Losing a part of me

I am checked in for tomorrow’s flight! I am stoked. It was a massive technological pain in the rear, but it is done. I have my boarding pass, I have reserved my Uber pickup, and I am ready… in twenty-four hours I will be with my wife!

My new clothes arrived on Monday, and yesterday I was able to collect both my alterations and my dry cleaning. The next few days will be a whirlwind of activity, but it will be completely worth it! We have the ketubah and the kippot, I have ordered the food, the wedding cake, and the wine. The food is being handled by the absolute Chassid who works for the community, and I will be making a generous donation into his pocket as well. The cake is being delivered Sunday morning from the kosher bakery in (or right near) Beverly Hills. The kosher wine has been ordered and paid for, and a friend is picking it up today or tomorrow from the winery in Oxnard. All of the honorifics have been assigned and agreed to. The rental car is booked and paid for, and the hotel is reserved. Tomorrow I will spend a few hours at the cigar lounge in Dallas, where they have put aside a number of special cigars that will be for Leslie, the Rabbi, and for me. In addition to that, I am bringing two boxes of Cuban cigars with us to share with our guests, which are already in Dallas. My ring is the same ring we exchanged at the courthouse in Dallas, but Leslie is getting a new ring (for religious reasons), which I already have. If there is anything that I am missing, then I do not know what it is.

For those of you who think that this preparedness has somehow lessened my current levels of anxiety, I assure you that is not the case. With that said, at least I can maintain an outward calmness with the knowledge that everything that can be planned for has been taken care of.

Unfortunately, none of that has curbed my emotional stress-snacking these last couple of days, and it is only the tremendous physical activity that I am pushing myself to continue that has stopped me gaining ten pounds this week.

Speaking of physical activity, I did jog outside yesterday, and it was a great one. I am certain that it was my best-paced outdoor run since I was a soldier, with my slowest kilometre (the 2^nd) coming in at 7m17s, and my best an incredible 6m56s. Even jogging into the wind (which blew from west to east) I was killing it!

Jogging

• Distance: 10.29km (8.12km)
• Duration: 1:13:33 (54:17)
• Average Pace (Min/km): 7m08s (6m41s)
• Steps: 11,768 (8,400)
• Calories burned: 1,300 (1,034)
• Average cadence (steps per minute): 160 (154)

On the MapMyFitness challenge I briefly broke into the top-19,000 yesterday but was pushed slightly above that mark by people who registered their exercise after I did. I am still in the top 13% though – an impressive feat indeed, especially knowing that I did not do any serious walking or running until February, and it was not until March that I was getting out almost daily. As I have said before, I am not going to come close to the top of the leaderboard… but I will complete the challenge, and I will continue to compete with myself to be better than I was last week and last month… and certainly better than I was last year! The fact that I have run 90km in April amazes me (especially since I did not record my first run of the month until April 10). I will keep going until I win… not against anyone else but me.

I came home and prepared my lunch, then jumped into the shower to clean myself off. When I emerged, I had enough time to get dressed and then prepare a salad before the chicken was ready. Had I just stopped there, yesterday would have been a success. I did not. Enough said. I weigh exactly what I weighed a month ago, even though I have been up and down a lot in that time. As long as thiis a plateau rather than my falling off the wagon then I am okay with that. I have made such incredible progress – I am nearly fifty pounds down since January 1 – that I cannot really fault myself for the occasional slide… as long as that is all that it is.

While it is completely out of character for me, my suitcase is packed… or at least, it is as packed as it can be in advance, which is to say that my toothbrush and assorted sundries will go in this evening. I have enough socks, underwear, shoes, and t-shirts in Dallas so as to not need to worry about those, but my suit, sports jacket, vest, and shirts had to be packed. I am also taking a couple of ties, even though Leslie has bought me some gorgeous ones! There is one in particular that I will wear with my vest and burgundy shirt that matches perfectly. My carry-on bag is also packed – including several religious objects that are needed for the wedding. This evening before my class starts, I will give it all a once-over to make sure I have not forgotten anything, and then I will close them and be ready. Until then, I will just try to stay calm.

I was supposed to go to the doctor’s office to get weighed this morning, but after a terrible night’s sleep I had a big balagan with checking in for my flight, and by the time it was resolved I had missed the appointment. I called and scheduled a new appointment for the week I get back from the trip. Unfortunately, that will have to be an afternoon appointment as I am teaching in the morning.

Today I break my streak. My steps goal streak, currently sitting at 16 days, will not be extended. I know that jogging is good for so many things, but it has also been causing me to feel muscle aches in my glutes – the joys of getting back into shape – which can, the day of and the day after a good workout, cause discomfort while sitting for long spells. Knowing that I will be spending 4 hours on a plane tomorrow as well as the following day, I decided that caution is the order of the day. I also saw that my daily step goal has increased once more, now at 12,610 steps (up from 8,560 on Saturday). That number will continue to increase as long as I smash it every day (yesterday my goal was 11,490, and I hit 17,045 steps). I suspect that taking a day off from time to time is probably prudent. Additionally, after a lousy night’s sleep, my Body Battery peaked at 72/100 when I woke up this morning and is already down to 65. With my Uber scheduled to collect me at 3:30am, I know I will not get much more sleep this evening. I am going to take it easy and give my body time to recuperate.

My plans for the day are to relax. I will be mindful and will do my best to not snack. I will have a single midday meal of a piece of salmon and salad and maybe some rice, but aside from that I will try to behave. If I do that, then tomorrow morning I will get onto the plane knowing that even though I did not do well the last ten days or so, at least I have not fallen completely off the wagon. I am teaching this evening, and as has been the case the last few times that I took early morning flights the next day I will try to get to bed and to sleep as quickly after finishing class as I can.

Princess Sophie will have a fun eleven-day visit with her friends. She will go to Sue’s apartment later in the afternoon because we do not want to disturb her at 3:00am. I will not see her again until I am back the evening of May 7, which is sad but cannot be avoided. Right now, she has her best friend Charlie over for a play date, and they will have plenty of those during my absence. In the meantime, I am going to pack her toys and treats and food and dishes to make sure she has everything she needs while I am away. In the meantime, I am sure she and I will head out for another walk at some point during the day!

I have this nagging feeling that I am forgetting something, but for the life of me I cannot think of what. Aside from my class this evening I have nothing planned, and only one errand (to go pick up Smarties for my stepson). A friend was going to come over for a cigar in the afternoon, but I asked him not to because if I do realize that I forgot something then I want to be able to deal with it without inconveniencing anyone else. I am going to prepare my lunch, and then try to relax. I still have a number of phone calls to make, but unless there is an aha moment, I am going to take today very easy.

Have a great day folks!