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Day 15

I have completed two whole weeks, and aside from some almonds, I have stuck to it. Yay me!

I have to start by saying that I am in a really bad mood, and it has nothing to do with my weight loss or my body. It is about people from my past, and regrets. I was in one case a bad judge of character and helped someone who later betrayed me. I recently discovered that they are succeeding with something that I helped them with, and possibly with people that I introduced them to. I regret helping him, I regret introducing him to the other person, and despite myself I find myself hoping that he fails. On the other hand, the other person is a great guy, and just announced on Facebook the launch of a new venture in a new country. I truly hope he succeeds… I just hope the other person has nothing to do with it.

“Resentment is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die.”

While the source of that quote is unclear, the truth of it is not. That my eyes shot open well before my alarm because the possible connection between these two people came to mind is not healthy. I have to let go of it, and I will. It does not seem that as of this morning I have achieved that, but I will continue to work on it.

In short: I couldn’t fall asleep; I finally did (around 2:00am), only to be awakened by Princess Sophie asking to go out at 5:00am. I was back asleep by 5:30am and awake again by 6:15am. Today is not starting out on a great note.

Although I am reasonably happy with this morning’s weigh-in, the measurements are bothering me. It could just be that my fatigue and overall blah is preventing me from getting it right; it is also possible that for the last few weeks I measured wrong. Either way, my belly is about an inch smaller than it was last week… and my chest is two inches bigger. I’m not noting it down… something is just wrong, and I don’t much care right now.

Yes, I am in a mood. No, I do not plan to throw my diet down the drain to make myself feel better… because it won’t. Yes, the food would comfort me in the immediate, but the diet progress is what makes me feel better every day. I have to keep focusing on that.

By the way, what a lousy day to find out that the milk that I keep for my coffee turned. Before you ask, the expiry date was February 23 (nearly three weeks from now). Two sips into my first cup of coffee and it (along with a nearly full carton of milk) went down the drain.

If there was ever a morning when I should say ‘Screw all this, I’m going back to bed!’ then it’s today… and that is exactly what I am going to do… after I get a couple of things taken care of. Who wants to place a wager whether Princess Sophie will want to curl up next to me for a couple of hours?

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