, because it might be starting to build up again.

    Speaking of that, yesterday morning I finally moved my bowels three times, which went a long way to relieving the stomach discomfort that I have been experiencing these last few days. I was also successful with that this morning, so hopefully that is a sign that my issues are abating. It was less painful today than it has been, which I hope is a sign that my hemorrhoids are finally starting to go down. These last few days have been uncomfortable in so many ways, and it is nice to know that these pains are not permanent. For a minute there it felt they might be!

    My plan for today is to work, although in the afternoon I will migrate that work to the cigar lounge. I will have a salad for lunch, and after class this evening I will have a light dinner… maybe a chicken breast, but we will discuss our options shortly. I will start eating matzah as our laws and traditions dictate with dinner. Tomorrow, I have a lot of cooking and other food prep to do, which will take up most of my day. In the evening I will serve a traditional but very abridged Passover Seder meal, which will consist of the foods I prepare (including the full Seder Plate, but other than that it will be roasted chicken).

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 440

    My next appointment with my doctor is one week from today, and I have a couple of things that I need to discuss with him before I continue on the program; rather, whatever I end up deciding with regard to the program, I need to discuss them with them. I am not concerned that my weight is likely to be up from my last visit – rather, it is likely going to be the same, as I had lost a few pounds before regaining the few pounds. There is a reason I made the decision at the beginning of this journey to be monitored regularly by my physician; most of our meetings have been progress reports, but I know that it is impossible to lose this much weight without changes to the body, and while most of those changes are positive, there was bound to be one or two negatives in there. Welcome to Negative #1.

    (I am also interested in the results of my ultrasound, but that has been an issue for months, and is not nearly as urgent as the other things.)

    When I sat down to write this entry, I was feeling a bit dejected because I did stick to the plan yesterday – I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and a piece of fish with cauliflower for dinner – and I still gained a tiny bit of weight. I would have mentioned that I did enjoy a gin and tonic with my cigar last night, but that was the only change. I had even had a bit of a bowel movement in the morning, which has been the case almost every day. I had eaten my cereal and was in the middle of my coffee when the urge hit… I went to the toilet and had the first really substantial BM that I have had since the hemorrhoids started. I would normally never get onto the bathroom scale after having my breakfast, but I made the exception. Even having eaten, the weight that I had gained from yesterday was reversed. It is a relief to know that if I eat like I ate yesterday I might not lose weight, but I will not gain weight either. If that is what my maintenance will look like going forward, then I will be able to keep the weight off when I am where I eventually want to be.

    I met a really interesting man yesterday. He is a member of the Facebook group that I run for cigar lovers, and since he lives in this city I decided to reach out and connect with him. We sat at the lounge for three hours enjoying cigars and conversation. What makes him so interesting is that he is a Southerner who is quite right wing (I am a political moderate) and a devout Christian (I am Jewish)… and we sat and had long, respectful discussions about issues on which we do not agree, but we did it respectfully. It is so wonderful to know that with all of the extremists in this country (and in my own) who refuse to listen to the viewpoint of the other side, two people who do not agree can have respectful discourse and enjoy each other’s company. He and I will definitely be staying in touch.

    I hope to get back into running today, or at least walking. I have a few things that I do need to get done before that happens, but if I can head out for an hour this afternoon, I will be quite pleased with it. I know that had I been able to do so the last few days I would not have gained nearly as much weight as I have. The blister on the bottom of my foot is still… there; while I feel it, it is not painful as it was the last couple of days. I will make a gametime decision on that; if I decide not to go today, then tomorrow I will absolutely be hitting the trails (so to speak).

    My plan for today is to eat reasonably. I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and will have a salad for lunch. Dinner is still up in the air, but Leslie and I will have something nice. This evening is the last night that I can eat chametz before Passover starts. While the holiday only starts tomorrow evening, it is customary to stop eating anything not ‘kosher for Passover’ around noon tomorrow… and knowing how bad the breakfast cereals I have been enjoying are for my weight, I will cut that out as well and make an omelet or something. I have always loved breakfast cereals, but I will be better off when they are an occasional indulgence and not a regular part of my diet. There are many aspects to the weight loss journey, and one of them is changing my habits and how I see different foods.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 439

    I am having a wonderful time, and I am not apologetic in the least (to anyone, but least of all to myself) that the bathroom scale has my weight slightly up again, on top of the tremendous jump from yesterday. It is not that I am overeating terribly, nor that I am making particularly bad food choices. For the second night in a row we came in very late and ate very late. I will get back on track today… I did have a bowl of cereal for breakfast (not a great choice), but lunch will be a salad, and for dinner I will prepare a nice piece of fish with a side vegetable – probably cauliflower.

    I did make sure to get all of my steps in yesterday. I am not running for a couple of reasons (and will not run today) but I did get a lot of walking in. While my body is feeling mostly fine, I do still have that niggling blister on the bottom of my foot that is making me hold back for another day. According to my fitness watch I have hit my steps target eight days in a row; I would like to keep that going, even though I will still hold back from running. If I do not then that is not the end of the world – I have a lot of things going on today, including a meeting this afternoon and teaching this evening. Come to think of it, unless a miracle happens, I suspect my streak will end today. Not the end of the world.

    My plan for today is to get back on track. My daily cheat was a bowl of breakfast cereal, which is not the worst thing in the world. I have already mentioned what else I will be eating. There will be cigars in the afternoon, and possibly in the evening as well. The main thing I have to remember is that after dinner (which will be later than usual because of my class, but not late) I will not eat anything else. If I stick to this plan, tomorrow morning the numbers on the bathroom scale should be a little forgiving of the last three days of transgressions.

    Have a great day folks!