Losing a part of me

The last few days have been hard. I am not in the right headspace for my class; I am not in the right headspace for my diet. I have been cheating, and I know I need to stop. I am working on it. Hopefully today will be better. I have to do better. Fortunately, I have not slid too far – I am not at my original stated goal of the week (under 310lbs), but I am also not over 312lbs. I have to remember that even when I slide, it is important to not slide too badly. A week of treading water is better than a month of perfect swimming… and then drowning.

I booked my fourth dose of the Covid-19 vaccine. Monday afternoon I will get stabbed one more time. Twice, actually… I am also getting my flu shot at the same time.

I wonder if my weight-management troubles these last few days might not have something to do with the weather. Yes, I have my heater on the patio, and I am able to smoke my cigars all winter long. With that said, I am not sure that I am ready for these temperatures yet. The high temperatures since I got back to Canada has not hit double-digits, and it has been cloudy and a bit rainy all week. That changes tomorrow, with a forecast high of 14° Celsius, and gets even nicer for the weekend. In fact, the ten-day forecast (which is akin to voodoo) shows highs from between 13° and 19° every day, with sunny or partly cloudy predicted for most of those days. I can definitely get with that… and maybe it is not such a bad thing that I have been mostly sequestered in the apartment teaching this week, and not next week.

Today will be the fourth day in a row that Princess Sophie’s best friend Charlie spends the day with us. His mom has to work all week, and I was only too happy to help. He is delicious and they love each other, but I only wish that sometimes they would play a little quieter. My students can hear them, and they can be a little distracting.

When I first moved into this building, the first person who introduced herself was a downstairs neighbour named Wendy. She has a dog named Bella, as well as a cat named Oliver. She told me that if I ever needed anything, I could ask her. When I needed someone to take care of Princess Sophie in my absence, it was her suggestion that I ask Susan (and Liz, Charlie’s Mom). I knew before I left for Dallas that she was not feeling well, but I did not know any details. I found out yesterday that she is dying. While she has all of her faculties (I am told by her family), her body is riddled with cancer. I am truly sad and will miss my conversations with her. She is a lovely woman who always has a kind word. Liz and I were talking yesterday about the pros and cons of a quick death, both on the person and on the family. I see Wendy’s family coming and going at all times – I assume they have to take care of her 24/7, and someone has to take Bella out – and cannot imagine what they are going through. I am keeping them all in my thoughts and in my prayers.

I expect this evening I will have my weekly check-in with my weight-loss buddy. It will be good to touch base because of how badly I have been doing this week. Of course, I am less than a pound heavier than I was a week ago, so all things considered, not the worst stumble I have had.

Have a great day folks!