Losing a part of me

That must sound like a ridiculous statement. This is a weight loss journal, and people who are not fat do not write weight loss journals. They certainly do not maintain them daily for a year, right? It is blatantly obvious then to my readers that I am fat… not to mention, anyone who sees me. Read it again… I did not say that I was fat. I said that I was obese. The first is not only judgmental and harsh, but it is also subjective. If I am standing in a room full of supermodels, I look fat. If I am standing in a group of people larger than I am, I might not be perceived the same way. Obese, on the other hand, is a medical term. It has a clear definition based on one’s height and weight. It is not a perfect system, but it is a pretty decent guideline.

So then why am I so happy to be obese? Because the last time I checked, I was classified as morbidly (or severely) obese, or what the American CDC refers to as Obesity Class 3. It has been a while since I checked, but this morning I saw someone mention their BMI, and I decided to check mine. Depending on the source, my classification was upgraded either when I dropped below 315 lbs. or 300 lbs.… but either way, I am safely in the new category, and working toward being upgraded to Obesity Class I (or simply overweight), but I am about sixty pounds away from that. Hopefully I can achieve that by August.

I am not going to focus on that. My goal is to be healthy, and to lose weight at a healthy pace. I want to focus on the size of my body and the fit of my clothes, and not a label made up by doctors whom I will never meet. John Lennon once said, ‘I don’t believe in Beetles, I just believe in me.’ I need to focus on my unique needs and body rather than numbers on a chart.

Okay, my day continues. In a few hours I will light the Sabbath candles. This will be my second Sabbath without challah or wine, and I am fine with that… no matter how weird it might feel.

Shabbat Shalom!